Beyond Words

One of my favorite things to do is the annual “Polar Plunge” in Austin’s Barton Springs Pool. Every New Year’s Day, hundreds of Austinites jump into the downtown spring-fed treasure that boasts a constant water temperature of 68 degrees. The “Plunge” is a way of washing off last year’s woes and starting the new year refreshed and rejuvenated.

The night before, New Year’s Eve, traditionally means champagne, noise makers, legendary parties, and toasts to Auld Lang Syne. We have never been big New Year’s Eve revelers save for a glass of champagne or two, so making it to the early morning plunge is usually not an issue, the issue is going to downtown Austin. Not my favorite part of the world of late. The weather will also dictate my plunging this year. I will keep you posted!

New Years is also a time for making resolutions and I’m personally a big resolution girl. It probably has a lot to do with making a list, which I love doing! Let’s see: lose weight, eat healthier, save more money, spend less, be more positive, read more, be nicer, exercise more. Did I miss anything? We’ve all heard them and we’ve all tried them, sometimes with stunning success and sometimes with epic fails.

I, of course, try to do all of those things, but each new year I also resolve to learn something new. I’ve studied or taken classes in everything from Italian to ice skating, cooking to shooting a gun, zip-lining to pickle ball, cross-stitch to the rosary, and bridge to yoga. I love yoga and its bridge pose but I hated bridge. Too quiet, too serious, and way too much math. My husband and I took dance lessons (he hated them) and I’ve improved my golf game and now play at least once-a-week (he loves it.) I haven’t decided what I’m going to learn this year but I don’t pressure myself to start right away; sometimes what I learn comes mid or late year and totally by surprise.

Every year I also vow to grow spiritually and plan to again in 2024. I’m deciding a virtue I’d like to grow in, a sin I’d like to eliminate, and a saint I’d like to study more about.

We often make resolutions to do things but how about resolving to not do things? Don’t give in, don’t overthink (talking to you Carla!), don’t settle, and don’t take everything so seriously just to name a few.

The Baker Mama

Here are a few samplings of ways to start off 2024 in a positive and productive way:

• Evaluate what didn’t work the year prior and resolve to fix it and work to change it. If you hate your job, work on finding a new one. If the flowers in your flower beds drive you crazy, choose different ones. If some current friends aren’t meeting your needs, take a break from them. Everything is worth evaluating.

• Keep growing. Learn something new. Go somewhere new. Do something differently. Take risks. Look at challenging situations as opportunities for growth, not pockets of struggles. I’m not a big risk taker, but this year I hiked (on my novice level) Arches and Canyonlands National Parks. Neither were my idea and I’d just as soon stay back at the hotel spa, but the group of fabulous women I was with are all big hikers and they inspired me. Yay me!

• Filter the noise in your life. Don’t just listen to the loudest voices; listen to the truest ones. Get rid of the Negative Nancys in your life and surround yourself with uplifting and supportive people not toxic and critical ones. I recently lost a family member and sometimes it takes something as tragic and sad as that for you to discover who your true people are and who was there for you.

• Don’t dwell so much on your “perfect” future that you forget to live today. Find ways to be satisfied rather than constantly striving for bigger, better, and more. Realize that “having it all” is not possible.

• Master the art of handling rejection. You will face it so become resilient at it.

• Learn how to say “no” and mean it. Set your boundaries and respect them. If you do, others will too.

• Be genuinely happy for others. Envy makes us blind to the goodness of God and results in sorrow. It can also lead to anger, resentment, and bitterness. Get rid of it in your life.

• Give without expectations. Not everyone has the same heart as you so don’t expect others to do for you what you do for them. This will only lead to constant disappointment. Give more but expect less. As my daughter once so brilliantly reminded me: not everyone sends thank you notes. Give because you want to give and without the expectation of getting one.

• Let grace have the last word. You don’t need to win every argument or always be right.

• Replace “I have to” with “I get to.” So many activities we complain about are things we take for granted and things others are praying for. Realize this. Off the top of my head I think when I say “I have to take a shower today” or “I have to go to the grocery store today;” two things millions in the world would love to “have” to do.

• Turn the pages that need to be turned. This isn’t always easy but may be vital to your happiness.

I recently read the book “The Midnight Library” and its subject matter got me thinking. Thinking about life as I know it and have known it, hopes and dreams, and New Year’s Resolutions.  In brief, the book is about Nora Seed and the regrets that have piled up. Some legit; some just in her mind. But, when she finds herself at the Midnight Library, she’s given a chance to make things right and do things differently through its books. Needless to say, this guilt-ridden cradle Catholic and library/book lover is all over it.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my one beautiful life and am so grateful for my many blessings, but I do have regrets and probably would have made different…and better…choices a few times in my life. Nothing earth shattering or life changing, just ones filled with more wisdom and less chance. More grace and less naiveté. It’s never too late, right?

Come a week or so we might all be feeling regretful. January 10 is the day a British study estimates most of us will have ditched our New Year’s resolutions. Ugh. Are you already a resolution fail?  Maybe we should make New Year’s Intentions instead of Resolutions. The word just sounds more user-friendly and practical.  “I intend to learn or do XYZ” jives with me way more than “I resolve to…” Tumaytoes tohmahtoes perhaps, but whatever works.

Gretchen Rubin

I love happiness guru Gretchen Rubin’s above idea to have a “Ta Da List” to keep you motivated and she also has tips on how to commit to committing and make sure resolutions we set are successful. First off she says, be specific. Don’t just say you want to find more joy or calmness in your life but instead identify what gives you joy or makes you calm and then resolve to do those things. For example, “sign up for tennis lessons” assures you will accomplish the goal of “learn to play tennis.”

And dump the demanding mindset. Seems like our resolutions are often grim or a grind. The more pleasant something sounds, the more likely you’ll do it and feel a sense of accomplishment. “Have lunch once-a-month with friends” will probably get checked off the list long before “lose 20 pounds.”

Experts also suggest setting smaller goals. Rather than saying “I’m going to lose weight this year,” say “I’m going to work on losing 10 pounds between now and March.”  Some also recommend setting monthly goals rather then or in addition to year-long commitments.

Whatever I choose to do or learn this year, I’m going to focus on something “new” instead of something “no way.” I’ll learn something new, go somewhere new, and do something differently. The challenge will be figuring out how to really commit to something.  But, do I really need to? Do I have to?? If I decide to take piano lessons, do I really need to perfect my skill at it? Isn’t it okay to just enjoy learning the basics of something new and then moving on to something else? I’m thinking yes.

Lastly, accept the fact that you aren’t the same person you were one year ago and embrace the new and maybe different you. Remind yourself of your successes and victories and replace that dreaded I “have” to with I “get” to unless the “have to” is health related or essential. Stop wasting energy on people and things that drain your brain, show gratitude, and face the year and your intentions enthusiastically and with confidence. I’m confident you can do it!