Beyond Words

This is part 2 in my Sunday series of “What’s the Difference?” Last week I wrote about the difference between faith and believe and today it’s all about joy and happiness. Enjoy!

It seems like just yesterday we were all singing “Joy to the World” and wishing each other comfort and joy. Christmas is a time of glad tidings and cheer but what about joy? Or is it just happiness? “Just” happiness? Carla, what are you saying?

I’m saying there’s a difference between joy and happiness and they’re both something we should strive for.

I saw that mountain smile at me on an Alaskan cruise and it made me smile back. It made me happy. We all want to be happy and we all want to experience joy. In fact, you could say we are often preoccupied with them and that decisions we make, even dumb ones, are in pursuit of one if not both. But as we aim for happiness what we might really be searching for is joy. Newsflash: happiness and joy are not the same things.

Webster defines joy as a feeling of great pleasure and delight. Happy, on the other hand, is defined as a feeling or showing pleasure or contentment. Happiness is generally fleeting and temporary while joy is a true sense of utter and permanent delight. When things go well you are happy but if you have true joy, you remain in that state even when things aren’t going so well. Maybe because you have faith? And hope? And trust?

Another key difference between the two are their source. Happiness is typically reached externally through things like possessions, success, or special events. Joy, on the other hand, is more internal and spiritual and gained from inner guidance and peace. Happiness also tends to look at life through the here and now and on a surface level while joy looks more at the long-term picture.

It’s often said that happiness is a journey, not a destination, and whoever said that is right! Happiness is basically the feeling that you’re living a fulfilling life and is said to have three components:

• Emotional well-being. The presence of positive emotions like gratitude and hope and the absence of negative feelings like anger, anxiety, and sadness.
• Finding things and activities that fully engage your attention and pique your interest.
• The sense that your life has purpose or significance.

We experience happiness when our circumstances are pleasant and we’re relatively free from troubles. When circumstances change though, as they inevitably do, that happiness evaporates. We might say or convey we’re happy, but deep down we may be hurting, worried, or angry.

Taking a nap can make you happy, as can eating a delicious meal, getting a job you’d hoped for, giving birth to a child, travelling somewhere you longed to, being around trusted and loyal friends, or when your favorite team wins a game. Then, they lose the next game and your happiness is gone. The feeling is gone. I speak from experience here. Have been there many times!

Joy, on the other hand, is not a temporary jolt of emotion and needs no outward stimulation. It is profound, resonates deep in our soul, and encompasses more than just a moment of pleasure or satisfaction. It springs from a deep sense of contentment or fulfillment and it endures in any circumstances regardless of what may come your way. In fact, it may grow stronger in adversity.

Not only do we all want to be happy and joyful, we all probably also want to be one of “those” people who radiate a sense of bliss and blessedness. So how do we get there?

 Maybe we should ask the Danes, as Denmark often ranks as one the happiest countries on earth. Their concept of prioritizing social connections and community support even has its own word: “hygge.” Danes firmly believe that coziness and togetherness contribute to overall happiness and make it a point to have their homes, offices, and anything else follow the hygge model.

We could also ask Spanish speaking countries as my friend Paula so brilliantly pointed out when I was telling her I was working on this blog. She reminded me that “estar contenta” and “ser feliz” may seem like duplicate Spanish phrases, but they’re not. To know this, you have to understand the difference between both ser and estar and contento and feliz. Vamanos!

“Contenta” is usually tied to shorter spans of time. You can be “contenta” because you passed an exam for example. “Feliz” is used for both short and long periods of time and is generally viewed as a stronger feeling.

You can say “estar contenta” and “estar feliz” and can also say “ser feliz” but not “ser contenta.” Ser refers to defining characteristics while estar refers to states and conditions. Contento is the state of being happy and is almost always used with estar. Feliz is a characteristic of being happy and traditionally used with ser. It’s also my niece’s middle name!

It’s important to remind ourselves that God wants us to be happy. Throughout scripture Jesus talks about joy and Galatians 5:22-23 spells out that the Fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Is “happy” on that list? Nope. Is “joy?” Yep. To experience joy, true joy, you need the Holy Spirit. In your life. In your heart. In your soul.

Best-selling author of “The Purpose Driven Life” Ken Warren came up with a definition of joy after studying scripture. He writes, “Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be alright, and the determined choice to praise God in every situation.” Amen to that!

Linus gets it, right? They say truly joyful people let insults role off their backs, are generally kind and gentle and are, for lack of better words, a joy to be around. I think of my brother-in-law Frank here. Frank, who happens to be a Catholic deacon, rarely gets flustered or angry, has gallantly lived through many a tragedy, and is pleasant to share company with. He’s got it. He gets it.

We should also long to spread happiness and scatter joy as described in James 1:2. “Happy is the person who has learned the secret of being content with whatever life brings and then shares this secret with other who need encouragement.” Encourage others. Show them joy.

In the end and regardless of their differences, it’s important that we make room for both happiness and joy in our lives as both are positive and uplifting emotions and have their place in creating an emotionally-balanced and fulfilling life. That, makes me happy and brings joy to my heart.