Beyond Words

Words, Wit and Wisdom for Today's Style and Decision Makers

Gifts We Could All Use May 24, 2021

Filed under: Uncategorized — carlawordsmithblog @ 5:52 pm

Editor’s Note: This post was intended to be posted yesterday, but life happened and I’ve had to delay it by one day. A day late but never too late for its message. Although spiritual in nature, its message is one today’s divided and angry world could use, regardless on one’s beliefs.


One of my favorite prayers to teach little ones, including our daughter when she was young, is the very simple “Holy Spirit, help me today in everything I think, do, and say.” It’s not biblical or found in a specific scripture, but I’ve always thought it pretty well sums up what should be our thought process each and every morning.


I’ve always had a special affinity for the Holy Spirit. I have a prayer that’s typed out on an old-school typewriter that I’ve had and said for years. I don’t know where I got it but I do know it’s very special to me. This should be somewhat surprising considering that growing up the Holy Spirit was often referred to as the Holy Ghost. Yikes! What young Catholic girl would ever want anything to do with a ghost? As it turns out, me and many others.


Granted, the “ghost” reference is somewhat up there with rotary phones and televisions with antennas, but the third person of the Holy Trinity is indeed ageless and timeless. Maybe I’m a fan because the Holy Spirit is often described as the love between Father and Son and is also sometimes referred to as the “female” side of God; the kinder gentler side full of wisdom and joy. Not that God and Jesus aren’t, but who doesn’t need a spiritual mamma in their life?



Pentecost Sunday

The Holy Spirit is on my mind because the church celebrates Pentecost today. It is one of the most important feast days of the year and it concludes the Easter season. It’s also considered the birthday of the church.


Pentecost is the Christian celebration of the Holy Spirit descending upon the Apostles, Mary, and other first followers of Jesus as they gathered in the Upper Room; literally and figuratively lighting a fire in them for the Word. It commemorates their transformation from frightened and confused to ultimately those who preached and made believers of millions thanks to the gifts given to them to do so. It’s those gifts and their ripened “fruits” that I feel, regardless of your beliefs and opinions, are much needed in today’s world.


The name “Pentecost” is derived from the Greek word “pentekostos,” which means 50. Pentecost always occurs 50 days after the death and resurrection of Jesus and 10 days after His ascension into heaven.


As often has it, there is a parallel Jewish holiday, Shavu’ot, which falls 50 days after Passover and commemorates the sealing of the Old Covenant on Mount Sinai when the Lord revealed the Torah to Moses. I have to believe my Jewish brothers and sisters would agree with today’s message.




The Gifts of the Holy Spirit

Without going into too much detail, the Gifts are dispositions that make us open to following the promptings of the Holy Spirit. They are there for the asking and give us strength for the journey. Four enlighten our minds: wisdom, knowledge, understanding, and counsel; and three strengthen our hearts: fortitude, piety, and fear of the Lord. They are biblical and can be found in Isaiah 11:2 and are ways of living we should all strive for. They are:


Wisdom. The ability to exercise good judgment and distinguish between right and wrong. It is also common sense and often advances in years and gains life experience.


Understanding. The ability to think clearly and have insight and discernment.


Counsel. The ability to give and receive good advice.


Fortitude. Moral strength, courage, determination, and resiliency.


Knowledge. The ability to study and learn and put what is learned to constructive and good purpose.


Fear of the Lord. Acknowledges that everything comes from God and therefore downplays personal achievement, pride, and self-sufficiency.


Piety. Being devoted to goodness, decency, mercy, meekness, and virtues.



The Fruits of the Holy Spirit

The Gifts are to be made of good use or they won’t ripen and grow. They must be cultivated and applied daily; the result of which are the Fruits of the Holy Spirit, and I’m not talking apples, oranges, and bananas.  As with the Fruits of the Spirit, those types of fruits are never manufactured but grown; seeds need to be planted and a gardener needs to tend to them. As opposed to the “bitter fruits” of immorality, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger, selfishness, dissension, drunkenness, and carousing found in Gal 5:19-21, the Fruits of the Spirit are good habits, virtues, and deeds that are by-products of God’s presence in our lives. They can be found in Gal 5:22 and are:


Love. Unconditional love that expects nothing in return. Opposite: Self-serving.


Joy. Inner contentment that comes with speaking and upholding truth, honesty and integrity in relationships, and decent conduct. Opposite: Discontent.


Peace. Living with contentment in a world that is never satisfied. It is also when the dignity of all living beings are respected and when legitimate differences are tolerated. Opposite: Anxiety-filled.


Patience. The virtue of suffering delay with composure and without complaint. It is also the willingness to wait even in a world of instant gratification and to slow down and set aside one’s personal plans and concerns. Opposite: High-strung.


Kindness. A warm and friendly disposition demonstrated by a kind and compassionate person who is polite, well-mannered, respectful, considerate, pleasant, agreeable, cheerful, helpful, positive, and complimentary. Opposite: Privileged and Elitist.


Goodness. A bigheartedness grounded in unselfish generosity and integrity and the courage to do the right thing even when it’s hard. Opposite: Dishonest and Deceitful.


Faithfulness. Demonstrated by loyalty, fulfilling commitments fulfilled, keeping promises, and being true to one’s word. Opposite: Unreliable.


Gentleness. Sensitivity and humble consideration for others. Mild-mannered, not pushy or abrasive. Quick to listen and slow to speak with a desire for wisdom and understanding before the desire to be heard. Opposite: Arrogant and Melodramatic.


Self-control.  Reject evil and choose goody by being in control of one’s self rather than controlled by temptation or other people. The ability to remain calm, cool, and collected especially in times of crisis; be even tempered; and avoid impulsive, knee-jerk reactions and responses. Opposite: Undisciplined.


It is often said that these Gifts and Fruits are also revealed in The Beatitudes, which Jesus delivered in His Sermon on the Mount and can be found in Matthew 5-7. On the flip-side, they and the Virtues of humility, chastity, kindness, temperance, vigilance, meekness, and generosity can also ward off the Seven Deadly Sins of pride, lust, envy, gluttony, sloth, anger, and greed, respectively.



Turn on any newscast or scroll any social media site and the urgent need for all of these good traits and true gifts will quickly be revealed. Time to be the gardeners of our inner spirits so we can plant the seeds of fruits that are healthy for the whole of the land. Time to dig deep.




House Rules May 17, 2021

Filed under: Uncategorized — carlawordsmithblog @ 8:49 pm

Summer break is almost here, the country is slowly opening up, and a society tired of being masked up and locked down appears ready to venture out. That might be flying somewhere, taking a road trip, staying in a luxury hotel, or maybe visiting friends or family. If it’s the latter, take note. Being a guest and hosting guests are important roles and they both come with some standard rules of thumb. Let’s start with being a gracious guest.




It’s fun and frugal to camp out in someone’s guest room but we’ve all heard that guests are like fish: they start to smell after three days. So, rule number 1: don’t overstay your welcome. Granted, three days may seem like a really short visit so always double-check with your host. Get and give specific dates and never, ever just assume an invitation awaits you. Just because someone you know lives in a fabulous place doesn’t mean you’re invited to visit and stay with them and for goodness sakes, never just show up. No one wants to be Cousin Eddie from “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.”


It’s also important to be clear as to who exactly will be joining you on the visit. Opening your home to a couple is much different than doing so to a family of five with a dog or special needs visitors.


Blogger and author Mary Hunt also reminds guests to respect their host’s space and the house rules of that space. Don’t arrive with multiple suitcases, clothing that requires numerous hangars, a cooler full of your vegetarian or keto foods, and while visiting, make sure everything you bring stays in the room where you’re staying. And keep that room or space tidy. When you’re not in it, it should look just like when you arrived. You’re not staying in a hotel so don’t treat your friend’s home like one. Housekeeping won’t be dropping by when you leave the room.


As for house rules, well, they rule. If your hosts remove their shoes when they come in, so should you. If they’re non-drinkers, don’t arrive with bottles of wine and bourbon. Pay attention to where they eat and drink. If they drink their morning coffee at the table or in the kitchen, join them there. Be sure any kids you bring with you adhere to rules as well and have them pitch in and lend a hand when it comes to setting the table, washing dishes, or taking out trash. Go over manners, respect, and tidiness and let them know you expect all three from them, which includes everything from television/tablet/music choices to verbal politeness to picking up their clothes.


Arrive knowing that your hosts are just that-your hosts. They are not your tour guides, chauffeurs, or babysitters. Arrange your own transportation prior to arrival and invite them to join you on any activities you have planned. Just don’t expect them to do everything with you unless they choose to. If possible, let them know any plans or reservations you have before arriving so they can schedule joining you beforehand. Be sure to include your kids and any elderly relatives you bring with you on any and all activities and don’t expect your hosts to babysit either unless they offer.



We’ve all heard that saying when it comes to national parks and such, and it kinda applies to being a gracious guest as well. Before departing, remove sheets and pillow cases from beds, fold them, and pile them neatly on the floor along with any towels. Simply throw the comforter over the mattress and prop the pillows up. Wipe down bathrooms and offer to remove trash from your room.


As you take your memories with you, maybe don’t leave footprints but leave behind a kind gesture of your gratefulness. This could be something as simple (and at the very least) a nice thank you note as well as a small candle of their favorite scent, tasteful hand towels, or other small tokens of appreciation.  Lastly, always offer to reciprocate them hosting you.




Your main goal as a host is not to make your guests feel pampered but comfortable. Take time to remove anything that might make them squirm and add things that will encourage them to relax. This might be just letting them settle in casually when they arrive to placing fresh flowers in the room where they’re staying. At the same time, don’t exhaust yourself. Be yourself and let them be themselves. Keep it simple but nice. If you’re stressed they will sense it and in turn feel stressed. Guests don’t expect a perfect house or a perfect host.


Before they arrive, ask them about any allergies…both food and otherwise…and inform them of your schedule. If you have a doctor or hair appointment, yoga or dance class, let them know so they’re aware you’ll be unavailable during those times.


Lizzie Post, great-great-granddaughter of etiquette queen Emily Post, suggests setting a specific start and end date for the visit and to consider your guest’s interests when setting up any activities. Just because you like to hike or visit museums doesn’t mean they do. Lastly, take under consideration any little people who will be visiting and order your home accordingly. Put away any precious breakables or possibly dangerous items before your guests arrive.



We’ve all been guests at someone’s house and I’m betting we can all remember one or two homes that stand out and felt like the owners thought of everything. Was the bed dreamy?  Were the towels cushy?  Did you have everything you needed or forgot?  These are the keys to a top notch guest room.  I’ve gathered some tried and true guest room tips and ideas here for you and would love your input on anything I’ve forgotten or something that caught your eye and that you appreciated as you guested somewhere.



  • Although most guest rooms, mine included, have queen beds, design experts agree that twin beds are guest room perfection. Also if there’s room, have a comfy chair nearby for both sitting and plopping things onto.
  • Every guest room (or room you use for guests) needs a reading lamp. Reading glasses, depending on their age, would be a bonus treat, as would a nightlight.
  • Provide at least one smart phone charger in case they forgot theirs.
  • If the guests don’t have to share a bathroom with anyone else in the house, stock it up with shampoo, shaving cream, lotion, toothpaste, etc. If they share the bathroom, have all these items – perhaps travel sizes – in a basket for them in the guest room.
  • A basket filled with bottled water, drinks, and both salty and sweet snacks is also appreciated and can be accompanied by a pretty carafe and glass that they can fill and refill.
  • Either show them where towels are stored or bring some out and put them on the guest bed. Be sure to include bath towels, hand towels, and wash cloths.
  • Have a pen and paper handy for them.
  • As mentioned above, a low-key vase of fresh flowers is a nice touch to any guest room.
  • To alleviate both incoming and outgoing smells, have a small candle and matches available and/or a subtle reed diffuser.
  • If possible, empty out a dresser drawer and make sure there is space for their clothes in the closet along with plenty of (non-wire) hangars for them to use. A luggage rack or bench for suitcases is also a nice touch.
  • For a true luxury hotel experience, provide various robes for guests to use.
  • Reading materials – books, magazines, catalogs, etc. – should be stacked or laid out in a way that tells them “it’s okay to read these!”
  • If you have Wi-Fi in the house, have the code written down somewhere in the guest room.
  • On the Wi-Fi card that I provide our guests is also our address and phone numbers. Should they need to call an Uber or order food delivery for the group, it’s nice for them to have the address close at hand.
  • If your guest room has a television, have handy step-by-step instructions for all TV remotes and include a channel guide.
  • Provide guests with neighborhood info that includes nearby pharmacies, gas stations, grocery stores, florists, etc. Even though all of this is available on smart phones and computers, guests will appreciate not having to look them up.
  • Give your guests a brief tour of your home, pointing out where dishes, snacks, and other items are located.
  • Show guests how to use your coffeemaker. Every kind is different and this will allow guests to help themselves to the java.
  • Create as comfy a bed as possible. 300-400 count sheets are as high as you need to go, goose down is fluffier than duck when it comes to duvets and pillows, and a fluffy mattress topper will ensure your guests sleep like queens and kings.  Think layers too:  layers of pillows and layers of sheet/blanket/duvet/folded throw.  I personally prefer bamboo or microfiber sheets but 100 percent cotton is popular as well.
  • Be sure outlets are available and easily accessible for a multitude of all things electronic. If several are covered by a bed or dresser, provide a multiple outlet converter and extension cord.
  • Provide plenty of mirrors for your guests. Full-length mirrors come in all styles and are wonderful additions to any guest room as are magnifying mirrors.
  • Two cute ideas on saw on-line for guest rooms are to provide a clear, glass vase of river rocks and a Sharpie for them to sign and date and/or a calendar for them to add their birthday and date of visit to.


In the end, you want your home to be a sanctuary and to make your guests feel at home and at ease.  Treat your guests like family and your family like guests, right?



Here’s hoping that the welcome mat is out for wherever you want to go or whoever you want to host.  Open your hearts, open your minds, open your eyes, and open your doors.





Beautiful Boxwood May 12, 2021

Filed under: Uncategorized — carlawordsmithblog @ 9:23 pm

On a recent visit to a nursery in search of some heat resistant plants, my friend and I got to talking about boxwood, an evergreen we discovered we both love. I’ve forever been fond of the formality and symmetry of perfectly shaped boxwood but like many, am a bit intimidated by it. Seemingly both formal and high maintenance and considering that I’m no true blue green thumb or fanatical gardener, the constant talk of blight and shaping has been enough to make me back off of boxwood. But maybe it’s time to jump in the boxwood pool, even if it’s just to make a small splash with a pretty potted porch version.


Boxwood is the ideal garden design building block and an arrangement of it adds instant curb appeal. The gorgeous greenery creates structure and depth to any landscape and it is both earthy and elegant. Christina Dandar of “The Potted Boxwood” perhaps said it best when she wrote, “To me, a potted boxwood by the front door or anywhere in the landscape is a fairly certain declaration that what is inside is something worth seeing…potted boxwood have the subtle ability to let you know it’s worth opening the door.”


So, come on in. Let’s enter the world of boxwood.



Mark D. Sikes

Stately to look at and simple in design, boxwood can for sure be a bit much for the novice gardener. But, it is drought-tolerant, deer-resistant, and endlessly versatile when it comes to garden design. It also beautiful at weddings and wedding receptions!


The beautiful boxwood has been around forever and has an illustrious history when it comes to grounds and the design of them. This staple of gardens was found as formal hedges in ancient Egypt as well as palatial gardens of ancient Greece and Rome. Today they can be found on porches and pathways everywhere, from Colonial Williamsburg to concrete-surrounded suburbia enclaves. So fabulous are they, that Houston landscape designer calls them the “little black dress” of plants and says every garden should have at least one.


I’m all about little black dresses so sounds like a plan and yes ma’am!


So what is it about boxwood that makes it so special and so fabulous? For one, it’s extremely versatile and can be used as everything from low-growing hedges to conical columns to shapely globes. In addition, the classic shrub’s small and dense evergreen leaves boast what many consider the perfect sculptable quality.


A word of warning though: if you’re even considering investing in boxwood, know that you’ll probably hear a lot about blight, a disastrous fungal threat gives boxwood a bit of a bum rap. It is also sometimes considered a money pit if not tended to properly. Times have somewhat changed however, and there are more than 90 species and 365 selections of boxwood, many much hardier than and somewhat threat free.



A bit about the dreaded blight. It’s definitely something to be aware of but not afraid of. Basically a fungus that can wipe out an entire shrub, blight can affect any boxwood species and can first be spotted as brown spots on leaves. The spots get bigger and merge together, eventually turning entire leaves brown. Keep an eye out for black or dark brown streaks on the stems and rapid leaf loss.


The fungus thrives in humid and warm conditions and once a plant is exposed, spores of the fungus are easily spread through splashing water, wind, and even contaminated gardening tools. If you see any signs of blight on a boxwood, remove and destroy all affected shrubs by burning (safely and legally), burying at least two feet deep, or double bagging in plastic bags and landfilling. Also dispose of all gardening tools used on the affected plants, roots, and leaves or branches that fell. Blighted portions should never be composted.


To avoid blight, always buy boxwood shrubs from local reputable suppliers that have thoroughly inspected the plants for evidence of blight-including those ever popular Christmas and holiday wreaths- and dip pruners in a 10 percent bleach solution after use on each plant. Once purchased, isolate new boxwood shrubs from established boxwoods for several weeks before planting, as boxwood blight symptoms often don’t become apparent until weeks later.  When planting boxwoods, space them far enough apart from each other and other shrubs so that branches on adjacent shrubs do not overlap.  This will increase air flow between them and promote a drier environment that will be less favorable for boxwood blight.  Wherever possible, avoid watering plants with sprinklers or overhead with hoses and instead use a soaker or drip hose.



I don’t know about you, but the more I learn about boxwood the more demanding it seems. All the more reason to hire a professional, right?!  But, even if you do, it’s important to know what you want out of your boxwood, including the “Fab Four” boxwood uses:


  • Hedgers and Edgers. These are generally a series of small boxwood balls that form an edge. They can also be used to define certain spaces in large gardens and break up gardens into smaller sections.


  • Container Accents. I love these because I love topiaries! I also love green and white together and a green boxwood in a white square Chippendale style planter is simply stunning. Add some Paper Whites, Star Jasmine, or Phloxstar White phlox to an arrangement and it’s green and white perfection. Just one or one pair on a porch is perfection, or group some globes or cones side-by-side or a more dramatic look.


  • Backdrops. Think of it against a house or fence as a way to frame blooming perennials, give a space structure and authority, or even create some privacy.


  • Architectural Shapes. A large grouping of cone-shaped boxwoods alongside a sidewalk or home foundation gives evergreen elegance and unequaled uniformity.



Today there’s practically boxwood for everyone, most of which are hardier than the perennially persnickety English boxwood, including Japanese and Korean types such as Green Beauty and Winter Gem, which are more resistant to the disease.


Here are just a few examples of the vast array of boxwood and their individual appeal and suggested use:


  • Newgen’s Freedom is one of the most promising of the many new blight-resistant varieties.


  • Dee Runk boxwood offers a unique, upright, and conical shape and is ideal as focal points on garden corners or to frame a walkway.


  • Baby Gem variety is smaller in size but boasts dense foliage so it’s great for low hedges. Once established it’s also drought tolerant and generally only needs trimming a couple times a year.


  • Justin Brouwers selection is easy to maintain, is very hardy, and perfect for low hedges and bed borders.


  • Grace Hendrick Phillips boxwood is perfect for short hedges and parterres as has a very slow growth rate. It doesn’t need constant clipping and has smaller and narrower foliage, which add interesting texture to its placement.


  • Variegated English boxwood is perfect for making a statement, as it adds a pop of personality to a sphere or topiary.


  • Wintergreen and other fast-growing types are great for impatient gardeners, as they produce height quickly. This fast growth also means they need regular trimming and pruning.


  • Morris Dwarf is a slow growing variety and is perfect for all you patient green thumbers. It requires less care but its slow growth rate means it takes longer to acquire a desired shape.



Whatever boxwood you choose, don’t believe all of the many warnings and negatives you might hear, as once established, boxwood is quite hardy and low maintenance. The “plant in fall” gardener golden rule doesn’t necessarily apply to boxwood since it is considered an evergreen. It is advised to avoid planting them in serious heat, but if the weather isn’t scorching hot and you have good irrigation, you can pretty much plant boxwood any time of year.  Also keep in mind that most boxwood prefers some shade so don’t plant it in areas that get a lot of afternoon sun  and loose, quick-draining soil is best.


Although long-considered a traditional twist to any garden, today’s boxwood is being used in new and fun ways such as with loose grasses and flowering perennials. I personally love the look of an all green garden or garden section that incorporates boxwood (preferably shaped) with other green plants of various hues.


However used and wherever placed, boxwood can be shaped into decorative topiaries, thick hedges to hide and protect, and used as low-in-height borders to keep other plants in order. Most experts do suggest it’s best to start with boxwood that has the natural size and shape that best matches your end-result desire rather than pruning any boxwood into a shape you choose. For example:


If you’re seeking a small and squatty look, Compacta, Grace Hendrick Phllips, or Nana varieties will best fit your bill while John Baldwin, Rotundifolia, and Wintergreen are great large hedge choices. For those beautiful upright and triangular-shaped  perfect for framing a stairway or path, choose either Fastigiata or Graham Blandy.


Maybe you’re still leery about boxwood but you love the look of them. No worries. A few simple indoor topiaries are much easier to keep and always make a great addition to any grouping. If you really, really like the look of boxwood but haven’t had good luck with it or are worried it might not work for you, BH&G suggests considering similar “Golf Ball” Pittosporum, Japanese Holly, Rosemary, or Yew. They tolerate heat, work in various climates, are great for borders, and can be pruned as a topiary…in that order…but know that Yew can be toxic in large quantities to pests.



So say you’ve picked your boxwoods and they are looking fabulous but you know they’ll eventually need to be trimmed. How best to do so? First and foremost, avoid over-pruning, which is bad for the plant and is an open invitation to both pests and blight.


Landscape architect, boxwood grower, and former director of the American Boxwood Society, Andrea Filippone suggested the following tips to BH&G:


  • When pruning for shape, gently and selectively prune a few inches of growth by hand to control size and shape. Do so twice a year: once in the summer but before August and again in December.


  • To make window cuts, make selective cuts into the outer six inches to allow more light (i.e.: “windows”) and air to reach the plant’s center. When doing so, angle the pruners into the shrub and make cuts where the plant begins branching. Remove all clipped and dead branches and twigs.


  • Don’t shear! Boxwoods push new growth where they’re cut, so shearing – clipping only the outermost layer of leaves – leads to a dense outer layer that blocks light and air from reaching the center. This ultimately encourages pests and disease.




Like anything, I come away thinking boxwood may not work for me unless I get a professional to lend a hand, but it’s worth the risk and could be both beautiful and fun. Are you with me?





No Doubt About It May 2, 2021

Filed under: Uncategorized — carlawordsmithblog @ 2:55 pm

I’m not sure how many of you have watched the amazing series, “The Chosen,” but if you haven’t, do. I won’t go into all the details, but just know that it chronicles the life of Jesus like no other show I’ve ever watched. It’s real, inspiring, emotional, and eye-opening. In a word, it is relatable.


There are many lines throughout the episodes that have caught my attention, but one that stands out is when Jesus told Thomas, the infamous “Doubting Thomas,” “Maybe don’t think so much.” I’ve always said I would probably be that “doubting Thomas” and to hear Jesus say those words to a fellow deep thinker hit home and made me think. In a good and healthy way.


Another line I connected with is when Jesus tells Simon, “Get used to different” after He invited tax collector (and possible introvert?) Matthew to join the other disciples and follow Him, raising many an apostolic eyebrow.



It’s not uncommon for introverts like me to overthink and not like surprises. It is our nature to notice and observe everything, boast a knack for details and empathy, and have a deep desire to solve problems and feel compelled to act. At the same time, we crave solitude and quiet. This includes our prayer and worship time.


In studying introvert strengths and how they make me different from extroverts, I’ve learned so much. It’s no secret that introverts prefer intimate and genuine small social settings so it should come as no surprise that I, and many a fellow introvert, do not like big stadium-sized churches. Those giant, energy-filled gatherings do not feed my soul and neither does their rock-style music and hands-in-the-air worship. It all makes me uncomfortable. And that’s okay.


As “The Powerful Purpose of Introverts” author and introvert Holley Gerth writes, we introverts ask ourselves, “Why does everyone enjoy the loud music, feel the need to join a ministry group, and love going on retreats but I don’t?” In a nutshell, because it’s now how we were divinely created.


Many introverts say faith is central to their lives and find our spiritual moments while reading in a quiet place or participate in a small group study. We relate to God and draw near Him better in more intimate settings and ways. Yes of course I love going to church, but the church we attend is smaller in nature and since it’s Catholic, is not prone to what I like to call “Six Flags Over Jesus” services. And please know I’m not judging or criticizing, just observing as a good little introvert does. Those mega-churches serve a purpose and change lives. They’re just not for me.


Many who know me well are often shocked to learn that I’m a full-blown introvert. They say things like “But you’re so outgoing and fun.” Yes, I for sure can be but only around those who give me peace. I can sense it in a heartbeat and my comfort level increases immediately when I do.



Introverts often feel awkward in a crowd, especially one in which we don’t know a lot of people. We don’t feel awkward because we’re shy or stand-offish, we feel awkward because people matter to us and we are wired to connect. Just not on an arena-sized level.


Think about it, big church services feed right into an extrovert’s wheel house. They emphasize emotion and outward signs of faith, which often make introverts uncomfortable. None of it leads to happiness for us, which should be one of many goals of attending a church service.


Spiritual experiences should give us a sense of connectedness, reduce (not increase!) stress, and boost our mental health and happiness. Turns out to extroverts, “happy” is synonymous with enthusiastic, excited, and ecstatic while introverts feel “happy” when content, fulfilled, calm, engaged, peaceful, and satisfied. Modern day culture’s extroverted spin on this concept complicates things for introverts who feel best with minimal external stimulation.  Extroverts are wired to spend energy, so an active service is perfect for them, while introverts are wired to conserve energy.


Learning all this released a “light bulb” moment for me as it explained why I’m not big on retreats despite being highly faith-filled and religious and why a recent bible study I joined was ultimately not for me.


I love bible studies and was so thrilled to join one I’d heard about for years. However, as I became a regular attendee I never felt myself with the reading assignments or the discussion. I also never felt comfortable with the opening and closing praise music videos complete with standing, raised arms, and other “six flags” moments. I love and respect the women who jumped right in and I tried and I wanted to, but if I’ve learned anything about being a card-carrying introvert, it’s to never ever try to be something or someone you’re not…especially an extrovert.


Enter my new bible study that’s much more intimate and comfortable for me. If someone asked “WWJD?” the answer would be both!  In His “only Jesus could” perfect way, Jesus was most likely both an extrovert and introvert. He preached to millions but often also went away to pray quietly and alone.


And in the morning, a great while before day, he rose and went out to a lonely place, and there he prayed.

Mark 1:35


Throughout the Gospels it is noted that Jesus went off for private prayer, including:

  • After the multiplication of loaves, Mark 6:46 says “He went up to the mountain to pray.”
  • “He went up into the hills to pray” after choosing His 12 apostles, as recorded in Luke 6:12.
  • Before the Transfiguration, Luke writes in 9:28 “About eight days He took with him Peter and John and James and went up on the mountain to pray.”
  • Matthew 26:36-45; Mark 14:32-41; and Luke 22:39-46 all document that before the crucifixion in the Garden of Gethsemane Jesus went to pray alone.
  • As only Jesus could, He also preached what he practiced and invited the disciples (and ultimately all of us) to do the same when he instructed them: “And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by men. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you” in Matthew 6:5-6.


Like Jesus when he’d go away to pray, introverts are often energized by solitude and recharged from the inside out and from our ideas and feelings. Our souls. It’s where we’re happy. And secure.  It’s where we find our strength.



Jesus was a quiet leader and is proof you don’t need to be an outgoing or brash extrovert to lead. Jesus, the most influential leader ever, focused mainly on just 12 people, traveled less than 200 miles from His birthplace, lived only to age 33 and spent 30 of those years in obscurity, was King of all kings but was born in a humble manger not on a throne or in a castle, and came as a baby not as an expert. Doesn’t sound like much of an extrovert to me. Can I get an Amen?!


There should be no argument that it’s more important to lead with inspired standards than inspiring personality and that sometimes silence is golden. I’m all for hanging with 12 of my closest and most loyal friends, but I can also sit and read for hours on end and am never bored when alone in my home. I take inspiration from the above examples of Jesus doing the same and from the apostle Paul who instructed, “Make it your goal to live a quiet life.”



This is somewhat easy to do as an introvert. Putting to use my analytical mind and retreating to reflect and pray give me more energy than any rock ‘n roll church service or prayer group can. Gerth writes about this and the nine “Sacred Pathways.” I lean toward the Contemplative path in that I feel closest to God through spiritual intimacy and quiet moments as well as the Intellectual one as I love to learn something new and the resulting “aha moments” about faith and God. I am also predictably in the Traditionalist pathway by loving God through rituals, symbols, repetition, and routine. They all fit the mold of an introvert’s tendency to like an orderly system, scheduling, and planning and are perfect for my cradle Catholic upbringing and life journey. If there is anything that incorporates quiet moments, repetition, and rituals, it’s a Catholic mass!


Most introverts love order and planning so perhaps a favorite scripture verse of ours should be John 13:19 in which Jesus says, “From now on I am telling you before it happens so that when it happens you may believe that I am who I am.” Nothing like giving a perpetual planner a little heads up to prevent them from becoming a doubting Thomas. I believe!



Gerth’s book has inspired and taught me so much. God doesn’t compare us to anyone else and neither should we. At some point we need to stop trying to be someone God never intended us to be and be who He carefully created.  He made me brilliantly and beautifully an introvert and I embrace it with grace. No doubt about it.



This One Takes the Cake May 1, 2021

Filed under: Uncategorized — carlawordsmithblog @ 1:51 pm

Happy month of May! Can you believe it’s already here? Boy has this year flown, especially after last year, which at this time seemed to drag on and on. Truth be told, May is one of my favorite months. I love that the weather is warm but not burning hot yet, it’s the month our daughter was born, it’s the month of Mother’s Day, and it’s the month I was born! Woohoo! I actually had her the day after my birthday and will forever consider her the best birthday present ever. My poor hubby used to lament that he’d walk into a store to buy birthday and Mother’s Day cards and come out broke. LOL.



Growing up, kids birthday celebrations weren’t the gigantic ordeals they are today. If we were lucky, we’d maybe invite a few neighbor kids over for a party of cake and cone-shaped hats. That’s it. No princess imposters. No pony rides. And we were just fine.



I was fine because my birthday meant my favorite cake: German Chocolate. My mom would always make one, complete with stacked round layers and that decadent coconut and pecan icing and mid-layer filling. To this day, it’s probably still my favorite cake, right up there with carrot cake, even though I rarely eat it and have never made one from scratch myself.


I go way back thinking of those memories and you’d think the cake itself goes way back to some small Bavarian village, but it doesn’t. As a matter of fact, it doesn’t even originate in Germany. It all comes down to not geography, but grammar.


It’s actually more a case of a dropped possessive, so more punctuation than grammar, but this wordsmith is all over this story and I’m here to tell you that German Chocolate cake is a true blue American concoction. Its origin does however have something to do with German.


That would be Samuel German, an American by way of England. German arrived in Dorchester, Massachusetts sometime during the 1830s and met a man named Walter Baker, who owned the Walter Baker & Co. chocolate plant. German became his coachman and in 1852 perfected a recipe for a sweet and mild dark baking chocolate. German’s chocolate (do you sense an enlightenment coming?) contained more sugar than Baker’s previous version and was a hit. Up until then, a bar of chocolate was unsweetened and very bitter. Baker bought German’s recipe for $1,000 and marketed it as “Baker’s German’s Sweet Chocolate” which was later simply called German Sweet Chocolate by the adoring public. The simple dropping of an apostrophe explains everything. Punctuation matters!



But what about the cake itself? Not until June 3, 1957 did the cake using the chocolate appear when a recipe for it was published in the “Dallas Morning Star” as its “Recipe of the Day.” Submitted by Mrs. George Clay of Dallas, “German’s Chocolate Cake” called for an 8 ounce bar of German’s Sweet Chocolate and readers loved it. In today’s world, you’d say the recipe went viral.



By this time, the Baker’s brand was owned by General Foods, which in 1958 made the recipe available to the public in a booklet. The cake had an immediate and enthusiastic response, and requests on where to find the German’s chocolate bar were so numerous that General Foods decided to send pictures of the cake to newspapers all around the country and sales for German’s Chocolate skyrocketed. Later publications of the recipe permanently dropped the possessive and it’s remained so to this day.


As with any brilliant idea, many say the recipe was not original to Mrs. Clay, pointing out that similar cakes using buttermilk, sweet chocolate, and pecans had been popular in the south for some time. Clay is the one who submitted the recipe however, so let’s give credit where credit is due.



Regardless of who created the first ever German Chocolate Cake, we know it wasn’t someone in Germany. The cake has stood the test of time and today is still a favorite and can be found in bakeries everywhere, is just as good as a sheet cake, and boxed cake mixes make baking one a breeze. I might just have to whip one up myself!


Isolated Incidences or Isolation Consequences? April 26, 2021

Filed under: Uncategorized — carlawordsmithblog @ 9:05 pm

Many of the bloggers I follow are posting “this is what I posted last year at this time” posts and it got me thinking. What did I post in April of 2020? Predictably, a lot! I remember our daughter being home for nearly three months and walking with her every day…sometimes more than once-a-day. I remember when the virus was called Corona virus and then seemingly overnight became COVID-19. I wrote about it all. We were ordered to stay home so I posted about my favorite candle and diffuser home scents. We were all socially distanced so I bloggingly asked “who do you really miss these days?” And I of course wrote the pandemic requisite “United We Band” blog and stressed we weren’t stuck at home, we were safe at home. Turns out we were somewhat stuck at home albeit safe and many of us still are although several states, including mine, have opened up…at least officially. Also turns out all those predicted and promised “few weeks” to “flatten the curve” lasted much longer than expected and we are now learning some of the results of the isolation and lockdowns. Some are good, some are not so good, and some are a bit surprising.




It should come as no surprise that many of us, me included, put on weight in 2020. But, it might be worse than expected.


A survey by the American Psychological Association reported that 61 percent of the adults surveyed reported an undesired weight change…some an undesired weight loss…since the start of the pandemic. In total, more than 40 percent said they gained weight and the average weight gain was 29 pounds.


According to the Trust for America’s Health State of Obesity 2020 report, 42.4 percent of U.S. adults are obese, marking the first time the rate has topped 40 percent. Sadly, childhood obesity is also growing, with nearly 20 percent of those aged 2 to 19 obese. If you add these numbers with the 30.7 percent of adults who are overweight and the nearly 10 percent severely obese, this means 73 percent of the population is either overweight, obese, or severely obese.


Thank you COVID, right? We’ve been homebound for both work and school, bored, unable to participate in many of our favorite physical activities, and food was right there for the taking…either convenient in the pantry or ‘fridge or delivered to our doorstep with a simple push of a button. And now we’re paying the price. I know I am.


It’s important we get a handle on our new love handles, as unhealthy weight increases cardiovascular disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, and mental illness. Besides, who wants to buy all new clothes now that we’re finally getting out and getting out of our year-long altheisure wardrobe?! You probably have a closet full of clothes you haven’t worn in months. Get out and wear it and get outside people! Things are opening up and it’s time to get off the overeating treadmill and get on a real one!




And on that note, a funny thing happened on the way to us gaining weight last year: we seemed to crave breakfast cereal. Connection? I’m thinking yes. It may come across as and odd COVID creature of habit, but it does make sense.


We needed comfort during the stress-filled year and we longed for the good old “normal” days. What better way to serve a bit of nostalgia than to open a box of your favorite childhood cereal? For me that would be either Cocoa Krispies or Frosted Flakes and when I did opt for a bowl of cereal, I wasn’t alone.


Cereal sales jumped almost 10 percent in 2020 and even though that may not seem like a big increase, consider the fact that sales had dropped in both 2019 and 2018. Pretty sure Post and Kellogg’s loved learning that stocking up on non-perishable foods was just one of the many outcomes of not being able to shop for food as often as we were used to pre-pandemic lockdowns. Seemingly overnight shelf-stable foods were equally if not more appealing and considered “smart buys” than all those fresh perishable foods we’d been enjoying.


I have no idea where this trend stands today but I do know I still love those childhood staples.




It’s no secret that we saw lots of gray roots and growing out hair last year, but have you ever heard of telogen effluvium? Me either, but apparently many suffered from it and still are.


TE, as I’ll call it here, is temporary hair loss and excessive shedding due to a shock to one’s nervous system.  Yeah, pretty sure we were all living in total shock one year ago and extremely nervous so it’s not shocking that our bodies responded to it all in new and uncommon ways.


The not totally uncommon TE usually begins a few months after someone suffers a stressful or traumatic experience…think even something as joyous as giving birth as many a new mom experiences hair loss. With the pandemic, it’s all about stress and the increased levels of cortisol, the stress hormone.


Chronic stress is known to create some annoying and dangerous symptoms and survey after survey has found that increased rates of stress, anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts increased last year. We couldn’t go to work or out to eat. Many lost their jobs and many lost their beloveds. Kids weren’t allowed in schools and churches shut their doors. We couldn’t visit with friends and families and many places of exercise were closed. Any one of these would cause stress and anxiety. We had them all at once. It’s no wonder we lost our minds and lost our hair.


Keep in mind that hair loss is totally normal under normal circumstances. We all shed 50-100 strands of hair each day. But, if you’re losing more than usual and notice clumps falling out, see a specialist. TE is reversible since it’s a hormonal imbalance and not genetic like say alopecia, so any hair loss you’re experiencing is very well temporary. It is, however, a wake-up call that you need to monitor your stress level, improve your diet, socialize safely, and get out in the sun and do some exercise. Be patient though, hair-loss treatments take time, usually three-to-four months, so don’t expect overnight success.





Being forced to socially isolate and be apart from beloved social circles resulted in an abundance of loneliness (more of that in a bit) but that loneliness was somewhat alleviated by none other than man’s best friend.


Shelters, breeders, rescue groups, and pet stores all reported an increase in demand for four-legged people replacers. Pet adoption skyrocketed last year and we all know the health benefits of simply petting a dog much less owning one. And although dogs are my pet of choice, other living beings also proved beneficial, including everything from fish to plants. When real people aren’t available, we all still long to care for someone or something, need a reason for being and having a purpose, and if Fido or Flipper does that, then adopt and purchase away!




This one pertains mostly to kids; those kids who have been homebound and prevented from going to school and other places where they socialize. Lockdown policies were put in place to protect them but we’re slowly finding out they may adversely affect them down the road. Just ask their immune systems.


Immune systems of children aren’t designed to develop in isolation from the big bad world, which is full of bacteria, parasites, viruses, fungi, and other potentially harmful substances. But, interacting with these microbes is extremely important to build up immune systems. Important components in those immune systems that educate our bodies on how to fight illness and infection are still developing into adolescence, but lockdown and social distancing restrictions are also restricting needed exposure to microbes and thereby restricting fighting them. Yes, we need to prevent the spread of disease and practice proper hygiene, but we also need to allow our immune systems to interact with safe and essential microbes. Sadly, it might be our kids who suffer most from the elimination of this essential process for going on more than a year now.


Since the youngest among us don’t have fully developed immune systems, a year removed from maturing them is now predicted by some to show up sooner rather than later in autoimmune diseases such as asthma and common allergies. Even the air our kids have been breathing has been “masked up,” leading others to predict a future “pandemic youth” will show higher than average rates of allergies, asthma, and autoimmune diseases. Perhaps it’s time to open up the schools and let kids be kids again.




This one comes as no surprise: we’ve become a nation of aching bodies. Hmmmm…can’t imagine why. We’ve sat in front of screens for more than a year, all while seeing our physical activity decrease. Enter aching backs, stiff necks, and sore shoulders…and a demand for physical therapy.


Working on laptops while lounging on a sofa, spending day after day slumped over a computer screen, and sitting at stiff and hard kitchen chairs to do homework and spreadsheets have officially taken a toll on our bodies (many of which are also heavier as I wrote about above) and now that we’re peeking outside our homes, physical therapists are hearing cries for help.


In 2020 physical therapy demands dropped dramatically but today many PTs and OTs report practices are almost back to normal thanks in part to pandemic-related injuries.  Not only are there the aching backs, there are injuries resulting from trying a new exercise such as running or biking when gyms closed as well as COVID-19 recovery problems. Therapists are seeing both patients with new ailments as well as those whose previous injuries have flared back up.


Doing things we normally do in not normal places has whacked us out, figuratively and physically. We are a society in pain. We are more anxious and more nervous. We are stressed out. Our emotions and brains are stressed and so are our bodies. The answer? It’s a simple one: keep moving! Your mind, body, and spirit will thank you.




In an odd twist of fate, as our bodies slowed down during the past 12 months, our minds have perhaps been busier than ever and raced. Maybe you’ve had trouble focusing or experience increased wandering of the mind. Perhaps your dreams have become more frequent and vivid or worse, you’re having more nightmares. Not to worry; it’s all related to lockdown brain fog.


Recent months of isolation and monotony have resulted in both mental downtime and a roaming mind. During “normal” times, we are usually mostly oblivious when our minds wander but when we lose control of practically everything – like we did last year – we notice everything and are more in tune with our minds, mindfulness, and wandering minds. It’s not a total bad thing though.


Our inner mental lives are important and it never hurts to pay attention to them. Mind wandering can help us make new connections and see familiar things in a whole new way and discover new things. It’s pretty safe to say we all gained new perspectives in 2020. Maybe we learned we actually prefer working from home. Maybe we didn’t miss all those “friends” we thought we would. Maybe we discovered new hobbies, books, playlists, or podcasts.


Sadly, those same minds have experienced more stress, anxiety, and worry, all of which are often linked to increased repetitive thoughts, zoning out, and rumination. We in turn are restless, are rest deprived, and own restless minds. Maybe you’re one of those who all of sudden doesn’t need an alarm clock or find yourself napping in the middle of the day when you never really had since you were forced to as a child. Restless minds both wander aimlessly and have spontaneous thoughts, the latter of which may help us plan better and make decisions more decisively. Spontaneous thoughts also help us process memories, both good and bad ones but when our minds wander our thoughts are often drawn to the future…a future we are all hoping is better and brighter.




I clearly remember hearing we were all going to have to wear masks but they were hard to come by. There was much debate as to whether home-made versions were really effective and talk of doctors not being able to access N95s was rampant. Now, a year later, most of us are still masked up and you can buy them everywhere.


Some are wearing masks sporting everything from sporting teams to cartoons, flowers to messages. Others are content with simple black versions or those blue “surgical” style ones.  Whatever ones are chosen, they’re said to prevent the sharing of the virus but they also mask personalities and prevent true connection.


Just yesterday in church something very random crossed my mind and I leaned over and asked my husband about it, which made him give me a “WTH, we’re in mass!” look, which got us both giggling. I quietly chuckled so hard that my eyes teared up and as I wiped the joyful tears away I thought to myself, “people may think I’m crying because they can’t see my smiling face under my mask.” That, made me sad.


Masks erase and hide some of our most expressive features. We’ve all had to adjust to a new normal where faces were concealed by masks but it has also forced us to look into each other’s eyes. And that’s a small good thing. They are, after all, windows to the soul.  Sometimes those eyes have looked fearful, sometimes happy, and sometimes sad. In the end, we just miss seeing anyone…really seeing them… and it’s time to open our eyes to getting out, going out, and being out.




During the past year we’ve all become familiar with many new words and phrases including WFH, contact tracing, herd immunity, flatten the curve, and social distancing. One you may not be as familiar with is “she-cession,” which is an emblematic term referring to the fact that under COVID-19 restrictions and job displacement, women left the workforce at nearly four times the rate of men. You know it’s serious and prevalent when a new word is coined.


There’s so much more to this topic than can be addressed in this small space, but just know that many women stepped away from their jobs or were laid off to manage homeschooling their children and take care of their families during truly unprecedented times. Maybe they just wanted to be home with their kids. Maybe their spouse’s income was more substantial and needed than theirs. Maybe they had no choice and were true victims of a pandemic.


Whatever the case, the wage gap is ebbing closer and closer to what it was 20 years ago and men are more likely to say working from home has positively impacted their careers. At the end of 2019, back when we had no idea what was looming, more than half of American jobs were held by women. We need to make sure that is the desired state at the end of this year.




And now the biggie…loneliness took hold of this country in a big way last year and we are only now beginning to see the repercussions.


In a word, social isolation has taken its toll on society. People are by nature social creatures and while restrictive measures were put in place to reduce the spread of the COVID-19 virus, they also reduced the spread of what we all really need and crave: genuine person-to-person contact and communication. This lack – an undeniably long-term and unhealthy lack – of vital human interaction may be affecting us more deeply than we know or could ever imagine. FaceTime and Zoom calls were fun and novel at first, but quickly wore thin. No amount of them could replace a hug from grandma or a kiss from someone dear.


Yes, we all feel loneliness at various points in our lives but it’s usually short-lived and temporary. This collective bout of loneliness feels never-ending and sadly, when loneliness hits, it can be devastating.


  • Many aren’t sleeping well. Many are self-medicating. Others have taken to drinking more.


  • Anxiety and depression commonly characterize loneliness and their numbers skyrocketed last year. More than half of American adults said their mental health has suffered because of the pandemic. Prescriptions for antidepressants shot up 14 percent after the initial outbreak.


  • Suicides and drug overdoses have far surpassed the death rate for COVID-19 among high school students, an age that’s all about socializing.


  • In Japan, suicide claimed more lives in October than 10 months of COVID.


  • Those suffering from loneliness have a higher risk for heart disease, high blood pressure, stroke, obesity, a weakened immune system (not good during a pandemic!), and neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s.



Before the pandemic, the elderly was cited among those hardest hit by loneliness and it’s this same age group that was slammed by the virus as well as the resulting isolation and loneliness. Images of nursing homes cut off from the world will likely forever haunt generations to come. People who fail to find meaningful connection for an extended period of time often give up. They stop trusting others and experience deep shame over their inability to connect. They are lonely but their fears and uncertainties prevent them from fixing it. They literally shut down.



Television is rarely a go-to recommendation for much, but during lockdowns it did prove helpful in the effort to ward off loneliness. Many turned to it to alleviate boredom and to have a voice of some kind permeating through their home, giving the illusion of company and companionship. TV has also provided a way for us to go somewhere and escape our inescapable isolation. We also turned to TV  to stay informed about the virus. We’ve learned however, that not all TV is a good prescription for loneliness. Most would agree that today’s news is probably the worst place to go for any sense of encouragement and can actually worsen loneliness with its incessant parade of negativity, division, violence, and fear. You’re better off sticking to old school comedies and movies and even a touch of silly reality TV than news reports about how horrible this country is.


We may never know the real long-term effects of our extended social distancing and isolation but we do know the resulting loneliness is hard on the mind and the body and that there is a real connection between isolation and pain. Most predict those affects will be far-reaching and very, very damaging.



So, as you go about your day today masked or unmasked, enjoy that bowl of cereal, pet your pet or water your plant, look people in the eyes, and reach out to those who need a friend. It’s now up to all of us to stay healthy and get healthy. We know the results of both of those are healthy and good.





Spread the News: Your Peanut Butter Choice Says Something About Your Personality April 18, 2021

Filed under: Uncategorized — carlawordsmithblog @ 3:02 pm

When I think of foods I avoid buying because when in stock and in house I have absolutely no self-control over eating them only in moderation, peanut butter ranks right up there. I love peanut butter. So much so, that I can and will eat it right out of the jar by the spoonful. Yes, I love me an old-fashioned peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a peanut butter cookie, but by the spoon is just a yummy to me. I only like creamy peanut butter though and this choosy mother only chooeses Jif. I know what I like, but what I didn’t know is my choice says something about my personality and so does yours!




Creamy or Crunchy?

By pure coincidence, a survey was recently conducted by OnePoll on behalf of Jif that examined the peanut butter preferences of 2,000 Americans and it found some interesting tidbits about peanut butter eaters…and it wasn’t that they’re nuts!


Respondents were evenly split by their crunchy vs. creamy preference and one-third of them described themselves as extremely passionate about their peanut butter preferences. So what did we discover?


Apparently those who choose crunchy may have a cheerier outlook on life, as 63 percent of crunchers described themselves as optimists, compared to 56 percent of those who prefer the creamy kind. Creamy fans also tend to be early birds (not this creamy fan!) and more introverted (yep, raising my hand) while crunchy eaters are extroverted night owls.



Amazingly, the power of peanut butter can be traced all the way back to childhood. When asked about theirs, respondents who like creamy peanut butter reported being teased more than their crunchy counterparts (47 percent vs. 28 percent) and some of that influence may stick around as 68 percent of creamy peanut butter fans said they’ve felt the pressure to fit in compared to just 50 percent of crunchy eaters. Kinda makes sense when you consider the introvert/extrovert numbers.


On a “I totally get that” scale, 63 percent of all respondents said they would pass on peanut butter all together if it’s not their chosen kind but on the “that’s ridiculous” scale, nearly half of them said it would be a deal-breaker to discover their date likes the opposite peanut butter version that they do. Seriously? First of all, if you’re talking peanut butter on a date, maybe it’s time to find a new date and secondly, just fall in love buy both kinds!


Lastly, both creamy and crunchy lovers also love animals and both prefer grape jelly on their PB&Js.



Spread It Around

In my unofficial peanut poll, I found that most people agree peanut butter in general is good stuff. But, many aren’t aware of the many surprising uses of peanut butter and its nutritional value. Let’s start with its interesting and fun uses.


  • My personal favorite is a hiccup eliminator. Yep, one spoonful of peanut butter will almost always get rid of those annoying hics. Give it a try next time. Even if it doesn’t work, it’s much more appetizing than sugar!


  • I’m guessing you’ve all heard the trick of concealing your pet’s medicine in a spoonful of peanut butter, which is also a trick you can implement with kids. It’s said you can also clean leather by rubbing a small amount of creamy butter on an item using a soft cloth and men can even shave with it should they run out of shaving cream…only the creamy version though!


  • If you’ve got a critter problem, look no further than a jar of peanut butter. Putting some at the end of a mousetrap will catch a rodent quicker than cheese and a mix of peanut butter, baking soda, and borax can be applied wherever you see ants. Just be sure to keep pets away from the baited area. Lastly and perhaps my favorite even though I hate bugs, this one is ingenious. When you finish a jar of peanut butter, remove the lid and place it on its side wherever you see any kind of bugs or spiders. The critters will crawl into the jar but will get stuck on any remaining peanut butter, making clean up a snap by simply placing the lid back on and tossing it away. Voila!


  • And speaking of bugs, all those that get stuck on your windshield can be a real booger to remove. Whether you have whole bugs or bug remains, rub some peanut butter on those spots, let it sit for 10 minutes, and hose it all off.


  • Being that peanut butter has lots of oil, it can also work as a great lubricant. Instead of using W-40 or other spray lubricants, apply a dab of peanut butter to squeaky door hinges, tools, and other items.


  • This same concept holds true for anything sticky like gum, glue, or price stickers. Rub a little in hair, carpet, or anything else gum is stuck in and wipe it away after letting it sit for a bit. And, instead of washing your glue-stained hands or supplies with soap and water, use peanut butter as its natural oils act as repellents and rinse it off. Now onto those pesky stickers that regardless of how carefully you try to remove them (are you listening frame makers?!), a sticky residue remains. But, not after you smear a small dollop of peanut butter on it and wipe away.


  • I have heard of applying peanut butter to scratched wood but had never heard of substituting peanut butter for butter while cooking, which is not only good in a pinch but will give your recipe a unique nutty taste. Has anyone tried this and if so, did it work well? If it’s a fish recipe you’re cooking only to be left with that foul fish smell in your house, try frying a tablespoon of smooth peanut butter to eliminate the pesky odor. Hmmmm…I guess it’s worth a try next time.


  • Two fun ideas that you can get the kids involved in is using peanut butter to make bird feeders and to seal the bottoms of ice cream cones. To make birdfeeders, simply roll any item like a pinecone or TP roll in peanut butter, attach a string, and hang. You can also spread peanut butter on a halved bagel, run a string through the middle hole, and hang outside. The birds will love both the peanut butter and the bagel!


  • To prevent ice cream cones from leaking out the bottom, scoop some peanut butter into the bottom before scooping the ice cream. It will not only prevent leaks and messes, it makes for a yummy treat at the bottom of the cone!





Those who discovered the makings of peanut butter would probably be shocked at its many interesting uses today but its history is equally interesting.


In the late 1800s, a number of people experimented with making a spread using peanuts, including John Harvey Kellogg, who invented Cornflakes, and famous botanist and inventor George Washington Carver. There is some evidence that the ancient Aztecs made peanut butter as early as the 14th century by simply smashing and mashing peanuts. The first person to patent peanut butter was Canadian Marcellus Gilmore Edson. The Montreal native originally concocted the product for people who had no teeth and received his patent in 1884.


A number of inventors are also credited with helping create the creamy spread we know and love today. The first peanut butter making machine was invented in 1904 and in 1922 chemist Joseph Rosenfeld invented the process by which smooth peanut butter is made. Thank you Mr. Rosenfeld!


Rosenfeld’s invention was later used in the making of Peter Pan peanut butter and in 1932 he began producing his own brand called Skippy.  Most peanut butter is made and consumed in the U.S. where good old Americans eat $800 million worth of the spread annually. Since it takes more than 500 peanuts to make one jar of peanut butter, that’s a lot of peanuts and a lot of peanut butter!



Today, whether you eat it straight out of the jar, in one of my favorite “Uncrustable” pre-made mini sandwiches, spread on a sandwich or apple slices, in curry sauces, or in the middle of Reese’s Cups, you could say peanut butter is almost as American as apple pie.



Health Nuts

And, contrary to what many believe, did you know peanut butter can also be good for you? Okay, so maybe not in a sugar and butter-ladened peanut butter cookie or white bread and sugar-saturated jelly sandwich, but in its raw, natural form, peanut butter packs quite the nutritional punch and can be an excellent source of nutrition as it contains protein, iron, and potassium along with other nutrients.


Made of roasted ground peanuts blended into a thick paste, peanut butter is not surprisingly protein rich. It is also a good source of Vitamins B6 and E, Niacin (B3), Manganese, and Magnesium as well as copper, which helps maintain bone health, immune function, and blood vessels. Some research also suggests that having copper in your diet may reduce the risk of osteoporosis and heart disease. Those antioxidants – Manganese, Vitamin E, and B vitamins – also prevent and repair cell damage in our bodies, reducing the risk of chronic disease like cancer.


Also rich in a fat known as oleic acid, peanut butter may improve heart health and reduce the risk of diabetes. Oleic acid has been shown to help maintain good cholesterol, blood sugar, and blood pressure, thereby possibly preventing heart and vascular disease. That same acid has also been shown to reduce the body’s insulin resistance, which can raise your blood sugar and lead to diabetes. Research shows peanut butter’s Omega-6 may also have this same effect.


Peanut butter is thought to be fatty and not what you want to include in a diet longing to get rid of body fat, but the fats in peanut butter are the so-called “healthy” ones – monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fatty acids – and foods high in them as well as proteins and fiber take longer for our bodies to digest, which helps keep us fuller for longer amounts of time, thereby reducing snacking and overeating. So, even though you blame peanut butter for a weight gain, it’s probably not the product but the amount you put in your mouth and how often.


As with anything though, it’s all about moderation as peanuts are high in calories and so is peanut butter.  A two tablespoon serving of regular peanut butter is generally thought to contain 207 calories, 9 grams of protein, 18 grams of fat, 6 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, and 1 gram of sugar. So much for me dipping spoonful after spoonful and enjoying a little harmless snack!


On that same nutritional label, be sure to check for any added ingredients like sugar, vegetable oil, and trans fats and look for a version that doesn’t contain additives. If you’re really concerned, simply make your own peanut butter by blending roasted peanuts in a food processor.


There are possible health risks with peanut butter, not least of which are peanut allergies. It’s amazing how widespread they are today and I saw this troubling food phenomenon first-hand when I worked in a preschool for many years. At the start of my tenure, nary a student had a peanut allergy and if there were any, the number was minimal. By the time I hung up my teacher title, if you didn’t have a peanut allergy in your class you were considered fortunate. So many nut allergies. Peanuts. Tree nuts. Almonds. Air born. Ingested. Epi-Pens. Emergency medical forms. Separate allergy tables for lunch and snack. You name it. It was there. But why? Why wasn’t this the case when I was growing up or even when our daughter was growing up? Some blame chemicals and pesticides, but if one is allergic to whole, natural peanuts themselves, it’s got to be something else.


A new study by the Murdock Children’s Research Institute reports that introducing peanut products early in a child’s life prevented peanut allergy during randomized controlled trials. The research found changes to food allergy guidelines has led to a 16 percent decrease in peanut allergies among infants and also found a significant increase in parents introducing peanut into their babies’ diets since the guideline changes.  Is this a possible lightbulb moment?


During the 1990s, some guidelines recommended avoiding allergenic foods until ages 1-3 years but by 2008 advice started to shift slightly based on increasing evidence that delaying allergenic foods was associated with increased food allergy risks. International infant feeding guidelines changed in 2016 to recommend introduction of peanut and other allergenic foods before 12 months.  And the results are promising.


Peanut allergy prevalence between 2007-2011 was 3.1 percent, a number that dropped to 2.6 percent in 2018-2019, a 16 percent decrease. In addition, infants who didn’t consume any peanut products between 2018-2019 were 4.8 percent allergic while at the same time severe reactions to introducing peanuts early were uncommon.


Of course each child and each family is different and personal and professional health providers should always be consulted prior to any dietary changes.  Peanut allergies, whether arrived at early in life or later in life, can be fatal in some cases and care should always be taken.

Another word of caution regarding peanut butter is to always keep in mind that it is high in calories and while most of the fat in it is the “good” kind, peanuts also contain some saturated fat. They are also high in phosphorus, which can limit your body’s absorption of minerals like zinc and iron. If you are deficient in these minerals, a diet high in phosphorus may worsen your condition. Again, check with your doctor if you have any concerns.


You can go nuts when it comes to choosing peanut butter, but maybe for some of you it’s not actually peanut butter that is your best choice. Consider almond butter, as almonds have the highest concentration of nutrients per ounce and also contain those Omega-3’s that peanuts lack. Macadamia Nut Butter is also an option and although macadamians have more calories than peanuts, they have the highest amount of healthy fats of any nut. Another alternative is walnut butter, made from Omega-3 and Omega-6 rich walnuts, which have less fat and calories than peanuts. Lastly, how about a powdered peanut butter like PB2? I discovered the stuff a few years back and although it, once mixed with water, may not be the makings of a perfect PB&J, it is actually quite yummy with celery. Never say never!



I will say peanut butter is one of my favorite cookies and how cool is the traditional fork print on the tops of them? They are also, I might add, the one time I don’t mind using crunchy peanut butter as the nuts in it give the cookies extra depth and texture.


Whatever peanut butter you prefer, now you know there’s a whole lot more to it than crunchy or creamy. Spread the news!


Disclaimer: Test all items and people before using or ingesting peanut butter and contact a doctor before implementing a peanut-free or peanut-introduced diet.



A Brush of Color March 30, 2021

Filed under: Uncategorized — carlawordsmithblog @ 4:02 pm

If you could describe the year 2020 in one color, what would it be? How ‘bout 2021? If you said anything near gray for 2020 and yellow for 2021, you are not alone and you are right on trend. Just ask the color experts at Pantone, who chose the colors “Ultimate Gray” and “Illuminating” as their official 2021 “Colors of the Year.” Granted, both are for 2021, but how perfect might their choice be? Selecting two very different and independent colors, they highlight how different elements can come together to support each other. You think 2021 is listening?


When we collectively think back to the year 2020, we will most likely think of resilience and perhaps even dullness with a splash of doom. In other words, our world was pretty gray last year. A year’s worth of quarantine has a way of ensuring we all possessed a gray state of mind. On the flipside, we all had great hopes for and were optimistic heading into 2021, which the color yellow represents through Pantone’s Illuminating. You could say colors that totally contrast were brilliantly chosen and reflect resilience and positivity in their mood and attitude.


So who are these paint aficionados and why should you care? If for no other reason, it’s fun!



For more than 20 years Pantone’s Color of the Year has influenced product development and purchasing decisions in a multitude of industries including fashion, home furnishing, industrial design, product packaging, and graphic design. It took a year as tumultuous as 2020 to convince the paint pickers to pick two colors. The process of doing so is literally a full-time job…or many jobs.


Selecting a Color of the Year requires thoughtful consideration and trend analysis by color experts at the Pantone Color Institute. These color connoisseurs comb the world looking for color influences in everything from film to art, fashion to travel destinations, and beyond. Inspiration may also stem from new technologies, materials, textures, and other items that impact color and capture worldwide attention like say social media platforms and sporting events.


In short, the Pantone Color Institute is just that, a true institute in that it teaches and it learns. In addition to selecting the annual Color of the Year, this business unit of Pantone also highlights top seasonal runway colors, forecasts global color trends, and advises companies on color for product and brand identity. It also works with global brands and partners on seasonal trend forecasts, color psychology, color consulting, and emotion of color. Who knew, right? Sounds like a pretty fun job!


But back to this year’s colors. Let’s look at gray first.



I love gray. I think of yummy gray flannel or gray clouds bringing in an energized rain storm. Both my home and my closet have lots of gray in them.  It is a timeless color and a soothing neutral. I also love Grey’s Anatomy, although that has nothing to do with the color or its spelling!



The gray selected by Pantone is what they call “mid-tone,” as opposed to a heavier hue like charcoal gray. Its message could be one of fortitude and gratitude, resilience and composure.  Gray is a stable color and aren’t all of us looking for even a smidgen of stability after the most unstable of years?



Gray is also considered practical and rock solid and encapsulates steadiness and dependability. Think of the old saying, “Life isn’t’ black and white; it’s gray.” Gray is normal; gray is good. Dependable elements in our life are often gray: firm foundations, beach pebbles or river rocks, back roads, and a host of other elements that stand the test of time. We stood the test of time in 2020 and now we’re ready to say goodbye uncertainty and hello sunshine!  Enter Illuminating.



A bright and cheerful color, the bright hue sits in sharp contrast to its fellow Color of the Year. I’m not a big yellow fan but I get the idea behind pairing it with gray this year as yellow often brings with it positivity and promise.  It conveys a message of happiness and hope as we all search for ways to grab onto energy, clarity, and a brighter day.  It is a cheerful, welcoming, and friendly shade, as evidenced by a sunflower or sliced up pineapple.



Ebullient in nature and invigorating in design, yellow is finding its way everywhere. Think aspens turning and you’ll jump on board.



Together, gray and yellow just seem to work as a design palette, especially with contemporary or modern looks such as Scandinavian or Mid-Century Modern. And surprisingly, gray is being used as the accent color with yellow being more dominant, especially in kitchens and bathrooms.


The two also work well in a place we’ve all spent lots of time in lately: the home office. Whether for school work or work from home work, our home offices are screaming for freshness and a yellow and gray combo might be just what they need. Gray stabilizes our thinking and encourages contemplation while yellow heightens awareness, enhances intuition, and increases curiosity and originality.



Funny thing happened on the way to “stay at home” orders: we learned we wanted to change and update those homes. Paint purchases increased last year and DIYers took chances as many a homeowner took to brushes and rollers to alleviate boredom, accomplish long-held honey do’s, and simply improve their 24-7 scenery. Grays were chosen for relaxation, which was much needed even as we didn’t really go anywhere, while yellows found their way onto many an accent wall.



As with any color, be careful with both the yellow and the gray. A little bit of yellow goes a long way while gray, much like beige, can feel underwhelming if overused. Stick to just one or two areas, rather than floor/walls/texture/furniture combos and think of it as a way to soften more flashy tones and to create a rich environment.



When all is said and done, we all need a little gray in our life as well as a little yellow. It hasn’t been easy but gray skies are going to clear up and as Van Gogh said, “How lovely yellow is, it stands for the sun!” Chin up friends and paint away!


Springing for Easter Traditions March 20, 2021

Filed under: Uncategorized — carlawordsmithblog @ 7:45 pm

Happy first day of Spring! Today it’s officially Spring, which means Easter is just around the corner. It also means pine trees will start sprouting crosses on their tops. It’s true and it’s an Easter lore I’m learning about for the first time this year.


I’m not sure how I never knew this story, especially since I grew up in the Rocky Mountains where there are many pine trees, but it was news to me when I came upon it. And I loved it.


Apparently this time of year pine trees start their new growth. The tallest branch shoots forth and upward and forms the shape of a cross. If you look up and look around at certain pine trees you might see shoots developing making a familiar shape. The yellow shoots first form vertically followed by side buds, which eventually form branches and new growths that resemble a cross. They start slow and small, but as the days get closer to Easter, the tallest shoots branch off and form the familiar Christian symbol leading some believers to say “even trees know it’s Easter!”


The fact that this happens around the Easter season is likely pure coincidence, but who doesn’t love a wonderful legend? The crosses are more prominent and more readily seen on Loblolly Pines in the southern U.S. and on Ponderosa Pines in the west but can also be found on a variety of other pines as well.


I love this story and loved learning it just this year, and it reminded me of other Easter traditions that many either take for granted or don’t truly understanding the meanings behind them.



Take for instance the Easter Rabbit. Much like Santa Claus and Christmas, rabbits have nothing to do with the real meaning of Easter, Jesus’ resurrection, but like other Easter favorites they do represent “new life,” which is what Easter is all about.


As I mentioned above, Easter always occurs in spring and spring is when the weather gets warmer, flowers start to bloom, and animals come out of hiding after a long winter of hibernation. Lots of other animals like rabbits are born in the spring, which again brings up “new life.”



So, what about Easter eggs? Well, lots of animals like birds and lizards are born from eggs and many of them are born in the spring reminding us of new life once again. And if you think about it, Jelly Beans (one of my favorite candies) are oval-shaped just like eggs so it’s no coincidence they are an Easter basket tradition.



Jelly Beans are one of my favorite candies and another Easter custom is my favorite flower: the Easter Lily. Every year I buy myself one and even a grocery store variety is sufficient in that any lily smells divine and fills a room with its own heaven-sent scent. I can smell their fragrance just looking at the picture above. But why do we only enjoy them at Easter?


For many, the trumpet-shaped white blooms symbolize purity, virtue, innocence, hope, and life…the very spiritual essences of Easter. They’re mentioned in both the Old and New Testaments of the Bible, referenced several times in the Song of Solomon as well as in the Sermon on the Mount. Their religious tie-in goes further however.



Often called “white-robed apostles of hope,” lilies were said to be found growing in the Garden of Gethsemane after Christ’s agony. Tradition has it beautiful white lilies sprung up where drops of Christ’s sweat fell to the ground in His final hours. Today churches commemorate this belief by filling altars and aisles with Easter Lilies. Lilies have also played significant roles in tales concerning motherhood and purity, making them the fitting symbol of the greater meaning of Easter. They embody joy and life and serve as beautiful reminders that Easter is truly a time of rejoicing and celebrating.



Lastly, how exactly did ham get to be the meat of choice at our Easter tables? Tradition has it that hogs were slaughtered in the fall but due to lack of electric refrigeration; any meat that wasn’t eaten fresh in the cold months was cured so it would keep longer and be edible in the spring. It just so happened that, because curing take a while, the first hams were ready right around Easter. Thankfully today we have the finest of refrigeration so hams of all sorts can be found year ‘round. Still, whether honey-baked or smoked, chances are ham will be on many an Easter table.


So there you have it, all things Easter wrapped up nicely in a virtual basket of info. I hope you learned something, liked it, and have an Easter season filled with hope, love, and lots of Jelly Beans!


Sorry Not Sorry March 10, 2021

Filed under: Uncategorized — carlawordsmithblog @ 7:13 pm

In celebration of his birthday and literary genius while trying to make sense of cancel culture and its revocation of Dr. Seuss, last week I posted one of my favorite quotes of all time:




Truth be told, I’m not a huge Dr. Seuss fan but I’ve always loved that quote. Ironically, its message could not be more needed or timely. We are living in a time that has quickly become one in which some are being asked to apologize for how they were born and how God made them while others are demanding apologies for the most senseless of so-called transgressions.



A perfect illustration of this happened just a few days ago when I was chatting with a friend who mentioned that she had recently commented in a group text something she hoped one of the recipients wouldn’t scold her for. It wasn’t anything offensive or controversial but in this day and age of offending someone or making them mad, she was worried she should apologize for it. I promptly recommended she revisit that Dr. Seuss quote.


Can we just stop?

Can we please stop apologizing for everything?

I’m sorry, but it’s just all out of control.



As luck would have it, one of my favorite authors/bloggers/feel good humans, Courtney Carver, recently wrote about this very thing. Yes, we all need to apologize for our mistakes and our wrongs and not think we’re perfect or above reproach, but we need to stop apologizing for things we really don’t need to be sorry about.



Making amends is indeed healing and a truly heartfelt apology can go a long way. Be sincere about it though and never try to justify what you are sorry for. If you think you were justified, deep down you probably don’t think you need to apologize. If you don’t believe your sincerity, neither will they. As they say, making someone angry is one thing, but hurting someone is another. Always apologize for hurting someone.




It really all comes down to common sense and choices and as of today, I’m choosing to stop apologizing for:



  1. Being me. I can be a lot. And I can be a little. Huh? It’s true. I can be very opinionated and passionate but I can also be very private and need my alone time. I’m done apologizing for any of it. I am who I am and if I’m too much or too little for someone, they’re either not my people or quite possibly “those who don’t matter.”



  1. Being sensitive, emotional, and moody. I’ve learned that being sensitive is a strength and shows you have a big heart and besides, who isn’t moody?!
  2. Saying no. No is a complete sentence and say it unapologetically without going on and on. If something offered doesn’t make you want to say “hell yeah,” think about saying “no way.” I’m no longer saying yes to FOMO or the disease to please and I’m no longer saying “ok” or even “let me think about it” to any invitation I know I don’t want. I embrace my free time and am not going to apologize for saying no to something that steals it away from me. Think of it this way: when you say no to things that don’t excite you, you leave room in your life for the things that do.


  1. Giving and going too much. I know my comfort level of activity and I know what I can and cannot give or offer. Over-committing and the often resulting dysfunction stress me out and reduce my abilities and energy, which leads me to…
  2. Setting boundaries. These little boogers are essential for everyone. For me, they increase my passion, my stability, and my peace of mind. Know your limits. Dare to set your boundaries and don’t apologize for them.



  1. Thinking differently. Oh boy. This is a big one right now. Not a lot of gray out there but it’s not okay to feel like you have to apologize for what you believe or for not agreeing with someone. It’s also not okay for them to humiliate you for having a difference of opinion. Leave them with theirs and unapologetically walk away with yours. Travel the high road. Remember, if you are easily offended you are easily manipulated and besides, if everyone looks different but thinks the same it’s conformity, not diversity. Don’t apologize for thinking differently or disagreeing with even those you love.
  2. Changing your mind. Maybe at the time I signed up for something it sounded good, but things change…both inside and outside. It’s important to keep learning and keep growing and doing so often requires changing your mind. Be okay with that.



  1. Not responding. In today’s high-tech age, it can feel like a text, voice mail, or email requires an instant response but maybe we’re not up for an answer right away. Maybe you’re swamped with other things at the time. Maybe you need to think about your response. Maybe you just don’t want to. Stop saying “I’m so sorry for not getting right back to you” and instead thank them for their patience.
  2. Putting my mental and physical health first. Yep, not sorry here. At all.
  3. Keeping up with the Joneses. My house is not the biggest or fanciest, my posts aren’t always glam shots of me or fabulous destinations, my life is not perfect, and my body is far from picture perfect but I’m done apologizing for all of it. I’m good.



And while you’re at it, don’t be one of those forever offended types and expect apologies from everyone else. If someone hurt you but never said sorry, move on and offer forgiveness rather than harbor resentment, revenge, and ultimately bitterness.




The constant worry and stress over the perceived need to apology is both exhausting and has a way of quietly telling ourselves we’ve failed and we’re not good enough. It’s time to stop, so for the next week, pay attention to how many times you tell someone (or even think) “I’m sorry” or apologize for something.  Then think about how many of those apologies were really needed and merited. And again, of course if you did do or say something hurtful or harmful, apologize and own it, but stop apologizing for simply being you and not being something or someone else. Stop beating yourself up. There’s nothing to feel sorry about that for.