Beyond Words

Happy Intercalary Day! Say what? That’s actually just a fancy way of saying Happy Leap Day, which is today, February 29. But you already knew that, right?

But, did you know a non-leap year is called a common year and has 365 days while a leap year has 366? Okay, you knew that too. Did you know, though, that a leap year occurs every four years? Okay fine, you’re on top of that too. But, do you know why? Gotcha? Maybe?

Well, a leap year happens in order to help synchronize the calendar year with the solar year, which is the length of time it takes the earth to complete its orbit around the sun. The calendar we use is called the Gregorian calendar and was put into place by Pope Gregory XIII in 1582. On this calendar, every year divisible by four has an extra day and is called a “Leap Year.” Century years are the exception to the four year rule though, as they must be divisible by 400 to be Leap Years.  This is why the year 2000 was a Leap Year but 1900 wasn’t and why 2400 will be one but not 2100.

But what’s in the name “leap?”

The name is thought to come from the fact that, while a fixed date in the Gregorian calendar normally advances one day of the week from one year to the next, the day of the week in the 12 months following a Leap Year will advance two days, thus “leaping” over one of the days.

But why always in February?

Some historians credit Julius Caesar way back when he took power and reconfigured the then Roman calendar. He aligned the length of a year with the sun, giving each year 365 days and for reasons unknown he left February at 28 days. Others say the month was selected kinda randomly and it just stuck.

Okay, so what happens if you’re born on a Leap Day?

Codes vary state-by-state as to when a leap baby or “leapling” celebrates his or her birthday, but most consider March 1 as the day. Interestingly, there is a 1 in 1,500 chance of being born on a leap day and babies born on one are thought to have special talents according to astrologers.

Other myths and legends about a Leap Year and Leap Day in particular include the Irish “Bachelor’s Day” legend that St. Brigid opened up the gates for women to propose marriage to men on a Leap Day after she struck a deal with St. Patrick as a way to balance the traditional roles of men and women in society, much like a leap day adds balance to the calendar. Boy was she a woman ahead of her time! This tradition is still occasionally observed in England but in neighboring Scotland February 29 is often considered as unlucky as Friday the 13^th.

Coincidentally, Leap Years almost always coincide with U.S. election years, as is the case this year, and often times with Olympic years as well. The next three leap years will be 2024, 2028, and 2032.

If you’re looking for a way to celebrate today’s Leap Day, what better way than with the official Leap Day Cocktail? Invented by bartender Harry Craddock of London’s tony Savoy Hotel in 1928, it is considered a martini-like drink and is said to have been responsible for more proposals than any cocktail ever mixed according to the “Savoy Cocktail Book.”  Here is the original recipe:

Craddock’s Leap Day Cocktail

1 dash lemon juice
2/3 gin
1/6 Grand Marnier
1/6 sweet vermouth

Shake, serve, garnish with a lemon peel.

Enjoy and Happy Leap Day!

As many of you know, Lent starts this Wednesday, Ash Wednesday. That means tomorrow’s “Fat Tuesday” is unofficially the last day to party, parade, and partake in all things pointless. Then on Wednesday, all beads and bets are off and we start our 40 days of fasting, praying, and giving…both the giving of and the giving up.

A few days ago a friend posted an interesting twist on the concept of giving something up courtesy the brilliant and inspiring Father Mike Schmitz. Father Mike suggests giving up something “necessary” rather than something arbitrary. In other words, rather than fast from the arbitrary soda or candy, give up something you necessarily should or something that’s hard to say no to. This could be anything from the constant streaming of social media, smoking, or anything that has a hold on you or that you’re attached to but really shouldn’t be. Yeah it’s easy to give up oranges for Lent, but is that really demonstrating self-denial? Instead, how about snacks between meals or shopping online? On the flip-side, much like New Year’s Resolutions, don’t vow to give up something that is the hardest thing ever per se like “I’m going to clean, exercise, and eat healthy every day during Lent.” Lastly, sometimes it’s better to do something rather than not do something. Do more walking. Give more time or money.

But, I digress from the main reason for writing today.

A week or so ago I was reading my daily meditations and was stunned that they both dealt with being yourself and that dirty little thing called comparison. Ironically I read them soon after I returned from my annual college girls trip; a trip we’ve done once-a-year for 17 years running and that I share with four fabulous and fabulously funny and incredible women. Each time I see them I feel blessed to be counted among such an amazing group of girls. Sometimes I ask myself “why me?” or more importantly, “how me?” Then I remind myself that each of us brings something equally important and vital to the trip table, including me. Still, who doesn’t compare themselves and their lives to those we admire and adore?

So with that in mind, what better thing (among many) to work on giving up for Lent then comparing ourselves to others?

As the passage I read started with, we live in a copycat society in which we often set our sights on being like so-and-so or the next so-and-so as the classic above photo from days gone by of Sophia Lauren and Jayne Mansfield so perfectly depicts. Even someone as beautiful, talented, and lauded as Ms. Lauren fell victim to comparing and contrasting. Someone needed to tell her….and tell all of us…that we all need to just walk our walk, talk our talk, and build our success on authenticity not duplicity. God created each one of us as an original so maybe it’s time we stop trying to be imitations.

There’s nothing wrong with having role models, goals, and ambitions, but when those turn into envy or “I’m not good enough” thoughts, it’s time to re-evaluate. There will always be someone smarter, prettier, richer, and whatever more than you. News flash all you perfect beings: you aren’t perfect. No one is.

We also live in a competitive society however, so if you must compare, why not compare yourself to others who are generous, kind, honest, hard-working, and faith-filled? Rather than thriving on being perfect or complimented, strive to be respected and valued.

Likening ourselves to others is actually so prevalent (thank you social media) that Harvard professor Thomas J. DeLong notes a disturbing trend he calls “comparison obsession.” His analysis shows that everyone from doctors and lawyers to school kids and senior citizens are obsessed with comparing their own achievements against those of others. And not in a good way.

He goes on to say that when you define success based on external rather than internal criteria, you diminish your satisfaction and contentment. Makes sense, right? As long as your life is ruled by keeping up you will probably never keep the inner peace.

Scripture itself warns us of this when it cautions to not become so proud that you look down on others or to become jealous and covet what others have. Envy, after all, is one of the seven deadly sins as it makes us blind to the goodness of God in our lives because we are consumed with what we don’t have. It can also result in sorrow and sadness and even sometimes hate and depression. When we live in a constant state of comparison and envy, we fail to see what God has given us and we might even start to believe He is unfair.  But, who can forget that King Saul tried to dress David up as something he wasn’t before he took on Goliath. David stayed true to himself and the rest is biblical history.

So for the upcoming 40 days of Lent, let’s give up comparing ourselves and our lives to those of others and instead count our blessings and remind ourselves to stay authentic, that we are all uniquely made, and are indeed good enough to just bloom.

“Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.” Sage advice, right?

“An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.”  We’ve all heard that saying too, right? Well in today’s gospel reading its front and center and worth looking at a little closer through the eyes of love.

In the reading from Matthew 5:38, Jesus does indeed utter those words but immediately after says to “offer no resistance to one who is evil” and “when one strikes you on your right cheek, turn the other one as well.”

Yeah right Jesus, we’re going to turn the other cheek and allow someone to not only slap us silly once, but slap us twice. Isn’t there also the ole adage “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me?”

And yet, that is the command is what it is and is summed up simply as “love your enemies.”

I recently came across something that gave me a whole new and different way of looking at this seemingly difficult task. It suggested that when confronted with an enemy or just merely someone who has not been nice to you, to think about how you would go about things if you and that person were seated next to each other at a dinner table and couldn’t leave. How would the conversation go? Would you confront that person? Ignore them? Forgive them? Food for thought, right?

All we need do is turn on the television to witness swaths of enemies going at it. The right and the left. The rich and the poor. The white and the black. The east and the west.  Simple agreement on anything, whether that something may benefit all, is disturbingly near non-existent so an actual love between the factions? Highly unlikely it appears.

But, we are asked to do just that: actually love our enemies. Not just tolerate or accept them, but love them. Yikes! (Funny how this pops up right after Valentine’s Day.) Think about it though and perhaps reverse the scenario. Say someone considers you their enemy but instead of treating you as such and confirming the two of your “enemy-ness,” they treat you with love and kindness. Yes, at first you’d probably think it was all for show or flat out fake, but it would also confuse you and maybe, just maybe remove the negative energy the hatred has been breeding.

In marital arts, this concept is called “aikido,” which is basically absorbing the aggressive and negative energy of your opponent until it is rendered useless. You can implement this strategy in your everyday life by turning your enemy’s negativity back on him and respond to his insults with gratitude or better yet, a compliment.

American biblical scholar and theologian Walter Wink agrees with this idea. He points out that it has nothing to do with passivity in the face of evil but rather, the embodiment of a provocative and nonviolent way of conquering evil through love.

This is exactly what Jesus did when, upon being hung on the cross said, “Forgive them Father, for they do not know what they are doing.” If He can love His enemies with His dying breaths and at the hands of those who sentenced him to an unjustly death, can’t we do the same? That enemy is waiting for you at the dinner table.

Valentine’s Day may have come and gone, but shouldn’t its message of love stick around all year? Long after the roses have died, the cards have been tossed or saved, and candies have been eaten, the love behind them should not similarly disappear. That’s how St. Valentine would have wanted it and that’s how he lived. Yes, there was a real man really named Valentine and maybe it’s time to learn about him and why we even have a Valentine’s Day. Consider this blog my way of keeping his message of love alive long past February 14.

Valentine was a third century priest in third century Rome. (Call me crazy but it’s my personal opinion that it’s quite fitting that the Saint of Love comes from Italy!) During that time, Claudius II was emperor and at some point decided that single men made better soldiers than those who were married. He outlawed marriage for young men in hopes of building a stronger military but Valentine strongly believed people should get married and thought the decree was unfair so he continued to secretly marry young couples. When Claudius found out about this, he sentenced Valentine to prison.

While imprisoned, Valentine was relentlessly asked to renounce his actions and his faith but he refused. Sent to another prison, Valentine is said to have written little messages to family and friends to let them know he was well and that he loved them. He was also befriended by a guard whose daughter was blind. Valentine would preach to and pray with the guard, who had asked Valentine to heal his daughter’s sight. It is said that just days before his execution, Valentine prayed over the girl, touched her eyes, and she regained her eyesight. Word traveled fast, and upon hearing about the miracle, many turned to Christianity. Claudius was not amused or impressed and quickly condemned Valentine to death. The night before his execution, Valentine wrote to the young girl and signed it, “From your Valentine.” The phrase became popular among lovers even back then, and today is still used on cards everywhere. Stoned and beheaded on February 14, 269, Valentine was buried near Rome and a Basilica was erected in his honor.

Not only is Valentine’s Day a holiday in the U.S., it’s celebrated worldwide. In Japan, chocolate is considered even more sacred and “valentine-ish” than even stateside while in Denmark flowers are also given to loved ones on the holiday. In both Italy and Germany it’s strictly an adult and “lovers only” holiday while Mexico officially calls it the “Day of Love and Friendship.” St. Valentine is considered the Patron Saint of Spring in Slovenia but perhaps the holiday is celebrated in the most grandest of ways in France. In Paris, known as the “City of Love,” couples used to attach locks on the Pont des Arts Bridge and throw keys into the River Seine on Valentine’s Day, but the practice was halted due to the weight of the locks and their potential damage to the historic bridge.  The French village of St. Valentin is decked in flowers on Valentine’s Day and is a popular destination for weddings, vow renewals, and engagements. How lovely would that be?!

St. Valentine is the Patron Saint of love, young people, and happy marriages, which makes me happy being that I was married a day later on February 15. Considering the fact that Valentine saw to it that couples were united in marriage, it makes perfect sense that the holiday of love is named after him. He would have loved it!

Valentine’s favorite words were “Love one another as I have loved you” and I’m thinking they’re pretty good words for all of us to live by. On Valentine’s Day and every day.