Beyond Words

I recently saw that meme online and literally laughed out loud as I said to myself, “Yep; they should!” This, mere days after I was grocery shopping and surprisingly heard my all-time favorite Bruce Springsteen song play overhead. I sang along as nope, not “Born to Run” or “Born in the USA” played, but “Growin’ Up.” Yeah, not what you expected but boy was I happy to sing along as I loaded my cart.

 

Music has a way of shaping our thoughts and making our day. It can also literally change lives, which is something I learned from none other than a sweet Hulu movie called “Harmony from the Heart.” In it, “Musical therapist Violet meets handsome doctor Blake while caring for his grandfather. While at first they clash over methods, they soon come to realize that sometimes music is the best medicine of all.” I’ve loved music all my life but I somehow didn’t realize that it can indeed be medicine.

 

According to “Psychology Today,” Music Therapy is a form of treatment that uses music within a therapeutic relationship to help accomplish a patient’s individualized goals. In the movie I watched, an elderly man was showing signs of aging and had suddenly lost the ability to speak. Enter a darling Music Therapist who convinces his “brilliant” but skeptical surgeon grandson and voila, he speaks!

 

 

Not everything has a happy Hallmark ending, but research does show that Music Therapy can help people manage physical pain and can also have powerful and positive effects on psychological health. In fact, it has proven effective in treating health conditions such as cardiac complications, cancer, diabetes, dementia, high blood pressure and heart rates, reduce stress, improve sleep, and boost both memory and cognitive functions.

 

 

 

When it comes to the mind and soul, Music Therapy can also influence one’s mood, boost energy, increase joy and awe, reduce anxiety, alleviate depression, facilitate self-reflection, assist in processing trauma, and can be particularly helpful for people on the autism spectrum. My good friend Judy would likely agree, as she is in a nonprofit group called Love Notes that provides an opportunity for people with memory loss to connect and build community through choral singing. The group is made up of both volunteers, those with memory loss, and their care partners, giving them all a sense of purpose and a glimpse of delight.

 

But back to grocery shopping.

 

 

 

I’m not alone is enjoying a favorite song or two as I’m shopping. Pleasant music is proven to have a mentally soothing effect on people and actually impacts the way they shop. Favorite, familiar, or soothing in-store music lifts a shopper’s mood, making their decision-making on what items go in their carts more intuitive and sometimes even impulsive.

 

 

Research also shows that these happy shoppers have less scrutiny of their purchases, buy more products then perhaps originally planned, and treat themselves to a few indulgences. In fact, in-store music has been shown to increase a shopping bill by more than 10 percent!

 

The power of music is not only therapy and psychology, but also biology. I remember when a friend’s son did a research project on the effects of different types of music on someone while reading. It wasn’t for a music class; but a biology class. Students today, and even dating back to my Millennial daughter’s school years, study with their ear pods in and their music on. Never have I ever.

 

 

 

All of this is not a new concept however. Humans have long appreciated its healing powers and according to the American Music Therapy Association, modern Music Therapy actually began after World War II. It was then that musicians visited hospitals to perform for veterans who afterward showed signs of both physical and emotional healing. This type of therapy is still practiced in many hospitals today as music can stir emotion, prompt discussion, and heal emotional trauma. Music is processed and produced through a different pathway than verbal skills, allowing patients the ability to express themselves, communicate with others, and experience their world as they experience dementia or brain damage.

 

 

Which brings us back to the movie I saw. That’s exactly what happened in the film but if you don’t believe any of this just yet, try remembering the words to a song from way back when and then try to remember what you had for dinner one week ago. Amazing, right?

 

I’ve always loved music, dating back to the Partridge Family albums I still have and the “Best of Bread” album that I coveted for years. Music is powerful. Music is moving. And music helps you move. I can’t imagine a treadmill workout without it and my friend Michelle’s dancercise class gets us moving and is fun!

 

 

So vital is music to me that a highlight of our daughter and my recent trip to London was, yes, all the royal stuff and Wimbledon, but I will forever treasure the joy we experienced seeing Bruce Springsteen live in Hyde Park. Pure. Joy. And, my favorite job ever was that of Publicist at Austin’s Frank Erwin Center. I “had” to work every concert and promote the likes of Cher, U2, George Strait, Bon Jovi, and yes, Springsteen. My dream job? Backup singer in Jimmy Buffet’s Coral Reefer Band. RIP sailor.

 

So, sing away and enjoy all the music out there. As Dick Clark famously said, “Music. It’s the soundtrack of your life,” and now we know it’s also life giving and life affirming. That, my friends, is music to my ears. (so is the fact that I just wrote an entire blog on music and didn’t mention TS once! You’re welcome and yay me!)

 

 

 

 

Earlier today I blogged about St. Valentine and why we celebrate Valentine’s Day but then it dawned on me: yes, today is special because it’s Valentine’s Day but it’s also special because it’s Ash Wednesday and it’s extra special because the two fall on the same day this year. But wait! I’m not supposed to eat all those valentine treats and candies today as I begin fasting for Lent? And what about a nice boned-in ribeye for dinner? Hmmmm…

 

Lucky for me, my husband and I don’t celebrate big on Valentine’s Day because tomorrow is our anniversary and that’s when we do something special. But what about the rest of you lovers of each other and lovers of faith? What to do, what to do, right?!

 

Here’s an idea: let the fact that Ash Wednesday falls on Valentine’s Day this year remind you of the beautiful connection between God’s love and sacrifice. I also love a text I received from my friend Donna suggesting we take today as a message to love everyone and be kind this Lenten season. Lastly, think about reversing it all and since this day of love falls on this day of forgoing vices, plan a Lent that starts  with love as our compass throughout the 40 days ahead.

 

But first, what is Ash Wednesday, why is it celebrated, why 40 days, and what’s with the ashes?

 

 

Ash Wednesday is observed by Catholics, Lutherans, Anglicans, Catholics, Lutherans, Anglicans, and other Christian denominations and is a day of fasting and abstinence from meat. Churches hold masses and services for the distribution of ashes, which are ancient symbols of repentance and remind us of our mortality and the “ashes to ashes” bible verse quoted above. When we receive ashes in the form of a cross on our foreheads, we remember we belong to Christ and we ask Him to develop in us a spirit of humility and sacrifice, much like He did for us.

 

 

 

Ash Wednesday begins the season of Lent, which is 40 days of quiet and reflection leading up to Easter Sunday. Why 40 days? The 40 days are rooted in the biblical usage of the number and its significance throughout. Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt toward the Promised Land, God’s people endure 40 days of challenges from Goliath before David is sent to fight for his people, after His baptism Jesus went into the wilderness for 40 days and 40 nights to battle Satan, and after His crucifixion and resurrection He remained and walked with His disciples for 40 days and nights before ascending to heaven.

 

 

For our 40 days of Lent, we try to slow down and listen to God and we often “give up” things as a way of sacrifice and respect for Jesus’ sacrifice on Good Friday.

 

 

 

Yes, we “give up things” like sodas, coffee, alcohol, social media, TV…whatever we choose…but we also focus on Jesus’ own words regarding the three main disciplines of Lent:  praying, fasting, and giving alms, also known as charity. It is said that prayer demonstrates our relationship with God, fasting demonstrates our relationship with our inner self, and giving alms demonstrates our relationship with others. We might give up sweets or fatty foods but we shouldn’t do it to lose weight necessarily, but rather to hunger for God. As the brilliant Father Jared says, “If you’re not hungry for God, you’re probably too full of yourself.”

 

Okay, we can for sure give up things, but we should also give and do things…good things like:

 

Fast from judging others; feast on loving them

Fast from differences; feast on unity

Fast from perfection; feast on acceptance

Fast from hurting; feast on kind words

Fast from sadness; feast on joy

Fast from thoughts of illness; feast on the healing power of God

Fast from words that pollute; feast on words that purify

Fast from envy; feast on gratitude

Fast from anger; feast on patience

Fast form pessimism; feast on hope

Fast from complaining; feast on appreciation

Fast from worry; feast on trust

 

Here are some more things to give up for Lent:

• Guilt
• Fear
• The need to please everyone
• Envy
• Impatience
• Resentment
• Blame
• Gossip
• Entitlement
• Apathy
• Hatred
• Negativity
• Comparison
• Overcommitment
• Fear of failure
• Feelings of unworthiness
• Doubt
• Self-pity
• Bitterness
• Your comfort zone
• Worry
• Pride

 

Maybe we all just need to slow down and look inward rather than outward and remember the only person you should try to impress is God. Such great ideas for things to fast from during Lent and every day.

 

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! Here’s hoping you’re surrounded by love and all things red and pink.  But, shouldn’t the day’s message of love stick around all year? Long after the roses have died, the cards have been tossed or saved, and candies are long gone, the love behind them should not. That’s how St. Valentine would have wanted it and that’s how he lived. Yes, there was a real man named Valentine and maybe it’s time to learn about him and why we even have a Valentine’s Day.

 

 

Valentine, and yes, that was his real name, was a priest who served in third century Rome. During that time, Claudius II was emperor and at some point decided that single men made better soldiers than those who were married. He outlawed marriage for young men in hopes of building a stronger military but Valentine thought the decree was unfair and wanted to help Christians who were being persecuted so he continued to marry young couples. He strongly believed people should get married and secretly performed weddings throughout Rome. When Claudius found out about this, he sentenced Valentine to prison.

 

 

While imprisoned, Valentine was relentlessly asked to renounce his actions and his faith but he refused. Sent to another prison, Valentine is said to have written little messages to family and friends to let them know he was well and that he loved them. He would also pray with and befriended a guard whose daughter was blind and had asked Valentine to heal her sight. It is said that just days before his execution, Valentine prayed over the girl, touched her eyes, and she regained her eyesight. Word travelled fast, and upon hearing about this, many turned to Christianity.

 

Claudius was not amused or impressed and quickly condemned Valentine to death. The night before his execution, Valentine wrote to the young girl and signed it, “From your Valentine.” The phrase became popular and today is still used on cards everywhere.

 

Stoned and beheaded on February 14, 269, Valentine was buried on the Flaminian Way and a Basilica was erected in his honor.

 

 

Not only is Valentine’s Day a holiday in the U.S., it’s celebrated worldwide. In Japan, chocolate is more beloved than even stateside while in Denmark, flowers are also given to loved ones on the holiday. In both Italy and Germany it’s strictly an adult and “lovers only” holiday while Mexico officially calls it a Day of Love and Friendship. St. Valentine is considered the Patron Saint of Spring in Slovenia but perhaps the holiday is celebrated biggest in France.

 

We all know that Paris is known as the “City of Love” and that couples used to attach locks on the Pont des Arts Bridge and throw keys into the River Seine on Valentine’s Day, but the practice was halted due to the weight of the locks and their potential damage to the historic bridge.  The French village of St. Valentin is decked in flowers on Valentine’s Day and is a popular destination for weddings, vow renewals, and engagements. How lovely would that be?!

 

 

St. Valentine is the Patron Saint of love, young people, and happy marriages, which makes me happy being that I was married a day later on February 15. Considering the fact that Valentine saw to it that couples were united in marriage, it’s quite fitting that the holiday of love is named after him. Valentine’s favorite words were “Love one another as I have loved you” and I’m thinking they’re pretty good words for all of us to live by today and everyday.

I wrap up my Sunday series of “What’s the Difference?” today with a look at mercy vs. grace and a little bit of justice thrown in. Have mercy!

 

Years ago, my family and I were in mass and, during his sermon, beloved Father Elmer stated “A fair is a carnival. Not life.” I never forgot those words even though it’s going on 20+ years since I heard them. I heard them loud and clear.

 

 

 

He was right. Life isn’t always fair including when it comes to mercy and grace. When it comes to life, mercy is considered the act of withholding deserved punishment while grace is considered the act of endowing unmerited favor. In the Christian world however, you could say God is indeed fair as He is both merciful and yearns to give us grace. In both worlds, mercy is compassionate love to the weak and grace is generous love to the unworthy. As weak and unworthy humans, we all need each other’s grace and mercy and most importantly, the grace and mercy of God.

 

Let’s dive deeper.

 

 

The Greek word for mercy is “eleos,” which translated means pity or compassion, while grace in Greek is translated as “charis” or favor. Mercy is also defined as “compassion or forgiveness toward someone who you could otherwise punish or harm.” God shows us mercy by forgiving us. Constantly forgiving us. He shows us grace, defined as “the free and unmerited favor of God and the bestowing of His blessings” by saving us and never giving up on us. Grace is in essence, a true gift from God.

 

 

To be fair, not all explanations of mercy and grace are religious, as literature, movies, and pop culture so vividly demonstrate and the meaning of both words can also vary among different religions. Catholics count both Sanctifying Grace and Actual Grace paramount to our religion as well as both Corporal Acts of Mercy and Spiritual Acts of Mercy. Both mercies are considered necessary, with the first one including food, clothing, shelter, and healing of the sick while spiritual mercy involves showing kindness, giving comfort, praying for someone, and forgiving wrongs.

 

 

We can find numerous references to mercy and grace and God using imperfect people to accomplish His purpose throughout scripture. A group in my neighborhood is currently reading Shannon Bream’s book “The Love Stories of the Bible Speak” and learned that tucked in the somewhat racy story of Sampson and Deliah is a message that God used the very flawed Sampson to save His people. The Old Testament also gives us Abraham, Sarah, Jacob, Moses, Rahab, and others who serve as more examples of this.

 

 

In the New Testament we find Saul, who God converted to Paul the Apostle and author of nearly half of the New Testament, Thomas the doubter who also became an Apostle, the demon-possessed Mary Magdalene who was among the first witnesses of Christ’s resurrection, and Peter who actually denied Jesus but was later told by Him, “And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church,” ultimately leading to Peter being the first Pope of that very Catholic church.

 

 

Mercy and grace also free us from perfectionism, pride, and rebellion and keep us from becoming obsessed with things of this world. God offers them to us for free, but to possess them we need humility. And, as we are given mercy and grace, God also wants us to show both to others.

 

 

 

I hear it and say it often, the likes of “She was rude to us but let’s give her grace as she was maybe having a bad day.” “Giving grace” in this case is on our part and is nothing more than giving someone a pass and not wishing ill on them. Jesus instructed this in the form of mercy in none other than His Sermon on the Mount when He also gave us The Beatitudes in which He revealed, among other things, “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.”

 

 

Which, brings us to justice and how it differs from mercy. In the perfect world, anyone who makes a mistake or commits a crime should pay the price, right? In today’s world that doesn’t seem to currently be the case but we won’t go there right now. Afterall, isn’t justice one of the fundamental concepts for a civil society; at least one governed by moral leaders, and the rule of law?

 

Think of the scales pictured above. They are often used as a symbol of justice as with perfect justice, it is blind and an equaling of sorts; not favoring one person over another for any reason but instead giving everyone an equal chance, equal justice, and letting the equal results fall as they may.

 

 

God actually goes beyond justice with His mercy and forgiveness and His justice is actually mercy given to all of us as a grace. And, justice has a side other than punishment. It is also lifting up those who are abused, exploited, hungry, and overlooked. We all have a role of bringing justice to this world and demanding it be done. As in the end, “Those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted,” Matthew 23:12.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is part 2 in my Sunday series of “What’s the Difference?” Last week I wrote about the difference between faith and believe and today it’s all about joy and happiness. Enjoy!

 

 

 

It seems like just yesterday we were all singing “Joy to the World” and wishing each other comfort and joy. Christmas is a time of glad tidings and cheer but what about joy? Or is it just happiness? “Just” happiness? Carla, what are you saying?

 

I’m saying there’s a difference between joy and happiness and they’re both something we should strive for.

 

 

 

I saw that mountain smile at me on an Alaskan cruise and it made me smile back. It made me happy. We all want to be happy and we all want to experience joy. In fact, you could say we are often preoccupied with them and that decisions we make, even dumb ones, are in pursuit of one if not both. But as we aim for happiness what we might really be searching for is joy. Newsflash: happiness and joy are not the same things.

 

 

 

Webster defines joy as a feeling of great pleasure and delight. Happy, on the other hand, is defined as a feeling or showing pleasure or contentment. Happiness is generally fleeting and temporary while joy is a true sense of utter and permanent delight. When things go well you are happy but if you have true joy, you remain in that state even when things aren’t going so well. Maybe because you have faith? And hope? And trust?

 

 

 

Another key difference between the two are their source. Happiness is typically reached externally through things like possessions, success, or special events. Joy, on the other hand, is more internal and spiritual and gained from inner guidance and peace. Happiness also tends to look at life through the here and now and on a surface level while joy looks more at the long-term picture.

 

 

 

It’s often said that happiness is a journey, not a destination, and whoever said that is right! Happiness is basically the feeling that you’re living a fulfilling life and is said to have three components:

 

• Emotional well-being. The presence of positive emotions like gratitude and hope and the absence of negative feelings like anger, anxiety, and sadness.
• Finding things and activities that fully engage your attention and pique your interest.
• The sense that your life has purpose or significance.

 

 

 

We experience happiness when our circumstances are pleasant and we’re relatively free from troubles. When circumstances change though, as they inevitably do, that happiness evaporates. We might say or convey we’re happy, but deep down we may be hurting, worried, or angry.

 

 

 

 

Taking a nap can make you happy, as can eating a delicious meal, getting a job you’d hoped for, giving birth to a child, travelling somewhere you longed to, being around trusted and loyal friends, or when your favorite team wins a game. Then, they lose the next game and your happiness is gone. The feeling is gone. I speak from experience here. Have been there many times!

 

 

 

Joy, on the other hand, is not a temporary jolt of emotion and needs no outward stimulation. It is profound, resonates deep in our soul, and encompasses more than just a moment of pleasure or satisfaction. It springs from a deep sense of contentment or fulfillment and it endures in any circumstances regardless of what may come your way. In fact, it may grow stronger in adversity.

 

Not only do we all want to be happy and joyful, we all probably also want to be one of “those” people who radiate a sense of bliss and blessedness. So how do we get there?

 

 

 

 Maybe we should ask the Danes, as Denmark often ranks as one the happiest countries on earth. Their concept of prioritizing social connections and community support even has its own word: “hygge.” Danes firmly believe that coziness and togetherness contribute to overall happiness and make it a point to have their homes, offices, and anything else follow the hygge model.

 

We could also ask Spanish speaking countries as my friend Paula so brilliantly pointed out when I was telling her I was working on this blog. She reminded me that “estar contenta” and “ser feliz” may seem like duplicate Spanish phrases, but they’re not. To know this, you have to understand the difference between both ser and estar and contento and feliz. Vamanos!

 

“Contenta” is usually tied to shorter spans of time. You can be “contenta” because you passed an exam for example. “Feliz” is used for both short and long periods of time and is generally viewed as a stronger feeling.

 

You can say “estar contenta” and “estar feliz” and can also say “ser feliz” but not “ser contenta.” Ser refers to defining characteristics while estar refers to states and conditions. Contento is the state of being happy and is almost always used with estar. Feliz is a characteristic of being happy and traditionally used with ser. It’s also my niece’s middle name!

 

 

 

It’s important to remind ourselves that God wants us to be happy. Throughout scripture Jesus talks about joy and Galatians 5:22-23 spells out that the Fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Is “happy” on that list? Nope. Is “joy?” Yep. To experience joy, true joy, you need the Holy Spirit. In your life. In your heart. In your soul.

 

 

Best-selling author of “The Purpose Driven Life” Ken Warren came up with a definition of joy after studying scripture. He writes, “Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be alright, and the determined choice to praise God in every situation.” Amen to that!

 

 

 

Linus gets it, right? They say truly joyful people let insults role off their backs, are generally kind and gentle and are, for lack of better words, a joy to be around. I think of my brother-in-law Frank here. Frank, who happens to be a Catholic deacon, rarely gets flustered or angry, has gallantly lived through many a tragedy, and is pleasant to share company with. He’s got it. He gets it.

 

 

 

We should also long to spread happiness and scatter joy as described in James 1:2. “Happy is the person who has learned the secret of being content with whatever life brings and then shares this secret with other who need encouragement.” Encourage others. Show them joy.

 

 

 

In the end and regardless of their differences, it’s important that we make room for both happiness and joy in our lives as both are positive and uplifting emotions and have their place in creating an emotionally-balanced and fulfilling life. That, makes me happy and brings joy to my heart.

 

Thirty days has September,
April, June, and November,
All the rest have thirty-one,
Save February at twenty-eight,
But leap year, coming once in four,
February then has one day more.

 

We’ve all heard that rhyme, right? My husband and I were just talking about it the other day and of course I can never remember it correctly. But I do remember that 2024 is a Leap Year so happy February; a February that has one day more!

 

But you already knew that, right?

 

But, did you know a non-leap year is called a common year and that February 29 is called Intercalary Day? And, did you know a Leap Year occurs every four years? Okay fine, you’re on top of that. But, do you know why? Gotcha? Maybe?

 

 

Well, a Leap Year happens in order to help synchronize the calendar year with the solar year, which is the length of time it takes the earth to complete its orbit around the sun. The calendar we use is called the Gregorian calendar and was put into place by Pope Gregory XIII in 1582. On this calendar, every year divisible by four has an extra day and is called a “Leap Year.” Century years are the exception to the four year rule though, as they must be divisible by 400 to be Leap Years.  This is why the year 2000 was a Leap Year but 1900 wasn’t and why 2400 will be one but not 2100.

 

But what’s in the name “leap?”

 

The name is thought to have come from the fact that, while a fixed date in the Gregorian calendar normally advances one day of the week from one year to the next, the day of the week in the 12 months following a Leap Year will advance two days, thus “leaping” over one of the days.

 

 

But why always in February?

 

Some historians credit Julius Caesar when he gained power and reconfigured the then Roman calendar. He aligned the length of a year with the sun, giving each year 365 days but for reasons unknown, he left February at 28 days. Others say the month was selected kinda randomly and it just stuck.

 

Okay, so what happens if you’re born on a Leap Day?

 

Codes vary state-by-state as to when a leap baby or “leapling” celebrates his or her birthday, but most consider March 1 as the day. Interestingly, there is a 1 in 1,500 chance of being born on a Leap Day and babies born on one are thought to have special talents according to astrologers.

 

 

Other myths and legends about a Leap Year and Leap Day in particular include the Irish “Bachelor’s Day” legend that declares St. Brigid opened up the gates for women to propose marriage to men on a Leap Day after she struck a deal with St. Patrick as a way to balance the traditional roles of men and women in society. Boy was she a woman ahead of her time! This tradition is still occasionally observed in England but in neighboring Scotland, February 29 is often considered as unlucky as Friday the 13^th.

 

 

 

Coincidentally, Leap Years almost always coincide with U.S. election years, as is the case this year, and often times with Olympic years as well, also this year. The next three leap years will be 2024, 2028, and 2032.

 

If you’re looking for a way to celebrate Leap Day, what better way than with the official Leap Day Cocktail? Invented by bartender Harry Craddock of London’s tony Savoy Hotel in 1928, it is considered a martini-like drink and is said to have been responsible for more proposals than any cocktail ever mixed according to the “Savoy Cocktail Book.”  Here is the original recipe:

 

 

Craddock’s Leap Day Cocktail

1 dash lemon juice
2/3 gin
1/6 Grand Marnier
1/6 sweet vermouth

Shake, serve, garnish with a lemon peel.

 

Enjoy and Happy Leap Year!

 

Last week I blogged about the differences between a bevy of things like mayo vs. Miracle Whip, plaid vs. tartan, broth and stock, and other things. Today, being Sunday, I thought I’d keep the theme going by looking into belief vs. faith (with some hope and trust thrown in) and I have faith you’ll believe it’s all very interesting!

 

 

You could say believing makes faith possible, but it goes deeper than that. You can believe in something but you may not have faith in it. Think sky diving. You believe it’s possible but do you have faith that your chute will open and you’ll land safely? You can believe in God but lack true faith that all is in His hands. That’s where trust come in.

 

 

As the saying goes, you build trust, and faith without trust is no faith at all. Faith always has an object. The object of Christian faith is Jesus. In fact, the biblical definition of faith requires trust and Webster defines faith as “belief and trust in…” name your object here. In that skydiving example, you need to trust the pilot and the equipment before having faith that all will go as planned.

 

Belief is the first foundation of faith and commonly defined as the acceptance and conviction of something true. For Christians, it encompasses the core doctrines of the faith, including the existence of God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. Our personal beliefs shape and influence our values, priorities, and decisions. This holds true for civilization in general. Or so we hope. We believe murder is wrong, so we don’t do it. We believe too much sugar is bad so we eat too much of it. Our beliefs make us who we are. And I truly believe that.

 

 

Trust, on the other hand, is the second critical aspect of faith. When you trust someone, you open yourself up to a relationship that may include vulnerability, honesty, and allowing them to have a significant impact on your life. Hmmm…same with God. By placing our trust in Him we rely on Him to fulfil His promises and we open ourselves up to His influence, allowing Him to shape and transform us.

 

 

The third critical aspect of faith is hope: the belief in a positive outcome despite present circumstances. Hope provides us with the strength to endure difficult circumstances and persevere through trials. Christians center their hope around the promises of God and have hope in Him that we can endure any hardship because we have faith that He is in control and has a plan for our lives. We are not alone.

 

Many credit Judaism for giving us the gift of hope. The teaching is that western civilization is the product of two cultures: ancient Greece and ancient Israel. The Greeks believed in fate: the future is determined by the past. Jews believed in freedom: there is no ‘evil decree’ that cannot be averted. The Greeks gave the world the concept of tragedy. Jews gave it the idea of hope.

 

Think about it. Old Testament scripture gave us the hope of everyone from Abraham to Moses to Hannah not to mention the trust of Noah.

 

 

And who can blame them as their history is full of reasons to be hopeful, even in the darkest of times. They’ve been forced into exile, lost their homeland, have historically been oppressed, are told they as a country should not exist (even to this day and even though it existed in the Bible), and of course, the Holocaust. You would think they’d give up hope, but they don’t.

 

 

Christian, Jew, or otherwise, it’ll be a tough life if you give up hope. It all begins with belief and trust that work together to build the foundation of faith and give us hope. Are you ready to jump? Do you believe, trust, and have faith that God will catch you? I sure hope so.

 

Next up: Joy vs. Happiness and later, Mercy vs. Grace.

 

 

 

 

 

 

If there’s one thing I love, I love chicken salad. I had some for lunch today and would eat it regularly if it were around. Store-bought is good stuff but not always healthy stuff so I prefer to make my own. I kinda improvise with whatever I have on hand but, in addition to the requisite chicken, I like adding grapes, celery, and hard-boiled eggs. I stir it all up with mayonnaise.

 

 

 

Good ole mayo. What would we do without it, right? Well growing up I did without it because we were a solid Miracle Whip house. My mom used it for everything: potato salad, sandwiches, and certain sauces. My husband, on the other hand, grew up in a mayo house. So, what’s the difference between the two and can you use them interchangeably? I guess it depends on who you ask as preferring one or the other is a near religious experience.

 

Mayonnaise is often called the planet’s most versatile condiment; and with good reason. It’s a staple in salad dressings, on sandwiches, in everything from chicken salad to macaroni salad, and in the moistest of chocolate cakes. It also forms the base for various sauces such as tartar sauce, remoulade, ranch dressing, and rouille. But what is it and what is it that makes it so legendary?

 

Mayonnaise may have its origins in the ancient remoulade and another hypothesis is that it was derived from aioli. Where it came from is up for culinary debate, with both Spain and France laying claim to its creation.

 

 

What was created by whoever is a combination of oil, water, vinegar, and egg. The key is that, unlike salad dressings that separate, the egg in mayonnaise emulsifies, creating a thick and spreadable, well, spread. Many people make their own mayo and I’ve heard it’s fairly easy to do, but if you want to sell your ware and label it “mayonnaise,” there are rules. FDA regulations state that anything labeled as “mayonnaise” must contain 65 percent vegetable oil by weight. This, my friends, is what separates the mayo from the Miracle Whip.

 

 

 

Described as “the one-of-a-kind taste of creamy mayo and tangy dressing” on its labels, Miracle Whip was developed as a cheaper alternative to mayonnaise during the Great Depression. Launched in 1933 at the Chicago World’s Fair, it’s not just a brand name but a completely different product then mayonnaise. Yes, it also contains oil, water, vinegar, and egg, but water, sugar, and spices as well. The added sugar makes it perfect for dishes like macaroni salad and tangy cucumber salads. It’s technically not considered a mayonnaise at all but rather a “dressing” by the FDA. This explains why generic or store brands are called “salad dressing.”

 

 

 

How it got its name is equally interesting. According to Kraft archivist Becky Haglund Tousey, Kraft developed the product using a patented “emulsifying machine” invented by Charles Chapman. The goal was to create a product that blended mayonnaise with less expensive salad dressing and the machine used to do so was dubbed “Miracle Whip” by Chapman.

 

 

In general, mayonnaise is described as richer and with a lightly sour taste and eggy aroma while Miracle Whip is considered sweeter and spicier. Texture-wise they are very similar and either can work the same in most recipes. For baking however, it’s recommended you use full-fat mayo and know that anything other than full-fat mayo, including Miracle Whip, can separate and become greasy when exposed to heat.

 

When it comes to nutrition, Miracle Whip contains almost half the fat and caloires of mayonnaise but has more sugar than most brands of mayo.

 

So, there you have it; the answers to the burning questions regarding mayonnaise and Miracle Whip.

 

All this got me thinking of other “what’s the difference” ponderings, both in the kitchen and out. Let’s dive in…

 

 

 

What’s the Difference Between Tartan and Plaid?

I love them both but did not know that all tartans are plaid but not all plaids are tartans. Here’s why: all plaids and tartans are comprised of stripes that meet at a 90-degree angle. Tartans only have a geometry in their pattern with the stripes running vertically being exactly duplicated on the horizontal axis too. When looking at a simple plaid, you’ll notice the stripes in color, size, or pattern aren’t the same in both directions.

 

 

What’s the Difference Between a Farmhouse and Apron Sink?

You see them everywhere as they are the sinks of choice of late, but are they the same? The answer is no.

 

A farmhouse sink is always an apron sink but an apron sink is only a farmhouse depending on the material it’s made from. Though a farmhouse sink is often referred to as an apron or apron front sink, an apron sink is never called a farmhouse sink.

 

 

Historically, farmhouse sinks were constructed from cast iron or porcelain. Both sinks share similar characteristics, namely their deep basins, large size, and exposed fronts, but purists will argue that it isn’t a true farmhouse sink unless it’s made from a certain materials like porcelain and has an integrated workstation. The basic identifying feature of a farmhouse sink is its appearance and it’s traditionally installed to look like a seamless part of the countertop.

 

 

As opposed to the drop in style of farmhouse sinks, an apron sink’s primary identifying feature is its design. You have to slide an apron sink in from the front and it is installed under the countertop. Both farmhouse and apron sinks also stand apart from other sinks because they have an exposed front (also known as the apron). In general, apron sink hardware is drilled into the countertop behind the sink, while farmhouse sinks come with holes pre-drilled into the deck or backsplash.

 

When all is said and done, apron-front sinks are merely a contemporary farmhouse sink: they share the telltale exposed front-facing panel that farmhouse sinks have as well as a single and large tub, but are constructed from updated materials like stainless steel, cast iron, and natural stone.

 

 

 

What’s the Difference Between Chicken Broth and Stock? And What About Boullion?

Technically, stock is not the same as broth. Stock and broth differ in terms of their thickness and ingredients as broth is made from meat and vegetables while stock is made with bones. While both are flavorful, broth tends to be thinner.

 

Stock, typically thick and gelatinous, is made from animal bones like chicken, beef, and even fish and is generally unseasoned and unsalted. It is rarely recommended for consuming as is and is more often used as an ingredient. It makes a good base for gravy, rich sauces, and soups and is useful for de-glazing a pan for a quick sauce.

 

Broth, generally thinner in texture, is made with animal meat and is always seasoned. When chilled, broth doesn’t gel the way stock does. Light, thin, and full of flavor, broth tastes good on its own or as a base for all kinds of soup.

 

 

In most cases, stock and broth are interchangeable and wither will do for making soup, gravy, or a flavorful pot of rice or grains. When substituting stock for broth in a recipe, however, you might want to add a little salt and cut back on it or water it down when using broth instead of stock.

 

In general…

• Stock and broth are equally great for thinning out sauces, making risotto, or as a base for quick soups.
• Broth is better for consuming as is because it has seasoning that makes it tastier on its own.
• Broth may be preferred as a flavor enhancer for cooking plain white rice or grains.
• Stock may be better to use in a recipe with a complex flavor profile that you don’t want to tamper with.
• Stock contains more calories, fat and carbohydrates than broth. But it also contains more protein, vitamins and minerals.

And now for bouillon. One bouillon cube or 1 teaspoon of granules dissolved in 1 cup of boiling water may be substituted for 1 cup of broth in any recipe. It is a condensed cube or powder derived from dehydrated broth and can be added as a burst of flavor to many recipes. Ultimately it is the same as broth and stock but with key notable differences in taste and texture. Bouillon cubes or powder also have significantly more amounts of sodium.

 

What’s the Difference Between Metaphors, Similes, Idioms, and Aphorisms?

Metaphors & Similes

A metaphor is a word or phrase typically used to describe one thing but unexpectedly used to describe something different. Metaphors make us aware of connections that we may not have thought of before. “He was drowning in paperwork” is a metaphor that makes a connection between having to deal with a lot of paperwork and drowning in water.

 

A simile is figure of speech in which two essentially unlike things are compared using the words like or as.  Examples are “hard as a rock,” “clear as mud,” “like the back of my hand,” and “he stood out like a sore thumb.” While a simile makes comparisons with help from like or as, a metaphor states outright that one thing is another thing.

 

 To compare these forms of comparisons, here are some examples:

Life is like a box of chocolates. (Simile)

My life is an open book. (Metaphor)

That baby is as cute as a button! (Simile)

Baby, you’re a firework. (Metaphor)

Fun fact: Because they both make figurative comparisons, all similes are metaphors, but not all metaphors are similes.

 

Idioms

An idiom is an expression that conveys something different from its literal meaning and that can’t be guess from the meanings of each word in it. Examples are “between a rock and a hard place” and “butterlies in my stomach.”

 

Aphorisms

memorable expression of a general truth or principle. Aphorisms are often handed down by tradition from generation to generation. They are pithy observations with a general truth and a flowery opinion that’s true such as “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

 

 

 

What’s the Difference Between Cross-Stitch, Embroidery, and Needlepoint?

This one caught my eye because I love to cross-stitch but have never needlepointed. As I watch shows like “The Gilded Age” and “Belgravia” I often see the women stitching something and am thinking it’s probably needlepoint. Let’s look deeper…

 

Embroidery refers to hand-stitching a design onto fabric with embroidery floss or perle cotton. Needlepoint is a technique in which thick fibers like yar ae stitched onto a stiff canvas using a blunt needle to mimic the look of tapestry. Cross-stitch, as the name implies, is a simple X-shape stitch made with embroidery floss on many different kinds of fabrics but most frequently on Aida cloth, an open-weave fabric with a natural grid that helps keeps stitches even.

 

 

 

What’s the Difference Between a Hamster, Gerbil, and Guinea Pig?

Okay, full disclosure here, I am not a fan of any of the above and personally think everyone should instead opt for a dog as a pet but I am interested in learning what these popular critters are. I do know they’re all rodents and wonder why anyone would choose to have a rodent in their home, but here you go.

 

Gerbils apparently sleep in bursts but are generally active while Guinea pigs tend to have a bit more personality than either gerbils or hamsters. They do require a specific diet and daily vitamin C supplements though. The average lifespan of a Guinea pig is five-to-seven years as opposed to two years for hamsters and gerbils. Hamsters are super fragile, die more quickly, are nocturnal, and will be happy as a (Guinea) pig in mud living as a single pet while guineas and gerbils tend to thrive better in multiples.

 

How guinea pigs got their names is widely disputed, both the “guinea” part and the “pig” part. Despite their name, guinea pigs are not native to Guinea, nor are they closely related to pigs. Size-wise, they are much larger than hamsters and gerbils and don’t have tails whereas gerbils have long tails and hamsters have stubby little ones less than an inch long.

 

Guinea pigs love to squeal and tend to keep their eyes open while sleeping to protect themselves from predators that may attack them. They and hamsters don’t have good eyesight, but hamsters’ eyes are worse than guinea pigs. They can see clearly during the night but come morning they see very poorly.

 

So, did you learn anything interesting or fun here? I hope so. I sure did!

 

 

With the start of a new year, we’re all clamoring away at sticking to our New Year Resolutions and hoping to stay on track this time around. A lot of those resolutions may have to do with pairing down with buzz words like simplicity and minimalism. I personally love the simple life but I’m not much of minimalist. I have, however, found a liking to the “quiet luxury” fashion trend. I’m not one for trendy fashion at all, so I use the term “trend” lightly here, but this IYKYK trend is one I’m on board with.

 

 

It’s called “quiet luxury” but I’m hearing it loud and clear. So, what is it exactly? It’s kinda hard to describe but one thing most agree on is that it’s absolutely 100 percent logo-less. It’s understated, timeless, and chalk-full of functional and chic pieces that never go out of style. It’s not focused on flaunting brands but instead on craftmanship and class. It’s also anything but ostentatious, flashy, or skin-baring. The goal is to make a presence without making noise. You never, ever want to be accused of RIT (Rich in Theory) or PDW (Public Display of Wealth.) You could say French women have been doing this effortlessly elegance all along. Tres chic!

 

 

Basically, it’s leaving all those labels and logos in your closets and opting instead for understated elegance and refined taste. The style mania days of Gucci belts and logo-laden bags are back in the closet and styling options are now packed with closet classics and endless elegance. It’s not quite minimalism as its more polished and stylish. In a nutshell, think a quality investment coat thrown over stylish jeans, a cashmere sweater, and Tod’s loafers while carrying a logo-less bag.

 

 

TV-wise, think more “Succession” and less Dorit on “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” who seems to always have at least one logo on and multiple logos most of the time on as seen above and who once was quoted as saying “I believe in an excess of everything except moderation.” We get it, you have money but as the old saying goes, “Old money and no money are the same. You don’t talk about it.”

 

 

 

 

Enter the Roy family from “Succession.” I loved the HBO drama as did millions, and the low-key but high-dollar clothes cast members wore resulted in “Succession Fashion” considered the way to dress. The show centered around the billionaire Roy family that was as notorious for its quiet luxury fashion as it was for under the table deals and private jets. Son Kendall’s $600 Loro Piana cashmere baseball cap broke the internet while daughter Shiv’s trademark Katharine Hepburn-esque high-waisted pants and well-made suits became her trademarks. Family patriarch Logan Roy was not to be left behind and his classic cable knit sweaters embodied old money style. Never was a Roy draped in glitz or glam and they even made fun of a date’s Burberry bag (I love Burberry!) brought to a semi-formal gathering.

 

 

Also called stealth wealth in that luxury pieces worn fly under the radar, quiet luxury is anonymously chic, expensive but inconspicuous, and rejects any desire to show off. It conveys expensive and tasteful and is not about what you have or wear, but what you don’t.

 

Now granted, not everyone can afford $600 baseball caps or custom-tailored suits, but you can stick to the basics of this very basic kind of style. Your goal is to convey a mood more than a flash and put together an effortlessly elegant look that will stand the test of time. It’s almost like what you don’t wear speaks volumes.

 

 

 

Three women who have played big roles in this trend are Ivanka Trump, Gwynneth Paltrow, and Sofia Richie Grainge. Paltrow turned heads in her appropriately pared-down looks during her recent court appearances and love her or hate her or her dad, one must admit Ivanka has a style we can all love. Sleek, often monochromatic, and not a logo in site as shown in these photos, the former First Daughter should top any “best dressed” list if one is being honest and unbiased.

 

 

 

Then there’s Gen Z style icon and daughter of Baby Boomer Lionel Richie, Sofia, who made fashion waves and headlines last year for her wedding, especially among her generation who was both drawn to and surprised by her classic look and choices. For someone who could afford literally any dress in the world, her custom Chanel couture dress was undoubtedly uber expensive and yet it was also simple and unpretentious. Hair and make-up also come into play when talking quiet luxury, and Sofia’s for the entire weekend were simple and clean. Gone are the days of lengthy false lashes and overdone faces. In are days of tasteful, matte make-up and natural-look faces. Sofia’s everyday style continues this timeless sophistication and this Boomer loves it.

 

 

Okay, so if you’re not the daughter of a mega-star or mega-millionaire, how can you tag onto the quiet luxury look? (Personally if I were, I would be choose Carolina Hererra as my go-to. As photographed above, she is always classy, simple, and timeless.) Think elevated basics and clothes that whisper such as well-made sweaters; chic blazers; simple white tees; button down shirts; classic pants and jeans; cozy knits; sleek flats, loafers, or pumps; and layers…layers upon layers. And, minimalist accessories are mandatory. Maybe a nice watch, treasured ring, diamond stud earrings, or a piece of legacy but discreet jewelry. Period. No mas. Come to think of it, all of this describes my college friend Christie to a tee…excuse the pun. Always chic but never flashy, Christie epitomizes quiet luxury and has done so for years.

 

“Luxury” at one time was defined as anything exclusive and expensive, but thanks to the mass and counterfeit markets, what was once treasured is now touché and can be seen at any mall, airport, restaurant, or gym. Enter quiet luxury, which is a more low-key approach to, well, luxury.

 

 

So why a quieted down luxury and why now? Many credit the current economic challenges many are facing with trend forecasters dubbing it “recession core.” The state of our country and world the past couple of years is heavily influencing how people are dressing. I prefer to think that those with money are also trying their hardest not to rub it in the noses of those gasping at gas pumps and grocery stores, paying mortgages that equal many a high-end purse, and otherwise wondering what’s next. Flaunting extreme wealth is not only tacky but tone-deaf as well.

 

 

 

Brand-wise, all quiet luxury eyes are on The Row, Bottega Veneta, Khaite, Tod’s, Loro Piana, Brunello Cucinelli, and the always classic Ralph Lauren. Again, not affordable to most, but mass marketers like Chico’s, Alice Walk, Talbot’s, Ann Taylor, J. Crew, Lands End, department stores like Nordstrom’s, and even Old Navy offer classic styling at a fraction of the cost. Who can ever forget Sharon Stone’s brilliant pairing of a Gap shirt with a designer skirt for the Oscars? Still one of my favorite looks ever. Fabric-wise, cashmere is king as are silk, and Vicuna wool but one can make do without them just fine if unaffordable.

 

 

Then there’s color, or actually lack thereof. Camel and all things soft beiges, light creams, and pristine whites join rich blacks and chocolate browns to create the look, leaving behind anything bold or bright. It’s all about neutral tones, quality materials, and investment pieces. Focus on thoughtful shopping not trends or flash. Always remember that Gluttony and Pride are two of the Seven Deadly Sins while Humility is not. If anything, keep this in mind: fashion is what you buy. Style is what you do with it. Fashion is fleeting. Style in timeless.

 

 

 

I’ve never been a big trend follower and I love my khaki, white, and black clothes but I will say I also like to add a fun stripe or plaid and maybe even some floral now and then. I like the quiet luxury idea but I also like to have a little fun with my wardrobe. I suggest taking from all of this whatever you like but, in the end, you be you. As my daughter so brilliantly told me one time, “wear what makes you feel pretty.” Amen!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m a big calendar girl (as in I love calendars not that I’ve been in one!) and thoroughly enjoy getting a new calendar for an upcoming year. I do so every fall and love filling in all the birthdays, events, and holidays. Interestingly enough, did you know 2024’s calendar is exactly the same as that of 1996? I guess you could reuse the 1996 version, but who has one laying around? Not even me! But, just for fun, let’s compare the two years.

 

Both years were leap years with the new year starting on a Monday.

 

And, it’s no secret that this year is a (huge) election year and so was 1996. But, let’s not go there.

 

Instead…

 

Both years are also Olympic years. Paris will host the 2024 games while in 1996 they were in Atlanta. What I remember most about the 1996 games was the “Magnificent Seven,” the women’s gymnastics team that won the team gold medal. As amazing as that feat was, what most people remember is Kerri Strug.

 

 

With the USA in the hunt for the team gold medal but with only a narrow lead over Russia and Romania going into the final rotation, Strug, a vault specialist, landed poorly on her first attempt, injuring her left ankle. Strug hobbled to her the final vault, landed, hopped slightly on her one good leg, scoring a 9.712 and clinching the gold medal for the US.

 

American women also captured team gold medals in basketball, soccer, and softball, helping the host nation lead the medal table for the first time at a non-boycotted games since 1968, and US swim teams captured a pool-full of medals.

 

Track and Field had its own star in Michael Johnson of the U.S. Michael Johnson of the U.S. who swept the 200 and 400 — shattering the 200-world record with a time (19.32) that would stand for more than a dozen years. American Carl Lewis wrapped up his brilliant Olympic career with a fourth straight gold in the long jump.

 

It all started with swimmer Janet Evans and Muhammad Ali lighting the Olympic torch to commence the games. After Ali’s death in 2016, two banners flanked his coffin at his funeral service: the American flag. and the Olympic flag.

 

Sadly, the games were also known for tragedy when an explosion rocked Centennial Olympic Park

 

 

Pop culture wise, “Home Improvement,” “Friends,” and “Seinfeld” were the popular TV shows of the time and photos of their casts were also popular calendar subjects. How TV viewing has changed in the 28 years that have passed.

 

 

 

On the big screen Tom Cruise was everywhere…including in calendars…as both “Mission Impossible” and “Jerry McGuire” were released that year. Who can ever forget “Show me the money?” and whose heart didn’t melt at “You had me at hello?” Other screen toppers were “Independence Day,” “The English Patient,” and “Happy Gilmore.” Quite the range of subject matters!

 

 

In the world of music, country was hot thanks to George Strait, Reba McEntire, Brooks & Dunn, and my favorite, Mary Chapin Carpenter. On the pop and rock side, “One Headlight” by the Wallflowers was my fave and still one as is Jewel’s “You Were Meant for Me.” Tracy Chapman had hits as did Alanis Morissette with her ironic “Ironic” but what really got everyone dancing was the catchy “Macarena.” You’re doing the dance in your head right now aren’t you?!

 

 

I’m well aware that actual calendars are becoming as rare as good TV sitcoms, but thankfully they are still out there. Each year I purchase MD Anderson Cancer Center’s Children’s Art Project wall calender that includes artwork from young patients for each month. It’s my go-to calendar, I don’t actually hang it on a wall but keep it on my desk, and to ensure I have dates and events literally at my fingertips, I have a photo file on my phone of each month’s page. Yes, I have to take a new photo and update the album each time I add something to a month, but the process works for me. I tried using the phone calendar and hated it. I don’t like having two or more calendars and opt for my old-school one for everything.

 

 

I’ve always loved calendars. Back in my “former life” when I had a plethora of work items I had to schedule, balance, and jot down, I loved my Franklin Planner. It seemed like it was made just for me and my planning personality. I liked it way better than Filofax or other brands, and would probably still be using one today if I needed to.

 

 

 

If you do happen to have an old 1996 calendar, you could possibly make a profit off one as they are proving popular online items to buy. Or, just hold onto this year’s calendar until 2052, which is the next year the calendars will be exactly the same.