I was recently scrolling through social media and came upon a lengthy post by singer Lauren Daigle. If you are familiar with her, you know her message is always positive and uplifting. If you aren’t familiar with her, you’d look at a photo of her and guess she’s more of a Grateful Dead fan then that of the Greatest One. This post however, was a little different.
Evelyn Henson
In it she shared multiple examples of being confronted by several negative and aggressive people in one day for totally unnecessary reasons. They didn’t recognize her but made sure they gave her a piece of their obvious conflicted minds. She went on to ask followers “what’s happened to us?” Why are there so many angry people out there? (And please, no one word answers here dealing with hate.) Can’t we all be kind and spread joy instead of bitterness and anger? It made me think and made me a little sad.
You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
Common saying, right? Those flies are pretty happy right now because there’s a whole lot of vinegar out there and very little honey. I get it. People are pissed. People are hurt. People are worried. People are resentful. It’s okay to disagree. It is another matter to disrespect someone as a person. When that happens, game over for me. Insulting me and my beliefs personally will never get me to listen to your side or assess your argument. The minute you name call, I’m out. We can express our displeasure and let people know we are disappointed, but come on people, do it like adults and do it with courtesy and respect.
James Clear
I subscribe to author James Clears’ simple yet motivating weekly newsletter that consists of three ideas, two quotes, and one question to consider each week. I love getting them and almost always walk away with some type of inspiration. Again, they’re simple but so good.
One of his three ideas recently was “the way to help someone is not to critique what makes them smaller but to encourage what makes them larger.” Pretty sure Lauren Daigle would agree.
Maybe it’s all the stuff I’m hearing and seeing out there that has me on this wavelength and music always proves prolific. Just yesterday driving, The Vaughn Brothers’ 1990 hit “Tick Tock” was the next selection on my playlist. Boy were they ahead of their time as they sang about a dream in which everyone worked together and got along. “Time’s ticking away” they sang. Brother Stevie Ray is probably rolling in his grave seeing how the times haven’t really changed in so many ways.
Indeed, times are tough right now. Hate, unrest, and bitterness abound. Friend groups and even families are fracturing. I’m feeling it personally and it hurts. Sadly, I can’t fix it. It’s disheartening and it’s depressing. Most of all, it’s just wrong.
What to do, what to do?
Love your enemies. That’s what. At least that’s what Jesus so famously preached during his Sermon on the Mount. If you’re any level of Christian, I’m guessing you know the scripture. But, are you living that scripture after you religiously (excuse the pun) attend mass or service or are you harboring hate and letting it fill your heart as you go about your life. Hmmmmm…
There’s an old Texas saying that suggests “Hug your friends tight but your enemies tighter…hug them so tight they can’t wiggle” and Oscar Wilde once famously said, “Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.” He and Texans may be onto something and the Japanese would agree.
There is a form of Japanese martial art called aikido. The idea is to absorb the aggressive energy of your opponent, move with it rather than against it, which will frustrate your opponent until he comes to the point of realizing that fighting is useless. I wish many out there right now would take their “fight” to this level.
It is said that hatred does more damage to the person in which it is stored than to the person on which it is poured and no amount of vindictiveness or destruction ever leads to anything good. It’s also said that gentleness is actually a sign of moral strength and ultimately fosters harmony in relationships and builds trust. It is the combination of self-control, compassion, and humility and boy could we use a giant dose of gentleness. Peaceful and respectful disagreement…not insults and violence…should be all of our goals.
Here’s where I might lose some of you. I recently read Mrs. Trump’s “Melania” book and, say what you want about her based solely on her husband, the woman is highly intelligent, educated, and accomplished. She ends her book with an excerpt from a speech she gave last year. Here is an excerpt of the excerpt that I hope we can all learn something from:
“We have always been a unique union but courage and common sense must ascend and bring us back together as one. Let us not forget that differing opinions, policy, and political games are inferior to love. And let us remember that when the time comes to look beyond the left and the right and beyond the red and the blue, we will ascend above the hate, the vitriol, and the simple-minded ideas that ignite violence. Let us reunite. Now.”
We all need to find a better way to disagree, to be better winners, and to be better losers. Life happens. We don’t always get our way. So, as we head into the Lent homestretch, let’s all look in the mirror and truly own the division we might be causing. Take all “buts” and justifications out of it and take a step back. Is it really doing any good or is it doing more harm than good? Is it truly changing anything or just creating negativity? Maybe it’s time to fast from differences and feast on unity. Can I get an amen?
Beyond Words 