Beyond Words

Raise your hand if you like Tequila. Raise your hand if you’ve taken one too many Tequila shots? My guess is most of you raised your hand to the second question but not the first. You could say Tequila has a bad rap. Common complaints are it tastes horrid and it gets you really drunk. But, I recently attended a Tequila Tasting class and learned to love it and learned a lot.

 

Entering the class I noticed that each seat looked much like a common wine tasting event. There were stemmed glasses and a spit bucket and hors d’oeuvres were served. No shot glasses, no salt, and no limes to be found.

 

Tequila has grown up. The national drink of Mexico has definitely come a long way and even tony “Town and Country” magazine called it “the new Scotch” last year. T&C?! Heavens no! Si si. High-end Tequila’s refinement has it firmly on par with Scotch and Cognac.

 

As with anything, all Tequilas are not created equal and my guess is you’ve had some pretty lame stuff as you chased it with lime in college and woke up with one grande hangover. I personally stayed away from the stuff for years after getting sick on it in high school during Santa Fe’s Fiesta. To this day remember the pain and misery I suffered. No bueno.

 

 

CONTROL ISSUES

During our tasting, I was somewhat surprised to learn that Tequila production is in fact highly regulated. It can only be produced in five regions of Mexico (all genuine Tequila comes from Mexico) and all levels of distilling, production, bottling, marketing, and business practices are verified and controlled by the Mexican government. The country’s esteemed Tequila Regulatory Council certifies the product with a Norma Oficial Mexican (NOM) number and label, which are printed on every approved bottle’s label. It’s important for you, the buyer, to know that all authentic tequilas will have a NOM label. If it doesn’t, back away.

 

Not only must Tequila be produced in only the five regions of Jalisco, Tamaulipas, Guanajuato, Nayarit or Michoacán, all Tequila must be made using agave of the species Tequilana Weber Blue variety. In fact, true Tequila must be made from 51 percent blue agave, produced at an authorized and designated distillery, and bottled at 40-55 percent alcohol by volume. And you thought it was just a simple icky tasting booze from Mexico!

 

YOU SAY AGAVE, I SAY AGAVE

Tequila-like spirits have been produced in Mexico from the time of the Aztecs, who made a fermented beverage from the abundant plants. In the 16^th Century, Spanish conquistadors discovered its alcoholic attributes when they ran out of their favored brandy and sherry. It was long after that a man named Jose Cuervo begin distilling Tequila and Spain’s King Carlos IV granted the Cuervo family the first license to commercially make it.

 

It’s all about the agave, which grows in deserts and is part of the succulent family, much like yucca and aloe. The Aztecs used it for both food and medicine and the blue agave can reach up to eight-feet-tall and 12-feet-wide. It must grow for up to eight years before being harvested and for Tequila, its flower stalk is removed before the plant can blossom, which causes the stem to swell with the juice later used in the processing of Tequila.

 

During distilling, the fermentation of the agave’s sugars begins after cooking the plant. Through this process, many factors influence the notoriously high alcohol content of the beverage. Much like a NOM number and label, if a bottle does not say the Tequila was manufactured from 100 percent blue agave, it’s not truly a Tequila, but a “mixto,” which uses added sugars and less than 51 percent agave. You may see labels claiming “made with blue agave,” but unless it says 100 percent agave, it’s not Tequila.

 

I also highly recommend staying away from Mezcal, which we did taste during class. In a word, EEEWWW! It smelled bad and it tasted even worse. Only certain ones come “con gusano,” or “with worm,” and you will never see a worm in a true Tequila. The worms, which are actually larval from a moth that was found living in and possibly infesting the agave plant, results in an inferior product. Shocker.

 

 

Examples of Plata, Reposado & Anejo tequila colors

 

WHAT’S YOUR TYPE?

Most of us may consider a “gold” Tequila the finest, but it’s really not. Tequila can be broken down into basically five categories:

 

Plata Tequila, known as “blanco,” “silver” or “white,” provides the purest form of Tequila as very little aging occurs during its processing. The Tequila is clear, resembling vodka more than any shot I took in college!

 

Gold Tequila, also known as “joven” or “oro,” is a blanco Tequila version with added caramel color or a sugar-based syrup.

 

Top-of-the-line Tequilas are those that are “Reposado,” “Anejo,” and “Extra Anejo.” These fine sipping Tequilas are aged longer and done so in oak barrels. The extended aging creates enhanced flavors, increased aromas, and a golden color.

 

Blanco tequila is usually harsher and full of boldness while reposado and anejo versions are smoother yet more complex.

 

Once purchased, Tequila generally does not change color and its quality remains constant even after a bottle is opened. And, unlike wine, Tequila does not require any specific or strict storing guidelines. Again, think of it much like you would its fellow distilled spirits whiskey, rum, or vodka. Simply store it in a constant and moderate temperature with no exposure to sunlight and always properly seal the bottle.

 

SIP DON’T SHOOT

So, how to drink that Tequila you just purchased? The traditional Mexican way is neat and often with a side of sangrita, a non-alcoholic sweet and spicy drink sipped alternately between sips of Tequila. In our class, we sipped the Tequila samples from what looked like short wine glasses. There are official “Tequila Glasses” you can purchase, and snifters are also popular with Tequila connoisseurs. Shot glasses are not traditional and should be reserved for college parties.

 

Like wine tasting and drinking, there is a Tequila sipping protocol. In a nutshell, you should pour no more than an ounce of the spirit into a tequila glass or snifter and then hold the glass from the stem (never the bowl), look at the drink’s color, and take a sniff. Swirl the tequila in the glass and look for the “string of pearls” beading down the walls of the glass and then take a sip and swish it around in your mouth. Be sure to let it travel across your tongue. You are now an official tequila sipper!

 

The best sipping tequila is undoubtedly any Anejo, which are often compared to cognac. They are naturally more expensive but worth every penny. Drink them at room temperature but do not add ice to them as it dilutes their fine flavor.

 

If you must shoot your Tequila, shoot a blanco, oro, or reposado and do it fast. Most people will lick some salt before the shot (which supposedly lessens the burn) and follow the shot by sucking on a lime wedge (which balances the flavor.) If you’re in Germany, cinnamon and an orange slice will most likely be the method. Who knew?!

 

Tequila is also tasty in a cocktail, including everyone’s favorite, the margarita; as well as a Mexican Martini; and the sweet and pretty Tequila Sunrise. If you’re really feeling frisky and risky, try a Vampira, basically a Bloody Mary with Tequila. Now that should wake you up in the morning!

 

 GOOD BUYS

Most experts and many a bartender will tell you to buy tequila that’s produced by a family-owned business rather than a large conglomerate. I asked our class instructor why her course made no mention of or included tastings of popular “I know my tequila” brands like Patron and Hornitos. Her answer? Marketing. Their reputations are based somewhat on massive marketing campaigns, not distinction or exceptionality.

 

Of all the types we tasted during class, I enjoyed El Padrino Reposado and Don Julio Anejo, but my absolute favorite was Cozul 100 Reserva Extra Anejo, which is actually clear because it is filtered through charcoal using what many consider the industry’s highest production standards. You know that distinct Tequila smell and taste? These had neither. In fact, a high-end Tequila will have a variety of tastes, including citrus, pepper, caramel, oak, chocolate, honey, and ginger. Our tasting notes varied from clean, dry, sweet, mellow, smooth, light, and warm. Other notes included “coats the mouth,” “like a scotch,” and “bourbonesque.”

 

It was also interesting to learn that Don Julio designed the iconic short Tequila bottle so that his guests could see each other across the table. Don Julio’s is known for its painstaking production qualities while El Padrino is Mexico’s most awarded distillery. That’s saying something and that’s why I love taking these types of classes: all the interesting things you learn. It reminded me of a fun whiskey tasting class my college girlfriends and I took in New York City or any number of wine tastings I’ve attended.

 

So there you have it; the 411 on all things Tequila. Even if you think you don’t like the drink, I suggest giving it a shot. Or better yet, a sip. Salud!

I can’t. I can’t purge or pack another thing today. In the past few days I’ve packed here, there, and everywhere; have had packers here; a photog here; potential buyers here; and I’ve had it up to HERE!  It literally never ends…

 

In the meantime, I need to do something that gives me joy (yes, I’ve read the book) so I’m going to sit here and write and I’m going to write about shoes. It’s a win-win!

 

Anyone who knows me knows I’m a bit shoe-crazed. Actually I’m a lot shoe-crazed! Yesterday I cleaned and purged my closet and discovered shoes I won’t be wearing but will make someone very happy…and sassy. I analyzed nearly ever pair I own and asked myself something I recently read, “Would I buy these if I saw them in a store today?” No? Chunk ‘em. Yes? Keep ‘em.

 

I think shoes can either make or break an outfit and best of all, they always fit! I can go into any store or online shop and know I’m a size 9 shoe but that’s rarely the case with clothing, in which I range anywhere from Jumbo to 3 (thank you Chico’s!)

 

I was all set to write about summer’s hottest shoe trends, but so many of them made me say, “uh no to the n-o,” so instead am going to discuss shoes every woman’s closet should have. Enjoy!

 

 

STAND TALL

 

Pumps

First and foremost, but perhaps not always most practical, are pumps. Like cowboy boots though, if you invest in a good pair, you can wear them for days. Hi my name is Carla and I’m obsessed with pumps. There, I said it. I have a black pair, nude pair, red pair, brown pair, blue pair, sparkly pair, several colorful pairs, tuxedo pair, and a leopard pair. Now, I’m not saying every woman needs every one of those, but I do think a solid three-inch pump in both black and nude are wardrobe essentials. I know sky-high stilettos are all the rage, but if you can’t comfortably walk in them and look like a fool trying, save your money and invest in lower heeled ones first. And don’t be afraid to invest in an expensive brand. Pumps are timeless, will never go out of style, and you’ll wear them forever. As much as the above black Christian Louboutins are coveted by many, I’m obsessed with my nude Sam Edelman’s above. I love how the top of the foot area is cut with a simple “v” and the heel is the perfect height. I love them so much I have them in black too.

 

 

 

 

 

Wedges

When a pump is not what your feet or outfit is calling for, you need look no further than a wedge. It will give you similar leg-lengthening qualities with a little more casualness or youthfulness. At least one pair in both black and nude is recommended. Younger girls can also pull-off flatforms but I prefer a classic wedge, which can be worn with anything from a pleated skirt to jeans to a simple dress and they easily go from day to night. The black ankle-strap ones above from Aldo are adorbs with their white accent and how cute are the middle ones from Andres Assous? The classic girl that I am means I also love Jack Rogers’ simple tan wedge.

 

If you’re a young girl or woman, flatforms like these silver ones from Aldo complement both jeans and summer dresses.

 

 

Party Shoes

Lastly in the heeled area, every girl needs at least one pair of shoes that say “The party doesn’t start till I walk in.” These can be 9-inch Loubs, floral wedges, glittery flats, or anything that makes a statement. Think party not practical and smile when you wear them!  Not comfy choosing a pair? Look no further than Manolo Blahnik’s stunning cobalt blue pumps made famous by Carrie Bradshaw, which in my mind are both the perfect party shoe and the perfect wedding shoe. Something blue anyone?

                                 

Manolo Blahnik                              Aldo                                     Aquazzura

 

 

                                  

Ivanka Trump                         Jimmy Choo                           Jimmy Choo

 

 

 

 

 

FLAT OUT LOVE THEM

 

            

Slip on Sneakers

A somewhat more recent trend but one I hope never goes away is a slip-on sneaker. I’ll admit I had a hard time finding one at first that worked on my feet and returned many (thank you Nordstrom’s return fabulousness!) but once I did, I was sold. My white versions of the above black Vince slip-ons were literally comfy from the minute I put them on, and say what you will about Toms, but they make my feet happy. All slip-ons, including Celine’s above adorable plaid ones and Steve Madden’s above quilted ones are perfect for running errands, travelling, and anything else where you want to look stylish but stay comfy. In the winter they are a cold-weather version of flip-flops and yet look a little more polished than true sneakers.

 

 

 

                          

Sneakers

Whether you’re a runner, a walker, a tennis player, or just want to look like one, everyone needs a good pair of sneakers. I love my Tiffany blue Nikes that were a gift and since I’m not training for any marathon or grand slam, I wear them for just about any activity. Reebok is also popular and I tried my hardest to get my hands (and feet) on a pair of the above Kate Spade “splash” version she did for New Balance, to no avail. It was recommended to me years ago to buy athletic shoes a half or even whole size bigger than your normal size and those were indeed very wise words. Run don’t walk to get a good pair of sneakers. Just do it.

 

 

 

 

Athleisure

Whether you give it up “thumbs up” or “thumbs down” the Athleisure trend is everywhere and it’s not going away and I say “yay!” Keep it classy though and keep it groomed from head to what you wear on your toes. I never thought I could pull-off Chucks by Converse but I love my gray ones and I also love my Sketchers walkers. I know, I know, not the coolest of footwear but oh-so-comfy. If it’s coolness you long for, check out Superga, an Italian sneaker that’s been around forever.

 

 

 

Basic Flats

This is where I can go a little crazy. I love flats. My college girls are forever telling me to “add a little height” to my outfit, which I do when going out, but day-to-day you’ll find me in flats. Whether they are chic leather sandals, custom-made ones from Capri, or standard flip-flips, I’m all over them and think you should be too!

 

My “go to” flat is probably anything by Tory Burch. Yep, I’m THAT girl. I have several flip-flops and round-logoed Miller thongs, but my favorites are the tan square-logoed Millers I bought years ago but are no longer available. Sigh.

 

 

 

I also love my new pair of latex nude Vince sandals, my black two-strap and cork-soled slip-ons I found at Target, my beloved glitter Reef flip-flops and very basic but very comfy Havaianas, the now trendy cross-over Lucky Brand shoes I fell in love with last year (who knew!?), and of course my silver “handmade for me in Capri” little gems.

 

                        

 

 

It doesn’t end there though. Here is my “dream team” of flats starring Valentino, Hermes, and Weitzman:

                  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ballet Flats

Ballets are one of my favorite styles of flats and I DIE for the above Chanel and Ferragamo Varinas.  Overall, I think ballet flats are a timeless closet staple and are ideal for slipping into your bag or carry-on in case your pigs get tired of being squeezed into their heels. My favorite that come in their own little pouch are by Yosi Samra and Tieks are also popular. Genius!

 

I also jumped on the Tory Burch Reva bandwagon and have several like the ones below emblazoned with a giant gold or silver logo, but I really don’t find them comfortable. I lean more toward a basic ballet like the three below (Target has great ones!), but how fun are the ones with rose accents? Still not sold on a classic ballet? Then maybe consider any of the other embellished alternatives.

                

 

 

       

 

 

 

Espadrilles

Classic Spanish footwear, “alpargatas” as they are known in Spain, are like butter for your feet. And, if you love espadrilles as much as I do, this is your dream season as the canvas classics could very well be called the shoe of the summer. You can find your basic flat ones but also wedge ones, lace-up ones, and even chunky-heeled ones. They are oh-so comfy and stylish.

 

These two-toned Torys are my faves. So in love with them am I that I’m on my second pair. I also like Sole Society’s suede ones and you can’t go wrong with Soludos or Toms…of which I have many.

 

 

Here are some other takes on the espadrille that I like. A fun and fringed CWonder sandal, Stuart Weitzman’s simple and elegant wedge, a slip on by Ugg that’s easy going, Tory’s block-heeled beauty, and Zara’s popular lace-up version.

 

                   

 

      

 

 

If you’re looking for a bargain, look no further than Asos, which offers 2-for-1 combo packs in an assortment of colors and patterns.

 

 

 

 

 

Loafers

Ever since the days of Penny Loafers, I’ve been a non-stop loyal fan of loafers.  The slip-on slide style is summer’s update to the preppy classic, which I like, but I’ll forever be a classic menswear style girl.

 

I tend to lean toward driving mocs and my red Tod’s are my go tos. I also have several Cole Haan versions, including these brown patent leather ones. A more recent purchase that I’m liking are red canvas Cole Haans and I hope to be purchasing these CWonder’s playful “Bee Happy” smoking ones.

          

 

Bass Weejuns are classic and timeless as are Gucci’s traditional buckled ones. And how sick are Sole Society’s silver Huxleys and Gucci’s Spring 2016 embellished slip-on block-heeled gems?

          

 

 

 

 

GO NUDE

Whether you go for a chunky wedge or a celeb fave Weitzman “Nudist,” think minimalist. The key here is seeing more foot than shoe, which elongates the legs. You can never go wrong with a classic nude pump, which is the ultimate leg lengthener. Hey, if Kate Middleton can wear her LK Bennett pump so often, so can we! Don’t limit your nude shoe wardrobe to pumps though, think wedges, flats, slides, and even rain boots.

             

Alexandre Birman                Jimmy Choo                         LK Bennett              Stuart Weitzman

 

 

                                         

      Cosid                                              Emilio Luca                                     Jimmy Choo

 

 

                                       

    Sam Edelman                                    Steve Madden                               Steve Madden

 

 

 

GIVE ‘EM THE BOOT

Rain happens and you want your feet to be prepared. I’m not talking polka dots or puppy dogs (leave those for the kids); I’m talking a classic pair of black or other solid-colored rain boots. You can’t go wrong with Hunter and my quilted black Sperry’s are keepers. If you must have pattern, stick maybe to Burberry’s classic plaid. I’m aware that cowboy boots are liked by many, but with those too, keep them simple. You can go knee high or opt for a pair that looks like a regular pair of shoes. I love my ankle boots. Your goal is to keep your feet dry, not make a statement.

                  

Hunter                                        Sperry                               Burberry                             Capelli

 

Burberry                     Chooka                  Walmart                   JCPenney                  Tretorn

 

 

A good pair of flat and cold weather boots should also be in your closet. Ralph Lauren’s two-toned riding boots below are both stylish and safe, as are Uggs. As much as people loathe them, they work! A knee-high boot like Stuart Weitzman’s rich suede pair is super stylish but works best on long-legged and lean ladies.

              

 

 

Me? I also adore my red “game day” ropers and these black ones with bows on the back.

 

     

 

 

Finally, consider buying some ankle boots with a simple heel, which add edge and flair and go with just about everything from skinny jeans to swingy skirts.

 

You can go more casual like these from Rag and Bone, Sole Society, and Steve Madden…

 

                 

 

 

Or glam them up like these by Valentino, River Island, and Steve Madden.

                            

 

 

 

So there you have it: every shoe for every girl. Remember, shop smart and have fun!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am not happy today. I’m having to deal with things on the house we are building and am not liking what I’m hearing from the sales rep. I’m also stressed. Stressed from just having moved our daughter from Scottsdale to Dallas, stressed about purging for our upcoming move, and stressed about things that need to be tended to for a summer trip I have planned. They’re all good things but they’re stressing me out. Am thinking maybe I just need to refill my glass.

 

Then I read my morning “Jesus Calling” devotional that calmly reminded me to chill and leave it all in His hands and I also come across a fabulous article on Entreprenueur.com titled “Breaking These 13 Bad Habits Will Make You Happier.” I was reluctant to read Travis Bradberry’s article but am a big fan of Gretchen Rubin’s happiness and habits writings and recently read and thoroughly enjoyed Dan Harris’ “10 Percent Happier” book so I dove in and learned some new things that rang true and made sense.

 

As Bradberry logged, we all are obsessed with happiness and as I’ve blogged myself, the pursuit of it is indeed in the Declaration of Independence, but it’s not listed in the Bill of Rights. Happiness is not a right and it is fleeting, but University of California psychologists recently discovered some fascinating things on the subject.

 

One interesting discovery was that we all have a happiness “set point,” the place we normally reside that’s sits somewhere between extremely positive or devastatingly negative events. When we get a promotion we are very happy, but it doesn’t last forever. Same with losing a job. We may be bummed, but we take the steps needed to bounce back up.

 

In other words, we must work and work hard at making ourselves happy and we do that through our habits. It’s important to adopt new habits that increase positivity and also break all those bad habits that make us unhappy. Those are the focus of this blog.

 

I will list them here (for those of you who don’t want to read this entire thing) and then I will expound on them (for those who really care).

 

Habits to Break That Make Us Unhappy

Immunity to awe

Isolating yourself

Blaming

Controlling

Criticizing

Complaining

Impressing

Negativity

Hanging around negative people

Comparing your life to those on social media

Neglecting setting goals

Giving in to fear

Leaving the present

 

 

 

Stop Comparing Your Life to Facebook

I’m going to start with one that I think is both prevalent and underrated: comparing your life to the lives people portray on social media. If you are on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat or any other medium, you probably know what I’m talking about. Friends we follow tend to post glamorous destinations, beautiful family pics, updates on their brilliant and talented kids, and inspiring thoughts, but inside and at home they could but anything but full of cheer and glamour. I am guilty as charged. Every now and then I may post something that broke my heart or my spirit, but in general I post all things beautiful and bountiful. But, and I say this pretty confidently, I try not to compare my life to those I see on social media. That, my friends, is a biggie.

 

So big in fact, that a recent experiment conducted by The Happiness Research Institute (yes, there really is one and yes, I want to work for it!) found that participants who stayed off Facebook for a week reported significantly higher degrees of satisfaction with their lives and lower levels of sadness and loneliness than those were used Facebook. Ouch.

 

I think the social media habit leads naturally into both Impressing and Immunity to Awe.

 

The internet allows us to constantly see awe-inspiring things but it’s hard to be truly awestricken if life’s pleasures and treats are there at any given time. In abundance. Another uplifting story? Check. Did you see that gorgeous photograph? Yep. Did you copy and share or just say to yourself, “that’s cool?” Next time take make a determined and genuine effort to really be awed by whatever it was. Be uplifted, not just satisfied.

 

Social media lends itself to convincing us we are, well, socializing. But, we’re really not. Yes I am friends on Facebook with many I probably wouldn’t ever talk to on the phone, but “liking” a post is vastly different from sitting down for coffee or dinner with someone. Too much socializing on social media can lead to yet another bad habit: isolating yourself. I know this personally because I’ve become somewhat of a home body. I love being home and am never bored at home. Research again and again however, shows that socializing is significant for our happiness levels and that even when we don’t want to, we should force ourselves to get out there to mix and mingle. I know that when I do, I feel good.

 

Now the biggie: impressing. As Bradberry writes, “Trying to impress other people is a source of unhappiness because it doesn’t get to the source of what makes you happy: finding people who like you and accept you for who you are.” Sounds simple, right? Coveting things will only lead to frustration and disappointment. Once you have said item, what next? Always remember that people may like your clothes, your car, your house, and even your fancy job but that doesn’t mean they like you. Double ouch.

 

 

Don’t Be A Negative Nancy

 

On the flip-side, criticizing others is just as damaging to our level of happiness. We may do it to make others look bad or to make ourselves look better, but ultimately all it does is make us feel bad in a guilty and slimy sort of way. Stay away from it both privately and publicly.

 

 

So if it’s not other people’s fault that you’re unhappy, whose is it then? It’s gotta be someone’s right? It certainly can’t be my fault! This type of thought process leads us all down the fast track of Blaming and Complaining. Think about it though, when you complain about the state of your life, you’re basically saying you have no control over it, which will make you anything but happy. Grab that control and watch happiness follow.

 

 

But don’t over-control. Yes, feeling like you have control of your life can make you happier, but trying to control too much can lead to unhappiness. Think about it. You can control what time you leave for work in the morning, but you can’t control the traffic. Trying to control someone else is even riskier. Nagging will make you feel helpless and hopeless while threatening or forcing won’t make you feel good about yourself. Control what you can and be done with it.

 

 

 

Constant complaining works the same way in that by doing so you basically reinforce negative beliefs and indirectly reveals that you don’t have control of what is going on. Equally bad is the fact that it also drives people away.

 

Because…hanging around negative people is a real downer and if you’re a constant complainer, you become that negative person. We all know them. they focus on problems not solutions and they are constantly inviting us to their pity parties…invitations you should not accept! Yes, be the kind, listening friend, but draw the line when the complaining has clearly become a habit and a detriment to someone else’s life. Instead of being the forever shoulder to cry on pal, surround yourself with people who inspire and uplift you.

 

 

When something negative happens in your life,

the first question to ask is “what does this make possible?

 

Remember, pessimism is a self-fulfilling prophecy so if you could care less about being happy, be more pessimistic. You’re sure to succeed! We can all go the way of seeing what’s wrong, not what’s right, but just don’t make it a habit. This is not always easy, I know. We see rudeness rather than the kindness all around us. Crimes get way more publicity than acts of kindness. It’s still best to concentrate on really and truly counting your blessings and acknowledging the many things you have to be grateful for. I myself have had to learn that expecting the best is almost always better than expecting the worst. I used to say I wasn’t so much a pessimist as a realist. I think I felt that way because I didn’t want to be let down or disappointed. Living that way left me nothing but icky and iffy though.  We all face life’s lows, but when we do, it’s best to own them, solve them, and move on. Even with all my angst about things I, for years, have told myself either “so what” or “it’s not as bad as I think it is” when something goes awry. Amazingly, such simple words work.

 

 

Maybe you’re not over-the-top pessimistic, but you are fearful. I hear you and I’m right there with you. I’m a remarkable worrier and, as I recently blogged, I’m no fan of change. But, giving in to fear is not healthy. Fear is an oppressive idol and it’s a dangerous one. It robs us of joy, blinds us, and can literally debilitate someone. It can also lead to that aforementioned bad habit of isolation. Truth be told though, what we fear is often a product of our imagination, not real danger. Author and blogger Susie Davis wrote a fabulous book on this subject titled “Unafraid” that I highly recommend. In addition, getting in the habit of tackling and conquering our fears will not only add courage to our lives, but confidence too.

 

 

“Worrying doesn’t take away tomorrow’s troubles,

it takes away today’s peace.”

 

What do we so often fear? The future. But, that’s not living in the present, which experts say is paramount to increasing our levels of happiness and joy. Remind yourself that you can’t change the past and you can’t control the future so focus on living in today’s present moment. But, not just today’s good, but all of its reality, including the bad. To do this you need to accept your past as well as the uncertainty of the future. That’s where I sometimes have trouble. I don’t necessarily dwell on the past, but if I do it’s usually with the regret of how much time and effort I wasted worrying about things I really didn’t need to. I do, however, often worry about the future. My future. My family’s future. The future of this world. No pressure Carla.

 

Lastly, we all need to get in the habit of setting goals. Goals allow us to feel good about the future, not have anxiety about it, and working toward goals and accomplishing them gives us euphoria and self-worth. Set both challenging and sure-to-meet goals for a good balance and remember that without goals, nothing will ever change. And, I hear that’s not a bad thing…neither is refilling your glass.

 

 

 

 

 

The past few weeks have been almost as exciting fashion-wise as awards season earlier this spring. We’ve had The Met Gala, Cannes Film Festival, and most recently the Billboard Music Awards. As always, there were red carpet hits and misses among the winners and losers. Here is my take on all three.

 

Met Gala

I thought Emma Watson killed it in this black and cream Calvin Klein piece…er pieces. The bustier, pants, and long train were not only distinctive and daring, they were made entirely from recycled bottles.

 

 

I also thought New Yorker Ivanka Trump was uh-mazing in this red Ralph Lauren silk crepe pantsuit. Haters gonna hate but the girl has style. Have you checked out her shoe line? And while you’re at it, check out her previous foray onto the Met Gala steps in a cobalt blue stunner. There’s a reason artists want to sketch her.

   

 

Cindy Crawford looked insanely good and showed them she still has it in this body-hugging, sheer-paneled Balmain sparkler. Love her simple hair too.

 

News anchor Megyn Kelly proved she has style to go with those brains and that beauty in a black Badgley Mischka gown that perfectly saved its party for the back.

 

I also think Amber Heard, also known as Mrs. Johnny Depp, brought the glam in this champagne hued Ralph Lauren drapey dream. Her long Veronica Lake-like locks and bold lip elegantly completed the look. And those sick gold pumps! I could die.

 

All the talk was about Taylor Swift’s bold new edgy look, platinum hair, her daring Louis Vuitton ensemble as well as Beyoncé’s “take this Jay Z” nude latex Versace. Yes, I said latex but no I didn’t love it. Still, hats off to both music legends for bringing it. The crowd went wild.

 

 

 

 

Cannes Film Festival

From New York to France we go for the Cannes Film Festival, the French Riviera’s annual film and fashion extravaganza.

I have no idea who Fan Bingbing is, but I loved her pale pink embroidered Ralph & Russo couture gown with a train. I’m still in awe of this its detailing. I also kinda like her name!

 

 

Yet another fun frock I favored was Cheryl Cole’s Naem Khan colorful body-con number. Usually way too eccentric for my more traditional taste, this Khan had me at hello. I mean, just look at it! Loved Cole’s slick ponytail and jewelry-free neck as well. This L’Oreal ambassador and girlfriend of One Direction’s Liam Payne most definitely has much to smile about. That dress is just one of them.

 

 

Okay, before I continue let me address the elephant in the room: Bella Hadid’s red satin “slit to there” Alexandre Vauthier. Did she look beautiful? Yes. Was her hair and make-up on point? Double yes. Were her shoes killer? Heck yes. Was it a little too much? I think so.

 

Don’t believe me? Check out this angle:

 

Hadid is the 19-year-old model daughter of Beverly Hill’s Housewife Yolanda Hadid and her ex-husband, gazillioinaire real estate developer Mohamed Hadid. She is also the sister of fellow “model of the moment” Gigi Hadid and is dating music’s current “it” man, The Weeknd. In other words, she does what she wants and she wears what she wants. I just wish she’d smile once in a while and stop trying to grow up so darn fast.

 

 

In contrast to Hadid’s risqué “look at me, look at me” dress, these three ladies showed everyone how to do red and do it right.

 

Even though Katy Perry looks a little like an emoji, I thought she looked flawless in her flamenco-inspired Marchesa. In fact, she’s never looked better!

 

And Kate Moss. Vintage Halston. One shoulder. Hair back. Black bag and shoes. Simplicity yet perfection.

Geena Davis looked radiant and beautiful in her red Rubin Singer.

 

I also really liked Davis in this playful daytime Dolce & Gabbana. Not one to make many a “best dressed” list, I thought Davis killed it at Cannes.

 

Someone else who killed it was fashionista Sonam Kapor who made jaws drop when she arrived in this stunning white and bedazzled Ralph & Russo caped gorgeousness. I mean, who wouldn’t want to wear this dress and look like this? I’d say her title is well-deserved.

 

Naomi Watts is usually one of my red carpet faves and she didn’t disappoint in this sparkly silver Michael Kors sheath.

 

The little black dress went big and bold with Kendall Jenner’s Roberto Cavalli while Karlie Kloss’ simple and slit Marchesa was one of my Cannes favorites. Loved it Karlie. Loved it. Again, sometimes less is more.

 

And speaking of black, how stunning does Charlize Theron look in this Dior couture take on a women’s tux? Perfection. Total perfection.

 

The pregnant and beautiful Blake Lively pretty much stole the show the whole two weeks of Cannes and I especially liked this little “I’m a cake topper” baby blue tiered Vivienne Westwood. I remember seeing Lively in “The Sisterhood of Travelling Pants” years ago and thinking “this girl is gorgeous and is going to go far.” It took her longer than I expected, but she has proven me right.

 

Last but certainly not least were the forever fashion flawless Amal Clooney and multi-talented Anna Kendrick, both of whom brought a little yellow sunshine to the red carpet. As always, Amal was straight out of a “how to do it right” fashion textbook in her pale yellow Atelier Versace while Kendrick’s canary yellow Stella McCartney was both bold and beautiful.

 

 

 

 

 

Billboard Music Awards

I wish I could say the Billboards brought out the glam, but that just wasn’t the case. I was in fact bored at the Billboards. So much so that my “best dressed” list contains only one entry: Priyanka Chopra in this lovely and slit blue Atelier Versace. Yes she’s an actress and not a singer, but maybe she could teach some of the songstresses a thing or two about style.

 

Instead, we got this…

Brittany Spears desperately trying to hang on to her 1980s persona. Girl, you are now a grown woman and a mom. Drop the trashy look and let your natural beauty shine. Besides, desperate doesn’t look good on anyone.

 

We also got this…

Demi Lovato wearing I’m not really sure what other than a hot mess, Heidi Klum once again giving us a red carpet epic fail (she is a super model, right?), and the usually reliable Jessica Alba pretending she’s younger than she is and pretending the Las Vegas weather was colder than it was.

 

Then there’s the gor-gee-us Ciara again trying too hard. Can you say Bella Hadid at Cannes? We get it Ciara. We know you’re beautiful and we know you have a killer body. We also know you and fiancé Russell Wilson have taken a pre-marital vow of chastity. You can’t have it both ways. You’re either a lady or you’re not. This dress, as perfect as your body looks in it, is anything but ladylike. Keep it classy Ciara. We like you better that way.

I didn’t hate Zendaya’s salmon midriff-baring ensemble, but I do hate that she is waaaay too thin. Not a good role model for all the young girls who look up to the Disney starlet.

 

Even fashion queen Rihanna disappointed. At a music awards show no less! Her olive green, double-breasted dress was pretty but it would be much prettier at a graduation ceremony or hometown awards banquet. The Manolos on her feet were beyond amazing though.

So, there you have it, another style wrap up. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed watching the red carpets and writing about them. Til next time!

 

 

“For attractive lips, speak kind words.”

Audrey Hepburn

 

I recently wrote about warm and cool skin tones and what to wear with the one you’ve been blessed with, including lipstick shades. Today I’m going a bit further and focusing just on lip color: how to create a good lip color “wardrobe,” how to make lipstick last longer, what colors will enhance your face, and I am also sharing some of my favorite shades and brands.

 

First off, every woman needs three lip colors in her cosmetics collection: a trendy shade, a versatile nude, and a classic red. Hot trends for this spring are a pop of hot pink (I like Givenchy’s “Fuchsia Irresistible”), 60’s coral, and glittery metallics. Whether you like matte or glossy, lip gloss or lipstick, these three items are a make-up must for women young and old. What we all want is a pigment that doesn’t stain the lips or stay on too long and one that is not overly dry.

 

I almost always wear lipstick or lip gloss. I also have lip balms everywhere…in my purse, in my car, at my desk, at work, in my nightstand. Literally, everywhere. Maybe it all goes back to my grandma Dodie, who at all times had on earrings and lipstick regardless of where she was going or what she was wearing. She must have passed this habit on to my mom, who has a drawer-full of lipsticks and first introduced me to the original Tangee lipstick that is famously clear to look at but changes to the perfect color to complement your skin. I still like it to this day!

 

My collection of lip color runs the gamut price-wise. Chanel’s shimmery and high-shine Levres Scintillantes lip glosses are near and dear to my heart, but so are the more affordable Pure Illumination glosses. I love that they have a mirror on the tube and a bonus push light. Lipstick-wise, my long-time go to color is Mary Kay’s “Toffee.” Depending on what I wear, it can go coral, red, and even a darker neutral and it goes on velvety and isn’t too sticky. Basically, it’s perfect!

 

 

Full-lips are everywhere. Many are God-given (Angelina Jolie) but many more are not (too many to name.) But, regardless of what the fake-lipped Kardashians would have you to believe (I’m talking to you Kylie and your Kylie’s Lip Kit), fuller isn’t necessarily better.

 

Elle magazine recently reported that, according to a study from the University of Manchester, lip size is insignificant when it comes to perception of attractiveness. Thankfully it’s pigment that matters most. For the study, the eye movements of men were tracked and showed that they spent 2.2 seconds on lipstick-free mouths, 6.7 seconds on pink lips, and 7.3 seconds looking at red lips…all regardless of fullness. Can I get an “amen” from all my fellow thin-and normal-lipped sisters?

 

So nude is good, pinks are better, and red is the best? Yes and no. IMHO, nudes are top dogs because they go with everything and can easily go from day to night without a hitch. As for pinks, a deep one will instantly brighten up your look while reds are oh so timeless and ever so glam.

 

Lip Service

Once you’ve chosen a color, how do you make it last? Makeup artist and Chanel brand ambassador Kate Lee told Allure magazine that her favorites are “velvet” lipsticks, which give you a matte look but also have emollients. She suggests first applying a lip balm and let it sit for 10 minutes, then apply the lipstick. She’s not a believer in primers prior to lip color, and who’s going to argue with Chanel?

 

When applying your lip color, don’t by way of costly but unnecessary applicators, instead apply it straight from the lipstick bullet, or case, and after doing so, blend it with a brush. You can also blot any excess color with a tissue before applying another layer. Lastly, Lee suggests spreading a very light layer of transparent powder for extra staying power underneath a third layer of lipstick. Sound complicated? Maybe, but it works! Another trick is shared by superstar Celine Dion, who first dabs foundation on her lips followed by a fill-in with lip pencil, and then the lipstick. She swears this process helps keep her lip color intact throughout her stage shows. Who knew?

 

 

 

Now for colors and brands. Here are some of my favorites and some that are industry favorites.

 

Nudes

I love Mary Kay’s “Apricot Glaze” and my daughter swears by Tom Ford’s “Sable Smoke” (but it looks ghastly on me!) I also really, really like Mac’s “Love Child” lip gloss and Chanel’s “Coco” is fabulous, albeit more on the expensive side.

 

Tom Ford lipsticks are known to be highly-pigmented and long-lasting. They also boast a creamy texture and the trademark “TF” stamp on the tip. They’re almost too pretty to use!

 

 

Pinks

Revlon’s “Soft Shell Pink” is an enduring darling and I love Mary Kay’s “Dusty Rose” and Marc Jacob’s “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.” If you’re lucky enough to find a Tom Ford “Cherry Lush,” grab it, as the pinkish-red always sells out. Last year’s Pantone color of the year, Orchid, is a more purpley pink, but it works on almost all skin tones. Just make sure you pick a more sheer one if you’re fair-skinned and more opaque if you’re darker skinned.

 

Reds

The lip color of all lip colors, right? Who doesn’t have images of Liz Taylor or JLo in a vibrant red lip? Revlon’s “Fire and Ice” is a stalwart and boasts SPF15, while right behind it in popularity is Chanel’s trademark “Allure” in its click-open case. Mac’s extra matte and much-loved “Ruby Woo” is right behind them, as is Tom Ford’s “Alejandro.” “Danger” by YSL is also popular and is nice in that it goes on sheer but has the perfect amount of color.

 

Finally, don’t forget to match your lip shade with your skin undertone. Warm skin tones should wear orange-reds, brick reds, peaches, peachy pinks, and corals. Those with cool undertones look best in blue-based reds, cranberry, wine, pink reds, and rosy pinks.

 

Not sure what to buy? Visit your nearby cosmetic counter or store and ask for help! The men and women there love the practice, do it for a living, and are for the most part, experts at it.

 

Have fun and go glam!

 

Just for fun, I found the above little gem. It’s a chart of what your lipstick shape reveals about your personality. As much as I’ve always tried to have a flat tip, my lipsticks are all the first example, slanted and close to the original shape. Amazingly, the description of it matches my personality almost to a tee! What about you?

Figuring out if my skin has “warm” or “cool” undertones has always been confusing for me. I tend to gravitate toward the same colors again and again clothes-wise (black, white, and khaki with an occasional pop of red, pink, emerald green, or cobalt blue), but are those the colors I should be wearing considering my skin tone? And what about lipstick and nail color? Pinks or reds? Neutrals or oranges? Are you wondering too? Then read on my fellow wonderer.

 

Under Not Over

Before we get started, it’s important to know the difference between your skin’s surface tone and its undertone. When talking “cool” or “warm” we’re not talking about the color of your skin; we’re talking about the color underneath the surface of your skin: its undertone. You can have the same skin color as someone else but have an entirely different undertone. Scarlett Johannsson and Anne Hathaway are both cool undertoned, while Jennifer Lopez and Nicole Kidman are each considered warm undertoned. I know, confusing right?

 

There are generally three undertones: cool, warm, and neutral. If you’re lucky enough to be in that last category, yay for you as you can wear just about any color. For this blog’s purpose though, I’m focusing on just warm and cool. But how, you ask, do you know which one you are?

 

Those with warm skin generally have yellow, peachy, or golden undertones while cool-toned people have more pink, red, and blue undertones. Your goal in buying everything from shirts to lipsticks is to match your skin’s undertone. Yeah, right.

 

Pass the Test

One method of determining which colors look best on you is to look at your veins. If the ones on the inside of your wrist look more greenish, you have warm golden undertones. But, if they look more blueish, you have a cool skin tone. (Interestingly, if you are “warm,” you don’t really have green veins, they look that way because you’re seeing them through yellow-toned skin and it all goes back to color mixing: yellow and blue make green!)

 

Another method is to press your thumb against your inner forearm for a few seconds then release it. Keep note of whether the spot has a flash of yellow or a flash of pink before the blood rushes back. If more yellow, you are warm. If more pink, you are cool.

 

Jewelry is another good indicator of your skin’s undertone. If you look better in silver and platinum metals, you’re probably cool toned while warm-toned girls tend to look better in gold. Keep in mind it’s not the jewelry metal you prefer or like better, but the one that looks best on your skin.

 

Do you sunburn easily and watch it turn pink or do you turn golden brown in the sun? A burn that turns pink first is a good indicator that you are cool toned but someone who can boast a tan to be envied is likely warm-toned. Either way, stay out of the sun and wear sunblock!

 

Naturally, your natural eye and hair color reveal hints as to your skin’s undertone. Again, your natural hair color! Most cool people (skin undertone speaking only!) have blue, gray, or green eyes coupled with blond, brown, or black hair but with blue, silver, violet, and ash undertones. On the other hand, someone with brown, amber, or hazel eyes and strawberry blond, red, brown, or black hair with gold, red, orange, or yellow undertones is more than likely warm toned.

 

Finally, do you look better in bright whites and true blacks or off-whites and more tan and brown shades? The former means you’re probably cool-toned while the latter makes you warm.

 

Okay, so now what? Now you can go shopping!

 

Color Me Happy

If you are a warm-toned reader, head straight to anything yellow, orange, brown, yellow-green, or warm red. My cool friends should lean toward blues, greens, pinks, purples, blue-greens, magentas, and “blue-based” reds.

 

When it comes to make-up, if you have warm undertones, choose yellow or peach-based foundation and coral or peach blush. Cool-toned girls need to stick to pink-based or neutral foundation and rosy or pink for their cheeks. Lipstick can be a little more tricky, which I painfully recently discovered in Dallas.

 

In search of a good, solid neutral lip color, I visited a reputable high-end cosmetic counter, sat down, tried on color after color, and walked away with not one lipstick. Neither warm nor cold, I was simply a hot mess. Turns out the ones I order through a Mary Kay rep are just right for me. Good to know.

 

In general, warm undertoned ladies look best in orange-reds, brick-reds, peaches, peachy pinks, and corals while those with cool undertones are complimented by lipsticks in the blue-based red, cranberry, wine, pink reds, and rosy pink spectrum. Consider the photo below exhibit A. Both are red lipsticks, right? But, the one on the left is a “cool” red while the one on the right is a “warm” red. Case closed, next case.

 

 

To make it easier, here’s a little clip and save cheat sheet to keep with you:

 

Warm Undertones

Green veins

Silver and platinum jewelry looks best

Tans doesn’t burn in sun

Eye are brown, amber, or hazel

Hair is strawberry blond, red, brown, or black hair with gold, red, orange, or   yellow undertones

Neutrals: off-white, brown, tan

Colors: yellow, orange, red

Foundation: yellow or peach-based

Blush: coral or peach

Lipstick: orange-red, brick-red, peach, peachy pink, coral

 

Cool Undertones

Blue veins

Gold jewelry looks best

Burns in the sun and burn turns pink

Eyes are blue, gray, or green

Hair is blond, brown, or black hair but with blue, silver, violet, and ash undertones.

Neutrals: white whites and true blacks.

Colors: blue, green, purple

Foundation: pink-based or neutral

Blush: rosy or pink

Lipstick: blue-based red, cranberry, wine, pink red, and rosy pink

 

 

If you’re like me, you may still be questioning what tone your undertone really is. I thought my veins looked more blue than green but I have brown hair and eyes and I rarely sunburn. I rarely wear yellow, you can’t pay me to wear orange, but I do love a good red. I am also obsessed with black and white but not so much ivory and brown.

 

Guess I need to underwrite an undertone expert.

 

Interesting sidebar: cool colors of blue, green, and purple will infuse a sense of calm and peacefulness into a room while warmer reds, oranges, and yellows work to express feelings of welcome and coziness as well as stimulation.

 

 

 

 

“Benches” by Toby Melville/Reuters

 

How many of you, when you read the above headline for this blog, thought it said “medicated” instead of “meditated?” It’s not surprising but what is surprising is how different the two are and yet how they can often have the same results: better health.

 

Meditation has been around forever but I am new to it. So new in that I went to an introductory fundamentals class yesterday and it was the first time I’d ever officially meditated. I loved it. And if you can get past all the misconceptions about it, I think you will too.

 

How have I discovered this ancient form of relaxation? Long story short, but I had lunch with a friend and one of our long-time mentors a few weeks ago. Come to find out our mentor has opened “The Meditation Bar” and she swears by the practice. Trust me; this is a woman who I would consider the last person to take the time to not only slow down, but to meditate. She is highly accomplished and is a living breathing mover and shaker. She’s likely an avid reader too and stumbled upon Dan Harris’ bestseller, “10% Happier,” which details his life in network TV news, panic attacks, and pressure beyond his control and how meditation helped him. Naturally I picked up the book and am sold.

 

It didn’t hurt that author Gretchen Rubin of the “Happiness Project,” who I love, is quoted on the cover of “10% Happier.” It may all sound too “crunchy” and “so 1960s,” but as Harris says, he wrote the book to demystify thoughts just like that and to let readers know it is totally doable, regardless of your situation, religious beliefs, or skepticism.

 

The Meditation Bar calls it “minding your mind.” Officially, meditation is simply a practice of training the mind to promote relaxation; build internal energy; and develop compassion, patience, generosity, and forgiveness. When practiced regularly, it induces a mode of consciousness that helps you acknowledge benefits rather than struggles. Most importantly, it doesn’t replace religion, it enhances it.

 

 

Yes, it was big in the wild and crazy 1960s, when Transcendental Meditation and the Maharishi encouraged admirers to “search for the hero inside yourself,” but as much as we may have made fun of the Beatles during their “weird” years, maybe they were onto something.

 

Even Britain’s “The Independent” is loosening its stiff upper lip, admitting that TM, as its followers call it, is rapidly moving from kooky to mainstream thanks largely to a burgeoning body of scientific research that shows regular meditators can expect to enjoy striking reductions in heart attack, stroke, and early mortality. And, as Harris writes, many think of meditation as a technique just for “bearded swamis, unwashed hippies, and fans of John Tesh music.” (Yes the book is both educational and entertaining!). It’s anything but though.

 

“Meditation has a PR problem,” Harris admits. “But, if you can get past the cultural baggage, you’ll find that meditation is simply exercise for your brain and in my experience it makes you 10% happier.”

 

Okay then, what’s not to love? Meditation class, here I come.

 

In the class, which was led by a wonderful woman named Stacy, I learned that a regular practice of meditation is indeed scientifically proven to lower blood pressure, reduce anxiety and depression, and will even make you sleep better. A good night’s rest is when our bodies release tons of stress and I’m proud to say that I meditated before going to sleep last night using an app Stacy recommended ((Insight Timer) and I slept like a baby!

 

 

Turn down the lights

Turn down the bed

Turn down the voices

Inside my head

“I Can’t Make You Love Me” by Bonnie Raitt

 

 

The goal of meditation is to lower those voices inside your head. That inner chatter we all have creates all kinds of trouble and keeps us from remaining cool, calm, and collected. Meditation can help bring peace of mind and will enable you to respond to things rather than react to them. Yep, I need that in a big way! This Latin girl has a Latin temper and a quick mind that can snap on a dime! I’m also a great worrier and hyper planner…both of which cause me grief and stress.

 

A proven technique that literally rewires your brain, meditation uses your senses to ground you and direct you. But, contrary to many a belief, you don’t have to turn your brain “off” to benefit from it. As Stacy so eloquently put it, “Your brain is an instrument of thought and telling it to not have thoughts is like telling your eyes, which are instruments of sight, to not see.” While meditating, you mind will roam but you will learn how to redirect those distractions.

 

Meditation is not about sleeping either. I was of the belief that you would be somewhat incoherent while meditating, but you are anything but. Surprisingly I have done mediation all my life through prayer. Many of us have.

 

Although not a religion per se, all religions have meditation in common. Hindu is probably the one most commonly associated with it and is what many believe started it all, but Christianity is right there with it. Back in the 6^th century, Benedictine monks practiced a method of reading the Bible called “Lectio Devino,” and Saints Ignatius of Loyola and Teresa of Avila further developed the method, which is still practiced today. Plus, who hasn’t heard of the Holy Rosary or prayer beads? They are both most definitely mediations methods.

 

And what about Yoga? How many of you enjoy a class of Downward Dog and Warrior 2? I’m right there with you and have come to realize that Yoga is also a form of meditation. In fact, the two are so intertwined that my meditation class ended with a “Namaste.”

 

If you’re like me, monks and Hindu gurus immediately come to mind, as do their chants. We kinda all do that though, in that we use “mantras,” which are basically the repetition of a significant word or words to help boost concentration. Mantras are done quietly and internally but once they are spoken out loud, they are chants. “Be the ball” in sports. “Thy will be done” in prayer. “3, 2, 1” in dance. All mantras. All common.

 

Another misconception about meditation is that it will mellow you so much that you become unmotivated and way too chill for today’s fast-moving world. Nope, those who meditate regularly don’t lose their edge but are said to be more likely to come up with new ideas and an increased sense of doing. Much like exercise for the body, this exercise for the mind increases your enthusiasm and clarifies your actions.

 

As The Meditation Bar explains, you will be happier, more creative, and even healthier through meditation. Happier in that your brain physically changes the more you meditate; healthier in that meditation improves immune function by boosting antibodies, develops a positive mental environment and reduces stress; and more productive in that a calm brain is a creative brain.

 

We all strive to “defang the voice in our head,” and we all struggle with inner and outer realities. It’s an never-ending circle of “am I good enough?” doubts. Even Harris, a big-time network TV reporter, admits that meditation helped him balance the image he presented to the world with the complicated murmurs in his head. Been there, done that.

 

It’s catching on. Executives, athletes, and the U.S. Marines are using meditation to improve focus, curb addictions, and stop being “yanked by their emotions.” The journal “Military Medicine” reported that veterans of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars showed a 50 percent reduction in post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms after eight weeks of TM.

 

It’s not a magic pill by any means and takes both practice and patience, but it just may create space in your head so that your anger, intolerance, and frustrations can and will decrease…not go away, but lessen.

 

I plan to enroll in more classes and to join my husband on his long-time meditation journey, but it will never replace my faith. That’s not what it’s supposed to do. It will simply allow me to experience all my blessings even more vigorously.

 

So if you want to improve your mindfulness…the art of hearing and listening but not reacting, only responding…give it a shot. Harris vows it will give you a real advantage and maybe even make you nicer! The world certainly needs more of that, right?

 

 

Such a busy weekend this week, what with Mother’s Day and the Kentucky Derby. The Derby has forever been on this mother’s Bucket List and sadly it will remain there as I have no plans to attend tomorrow’s race. I wanna do it right though. I wanna wear the hat and sit in the grandstand. I wanna bet on a long shot and drink mint juleps. Not this year, but it’s still fun to think about and fun to write about and what a great Mother’s Day gift it would be! Hint, hint.

 

Known as “the most exciting two minutes in sports, the Kentucky Derby is America’s oldest continuous sporting event and an annual odds on favorite to be a winner.  Held each May at Churchill Downs in Louisville, it is all things southern and all things spectacular.

 

It’s also packed full of rich customs and traditions, including the mint julep, amazing hats, and the singing of “My Old Kentucky Home. In short, it is a true American icon that dates back to 1875.

 

 

HIS OLD KENTUCKY HOME

Its story commenced in 1872 when Meriwether Lewis Clark, the grandson of William Clark of the famed Lewis and Clark, visited England and its Epsom Derby. He also fraternized with those of the prestigious French Jockey Club, which developed the Grand Prix de Paris Longchamps horse race. BTW, that’s why Longchamp bags have a horse insignia. Giddy up, more fashion!

 

Upon returning to the U.S., Clark made it his goal to develop a stateside race of equal grandeur and organized the Louisville Jockey Club, which to this day maintains “The American Stud Book.” The registry keeps the official tab on not Hollywood hotties but every single Thoroughbred born in the U.S.

 

On May 17, 1875 the LJC sponsored the very first Kentucky Derby. Aristides won that first race in front of 10,000 spectators. Today more than 160,000 fans will watch the annual “Run for the Roses” live in front of the famed Twin Spires of Churchill Downs.

 

Why a “derby” though, Well, the term “derby” refers to any horse race restricted to three-year-old horses, either fillies (females) or colts (males). Only Thoroughbreds race in the Kentucky Derby. These are esteemed horses whose lineage traces back to three stallions: the Darley Arabian, Byerly Turk, and Gondolphin Arabian. And what about those odd names? As I mentioned above, they are all registered by the Jockey Club and their names can be no longer than 18 characters. Another interesting tidbit is that no matter when a Thoroughbred is born, its birthday is officially January 1, supposedly making it easier to track their pedigrees. Yes sports fans, this is serious business.

 

 

HOLD ONTO YOUR HATS

Okay that’s all well and good for those who actually care about the horses, but what about the other “H” word of the Derby: hats?!  Taking in all the various styles and varieties of hats worn by women attendees is of course half the fun. It’s not just a fashion thing either. Wearing a hat to Churchill Downs is said to bring good luck. I’m down!

 

Both men and women wear hats to the Derby and what type depends on your personal style and where you plan to spend the day. Within the seated areas of Churchill Downs, hats are generally elegant and wide-brimmed but in the Infield, anything goes and they trend more eccentric and outrageous. Still, there are really no rules or limits when it comes to choosing a Derby headpiece. But, keep in mind it is also the chance to express your Southern charm or convey your inner Southern Belle, so keep it tasteful ladies. Clothing-wise, most women wear simple spring dresses so as not to compete with the real star of their outfit: the hat. Since the hat should be the focus of your outfit, there’s also no need for large, statement jewelry. Thing pearls, not bling. And be sure to pack flats as you will be walking a lot!

 

 

Men also don hats at the Derby, albeit somewhat more subtle and traditional ones. Where men go a little crazy is in their attire. A Derby man is not above wearing pastel-colored pants, tropical colors, busy plaids, bold stripes, fun gingham, and all-things seersucker. On the more traditional side, you’ll see many classic navy blazer, chalk stripe, bowties, and monograms. On foot, it’s all about the loafer…worn sockless.

 

Hats can be tough to choose though, so just what kind is a safe bet (excuse the pun!)?

 

The wide brim is an iconic Derby topper that invokes both class and drama and think color, floral accents, and individuality. Fascinators have become a more recent trend, thanks partly to Kate Middleton. The fetching headpieces are smaller and easier to wear but just as chic as their bigger cousins. For men, a fabulous French Fedora is a sure winner, as is a Boater or Skimmer, which tycoon John Jacob Astor IV favored. No ball caps or flat rims please. I’m looking at you sports fans.

 

 

IN MINT JULEP CONDITION

Now that you’re dressed to the nines, it’s time for a Mint Julep or splash of bourbon. No Kentucky Derby is complete without its signature cocktail, which has been the traditional beverage of Churchill Downs and the Kentucky Derby for nearly a century. In fact, more than 120,000 of them are served at Churchill Downs during Derby weekend each year…most of them in an heirloom silver cup or souvenir glass.

 

The origins of the mint julep are a bit murky, but it is known that Kentucky Senator Henry Clay introduced the drink to his Washington, D.C. colleagues at the famous Willard Hotel back in the 1800s. In yet another twist, it’s thought that the straw was invented thanks to the Mint Julep because such huge sprays of mint were served at the tops of the drinks that you couldn’t really drink one. The straw fixed that! According to the Derby museum, the yummy sweet cocktail became Churchill Down’s signature drink in 1938 when they sold for 75 cents. Today that wouldn’t buy you a mint sprig that comes in one.

 

Why “julep?” Historians trace the word back to an Arabic drink called a “julab,” which was made with water and rose petals. Mediterranean drinkers replaced the rose petals with mint and used the cocktail to alleviate stomach problems. Although today a julep is considered a solid southern bourbon institution, amazingly the first mint juleps were made with rye whiskey or rum, not bourbon. Well I do declare!

 

 

SMELL THE ROSES

Speaking of roses, they will be regally on display in the stands and on the track at Churchill Downs. Each losing participant in the Derby gives a fresh bouquet to the winner who will also be draped in a satin garland of more than 400 red “Freedom Roses” and will receive 60 long-stemmed roses wrapped in 10 yards of ribbon. “The Run for the Roses” is indeed just that.

 

Roses and the Derby go way back. At one time, all women attending the swanky Louisville Derby Party were given a fragrant bloom, which became the official flower of the Kentucky Derby in 1904.

 

 

THE CROWN JEWEL OF SPORTS

But back to the sports angle, which after all, is what the Kentucky Derby really is. It’s not the “most exciting two minutes of fashion,” although it probably could be the “most exciting two days of hat fashion!” It’s a sporting event that has morphed into a social affair. You know because….it’s fun!

 

The first of what is considered the “Triple Crown” of horse races, the Kentucky Derby is also the shortest of the three races at just 1 ¼ miles…hence the most exciting two minutes! To win the coveted Triple Crown, a horse must win the Derby, the Preakness Stakes, and the Belmont Stakes in the same year. This is no easy task, with only 12 Triple Crown winners in the event’s long and storied history.

 

Last year American Pharoah stole the show and America’s hearts by winning the first Triple Crown since Affirmed did so 1978. That’s nearly 40 years! It was exciting. It was historic.

 

Country music trio Lady Antebellum is set to sing the National Anthem tomorrow at around 5 p.m. but the real singing highlight will be when 160,000 fans join the University of Louisville marching band to croon “My Old Kentucky Home” at around 6:30 p.m. during the horse parade, a tradition that started in 1921. Right after that, the horses run and another quest for the Triple Crown begins.

 

Someday I will be there. I even have the hat for it. Someday. You can bet on it.

 

Last week my dear college friend Ann texted me and the other three women who make up my annual college girls trip travelling buddies. The five of us have been friends for more than 30 years and they mean the world to me. We all live in different cities and states so I deeply cherish whenever I get to see them. What Ann texted made me smile.

 

 

It looked like something from a daily devotional she might use and was titled “Find your moai. Her personal message with it was, “how ironic…there are five of us.” You see, a “moai” is a group of five friends committed to one another for life. The word is Japanese for “meeting for a common purpose” and originated in Okinawa, Japan. There, community support groups provide social, financial, health, and spiritual care and are considered one of the leading factors of the famously long lifespans Okinawans enjoy. In fact, the region has one of the highest concentrations of centenarians in the world. Hello moai!

 

The info in Ann’s message went on to suggest one “identify the people in your life who make you feel most valued and supported and invest the majority of your energy in those relationships.” Even though I see these women once, maybe two or three times a year if I’m lucky, I get it. They (along with others) are my moai and moi feels blessed to have them.

 

More Than Sushi

It seems I’ve had a lot of Japanese influences in my life lately.

 

I recently blogged about the book “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” and its Japanese method of decluttering and organizing and how it’s changed my current “I’m moving” situation.

 

I’ve also been following my two nieces Monica and Tessa as they travel around Japan to see my Japanese nephew-in-law Takeshi’s family and show Tessa and Takeshi’s new son his dad’s homeland. Monica has posted lots of interesting observations, the kind I just LOVE, and I thought I’d share some…

 

• They don’t drink soda in Japan.
• Rice is served with every meal.
• There are no single-story homes and all houses have clothes lines because dryers are extremely rare.
• You give up your seat IMMEDIATELY for an elder, disabled person, or pregnant woman on a bus or train. Even an elderly person gives up a seat for a “more” elderly person.
• You stand on the left side of an escalator unless you are passing.
• Everyone is thin!
• Japanese don’t wear sunglasses outside. (what?!)
• You need to get used to constantly taking your shoes on and off everywhere you go.
• Taxi cabs are spotless. Spotless windows. Spotless seats. They smell fresh and drivers are “dressed to the nines.” Doors also open automatically for you when entering and exting a cab.
• Bus drivers wear masks and whisper where they are going so as not to awaken sleeping passengers.
• There are almost no public trash cans to be had. One hangs onto their trash until one is found.
• No one says “Bless you” when you sneeze.
• Public bathrooms are equipped with buttons on the wall that make the sound of running water when you push them to make your toileting experience and those next to you more discreet.

 

For Goodness Sake

Something else interesting that I learned long ago is that you never pour your own Sake. It is part of a Japanese etiquette rule called “o-shaku.” In general, it is considered much more polite to pour Sake for others but never directly for yourself, resulting in an atmosphere of social interaction and common courtesy. No worries though, as the small Sake cups traditionally used in Japan allow for everyone to have the opportunity to pour and receive. When receiving Sake, lift your cup off the table, hold it with two hands, and take a sip before setting it back down. What’s not to love about this tradition?!

 

All of these endearing customs demonstrate how deeply connected and rooted Sake is to Japanese culture. Known as the “drink of Gods” in Japan, Sake has ancient and important ties to religious ceremonies, traditions, and beliefs. It is said that if you get to know Sake, you get to know Japan.

 

All this talk about Japan got me thinking; I wonder what my dad would think of all this. A United States Navy vet, he fought in WWII and the Japanese were enemies of America. The mere mention of Pearl Harbor may have made him cringe, but I have no doubt he would be so proud of my niece and would love her husband. Still, how times have changed, right? Change is good.

 

Being the information nut that I am, I also researched just a tad about the “Land of the Rising Sun.” I just can’t help myself!

 

 

Head East

The name “Japan” is actually the English word for the country. The Japanese names are Nippon and Nihon, both of which mean “the sun’s origin.” Japan is said to see the first Earth’s sunrise every day and the terminology also refers to the island nation’s position from China.

 

Japanese history and culture is connected to China also in its system of writing called Kanji, which means Chinese letter or character. Invented by the Chinese and adopted by Japan in the 6^th Century, Kanji characters convey meaning not just sound and were originally drawn as pictures from nature. There are said to be more than 5,000 Kanji and by their ninth birthday, Japanese students are required to know nearly 2,000 of them. The first picture or Kanji or Japan means “sun” and the second one means “base or origin,” hence “the land of the rising sun!” The Japanese flag also depicts this image, with the red circle in the middle symbolizes the sun as well as “brightness” and “warmth,” while the white background signifies honesty and purity.

 

I don’t know about you, but I just love learning these types of things. I’m hoping I haven’t gotten any of it wrong but am counting on my niece to correct me if I have. Tessa lived and worked in Japan for many years, met her husband there, and was there during the 2011 tsunami.  I would love to know more and needless to say, I know just who to ask!

 

So, sayounara! Oh wait, that’s not correct. Believe it or not, Japanese people don’t walk around saying what we commonly think of as “goodbye” in Japanese. That’s because “sayounara” has a strong sense of finality and is only used when you think you might not see that person again or at least for a very long time. So at the risk of being disrespectful or just wrong, I’ll end by saying “thank you for reading this blog today,” so how about just “arigatou.” I’m pretty sure that means “thank you” in Japanese!

 

 

 

 

William Shakespeare. The mere mention of the English poet, playwright, and actor conjures up images of memorable plays or not-so-memorable English Lit reading assignments. I was never a huge Shakespeare lover but I do respect and appreciate his legacy. It’s a legacy that 400 years ago today came to an end with Mr. Shakespeare’s death on May 3, 1616.

 

Love him or hate his work, William Shakespeare is widely regarded as the greatest English language writer and dramatist and is considered England’s national poet. Just a few of his “greatest hits” include “Hamlet,” “Macbeth,” “Romeo and Juliet,” “Othello,” “King Lear,” “A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” “Merchant of Venice,” and “Taming of the Shrew.”

 

Whether you’ve read them or not or whether you’ve seen them performed, you know of them. You know Juliet dies and you know both Hamlet and Macbeth were kings. But, did you know you owe much of what you say to William Shakespeare? Consider this:

 

Full circle? Yep.

Piece of work? Yeppers.

Good riddance? Check.

Love is blind? Check and double check.

Amazing, right? No wonder his legend didn’t vanish into thin air following his death. Oh wait, that’s one of his lines too.

 

Famous and amazing yes, but William Shakespeare is also somewhat of a mystery.

 

Though no birth records exist, Biography.com notes that church records indicate a William Shakespeare was baptized at Holy Trinity Church in Stratford-upon-Avon on April 26, 1564. Most scholars observe April 23, 1564 as his birthday, allowing for the three traditional days between birth and baptism. After that, very few records exist of his childhood and virtually none about his education. Legendary writer of many a student’s books and yet his own education is unknown? Cue the mystery.

 

That’s right. Although works by William Shakespeare are known throughout the world and have been performed on every corner of the globe for more than 400 years, his personal history has shadowy origins. In fact, his story could easily be one of his productions!

 

Other than church and court records, the only historical sources historians have to work with are his works. Maybe that’s how he wanted it to be.

 

 

What is known is that he was the third child of leather merchant John Shakespeare and his wife Mary Arden, a local heiress. Young William had two older sisters and three younger brothers. When he was 18-years-old he married 26-year-old Anne Hathaway and they later had three children, including twins. Now is where his life really gets cryptic.

 

Following the birth of the twins, there are seven years of Shakespeare’s life that are called the “lost years,” as no records exist of him or his family. Speculation varies as to what happened during this period and some even question whether William Shakespeare really existed.

 

By the early 1590s however, documents show a William Shakespeare was managing partner in the Lord Chamberlain’s Men, an acting company in London, and that he was indeed earning a living as an actor and playwright. He may have even produced some plays during this time.

 

The years that followed were some of his most successful, as 15 of his 37 plays were published; earning him enough money to purchase the second largest house in Stratford called New House. Soon after, Shakespeare and his partners built their own theatre on the banks of London’s famed Thames River. The rest as they say is history. Literally.

 

 

Even in his writing though, Shakespeare danced to a beat all his own. His early plays were written in the conventional style of the day but incorporated elaborate metaphors and rhetorical phrases that didn’t always align naturally with the story’s plot or characters. Shakespeare was not only very talented but very innovative as well. Even with little or no education, he learned to adapt the traditional writing style of the times while creating his own free-flowing technique.

 

His writings started as historical ones, with the exception of “Romeo and Juliet.” He then penned what might be considered a comedy today, “A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” as well as the romantic “Merchant of Venice” and witty “Much Ado About Nothing.” He turned charmer with “As You Like It” but then focused on tragedy with “Hamlet,” “King Lear,” “Othello,” and “Macbeth.”

 

Shakespeare’s works are studied and performed worldwide on a regular basis, but his reputation as a dramatic genius wasn’t recognized until the 19th century. Perhaps, as bio.com writes, the genius of Shakespeare’s characters and plots are that they present real human beings in a wide range of emotions and conflicts; characters who also transcend their Elizabethan English origins. He was an original who lived by his own words: “To thine own self be true.”

 

Well-played Mr. Shakespeare. Well-played.