Beyond Words

It’s hard to believe May is almost upon us. I swear it feels like we were just celebrating Valentine’s Day but here we are gazing ahead to Memorial Day. Which means, according to fashion etiquette of the golden age, you can start wearing white again. But is that still true or is it now considered a little white lie?

Those in the south have long said “hay-ull no” if asked about the rule and you could say the above Bergdorf-Goodman photo perfectly epitomizes their attitude about this. If there’s any place where societal rules are adhered to though, it’s the south but etiquette experts and even “Southern Living” readers agree that wearing white year-round is completely acceptable. It’s more about fabric and style than color.

What’s more yummy than winter white corduroy, wool pants, a cashmere sweater, or a down puffer when things are white as snow in many places? I’m pretty sure those in New England are also raising their hands and waving their white flags to the old-fashioned fashion rule. Come spring and summer, bring out those breezy white linen blouses, flattering white jeans, and flowy white dresses.

Shoes perhaps bring up a small dilemma. I for one steer away from white shoes in the winter although I may slip on a pair of cream flats if the weather and occasion permit. Purses and bags are the same. I do have a winter white purse I absolutely love and carry it throughout the year, depending on my mood.

For many decades this wasn’t the case. There seemed to be a hard-fast Memorial Day and Labor Day rule fashionistas lived by. No white after Labor Day and no white before Memorial Day. In the south and southwest however, it can still be extremely hot in September and even October. I remember many a Halloween when our poor little daughter sweated in her costume.

Thankfully, a new thought arose. Excuse the pun…

Today anyone who wants a “no white” rule favors Easter being the start date for wearing white without worrying about breaking any said rules. Amen to that! When you think about it, it makes sense. Easter for many is the unofficial dawning of spring, new life, and white is even its official color as it represents purity and grace. If it’s okay to don pastel dresses and Easter bonnets then, why not white ones too?

So how did all this start? Although a thing of the past, the once unbendable rule has a very distinguished past.

It all started primarily in the 19^th and early 20^th centuries among the wealthy in New York City as a way to signify social class and seasonal change. Come Memorial Day, society would flock en masse from the city to the country and seaside and their heavier city clothes were left behind. Wardrobes were kept separate and come fall, summer resort clothes were put away and stored until next year, making way for the more formal city clothes.

But as Bob Dylan so beautifully sang, the times they are a changing. In fact, they’ve changed. That rule now seems not only impractical but outdated. Yeah, compliance and loyalty to it may exist somewhere, but in general the weight of the fabric and the style of the garment are more important than the color.

Thankfully Wimbledon is played in July as the historic and celebrated tennis tournament still requires players to wear almost entirely white clothing as part of its strict dress code. This all-white rule was mandated in 1870 as a way to minimize the visibility of sweat stains, which were considered improper at the time.

Much like the Masters golf tournament, I actually commend Wimbledon for remaining steadfast on keeping long-standing traditions, which reflect its status as the oldest and what many consider the most prestigious Grand Slam event. I’ve been blessed to attend Wimbledon and can say it is indeed pretty special. And yes, I wore white.

It’s reported that Coco Chanel began wearing white all year in the 1920s and even Wimbledon has given in, if just a wee bit. The All-England Lawn Tennis Club enforces specific guidelines regarding players’ attire including an “almost entirely white” main color but off white or cream are not allowed. Somewhat new is that a single trim of color is allowed, but no wider than 1 cm. In addition, logos can’t form a solid mass of color.

Surprisingly, this rule wasn’t always strictly enforced, with players wearing other colors until 1962. Over the years, the dress code has become stricter compared to other Grand Slams, where almost anything goes. I tip my white hat to Wimbledon for remaining unique in its commitment to this traditional dress code, emphasizing elegance and decorum in the sport.

I guess that’s what it all comes down to even when debating the no white in the winter fashion rule. Keep it clean, tasteful, cool, classic, and polished. Those will forever and always be the “white” choices.

Today, Holy Thursday, Jesus flips the master-slave dynamic on its head. Knowing His time was coming, He didn’t do His favorite things but instead bent down to do the work that was so lowly that only the lowest of the low were expected to do it: He washed feet. Amazing, right? The King of Kings bent down and gave what we would today call a pedi even though He knew that the next day He would be crucified. That vision of Master serving others brings to mind a wonderful tale of the folded napkin.

Raise your hand if your familiar with the ancient Jewish mealtime tradition often referred to as the “folded napkin?” I love both history and etiquette so whether fictional or true, it fascinates me. It goes way deeper than history and etiquette though.

Stay with me.

In order to understand the significance of the folded napkin, you have to understand the mealtime Hebrew tradition many believe goes waaaaay back.

Let’s set the scene by setting a perfect table, which a servant would make sure was exactly how the master wanted it. During meals, the master would be served and while he ate, the servant would wait, just out of sight, until the master had finished eating.

When the master was done eating, he would rise from the table; wipe his fingers and face, and then wad up the napkin and toss it onto the table. The servant would then know to clear the table for in those days, a wadded napkin meant, “I’m done.”

But if the master got up from the table, folded his napkin, and laid it beside his plate, the servant would not touch or clear the table because a folded napkin meant, “I’m coming back!’”

Fast forward to the Resurrection.

The Gospel of John (20:7) tells us that a napkin in Jewish burial tradition was placed over the face of Jesus, but upon entering the tomb after His crucifixion, not only was the tomb empty, the napkin wasn’t thrown aside like His other clothing but rather neatly folded and by itself.

Early that Resurrection Sunday morning, Mary Magdalene came to the tomb and found that the stone had been rolled away from the entrance. She ran and found Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved. She said, “They have taken the Lord’s body out of the tomb and I don’t know where they have put him!” Peter and the other disciple ran to the tomb to see, looked in, and saw that the cloth that had covered Jesus’ head was folded up and lying to the side.

It’s such a small detail, but when you stop to think about it, you realize nothing in Scripture is accidental. If someone had stolen Jesus’ body, they probably wouldn’t have taken the time to tidy up and neatly fold his head cover. This tells us that Jesus Himself folded it, which not only emphasizes the orderliness of the Resurrection but that He rose intentionally.

Was that important? Absolutely!

Is it powerful and significant? Yes!

The folded napkin wasn’t just a random detail; it was a message.

So, what is the meaning for us here?

He’s coming back!

Like the servant, stay alert and ready. Like His followers, be ready to tackle the evil out in the world all while ready and willing to grow in our faith. The folded napkin also reminds us that our time on earth is temporary. Let’s all vow to make it count. And if nothing else, practice proper etiquette and manners, treat others with respect, and know He is coming back!

This is a test. Please ignore.

Easter is right around the corner and Palm Sunday is this Sunday. I’d like to share with you two little seasonal tales I just love and hope you do too.

The first one fits in perfectly with Palm Sunday and is the tale of the donkey’s cross. It’s a tale and tail per se. Legend has it that a farmer near Jerusalem owned a donkey far too small to do the work he was needed for. The sad farmer felt he couldn’t afford to feed an animal with no true benefit to him so at dinner that evening, he told his family he was going to have to get rid of the donkey. His children, who loved the animal, begged him to sell it rather than harm it. The farmer questioned their request.

“It’s wrong to sell an animal that can’t do a day’s work,” he told them. His oldest daughter had an idea. “Father, tie the donkey to a tree on the road to town and offer it to anyone who wants to take it for free. The next morning, that’s what the father did.

Before long, two men approached him and asked if they could have the donkey. The farmer warned them that it could carry almost nothing but the men told him, “Jesus of Nazareth has a need for it.” This baffled the farmer as he couldn’t imagine what a great man like Jesus would want with such a worthless donkey but he agreed and handed the donkey over to them.

The men took the animal to Jesus, who gently stroked the donkey’s face and then mounted it and rode away. A few days later, on what is now called Palm Sunday, Jesus led his followers into Jerusalem riding on the back of his new beloved donkey. It was a match made in heaven! Literally!

The donkey equally loved his kind master and later followed him to Calvary. Grief-stricken by the sight of Jesus on the cross, the donkey turned away but couldn’t leave. It was then that a shadow of the cross fell upon the shoulders and back of the donkey, and there it stayed. To this day, all donkeys bear a sign of the cross on their backs. Cross my heart! Check it out for yourself if you don’t believe. Believe!

Another fun legend is that of pine trees. The beloved lore has it that just before Easter, pine trees start their new growth. This of course depends on the weather and health of the tree, but when all factors are suitable, the tallest branch of the tree shoots forth and forms the shape of a cross. If you’re lucky enough to have pine trees where you are, look up and look in the tree and hopefully you’ll not only see the highest cross, but many smaller ones scattered throughout the tree. I love pine trees and I love this story. Look up!

Easter is right around the corner and Palm Sunday is this Sunday. I’d like to share with you two little seasonal tales I just love and hope you do too.

The first one fits in perfectly with Palm Sunday and is the tale of the donkey’s cross. It’s a tale and tail per se. Legend has it that a farmer near Jerusalem owned a donkey far too small to do the work he was needed for. The sad farmer felt he couldn’t afford to feed an animal with no true benefit to him so at dinner that evening, he told his family he was going to have to get rid of the donkey. His children, who loved the animal, begged him to sell it rather than harm it. The farmer questioned their request.

“It’s wrong to sell an animal that can’t do a day’s work,” he told them. His oldest daughter had an idea. “Father, tie the donkey to a tree on the road to town and offer it to anyone who wants to take it for free. The next morning, that’s what the father did.

Before long, two men approached him and asked if they could have the donkey. The farmer warned them that it could carry almost nothing but the men told him, “Jesus of Nazareth has a need for it.” This baffled the farmer as he couldn’t imagine what a great man like Jesus would want with such a worthless donkey but he agreed and handed the donkey over to them.

The men took the animal to Jesus, who gently stroked the donkey’s face and then mounted it and rode away. A few days later, on what is now called Palm Sunday, Jesus led his followers into Jerusalem riding on the back of his new beloved donkey. It was a match made in heaven! Literally!

The donkey equally loved his kind master and later followed him to Calvary. Grief-stricken by the sight of Jesus on the cross, the donkey turned away but couldn’t leave. It was then that a shadow of the cross fell upon the shoulders and back of the donkey, and there it stayed. To this day, all donkeys bear a sign of the cross on their backs. Cross my heart! Check it out for yourself if you don’t believe. Believe!

Another fun legend is that of pine trees. The beloved lore has it that just before Easter, pine trees start their new growth. This of course depends on the weather and health of the tree, but when all factors are suitable, the tallest branch of the tree shoots forth and forms the shape of a cross. If you’re lucky enough to have pine trees where you are, look up and look in the tree and hopefully you’ll not only see the highest cross, but many smaller ones scattered throughout the tree. I love pine trees and I love this story. Look up!

Easter is right around the corner and Palm Sunday is this Sunday. I’d like to share with you two little seasonal tales I just love and hope you do too.

The first one fits in perfectly with Palm Sunday and is the tale of the donkey’s cross. It’s a tale and tail per se. Legend has it that a farmer near Jerusalem owned a donkey far too small to do the work he was needed for. The sad farmer felt he couldn’t afford to feed an animal with no true benefit to him so at dinner that evening, he told his family he was going to have to get rid of the donkey. His children, who loved the animal, begged him to sell it rather than harm it. The farmer questioned their request.

“It’s wrong to sell an animal that can’t do a day’s work,” he told them. His oldest daughter had an idea. “Father, tie the donkey to a tree on the road to town and offer it to anyone who wants to take it for free. The next morning, that’s what the father did.

Before long, two men approached him and asked if they could have the donkey. The farmer warned them that it could carry almost nothing but the men told him, “Jesus of Nazareth has a need for it.” This baffled the farmer as he couldn’t imagine what a great man like Jesus would want with such a worthless donkey but he agreed and handed the donkey over to them.

The men took the animal to Jesus, who gently stroked the donkey’s face and then mounted it and rode away. A few days later, on what is now called Palm Sunday, Jesus led his followers into Jerusalem riding on the back of his new beloved donkey. It was a match made in heaven! Literally!

The donkey equally loved his kind master and later followed him to Calvary. Grief-stricken by the sight of Jesus on the cross, the donkey turned away but couldn’t leave. It was then that a shadow of the cross fell upon the shoulders and back of the donkey, and there it stayed. To this day, all donkeys bear a sign of the cross on their backs. Cross my heart! Check it out for yourself if you don’t believe. Believe!

Another fun legend is that of pine trees. The beloved lore has it that just before Easter, pine trees start their new growth. This of course depends on the weather and health of the tree, but when all factors are suitable, the tallest branch of the tree shoots forth and forms the shape of a cross. If you’re lucky enough to have pine trees where you are, look up and look in the tree and hopefully you’ll not only see the highest cross, but many smaller ones scattered throughout the tree. I love pine trees and I love this story. Look up!

For someone who loves a good candle, diffuser oil, lotion, Easter Lillies, coffee brewing, and even Play-Do, today is a special day. It’s “National Fragrance Day!” I know, I didn’t know this myself until yesterday but I love a “pretend” holiday and a love a good scent so here we are. Candles and candles aside, today I’m focusing on a personal treasured fragrance: perfume.

I love perfume and wear it daily, whether I’m going golfing or going to Buckingham Palace. (Keep it light or not at all though if you’re flying somewhere. There’s nothing worse than sitting next to someone on a plane and they’re drenched in a scent you don’t care for.) You could say it’s how I was raised.

One of my fondest childhood memories is of my mom and dad getting ready to go out. They always got dressed up and my mom always wore perfume. Joy and L’air du Temps were her favorites and to this day they’ll always remind me of her. We were a solid middle class Hispanic family so perfume was considered very special and a luxury. Still, my mom made it a point to always have some on hand and so do I. Back then we got it for gifts and gave it for gifts and I’ve carried on that tradition all these years later.

“I just adore fragrance. I can’t leave the house without putting on a scent, even when I’m at my most minimal and rugged. I have a bottle of perfume in every handbag.”

Sarah Jessica Parker

I’m with you Carrie Bradshaw and Kate Middleton might also agree.

I love that on her wedding day to Prince William, the Duchess of Cambridge wore the English perfume “Bluebell.” And while most of us can’t afford a custom Alexander McQueen gown like Kate’s, we can afford a royal-approved scent and who doesn’t want to smell like a princess and have that special “something blue” to wear on her wedding day? Another wedding tip I read was to wear a new perfume on your wedding day and then your hubby will always think of that special day when you wear it again.

I don’t know if “Bluebell” is Kate’s signature scent, but I do know that min is Chanel’s “Coco Mademoiselle.” I’ve worn it for years and never tire of it. I do however, like other scents and they sit on a crystal cake stand in my closet. Some of my other favorites include Bradshaw’s perfectly named “Lovely,” Caudalie’s “The Des Vignes,” “Must de Cartier,” and Elizabeth Arden’s “White Linen.” I’ve also discovered Baccarat’s “Rouge 540” but boy is it pricey!

If I could, I’d probably also have Ralph Lauren’s original square red-bottled fragrance as it will forever remind me of college but they just don’t make it anymore. “Sweet Honesty,” “Jovan Musk,” and Clinique’s “Aromatics” will forever bring back my high school days and then there’s “Charlie,” “White Shoulders,” and “Halston,” all of which had their hey-days but I never wore any of them. Perfume has a funny way of lingering in our memories. Youd could say it’s almost spiritual.

Well, there you have it, it’s not only spiritual it’s biblical!

Just a sniff of a cologne raises our scent of smell. I recently read Author Rita Snowden’s story about visiting a small village in Dover England. While sitting in an outdoor café, she picked up the most beautiful of scents and later learned that what she smelled was the villagers themselves, most of who worked in a nearby perfume factory. If you love perfume and reading, I highly recommend the book “The Perfume Collector” by Kathleen Tessaro. Great read and great history.

How those factory fumes stayed on the workers should come as no surprise as perfume is activated by body heat. For long-lasting results, spray some on pulse points like your wrist, neck, behind your knees, and on your ankles. If you want a more subtle scent, spray it on your hair and clothing. But keep in mind that just because a scent smells wonderful on someone doesn’t mean it will smell the same on you. If you’re opting for something new, try a travel size for starters.

Okay, but when choosing a scent, what’s up with cologne, perfume, and eau de toilette? Basically, they are all variations of the potency of the fragrance. The higher the concentration of the oil in them, the more staying power and usually the higher price. Parfum boasts the highest concentration of oil, followed by Eau de Toilette, and then cologne, which got its name from the German city in which it was first created.

As for the word “perfume,” it comes from the Latin “per fumus,” which means “through smoke.” The first modern perfume is thought to have been made at the command of Queen Elizabeth of Hungary in 1370. France soon became the center of perfume making but perfumes were used primarily by royalty and the wealth to mask body odors. King Louis XV, Madame de Pompadour, and even Napoleon picked up on it all but it wasn’t until the 19^th century that modern fragrances really developed and hit the mass market.

The now classic Chanel No. 5 was created and launched by Coco Chanel and the rest is perfume history. I love checking out creative and pretty perfume bottles and none is more classic than the simple square bottle of Chanel No. 5 and I still have one from a visit to Paris. I will never get rid of it. The bottle is famous but the story behind it and its name is just as intriguing.

From an early age, the number 5 was important to French orphan Gabrielle Chanel. She attended daily prayer at her convent-run orphanage in a circular pattern that repeated the number five and she had an affinity for the five-petal rose that was found in the abbey’s gardens and surrounding hillsides.

Years later and then a high-end fashion designer, “Coco” Chanel was presented with small glass vials containing sample selections to be made into a perfume under her name. The vials were numbered 1 to 5 and 20 to 24 and she chose the fifth vial.

She later told her master perfumer, “I present my dress collections on the fifth of May and the fifth month of the year, so we will let this sample number five keep the name it has.”

She was just as instrumental in the iconic bottle’s design, envisioning a design opposite of the elaborate crystal fragrance bottles popularized by Lalique and Baccarat. Instead, her bottle would be “pure transparency…simple bottles adorned only by precious teardrops of perfume.” The bottle has remained the same since redesigned in 1924.

One of my friends, who I’ve known since our daughters were in preschool, has worn the same scent for as long as I’ve known her. If I close my eyes I can smell it, if I smelled it somewhere I would look for her, and if she wore any other fragrance, I would pitch a fit.

Self-expression is at an all-time high these days, and fragrance is a quick way to make a statement and unveil your style. It becomes a reflection of a personal choice but unlike designer bags and shoes, one has to get close to you to notice it. It’s understated yet rich if done right. You truly make a statement on what perfume you choose and spritz on.

That’s how significant perfume can be. There’s a reason the global fragrance market is worth almost $90 billion and the industry is truly considered liquid assets. Smells like a winner to me.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day everyone! We are all a wee bit Irish today and I’m guessing you are wearing green as you read this as we all honor the land of leprechauns, fabulous golf, U2, step dancing, Guinness, shamrocks, Irish Coffee, and St. Patrick. But who was the saint named Patrick and why do we celebrate him in such a big way?

What A Saint

Forever tied to Ireland, Patrick wasn’t born on the Emerald Isle but in Britain. When he was 16, young Patrick was kidnapped by Irish raiders who took him to Ireland and sold him as a slave. He spent many years there herding sheep and turning to God in prayer. He escaped when he was 22 and made his way back to England where he spent 12 years in a monastery. Legend has it that he had a dream in which the people of Ireland were calling him back. The dream is said to have been the voice of God encouraging him to spread Christianity across Ireland and convert the pagans.

Patrick returned to Ireland and began preaching the gospel, building churches, and converting many. Born of wealth, Patrick lived in poverty and suffered greatly until he died on March 17, 461. He is said to be buried in Down Cathedral in the County of Down in Ireland and ironically, St. Patrick’s Day is celebrated on the day he died, not on his birthday.

Luck of the Irish

My favorite part of the St. Patrick story is that he used the shamrock as a way to teach the Holy Trinity. The simple green plant grows abundantly in Ireland so he cleverly used it to explain the trinity: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. His idea was so convincing that even pagan rulers converted to Christianity.

The shamrock has three leaves and is considered a clover plant but what is the difference between it and the four-leaf clover? The latter is the result of a mutation in the clover plant that causes it to sprout four leaves instead of the normal three. These four-leaf wonders are very rare and is why they are considered a universal symbol of good luck.

Patrick loved incorporating other traditional rituals in his lessons for both simplicity and proof. Because fire was sacred to the Irish, Patrick superimposed a sun onto a Christian cross. Today this cross, called a Celtic cross, is one of Christianity’s most popular.

Another cross, St. Patrick’s Cross of Ireland, also makes up part of the Union Jack, the flag of the United Kingdom. When you look at the flag, you can see it is actually made up of three different crosses:  St. George’s red Cross of England, St. Andrew’s white Cross of Scotland, and St. Patrick’s red one. And to be clear, the UK is considered all of Great Britain – England, Scotland, and Wales – with the addition of Northern Ireland. Ireland is considered its own republic.

Funny thing is, as much as a celebration and party St. Patrick’s Day is today, from 1903-1970 it was considered a religious holiday according to Irish law, which required pubs remain closed for the day. Squeal! The law was reclassified as a national holiday in 1970, paving the way for the opening of drinking establishment doors and green beer. In the Diocese of Ireland however, it is still considered a Holy Day of Obligation, meaning Catholics are obligated to attend mass and receive the Blessed Sacrament.

Stateside, it all started as a political holiday when American Irish immigrants organized themselves and commemorated St. Patrick with annual parades and festivities to demonstrate their political and social might. Ironically, there are more Irish in the U.S. than in Ireland! There are an estimated 34 million Americans who claim Irish ancestry but the population of Ireland is only 4.2 million.

St. Patrick today, along with St. Nicholas and St. Valentine, is one of Christianity’s most widely known figures and his prayers can be found among all walks of life. St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York City is one of the city’s most popular tourist attractions and the Fifth Avenue Neo-Gothic icon ranks right up there with the Statue of Liberty and the Empire State Building. And, in case you’re wondering, St. Patrick isn’t only revered by Catholics. He is honored with a feast day in the Episcopal Church and is also venerated by the Orthodox Church.

Parades and festivals will happen in many places today, but perhaps the ones in New York, Boston, and Chicago rank highest. Surprisingly, St. Patrick’s Day is also a big event in Dallas. As with everything in Texas, it is done in a very big way in Big D! In Chicago, the Chicago River is colored green and green beer and whiskey flow abundantly throughout the city. And it’s WHISKEY, not WHISKY. Irish spell the scotch with an added “e,” while their Scottish neighbors omit the extra vowel. American-made whiskeys also add the “e.”

Lastly, the color green. It’ll be everywhere you look today and be ready to get pinched if you’re not wearing it. It’s definitely tied to St. Patrick’s Day and all things Irish, but it’s also tied to jealousy. “Green with envy” is a common saying but my lads, it’s nothing to celebrate. Today and every day, let’s take a cue from St. Patrick and be giving not envious. It’s a trait that will make all eyes smile, not just those Irish ones.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day and the luck of the Irish to you!