Beyond Words

Happy Tuesday and Happy Summer!

Happy International Yoga Day everyone!  What? I thought it was Father’s Day. Well, it is, but it’s also a day when millions are celebrating an ancient tradition around the world. On this day, I do wish all dads out there a happy day filled with relaxation and family as well as the calmness that yoga can bring.

I started doing yoga several years ago and, even though I’m not even close to being a “yogi” and I sadly haven’t been to a class in months, I absolutely love it. I think of it as the perfect balance between strength and letting go and I’m using today as a way of inspiring me to get back to it starting tomorrow. Who’s with me?

It’s estimated that more than 20 million Northern Americans practice some type of yoga and its benefits are far-reaching. For me it reduces stress and it centers me. It calms me down and it makes my body feel good, not hurt. I feel so good just stretching my body out all while listening to calming music in a dimly lit room. What’s not to love?

Yoga is also known to improve flexibility, breathing, and blood flow while at the same time reducing inflammation, high blood pressure, anxiety, chronic pain, and even depression. Best of all, everyone can do it: young and old, limber and stiff. I fall into the latter of both of those but I can do yoga! I can do my Warrior 1 and 2 poses along with Downward Dog and Child’s Pose. I love a Half Moon and a Side Angle but Tree, Chair, Crescent Moon, and Cobra are very hard for me. And as for Table: no way, no how!  Yet!

When I do yoga in the evening, I swear I sleep better that night. I also find that I sweat much more in a yoga class than any other type of class or training I’ve done. I don’t know if that really matters, but it certainly makes me feel like I’m getting a great work-out and my money’s worth!

“I’m too old” is not something you ever hear in a yoga studio. In fact, a recent study showed that yoga can actually increase the power in an elderly person’s brain that promotes mental flexibility, information recall, and the ability to multi-task. Seems the wonderful deep breathing you do in yoga pumps more oxygen into your brain cells resulting in a more active brain. Get your mats and sign up!

What I also like about yoga is that it’s not some new “exercise of the month” program. It’s been around for centuries. Literally. Actually, more than 6,000 years but who’s counting?

Originating in India, yoga most likely developed around the 5^th and 6^th centuries. Its original purpose was to integrate the body and the mind and it is considered a physical, mental, and spiritual discipline among both Hindus and Buddhists. As with anything, there are many styles and practices including:

Hatha. Probably the most popular yoga style, Hatha yoga is perfect for beginners. That’s probably why it’s considered the standard by many and so widespread. Hatha classes consist of slow, gentle movements with lots of modifications for each student’s needs and abilities.

Vinyasa. Full of Vinyasa “flow” moves, this is a type of yoga that tells someone you’re not brand new to it but you’re not an expert either. I like Vinyasa classes although they can be very challenging for me. How you can tell a Vinyasa class from another yoga class is that you will change positions through a “flow” method of movements that are fairly fast. In addition, there are generally fewer available modifications and breaks.

Ashtanga . Also known as “Power Yoga,” this class is for someone who’s been doing yoga for a while and also incorporates cardio and strength training regularly. It is a physically demanding class and includes jumping from one pose to another, as opposed to “flowing” between them like in Vinyasa. The movements quickly raise your heart rate and there are no breaks. The class is also great for building muscle, as are all yoga classes though.

Bikram. I’m sure you’ve heard of this one, also known as “Hot Yoga.” It was definitely the “hot” thing for a hot minute. Two friends of mine did a “30 classes in 30 days” Bikram challenge a few years ago and came out in great shape. It’s best for anyone who’s done yoga before and who is looking to release tight muscles. In a Bikram class, room temperature is cranked to at least 100 degrees, allowing muscles to warm up quickly and increasing deep stretching and flexibility. Poses are often held for at least one minute, which may not sound like a long time, but if you’ve done yoga, you know it’s more challenging than it sounds. These classes are considered very hard.

My goal now is to return to my yoga classes tomorrow and continue doing them until I get back in the groove. Why? Because it’s good for me and it makes me feel good. Namaste.

It seems like everywhere I look recently, someone I know is celebrating a wedding anniversary.  I previously wrote about a friend celebrating her 25^th anniversary in Disney, and now she is joined by my sister’s recent 41^st anniversary, my friend Jack’s 60^th, and friends in the neighborhood who celebrated their 21^st anniversary…on his birthday! I can’t think of a better birthday present than a best friend for life and soul mate.

Weddings are also all around me right now. Kristen’s friends are getting engaged and my nephew recently got married. This isn’t a blog about getting married though, it’s a blog about staying married. It’s a blog about marriage.

While driving back from Dallas yesterday Bruce Springsteen’s “Tunnel of Love” came on and it got me thinking even deeper about marriage and the state of it in our world. For those of you who aren’t Bruce fanatics like me, The Boss’ “Tunnel of Love” album was written during a time in his life when his marriage was struggling. Listen to words of the title song, “Brilliant Disguise,” “Two Faces” or “One Step Up” and it’s clear the 1987 album is anything but one filled with love songs.

Springsteen is not the only one who would agree that marriage is tough. There is no denying that. Smitty and I are in our 29^th year (more than half my life!) and every day I’m grateful we are not part of the “nearly half of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce” statistic. I’ve always thought anniversaries are a bigger deal than birthdays and no amount of effort to change the definition of marriage or the rise in divorce rates can change that. A married couple makes it through another year? That, my friends says a lot.

My director posted that earlier this week and I really, really like it. It speaks not of perfection but of performance and perseverance, sacrifice and sentiment. It speaks of giving, not receiving. Things that truly help a marriage perform better.

There are many things that contribute to a healthy marriage, including the famous “3 C’s of Marriage:” compassion, communication, and commitment.  Most who claim their marriages are strong say it’s due to the constant presence of trust, respect, selflessness, common interests, a shared faith, honesty, touch, loyalty, a healthy sex life, laughter, and sharing…sharing feelings, sharing joys, and sharing life.

On the flip side, there are certain things that may increase the chances of divorce, including genetics, where you live, income, education level, and family history. No one goes into a marriage with anything less than hopes for a long and happy one but as with any rules, there are exceptions. You would think that after 40 years of marriage one would feel pretty secure in it but that’s not always the case as I just this week discovered when my girlfriend told me her friend’s wife up and left him after 40 years of marriage. Seems she just didn’t want to be married to him anymore. Wow.

Then there’s my friend who recently received a beautiful wedding ring in honor of her and her husband’s 25^th anniversary. This from a man who is not emotional or romantic at all and who totally surprised her with it. Yes it is a stunner of a ring, but that’s not the point. The point is he went out of his way to make her feel special and wanted. It probably could have been cubic zirconia and she still would have appreciated the effort, the gesture, and the words that came with it.

I like to think of marriage as just that: teamwork. Team members don’t necessarily “keep score” all the time though, but instead support each other, help each other, cheer for each other, and value each other’s strengths and weaknesses without demanding equality or superiority. It’s also a sacrament and it is most definitely a gift.

Making someone feel loved and noticed is, in my opinion, also huge in a marriage. But that’s me. Respect and appreciation also rank up there and are all part of the bestselling book “The Five Love Languages.” The book, which millions of couples have read and swear by, works around the premise that unhappiness in marriage often has a simple cause: the husband and wife speak different love languages. Author Dr. Gary Chapman identifies the five love languages as Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Think about it: if your husband only speaks French and you only speak German, you will never understand each other. Literally. Figuratively it’s the same with love languages. If you desire more “quality time” you will not understand his “acts of service” and vice versa. It’s all about “filling each other’s love tank.” If you don’t work to fill it up, kinda like the Marriage Box, it will become empty and ultimately stop working, the results of which are indifference and perhaps even cheating. The mere thought of either makes my skin crawl and my heart ache.

In the end, love is a choice and marriage can be its fabulous reward. You choose how you show that love to the certain someone you chose to share your life with. I’m so happy for all my friends celebrating engagements, weddings, and anniversaries and wish them years of joy, friendship, and a box full of love and respect.

Okay,  I admit it: I’m monogrammed out. Something I’ve always loved is beginning to make me crazy. Why? Because as with any good thing, we are beating a dead horse and in this case its initials are STM as in “Stop The Madness!”

For years I have really, really liked monograms. I love them on robes and towels, stationery and gold charms. I didn’t grow up with monograms and discovered them in college. Maybe it was the preppy ‘80s or maybe it was the Greek life, but it was love at first sight for me. Back then they were reserved for special items but today they are everywhere! On the back of a car? No, no, and just no!

I remember the day when you had to take something to be monogrammed. Today all you need do is step into any gift or home store and voila, anything and everything you want is already monogrammed for you! Wine glasses. Hand towels. Make-up cases. It’s all there ready to purchase. Sigh.

A Royal History

Monograms are considered one of the oldest forms of identification and really took off in the Victorian era. It was then, during Queen Victoria’s reign in the 19^th century that the bourgeoisie took to monogramming everything and anything. Kinda sounds like what’s happening today.

Originally they were used as a sign of royalty and status. It wasn’t uncommon to see a royal or aristocrat’s initials on everything from dishes, to flags, to weapons, to coats-of-arms. Greeks and Romans were even known to put their initials on coins of their ruling entities. Artists in the Middle Ages signed their work with monograms and even today you can often tell when an artist painted something by the initials they used to sign it. For instance, Rembrandt originally signed his works with RH but later switched to RHL.

Technically a monogram is a set of letters combined in a decorative way to identify a person’s belongings. Consider them a type of branding if you will. They have been used for centuries and date as far back as Ancient Greece. I was surprised, however, to learn that the popular three-letter format wasn’t prevalent until the 18^th century.  Before that it was all about only two letters, which British royals still use.

Some of the most famous monograms can be found in the fashion world. Who hasn’t seen one of these logos and said the designer’s name along with it?

Today monogramming is no longer considered a signifier of wealth or status and its popularity is somewhat regional in the U.S. At Book Club this week I heard varied opinions. My friend from Maryland swears by them and gave each of her daughters a signet ring for graduation while another friend from Chicago basically said ixnay on monogramsay.

Good to know that everyone hasn’t jumped on the current monogram madness but enter a store or flip through a catalog and you’ll find choices ad nauseam. Still, in many ways it’s liked by those who are either very traditional or classically old school. I’d say it’s biggest in the south and then perhaps in prepster parts of the northeast.

Two of my favorite designs:

I’ve always considered a monogram somewhat formal and reserved for special items. Monogrammed pillow shams and note cards? Yes, I’m all in. If you have any monogrammed heirlooms from grandma or great Aunt Jean, consider them real keepers.  Monogramming is also a great way to personalize gifts for newlyweds and graduates. But, thinking of monogramming a wall? Think again!

Proper Protocol

In the case of gift giving, it’s recommended you stick with items that can be handed down from generation to generation, like jewelry or silver platters, rather than sweaters or glassware. Monogramming napkins and towels is also very popular. For napkins, place a monogram in the left corner because when folded in a triangle it will appear at the napkin’s point and when folded as a rectangle, it will be on the lower outside corner.

As with anything historic or highly traditional, there is a protocol for what to monogram, how to monogram, and what to leave well enough alone.  Monogram etiquette varies, but some things are tried and true.

Most popular is perhaps the Victorian format where your monogram includes your initials in this order, reading left to right: first name first initial, last name first initial, and middle name first initial with your last name initial slightly larger.  For Jane Ann Smith, the monogram would be JSA. If you prefer to use the same size font on the monogram, do so in your name’s order.  Jane Ann Smith would be JAS with all letters being the same size. Couples are a whole other story.  Tradition is to do the monogram in this order: bride’s first name initial, groom’s last name initial, groom’s first name initial. Thus, Jan and Dan Smith’s monogram would be JSD, with the S being slightly bigger. A bride can also personalize her belongings using her maiden name initial, as in Jane Davis Smith becoming JSD.

Confused? Don’t be. It’s all very simple once you think about it. The fun part is creating designs all your own using the plethora of fonts, styles, and thread colors out there. Ivory and gold is very traditional and according to Jane Scott and Southern Living magazine, is considered the “little black dress” of tablescaping. Other popular twists on tradition are using your entire name or just your last name initial in a bold and eye-catching manner.

Other new takes on the monogram is to incorporate a logo or graphic design with the letters and to use bold and mix-matched color:

When in doubt, think vintage. The older the better. I love the story about writer and monogram devotee Clare Perretta who told Forbes magazine that her initials are CJP, the same as her father’s, because her mom wanted her to be able to use all her dad’s monogrammed items. Genius!

I suggest you have fun with monogramming but don’t go overboard. The final rule of monogramming is to do it discreetly and with discretion.

The title of this blog brings back so many happy memories of that very titled Sunday evening show every week when I was growing up. Long before the days of videos, DVDs, and Netflix, my sisters and I waited to see what wonderful Disney movie was showing that night. I loved it. I loved every minute of it.

Lately I’ve been enjoying looking at posted photos of my friend, her husband, and their son on their recent trip to Walt Disney World. They looked like they were having a great time. Did I mention my friend’s son is 22-years-old and that she and her husband were celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary? In Disney! Seems the magic of the Magic Kingdom doesn’t end when childhood does.

I’m lucky enough to have been to both Disneyland and Disney World. I visited the LA theme park with a high school organization when I was a senior and Smitty and I took Kristen to Orlando when she was younger (see photos below!) I’ve also seen the castle in Germany that inspired Cinderella’s castle, Neuschwanstein. Both Disney visits were so much fun, but I wouldn’t call myself a rabid Disney enthusiast or aficionado. I think I’m in the minority though.

I can only imagine how crowded Main Street is as I write this, as summer is a popular time for families to visit a Disney theme park. So, what better time to blog about all things Disney than now? Not so much a “how to see Disney on a budget” or “secrets to the perfect Disney experience” blog, this is more a “How cool is that?” essay on Disney: the man, the magic, the massive parks, and the myths.

In all, there are five Disney resorts: the original Disneyland in Anaheim, Orlando’s Disney World, and one each in Tokyo, Paris and Hong Kong. There is also a Disney Shanghai currently under construction. All of this would make Walt Disney himself shake his head and pat himself on the back. A common-sense Midwesterner, Disney was a self-made patriotic man who wanted to create someplace where people could “escape.” Needless to say, he was also a mastermind in his field and once Disneyland opened in 1955, the rest as they so eloquently say, is theme park history.

Although Anaheim lays claim to the first Disney theme park, Walt Disney World and its Magic Kingdom are undoubtedly the franchise’s crown jewels. When Walt first saw what was once a swamp in the middle of Florida, I don’t think even he would have ever predicted the place would welcome more than 50 million people every year and become the most visited theme park in the world.

“I would rather entertain and hope that people learned something

than educate people and hope they were entertained.”

Walt Disney

Yes the parks are cheesy but they are also extremely clean and they encourage you to embrace your inner child. Who doesn’t love seeing Winnie the Pooh, Goofy, Arial, and the other hundreds of other beloved Disney characters up close and personal? Old and young can have a great time. If you don’t believe me, just ask my friend Margaret!

As anyone who’s visited WDW knows, the place is ginormous. In fact, it encompasses 40 square miles and takes days to take in. It also can seem larger than life and in some ways, is.

Walt Disney’s genius incorporated a type of optical illusion called “forced perspective”  in planning the park. When you enter Magic Kingdom, the street actually narrows in the distance, creating the impression that shops go on forever and ever before culminating at the castle. In addition, when leaving the park and walking down Main Street, the same architectural trick is used to make the train station appear much closer than it is and buildings along Main Street appear taller than they really are because windows, awnings, signs and fixtures that are up high are way smaller than their counterparts on ground level. Then there’s the castle; WDW’s centerpiece. Although it’s a mere 189 feet high, it seems much taller because the windows, turrets, and bricks decrease in size as they go up and the top spire is half the size it should be so it all seems twice as tall.

All of this takes nothing away from the rides, the shows, and the live entertainment, which are not only savvy but satisfying. It’s not cheap though like it was back on opening day when admission was a mere $3.50. Today those three dollars won’t get you fairy dust. There’s something about the place though. Maybe it’s the magic. Maybe it’s the myths that surround it.

TRUE OR FALSE?

Is the scent of freshly-baked cookies really pumped in and around Main Street? Are the chirping birds really recordings? (The same rumor is said about The Masters golf tournament.)  Maybe I should ask Kristen’s college friend Natalie who worked at Disney. She stayed with us for a few days one summer while she auditioned. She got the part and boy would I love to hear her stories today!

One rumor that is true is that of the underground tunnels. But, these tunnels are simply ways employees…um actually “cast members” as all employees are called…get around the park quickly and efficiently. You can see some of them if you pony up for the five hour “Keys to the Kingdom” tour on which many of the “hidden” Mickey ears are also revealed. Apparently the world’s most famous mouse’s ears can be found hidden throughout the park, including on bricks, vehicle tire treads, windows, gate scrollwork, and even plate arrangements in restaurants.

One thing that’s not a mystery is how clean and impeccably kept WDW is. Walt Disney expected nothing less and his unparalleled attention to detail thrives to this day. You’ll never find gum for sale in a Disney park and garbage will never pile up. Trash, come to find out, is actually sucked through huge tubes under the park and discarded accordingly.

Sadly Walt Disney never got to see any of this, as he died of lung cancer in 1966. He would be so proud of it all though. “It’s A Small World” would undoubtedly enchant him and “Tower of Terror” would perhaps scare him. Me? I’m not a scary ride kind of girl. I hate to go upside down and being scared is not a fun or exciting feeling to me. I waited outside while Kristen and Smitty rode the Tower of Terror but spinning I love! Dumbo and the Tea Cups are my faves as was Splash Mountain. I also loved the Boardwalks and having breakfast with Cinderella in her castle.

Then there’s Epcot, which is twice as big as the Magic Kingdom at a whopping 305 acres. How awesome to visit recreations of nearly 15 countries one day and the next day go on an African Safari in Animal Kingdom. The world is on display at Disney and the world loves coming to it. Amazingly, in the nearly 45 years it’s been open, Walt Disney World has closed only four times. Three times because of weather and on 9/11.

As you enter Walt Disney World, the sign reminds you that it is “where dreams come true” and one of Walt Disney’s most famous quotes was “If you can dream it, you can do it.” His childlike dreams became grown-up realities that generations continue to enjoy. Maybe he was right all along in that all we all need is just a little pixie dust for our dreams to become happy ones.

We’ve all heard the term “metabolism” and that it somehow affects weight gain and weight loss, but what exactly is it?  I just finished reading a very interesting and informative article on the subject in “Redbook” magazine and of course thought, “This would make a great blog!” The article was a roundtable of sorts of various doctors and was full of easy to understand information that I’m hoping clears things up for you as well as it did for me.

Basically, one doctor said, metabolism can be considered your car engine and an engine that is forever running. No idle or neutral here. Just like a car engine, metabolism needs gas to keep going and the faster it goes, the more gas it needs. Just how much fuel your metabolism engine needs depends on how you’re built and how active you are,  Leaner, more muscular people are usually more active and burn more calories so they need more fuel. In other words, they need to eat more. Less active people need less fuel, ie: food.

This is where your basal metabolic rate comes in.  Your BMR is the number of calories you’d burn if you stayed in bed all day and did nothing. It’s basically your body’s resting state and is used to figure out how to lose weight or maintain weight. Don’t fret though, your BMR changes depending on your age, weight, and activity level.

Okay, so what does “boost your metabolism” even mean and why would you want to? Let’s review since it’s often a topic concerning weight loss. Your metabolism is the process of how your body functions and is the rate at which you expend the energy you take in from food. People with high metabolisms tend to be thin but seem to eat everything in sight. Hate them! This could be from genetics or from maintaining a healthy lifestyle and exercise regimen. People with low metabolisms tend to put on weight very easily even when they eat healthy. Of the calories you put into your body, about 60 percent are used by your metabolism and the remaining 40 percent is burned by exercise. Increasing exercise is easy, but since more calories are burned by your metabolism, it is also worth trying to boost your metabolism, which ironically can be done by exercising 4 times a week for one hour…and also eating smaller meals.

So, what to do, what to do now? It’s simple: eat right, workout, and get your rest!

Eat to Win

Let’s start with eating right. To keep your metabolism stable, it’s advised you eat a balanced diet of lean protein as well as fiber-rich good carbs like whole grains, fruits, and veggies. If possible, you should also include a healthy fat at each meal, especially breakfast. Why? Because fiber and good fats work together to boost your metabolism and help you feel full between meals and experience fewer cravings. What you don’t want to do is fall into the no-fat or low-fat approach because these products often have added sugar, which makes your metabolism climb but ultimately crash. Not good, right?

Get Moving!

So, more exercise. How and what though? Think HIIT, as in high-intensity interval training. I remember my wonderful trainer Lauren stressed this too. HIIT basically means short, intense intervals of a specific work-out routine in between slower ones. I’ll use a bike for example. Lauren would have me pedal one minute at a steady pace and then really push it for 15 or 30 seconds, then repeat. Again and again. You can do this running, walking, or on the stair step and treadmill too. This type of work-out burns a huge amount of calories.

Two other tips: include resistance training in your weekly exercise plan, which results in caloric burning even after your session is done. Yet another way to look at it is to think about constantly moving, even in just little ways. This could include taking things up and down stairs, cleaning, gardening, dancing, or anything that gets you moving. Experts call this moving around non-exercise activity thermogenesis, or NEAT, which is the process that produces heat in our bodies, making us expend more energy and increasing our BMR.

Time for Bed

Activity is important to maintaining a healthy metabolism, but so is rest and sleep. Research shows that people who don’t get enough rest have lower levels of ghrelin, the hormone that makes you feel full, and higher levels of leptin, the hormone that controls how hungry you feel. In other words, if you don’t get good sleep, you may always feel hungry and never really feel full. Not all of us need a full eight hours of sleep every night. Quality, not quantity, is the key here. You want to wake up feeling rested and restored.

The Thyroid

Something else that’s connected to metabolism that has always been a bit confusing and mysterious to me is the thyroid. According the article, the thyroid gland is the “master control” of metabolism and something that makes it perform really well and produces thyroid hormone is iodine. We all know where we often get iodine: that little blue tubular box with a girl holding an umbrella on it…salt! What are many of us trying to eliminate from our diets? Salt! Every time I buy salt I wonder why some is “iodized” and whether I should buy it or another type. Now I know. I also like sea salt but guess what, most of it does not contain iodine.

Yes, reducing salt from your diet is probably smart, but eliminating it may not be. Research shows that a lack of dietary iodine may lead to enlargement of the thyroid gland as well as lethargy, fatigue, weakness of the immune system, slow metabolism, autism, weight gain and possibly even mental states such as anxiety and depression.

If you have taken salt out of your diet, you may want to increase your intake of food that contains iodine, like cranberries, strawberries, yogurt, cheese, and potatoes. Eating foods rich in iodine ensures the thyroid is able to manage metabolism, detoxification, growth, and development. Medication can also be subscribed by your physician, but perhaps you could try meditation first, which will help reduce the stress that can wreak havoc on our thyroids.

As with anything, age doesn’t help matters. As you mature, your body secretes hormones that prevent you from feeling full and your muscles become less efficient at burning calories and breaking down glucose. Cool! This is the time to cut back on white foods like bread, pasta, and rice because unlike whole grains, these refined carbs trigger a large release of insulin, which stores fat. One good thing, the resveratrol found in red wine has been shown to help metabolize the sugars you eat so a glass or two may be just what the doctors ordered!

Figuring out Your BMR

Lastly, Redbook included a guide on how to figure out your personal metabolism and how much you need to cut back on “fuel” to lose weight. Again, it’s all in your BMR and here’s how to figure it out:

BMR = 655 = (4.35 x your weight in pounds) = (4.7 x your height in inches) – (4.7 x your age in years.)  Then, multiply that number by one of the numbers below, depending on your exercise routine level:

1.2 – little to no exercise

1.375 – light exercise 1-3 days a week

1.55 – moderate exercise 3-5 days a week

1.725 – hard exercise 6-7 days a week

1.9 – hard daily exercise and a physical job.

The number you get is how many calories you should eat on a daily basis to maintain your weight. If you’re hoping to lose weight, get more exercise and reduce your daily calorie count number by 10 percent.

Get healthy, get moving, and good luck!

Did you see the recent “People” magazine that had a size 22 supermodel on the cover? I did, and to be honest, I’m not sure how I feel about it. Tess Holliday is undoubtedly a gorgeous woman, as proven by this photo:

How about this one:

What about this one:

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about feeling confident in your own skin, but is 5’5” and 280 pounds really something to be proud of? Again, don’t get your size 22 panties in a wad, I’m a full-figured girl myself so “skinnier is better” is not my mantra, but do I wish I was slimmer and healthier? Heck yeah and I’d put my glass house on it that most plus-size women would too! In other words, I know of what I speak…err, write.

If you didn’t see the issue, here are the deets:  29-year-old Tess Holliday has become quite the social media and fashion star by becoming, as “People” dubbed her, “the worlds’ first size 22 supermodel.” Holliday is gorgeous and has overcome a traumatic childhood that included her mother’s death and relentless bullying so the fact that she now is a confident, self-sufficient woman is both impressive and inspiring. Along the way, she’s credited with ushering in the new “body-positive” era and motivating thousands along the way. “The whole reason I do this is to show women that you can be beautiful regardless of your size,” she told “People.” I love the idea that you shouldn’t have to be a size 2 or even a size 10 to be considered beautiful, I just worry about the health issues all this self-acceptance might create.

What about Holliday’s heart? Her knees and her back? I personally know someone who recently had lap band surgery because the weight she was carrying was wreaking havoc on her body. She was too young to be in so much pain. I don’t care how gorgeous or rich you may be, overweight is just not healthy.

Would I feel differently if Holliday wasn’t a tatted up single mother? I honestly asked myself that and the answer was “no.” I firmly believe I would have these same concerns if Holliday was a happily married Christian girl who lived across the cul-de-sac from me. And actually, the more I researched for this blog, the more I had a “you go girl” feeling about Holliday. She’s proud and she’s repping. She’s also found a man who loves her.

The fact that Holliday is a heavily-booked heavy supermodel is – excuse the pun – big news and somewhat good news considering that women who wear size 14 or larger make up 67 percent of the U.S. population. I’m the first one in line to contest the “you have to be thin to be pretty” thinking so when I see someone other than a Kardashian or size 2 celebrity on the cover of any magazine I’m thrilled. Again, I just wonder how big do we want to embrace and does having models like Holliday help the issue or just put more light on the fact that America is overweight? Again, I’m torn. What are your thoughts?

Marilyn. Lovely Marilyn. What would we think of her today? The photo above looks like a “plus size” woman to me! Amen to the many celebs I admire and respect who aren’t size 2s or size 22s. Adele. Barefoot Contessa. Candace Bergen. Kate Winslet. Octavia Spencer. Amen also though to Miranda Lambert and Jennifer Hudson for getting healthy.

Okay, now the kicker. Immediately following the lengthy article on Holliday, “People” included their “Hollywood’s 10 Hottest Bodies” photo essay. Let me just say not one of them was overweight and all of them were either shirtless or scantily clad. All were in tremendous shape and health. You can’t have it both ways “People,” and apparently neither can the rest of us.

They say when it rains it pours and boy has it been pouring. Buckets. Cats and dogs. In fact, it rained the whole time we were in Oklahoma for Kristen’s college graduation the week of May 4 and it pretty much hasn’t stopped since. In both Oklahoma and Texas. Today is May 23.

That first night in Oklahoma we were in Kristen’s bathroom with our pillows and blankets. My 84-year-old mom was a trooper as we huddled together and listened as warnings and watches were broadcast. I’ve always considered Austin’s meteorologists first-class, but I gotta say, those OKC weathermen are game changers and own the weather. I heard terms I’d never heard before: multi-vortex, the dreaded “rope” in a tornado, and power flashes.

Now we’ve lost a car to the rain and subsequent flooding. Yep, while driving in Norman earlier this week, Kristen’s car stalled in high water right on Main Street and is pretty much toast. Thankfully she is fine. She got out, Smitty drove to Norman to pick her up, I met them in Dallas after work, and turned around and brought her home safe and sound. This happened two days before she planned to drive home. Two days. When Smitty called the dealership where it was towed in Oklahoma City, he was told “that car was swimming when it got to us.” Ouch.

Seems we’re all swimming. Just as OU’s big commencement event at the stadium was cancelled because of severe weather, UT’s was cancelled today. Apparently the Red River Rivalry is alive and well albeit a bit wet.

As I write this, it’s pouring outside and there are tornado warnings. Toto, we’re not in Oklahoma anymore but there are still tornados. Needless to say I plan to go nowhere but bed tonight but poor Kristen has friends in from Oklahoma and Tennessee and I’m sure they’re thinking, “Great, more rain!” She’s thinking things I can’t include in this blog.

Having lived in both Oklahoma and Texas for many years, I’m familiar with severe weather, tornados and flash flooding but this is cray cray. What gives Mother Nature?

It all reminds me of a friend’s recent Facebook post about being in Seattle and understanding the reason for their incessant need for coffee: the gray, rainy weather. I feel their rain.

I know, I know: we need the rain. We need it desperately. Our lakes are thrilled. Our lawns are rejoicing. We are grateful in that sense.

But really. This much this often? The local weathermen are now telling us to take cover. Looks like we’re off to the bathroom again with our pillows and blankets. It’s all kinda raining on my parade.

Happy Birthday to me! As I sit here alone this rainy day, I turn to something I’ve turned to for many, many years:  Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s “Gift from the Sea.” Probably my favorite book of all time, “Gift from the Sea” was a gift from a former boss in 1988 whose inscription on it reads, “To Carla on her birthday.  Inspiration for a lovely lady with a lot of success ahead.” Under the inscription are color-coded years I have subsequently read it. I wish I knew where Lori was today so I could tell her just how inspiring her gift turned out to be.

Written by the wife of Charles Lindbergh, “Gift from the Sea” is the author’s own words on life as she refuels and recharges at her beach home. She uses the shells she finds as examples of life’s little changes and struggles. Sounds corny, but it’s anything but. Morrow Lindbergh was an amazing and complicated woman whose life was filled with yes, fame, but many challenges and hurts as well.

“Gift from the Sea” has always been one of my favorite things to give as a present to friends. I gave it to my co-worker and dear friend Karen this month and I of course gave it to Kristen for graduation in hopes that she will read it now, as she embarks on her new and exciting life, and revisit it in years to come. The book was also my Book Club’s choice this month (along with “The Aviator’s Wife,” which I also highly recommend…it’s a novel about Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s life) and as we discussed it and I said I had given it to Kristen, fellow member Jan was adamant that in due time, I give her my old, highlighted, and tattered paperback version. I’d never thought of that but was so moved by the idea.

I read the book when I first got it back in 1988 and have done so again in 1997 and 2007-2009. I opened it once again today, on my birthday, in 2015. It’s one of those books that will mean something different to you each time you read it. Your life changes and the pages inside of “Gift from the Sea” change with it.

That first time I read it I was newly married, “retired” from my TV career, and starting my new PR life. I loved my new job and was loving life. “Gift from the Sea” spoke to me in that the world was my oyster and its shell was open to all possibilities.

Turn to 1997 as I read it again as a new mom. Kristen was a mere three-years-old and suddenly that ocean felt a bit intimidating so I chose to close that oyster shell ever so slightly and take care of my little girl. It was such a wonderful life. Her preschool years brought friends into my life that I’m still close with today and although I didn’t fulfill many professional dreams, I wouldn’t do anything differently. As a former neighbor told me at the time, “You will never regret choosing to raise your daughter yourself.”  How right she was.

The next time I read the book, 2007-2009, a lot was going on in my life. We’d moved to Cedar Park; Kristen was in high school, was driving, and celebrated her “Sweet 16;” and our family was travelling to great places like Cabo and Cayman. Ironically my annual college girls’ trips included the one that really solidified our group, The Cloister in Sea Island Georgia, and Nashville. How ironic that a destination on the sea was so significant for us and that today Kristen is applying for jobs in Nashville. Life was good.  But it wasn’t perfect. What life is, right?

And just like that I find myself in 2015. Kristen just graduated from college, I’m working not in the media or PR field but in a preschool, and am officially 55. Life is still good though, albeit far from perfect. I look forward to reading the chapters on accepting, adapting, finding oneself, and enjoying alone time. My nest may be empty but I refuse to allow my life to feel empty.

As I read the first chapter of “Gift from the Sea” this morning, I dove in to her take on the channeled whelk, which she uses as a representation to find inner peace and simplify your life. Amen sista! She wonders why the snail-like creature that once called the shell her home walked away from it. She notes that simplifying means asking how little, not how much, one can get by with. She writes about how her life has been determined by her background and her childhood, which I too have been doing as I’ve spent time with multiple family members at both my nephew’s wedding and my daughter’s graduation. Morrow Lindbergh longs to remain whole, balanced, and strong. So do I. She concludes that the most exhausting thing in life is being insincere; wearing a mask socially. As we age, don’t we all discover this very thing and shed our masks? I particularly loved her ceiling cobwebs metaphor in that “they soften the hard lines of the rafters as grey hairs soften the lines on a middle-age face.” Back in 1997 that line meant nothing to me.  Today, it means the world.

All of this enveloped my every hope and dream as I read the book with raindrops falling outside and hearing the beeps on my phone from birthday well-wisher. Perhaps the line I loved most was “one should lie empty, open and choiceless as a beach – waiting for a gift from the sea.” On this birthday in 2015, I’ve come to realize what true gifts are.