Sorry if this offends anyone, but I feel this way and couldn’t resist.
It’s been said that what you will probably be thinking about on your death bed is what you should be working on daily, but we all tend to get caught up in that little thing called life and forget what living is truly all about…until we are faced with that big thing called death.
Bonnie Ware is a nurse who spent several years working on relieving and preventing the suffering of patients, caring for them in the last 12 weeks of their lives.
Ware recorded her patients’ dying epiphanies in a blog called “Inspiration and Chai,” which created so much attention it prompted her to write a book titled “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.”
She writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives and how the rest of us might learn from their wisdom. “When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again,” she said.
Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
“This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.”
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but all of the men deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
“Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
“This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called comfort of familiarity overflowed into their emotions as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”
Do any of these ring true with you? What would your biggest regret be if this was your last day of life? Maybe today is the day to forget about the regrets of the past and start living the dreams of the present and future.
Perfectly posed in the middle
Watching the Emmy’s a few nights ago, I was struck by how similarly posed almost all of the red carpet actresses were as they stood in front of photographers and fans. Its seems even the youngest and most novice of “stars” knew just how to bend their knee, tilt their head, and “smize” with their eyes. They are not alone. In fact, life today seems like one big photo op thanks to ever present cameras in our ever present smart phones.
Take a look at someone’s Facebook, Instagram, or Tumblr account and you’ll see similar poses: hand on hip, said hip to the side, and hair just so. Looking good in a photo has gone big time thanks to social media, but just because you look good in the mirror doesn’t mean you’ll look good in a photo later. And we all know how humiliating an unflattering picture can be, especially if it ends up in the wrong hands or on your timeline!
So, how does one look their best when being photographed? First of all it’s important to note there’s a difference between being photogenic and being attractive and that you don’t necessarily have to be attractive to be photogenic. Whether you’re being photographed by a famous photographer or a friend with an IPhone, here are some tried and true measures you can incorporate into your next pose:
1. Think before you dress. Almost any outing these days is photographed, so always wear something you know is flattering. Pick a top or dress with an interesting neckline and a bold color usually photographs better than black or white. However, all one color is also a good idea.
2. Once you’re dressed and you’ve arrived, refuse to ever be photographed from below, as it will make you look much heavier, and avoid being photographed sitting down if possible. If you do get caught sitting down, quickly cross your legs at your ankles before being snapped.
3. If you’re being photographed outside, avoid direct sunlight as it’s unflattering color-wise and squinting makes your jawline look bigger than it is. Late afternoon or early evening are the best times for outdoor photos.
4. If you’re being photographed in a group, try to get on the end, as it’s the most flattering spot.
5. Always remember that whatever is closest to the camera will look bigger!
Now for that all important pose:
Angle your chin slightly down and forward, even though it may feel slightly awkward.
When smiling, put your tongue on the roof of your mouth. (Really! Even Heidi Klum supposedly does this!)
Turn your body three-quarters to the camera (never head on…see photos above!)
Place one foot behind the other and bend the forward leg at the knee.
Point your toe to the camera and place your weight on your back foot.
Put your hand on your hip on the same side of the bended leg.
That’s it! Now you are red carpet ready! Say “cheese!”
Fall has officially arrived, at least according to the calendar and all the ginormous September fashion magazines! I’m seriously tired of my spring and summer clothes and can’t wait to pull out my sweaters (albeit cotton ones!), pants and boots. For the most part, I’ll wear what I wore last year and the year before that, but I also like to add a touch of what’s new this season.
Photos I post here are often of the designer type, only because that’s what shown on runways. But, don’t panic! Keep in mind that these trends can be found duplicated in department stores and even discount stores coast-to-coast. You don’t have to spend a pretty penny on something as frivolous as pink fur or silver oxford shoes and as I’ve blogged many times before, I don’t recommend doing so! Also keep in mind that these new items, in my mind, are meant to go along with the tried and true classics: little black dresses, cashmere, riding boots, pashminas, etc. Let’s not totally reinvent the fashion wheel!
So here’s my “September issue” of what’s hot this fall. Let me know whether you love it, or just as soon leave it! Have fun!
Chic Sweatshirts (my daughter will love this, as she’s already sporting one of the Lichtenberg hoodies!)
Pretty in Pink
She’s so blue
Grey is the new black
Moto/Rocker chic (think leather mixed with something feminine)
Cammo (call it the “Ducky Dynasty” influence. Uncle Si must be so proud!)
Foulard print (think neckties!)
Two-tone and patch-work denim
Knee high and Over-the-knee boots
Booties of all kinds!
Curved Heels (I’m not a fan but they are everywhere!)
Sweet and Feminine
Rules to Dress By
Fashion is one of my favorite past-times, but, even if it’s not one of yours, there are some tried and true “rules to dress by” that we should all follow, regardless of budget or style. They are simple and they are fool-proof.
Here are my top 10 “Rules to Dress By:”
Do you have any “rules to dress by” that you can share? I’d love to hear them!