Beyond Words

It’s hard to believe May is almost upon us. I swear it feels like we were just celebrating Valentine’s Day but here we are gazing ahead to Memorial Day. Which means, according to fashion etiquette of the golden age, you can start wearing white again. But is that still true or is it now considered a little white lie?

Those in the south have long said “hay-ull no” if asked about the rule and you could say the above Bergdorf-Goodman photo perfectly epitomizes their attitude about this. If there’s any place where societal rules are adhered to though, it’s the south but etiquette experts and even “Southern Living” readers agree that wearing white year-round is completely acceptable. It’s more about fabric and style than color.

What’s more yummy than winter white corduroy, wool pants, a cashmere sweater, or a down puffer when things are white as snow in many places? I’m pretty sure those in New England are also raising their hands and waving their white flags to the old-fashioned fashion rule. Come spring and summer, bring out those breezy white linen blouses, flattering white jeans, and flowy white dresses.

Shoes perhaps bring up a small dilemma. I for one steer away from white shoes in the winter although I may slip on a pair of cream flats if the weather and occasion permit. Purses and bags are the same. I do have a winter white purse I absolutely love and carry it throughout the year, depending on my mood.

For many decades this wasn’t the case. There seemed to be a hard-fast Memorial Day and Labor Day rule fashionistas lived by. No white after Labor Day and no white before Memorial Day. In the south and southwest however, it can still be extremely hot in September and even October. I remember many a Halloween when our poor little daughter sweated in her costume.

Thankfully, a new thought arose. Excuse the pun…

Today anyone who wants a “no white” rule favors Easter being the start date for wearing white without worrying about breaking any said rules. Amen to that! When you think about it, it makes sense. Easter for many is the unofficial dawning of spring, new life, and white is even its official color as it represents purity and grace. If it’s okay to don pastel dresses and Easter bonnets then, why not white ones too?

So how did all this start? Although a thing of the past, the once unbendable rule has a very distinguished past.

It all started primarily in the 19^th and early 20^th centuries among the wealthy in New York City as a way to signify social class and seasonal change. Come Memorial Day, society would flock en masse from the city to the country and seaside and their heavier city clothes were left behind. Wardrobes were kept separate and come fall, summer resort clothes were put away and stored until next year, making way for the more formal city clothes.

But as Bob Dylan so beautifully sang, the times they are a changing. In fact, they’ve changed. That rule now seems not only impractical but outdated. Yeah, compliance and loyalty to it may exist somewhere, but in general the weight of the fabric and the style of the garment are more important than the color.

Thankfully Wimbledon is played in July as the historic and celebrated tennis tournament still requires players to wear almost entirely white clothing as part of its strict dress code. This all-white rule was mandated in 1870 as a way to minimize the visibility of sweat stains, which were considered improper at the time.

Much like the Masters golf tournament, I actually commend Wimbledon for remaining steadfast on keeping long-standing traditions, which reflect its status as the oldest and what many consider the most prestigious Grand Slam event. I’ve been blessed to attend Wimbledon and can say it is indeed pretty special. And yes, I wore white.

It’s reported that Coco Chanel began wearing white all year in the 1920s and even Wimbledon has given in, if just a wee bit. The All-England Lawn Tennis Club enforces specific guidelines regarding players’ attire including an “almost entirely white” main color but off white or cream are not allowed. Somewhat new is that a single trim of color is allowed, but no wider than 1 cm. In addition, logos can’t form a solid mass of color.

Surprisingly, this rule wasn’t always strictly enforced, with players wearing other colors until 1962. Over the years, the dress code has become stricter compared to other Grand Slams, where almost anything goes. I tip my white hat to Wimbledon for remaining unique in its commitment to this traditional dress code, emphasizing elegance and decorum in the sport.

I guess that’s what it all comes down to even when debating the no white in the winter fashion rule. Keep it clean, tasteful, cool, classic, and polished. Those will forever and always be the “white” choices.

Today, Holy Thursday, Jesus flips the master-slave dynamic on its head. Knowing His time was coming, He didn’t do His favorite things but instead bent down to do the work that was so lowly that only the lowest of the low were expected to do it: He washed feet. Amazing, right? The King of Kings bent down and gave what we would today call a pedi even though He knew that the next day He would be crucified. That vision of Master serving others brings to mind a wonderful tale of the folded napkin.

Raise your hand if your familiar with the ancient Jewish mealtime tradition often referred to as the “folded napkin?” I love both history and etiquette so whether fictional or true, it fascinates me. It goes way deeper than history and etiquette though.

Stay with me.

In order to understand the significance of the folded napkin, you have to understand the mealtime Hebrew tradition many believe goes waaaaay back.

Let’s set the scene by setting a perfect table, which a servant would make sure was exactly how the master wanted it. During meals, the master would be served and while he ate, the servant would wait, just out of sight, until the master had finished eating.

When the master was done eating, he would rise from the table; wipe his fingers and face, and then wad up the napkin and toss it onto the table. The servant would then know to clear the table for in those days, a wadded napkin meant, “I’m done.”

But if the master got up from the table, folded his napkin, and laid it beside his plate, the servant would not touch or clear the table because a folded napkin meant, “I’m coming back!’”

Fast forward to the Resurrection.

The Gospel of John (20:7) tells us that a napkin in Jewish burial tradition was placed over the face of Jesus, but upon entering the tomb after His crucifixion, not only was the tomb empty, the napkin wasn’t thrown aside like His other clothing but rather neatly folded and by itself.

Early that Resurrection Sunday morning, Mary Magdalene came to the tomb and found that the stone had been rolled away from the entrance. She ran and found Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved. She said, “They have taken the Lord’s body out of the tomb and I don’t know where they have put him!” Peter and the other disciple ran to the tomb to see, looked in, and saw that the cloth that had covered Jesus’ head was folded up and lying to the side.

It’s such a small detail, but when you stop to think about it, you realize nothing in Scripture is accidental. If someone had stolen Jesus’ body, they probably wouldn’t have taken the time to tidy up and neatly fold his head cover. This tells us that Jesus Himself folded it, which not only emphasizes the orderliness of the Resurrection but that He rose intentionally.

Was that important? Absolutely!

Is it powerful and significant? Yes!

The folded napkin wasn’t just a random detail; it was a message.

So, what is the meaning for us here?

He’s coming back!

Like the servant, stay alert and ready. Like His followers, be ready to tackle the evil out in the world all while ready and willing to grow in our faith. The folded napkin also reminds us that our time on earth is temporary. Let’s all vow to make it count. And if nothing else, practice proper etiquette and manners, treat others with respect, and know He is coming back!

This is a test. Please ignore.