Beyond Words

Guess what today is?  Yes, it’s Saturday and yes it’s the first Saturday this Fall without an ESPN “Gameday” to watch, which makes me very sad, but it’s also something more significant.

Today is 12/13/14.  Not only is it perhaps the perfect day to get married so the groom can never forget his anniversary date, it’s also the last sequential calendar date for at least 20 years!  The next time this happens will be 1/2/34, as in 2034!  And think about it, the next 12/13/14 won’t be until December 13, 2114.

Gamblers love these types of dates and expectant parents often induce the birth of a child if the due date falls anywhere near today or any other “special” date.  It’s rare and it’s distinctive.

This all brought to mind a blog I wrote back in 2012, my second ever posting.  In honor of 12/13/14, I thought I’d share it with you again.  Enjoy today and every day!

Dates with Destiny June 11, 2012

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Dates.  Not the kind you go on with the opposite sex.  Not the type you eat.  I’m talking about those numbers on a calendar; particularly the ones that mean something.  Dates, you see, are often anything but trivial.  Many even have widely popular and Webster-worthy names.   Blind dates.  First dates.  Travel dates.  Game dates.  Dates with destiny.

Dates are magical numbers in our lives.  In posting my previous blog, my very first one, I noticed it was on June 9, a somewhat surprising memorable day for me.  You see, June 9 was our daughter’s due date.  For nearly nine months that was “the” day for me, as everything revolved around it.  Now, 19 years later, I still remember it and find it somewhat prophetic that this empty nester’s first blog was posted on that very date…all by coincidence.  The reason I find it surprisingly memorable is because June 9 is not my daughter Kristen’s birthday.  No, she decided to come 3 ½ weeks early on May 16.  Still, June 9 will forever hold a special place in my memory bank.

We all have our own “June 9^th,” or what I like to call distinctive dates.  Birthdays, anniversaries, the day you won the lottery.  These, you might say, are the happy, celebratory ones.  We also, however, have more somber dates etched in our minds.  The day a loved one passed away, the day of a personal tragic event and, of course, September 11, a date that will never be the same for most of us.

Future dates are also significant.  Our smart phones and laptops are filled with them.  We use them to plan our lives and sometimes even those of others. We boast of target dates, holy dates, and dates that we promise to start something new or achieve something grand.  But, “a goal without a date is just a dream,” (Milton H. Erickson), so choose your dates wisely.  Literally!

I recently saw a cute idea called “The Dates Our Lives Were Forever Changed” on Pinterest via Etsy to commemorate special dates.   It’s a framed print of dates of your choice.  It got me thinking:  what dates would I include on it?  How about you, what dates would you use?  Do you have one that’s personally unique or one the rest of us haven’t thought of?  Do share!

In the end, today may not be a “special” date for you, but make it special anyway and, as Annette Funicello once said, “life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful.”

Have a wonderful day!

Poor Dasher!  Happy Friday!

“Are you interested in donating to….” is what I heard over and over again while doing some Christmas shopping and taking care of general household errands yesterday.  It seemed like ever register I went to to pay for my items I was asked to donate to that store’s Christmas charity of choice.  Don’t get me wrong, I really like to donate to worthy causes, but this year’s constant questioning left me a little, well, uncharitable.

I may have been more sensitive than normal because right before leaving to do my shopping I had donated what I think was fairly substantial amounts to my two charities of choice this year.  Each year my husband and I choose two (or in his case this year, one) charities to donate to.  In the past our favorite non-profits have ranged from our church and its programs to Scottish Rite Hospital in Dallas to the Boys and Girls Club in my husband’s hometown.  We focus on our interests and how our lives have been impacted by certain organizations and go from there.

As many of you know, I love dogs and I’m passionate about our nation’s military.  For that reason The Austin Dog Alliance’s “Hounds for Heroes” was one of my 2014 choices.  The new program supplies therapy dogs for wounded servicemen and women.  I am thrilled to help!  Secondly, and don’t scoff here, but I chose to donate to my daughter’s sorority at OU.  Before you him and haw, listen to my reasoning.   This is Kristen’s senior year at OU and Alpha Chi Omega has played a big role in making her four years in school memorable.  It has provided her housing, food, but most of all a group of life-long and trusted friends.  When my very own sorority at OU cut Kristen during recruitment, AXO was there to pledge her and pledge their love.  I will never, ever forget this and even though I’m an alum of my house, they will never see another penny of mine.  Alpha Chi Omega will.  Nanny, nanny, boo, boo?  Maybe just a little.

Choose Wisely

So, how should one choose what charities or philanthropies to donate to?  Most experts say the most important criteria is that you have a personal connection to that charity.  You want to be able to not only donate resources to it, but your heart as well.  Enter “Hounds for Heroes” for me, as not only did I donate to the cause, but I also volunteer at the Dog Alliance.

Donating time is just as important as donating money and it’s nothing to be ashamed of if you simply can’t afford to give money.  The first thing you should think about prior to making any charitable donations is your financial stability.  Things like paying off debt, contributing to a savings plan, having adequate insurance, and building an emergency cash reserve should all be taken care of prior to even considering giving large amounts of money to any charity.  Until then, that charity is sure to welcome your time and talents.  As Dallas financial planner J. Tyler Russell told The Wall Street Journal, “The best analogy I can give when it comes to gifting is the standard airline-safety protocol.  If there is a sudden loss of air pressure in the cabin, secure your own mask before helping those around you.”  Genius!

If you are blessed with the resources to give this holiday season, know that it’s not only the season of giving but the season of scams.  To avoid getting duped, follow your philanthropic passions but be sure to take the time to find the right charity to give to.  Do your research to ensure that the charity you’re considering is efficient, ethical, and effective.  Once you find the perfect one for you, know that 100 percent of your gift will never go completely to their programs.  All charities must pay for costs like postage, utilities, salaries, and insurance.  A good rule of thumb according to charitynavigator.org is to focus your donations on those charities that give no less than 75 percent of donations to programs and leave a scant 25 percent for overhead costs.

The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly?

Potential donors in recent months and years have voiced concerns over multi-million dollar salaries of the CEOs of many charities.   For the past nine years, Charity Navigator has examined compensation packages of nearly 4,000 mid-to-large sized U.S. charities.  Their research found that some CEOs are indeed making the big bucks but they are also running multi-million dollar operations.  Leading one of these charities requires someone who understands not only the charity and its mission, but also someone with a high level of fundraising and management expertise.  These leaders are paid according to the marketplace so six-figure salaries are not uncommon.

That said, CEOs in the northeast were found to be the most highly paid as were those leading charities in the Public Benefit category.  Not surprisingly, the larger the charity, the higher its head’s salary is.

Forbes magazine also conducts an annual survey of charities that receive the most private donations each year.  For 2013, the largest U.S. charities, based on donations were:

1. United Way – $3.9 billion
2. Salvation Army – $1.9 billion
3. Task Force for Global Health – $1.7 billion
4. Feeding America – $1.5 billion
5. Catholic Charities – $1.4 billion

In its rankings, Forbes also includes what it calls “All-Star Charities,” which in 2013 included Brother’s Brother Foundation, Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, and Boys & Girls Club of America.

Barring any natural disaster, I like my money to stay local.  But there are some national charities that you might consider, based on how much of donated funds actually go to those in need.  They are:

1. Salvation Army. Even though its commissioner manages a $2 billion organization, recent records show he receives a small salary of $13,000 per year plus housing. In addition, 96 percent of donated dollars go to the cause.
2. Veterans of Foreign Wars. The National Commander of the VFW receives no salary, allowing your donations to go directly to veterans and their families.
3. Make a Wish Foundation. 100 percent of earnings go to funding the wishes of critically ill children.
4. St. Jude Research Hospital. Created by actor Danny Thomas and now run by daughter Marlo, St. Jude’s uses 100 percent of its funding to help children with cancer who have no insurance and can’t afford to pay for treatment.
5. Ronald McDonald Houses. 100 percent of this charity’s donations go to running houses for parents who have critical children in the hospital.

On the flip-side, you might want to do some serious research into just how much of each dollar from the following charities goes to those in need:  The American Red Cross, March of Dimes, The United Way, UNICEF, and even Goodwill.  It’s estimated that some of them give only one dime of every dollar or even less than five cents of every donated to dollar to the cause.  Again, do your research!

The best advice I can give is to open your heart and give with only the best intentions.  Even the smallest donation is always appreciated and don’t forget your time and talents.  It’s the season to give but don’t feel pressured.  “Would you like to donate?”  Yes, but please don’t pressure me.

I always love celebrating the feast of Saint Nicholas with my little preschoolers.  They love learning that he was the original Santa Claus, they love taking their shoes off and walking around in only their socks, and they love returning to find gold coins inside of them “from” Saint Nicholas.

“Santa,” by the way, means “saint” in Spanish.  It’s no coincidence that Santa Claus got that name and it’s no coincidence that St. Nicholas often wore a red robe and had a long, white beard.

Legend has it that Nicholas, who was a bishop in what is now Turkey, heard about three sisters who were very poor so he climbed onto their roof and threw gold coins down their chimney, which landed in their stockings that were drying on the fireplace.  Hmmmm….stockings on a mantel and someone climbing on a roof and giving gifts.  Again, no coincidence here.

If you’re still not convinced, revisit “The Night Before Christmas,” in which it is St. Nick who slides down the chimney, has a bowl full of jelly, and hollers “Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer and Vixen, on Comet,  on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen!”   Not one mention of Santa is made throughout the timeless tale.

Today jolly old St. Nick is considered the patron saint of children and we celebrate his feast day on December 6.

St. Lucy is also a popular December saint, especially in Sweden where she is called St. Lucia.  The name Lucy means “light” and light is how she is celebrated.  Her legend comes from stories told by Monks who first brought Christianity to Sweden.

The most common story is that young Lucy would secretly bring food to persecuted Christians in Rome who lived in hiding in the catacombs under the city. Lucy would wear candles on her head so she had both her hands free to carry things and so she could see in the dark underground. Her feast day, December 13, is now celebrated by a girl dressing in a white dress and a crown of candles on her head.  The crown is made of Lingonberry branches, which are evergreen and symbolize new life in winter.  Towns and villages often select a local girl to play St. Lucy, a national Lucy is chosen, and young girls all over Sweden dress up as St. Lucy.   St. Lucy Day is also celebrated in Denmark, Norway, Finland, Bosnia, Croatia and anywhere there are large Scandinavian populations.

St Lucy is considered the patron saint of the blind and those with eye-trouble and she reminds us that the beautiful lights of Christmas honor the birth of Jesus, the true Light of the World.

South of the border in Mexico, the same level of adoration is bestowed upon Our Lady of Guadalupe.  The story goes that Juan Diego witnessed a Marian apparition of an Indian woman dressed like an Aztec princess who sent him to ask the bishop of Mexico City to build a chapel on the spot where she appeared.  The bishop was not convinced it was Mary so she appeared again and gave roses to Juan Diego to take to the bishop.  When Juan Diego opened his cloak to deliver the roses, on the fabric was a portrait of Mary as she had appeared to him, ultimately convincing the bishop and all who believe.  We celebrate Our Lady of Guadalupe’s feast day on December 12 and she is considered the patron of the Americas.

Our Lady of Guadalupe has always held a special place in my heart, as I attended OLAG school in Santa Fe, made my First Holy Communion in the beautiful church there, and was married in it as well.  I also love that she told Juan Diego, “Let not your heart be disturbed.  Do not grieve nor be disturbed by anything.”  From her we learn both faith and understanding.

Those are just three of the saints honored around Christmastime.  Saints are considered “heroes” of the Catholic church and who doesn’t need a hero in these trying and tumultuous times?  Let’s all take the time to pray and remember the real Reason for the Season.

“Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend,” Theophrastus

That was the daily quote I received in an email yesterday.  I receive the quotes every day, but this one resonated with me in a big way.

It’s the Christmas season, which means buying presents for loved ones, donating to worthy causes, and helping those in need.  In other words, spending money.  But, what if we spent more time than money with those we love?  What a wonderful and powerful present our presence can make in someone’s life.

Time is what we seem to have less and less of, especially this time of year.  But isn’t time what we would all love more of, especially quality time spent with friends and family?  I don’t know about you, but dinners with my family and stress-free walks with them would make me much happier than another piece of jewelry or a gift certificate to somewhere I don’t need.

Instead of buying someone everything on their list, how about considering these Christmas gift suggestions:

To your enemy, give forgiveness

To an opponent, tolerance

To a friend, your heart

To a customer, friendly service

To a child, a good example

To your family, real love

To all, charity

To yourself, respect

These “gifts” won’t cost a thing but are worth more than anything money can buy.

So I haven’t been writing much of my blog in recent weeks.  I’ve been sick, I’ve been stressed, and I’ve not been inspired.  On this First Sunday of Advent however, God has inspired me.

I like the above quote as a way of putting Advent, and life, in perspective.

Advent is a time of patient waiting.  Waiting for Christmas to come and waiting to celebrate the birth of our Lord.  Waiting is not always easy but it seems like I’ve been doing a whole lot of waiting lately.  Waiting for my health to improve.  Waiting for challenges in my life to work themselves out.  Waiting to make choices and decisions.  Maybe all I need to really do is wait for God to show me HIS plans.

That is one of my favorite bible verses but yet it’s one I sometimes find difficult living by.  I know His plans for me are good, but then why do bad things happen?  The question to end all questions, right?

Perhaps a look at the four candles of an Advent wreath can give me (and you) some concepts to focus on during the weeks ahead and leading to Christmas.

Week 1, which started today, is begun by the lighting of a purple candle to signify hope.  I will continue to hope against all hope that my prayers will be heard and answered.

On the Second Sunday of Advent, another purple candle is lit as a symbol of love.  I want nothing more than love in my life and I need to remind myself that He loves me unconditionally and will get me through anything.

A pink Advent wreath candle is lit on the Third Sunday of Advent as a way of reminding us of joy.  I am so busy and often tired during this time of year but I vow to slow down some and drink in the joys that are all around me, even those disguised as challenges or disappointments.

Finally, on the Fourth Sunday of Advent one more purple candle is lit.  This candle denotes peace.  As I plan the weeks ahead I will work hard at remaining peaceful and creating peace wherever I can.

Easy peasy, right?  Probably not, but this first Sunday of Advent is the perfect time to start anew.  I will wait.  I will pray.  And I will continue to find hope, joy, and peace.

The focus in Austin this past weekend literally and figuratively shifted from live music and college football to hair pin turns and pit crews as Formula 1 racing brought a touch of European fever to the city’s Circuit of the Americas racetrack. Creatively dubbed “How the West Was F1” this year, you might say Grand Prix racing has found a home in Texas.  It was the third year Austin hosted the U.S.’s only F1 tour stop and I was lucky enough to attend it for the first time.

How much do I know about racing and about cars in general?  Zilch.  Bupkus.  Zip.  I know a little about NASCAR and Indy, but my only foray into the F1 world was the 2013 movie “Rush,” which centered on the rivalry between rival drivers James Hunt and Niki Lauda.

How much did I learn about it while watching Saturday’s races? Not much but it was still very interesting. You see, Formula 1 and the people who follow it make-up a culture all their own.  An intriguing and knowledgeable culture.  You don’t have to be a race aficionado or a sports fan to enjoy it all.  It’s more than a race.  It’s an event.

The atmosphere was electric and the pageantry was grand. A total experience, it combined the energy of a Super Bowl with the attractions of a state fair. The place was packed with foreigners too, which made me think how cool it would be to go to the Olympics. Being that it was in Austin, live music was naturally a part of it all.

I did learn a few things from some seasoned attendees sitting near us, including the fact that something that I totally can’t explain was done to the cars to make them not so loud and that an estimated 80 percent of attendees are in all probability foreign. Today at my gym someone mentioned that they heard today, the Monday after F1, is the busiest flight day in Austin, trumping even SXSW and ACL, two events that bring a ton of people to town but many of whom drive to the events.

F1 is money. Helicopters ferry guests in and out and it reportedly costs millions to own a race car, much less sponsor a team.  It’s the big leagues yet a league all its own at the same time.

Being that this is Austin though, things were perhaps a bit more casual then at other tour stops like Monaco or Belgium. I went expecting Kentucky Derbyish attire, but what I saw were national flags worn as capes, red Ferrari hats and shirts everywhere, and the occasional cowboy boots.   The food was just as eclectic but of course included Fletcher’s famous corny dogs.

It was great to walk around the carnival-like atmosphere hearing so many different languages, seeing race enthusiasts dressed in attire that screamed “I am not from the U.S.,” and to simply people watch.  The people, come to find out, are as thrilling and fascinating as the race itself!

Formula 1 racing is big and is big business. Just to enter a race costs upwards of $500,000.  Formally called the Formula One World Championship, it is the highest class of single-seat auto racing sanctioned by the Federation Internationale de l’Automobile.   The “formula”  in the name refers to a set of rules that all teams must comply with. The F1 season consists of a series of races, known as Grand Prix events, held throughout the world on both purpose-built circuits like Austin’s and public roads.  Formula One cars race at speeds of up to 225 mph and are the fastest road course racing cars in the world. Trust me, they are fast and they are loud!

Europe is the sport’s traditional base but F1 has a total global television audience of approximately 527 million people. It is a multi-billion-dollar industry and its drivers boast rock star status among fans.  They are compensated well, earning the highest salary of any professional drivers, including Indy Car and NASCAR drivers.  The highest paid driver in 2010 was Fernando Alonso, who got a $40 million salary from Ferrari, a record for any driver. 

Austin’s COTA F1 track is 3.427-miles and the circuit was the first in the United States to be purpose-built for Formula One. The race appears to be getting more successful each year and increasingly popular with the locals, but its conception was controversial at the start, mainly due to cost and a general  unfamiliarity with the concept.  Still, the facility has fast become the city’s go-to concert venue with everyone from Jimmy Buffett to Brad Paisley entertaining sold out crowds from its glorious outdoor stage.  COTA is also home to a new X Games stop and many other racing events year round.

As an all-around sports fan I feel lucky to have attended the event, recommend it to others, and would probably do so again. Would I travel across the globe to see one like so many do?  Probably not.   It’s all made me long to complete a race trifecta though.  Next up:  Daytona and Indy!  Fingers crossed.  Start my engines.

Happy Halloween!

It’s probably not something you’re proud of.

#HappinessProject

Everyone is talking about Ebola these days, and although the deadly virus may very well pose a massive health threat to our nation, perhaps the bigger threat is the common cold and flu. Flu season is upon us so how can you keep from catching what your co-worker has?

First of all, know that just because the weather gets cold does not mean you will catch a cold. Contrary to what even my mom still tells us, the temperature outside has nothing to do with the risk of getting a cold or the flu.  Not even running outside with wet hair during a snow storm will increase your chances of getting sick.  It’s true that people tend to get colds more so during the winter, but that’s mainly because we are indoors more so during the colder months of the year.  Being close and closed in with others increases the spread of germs, which increases the chances of getting sick.  It’s that simple.

Schools are often ground zero for those cold and flu causing germs. You can take some very simple steps, however, to decrease the odds of your kids getting sick.  Make it a habit to have your kids change clothes immediately upon returning home after a school day, which could prevent them from spreading any germs they picked up at school in your home.  It also goes without saying that they should also wash their hands as they come home.

Washing hands, in fact, is what many experts say is the best way to prevent the spread of germs. The cold virus can live on surfaces for up to 24 hours so wash them often and after touching things like public pens or pencils, keyboards, and other places that harbor viruses.  Be sure to wash in between your fingers and wash those fingertips as they are often the first point of germ contact.  Teach your kids to always “catch” their sneezes and coughs in their elbows, not their hands, and for Pete’s sake tell them to leave their noses alone!  No picking and no scratching, puh-leeze!  Do you have a thumb-sucker?  Now’s the perfect time to break that germ-spreading habit!  And, if someone is sick, stand at least three feet away from them if possible, which is how far a sneeze can travel.  Eeewww!

Most importantly, if your child is even a little bit sick, keep him or her home! And, the same goes for you:  don’t go to work or to any enclosed public spaces if you are sick.

Starve a cold, feed a fever? Who knows for sure, but ther are some things you can eat or drink that may help prevent a cold or the duration of one.  I remember growing up we would always eat green chile when we were sick and, to this day, I believe it works.  Now I know why.  Hot peppers of many types are packed with capsaicin, a natural and effective decongestant, so anything from serranos to jalapenos will help clear your sinuses.  Garlic, oatmeal, and black tea are natural immune boosters and may also prove beneficial.  My mom taught me ears ago to chop a couple of garlic gloves into pill-size pieces, squeeze lemon juice over them, and then swallow them like pills.  The garlic will literally “sweat” the cold out of you.  It works but you probably don’t want to be near a lot of people during the process!

Lastly, drink plenty of liquids. It’s not uncommon for someone with a cold to get dehydrated so drink away and eat foods that contain salt (chicken soup!) because they help replace minerals your body loses due to dehydration.

What you shouldn’t do is rely on an antibiotic. Colds are viruses, not bacterial infections, so antibiotics are of no help.  It’s best just to let a cold run its course by eating and drinking right and getting plenty of rest.  If you do get a fever or start to feel worse after three or four days however, it’s time to call the doctor.  Colds can lead to sinus infections, pneumonia, and even bronchitis so it’s best to get them checked if symptoms don’t improve or worsen.

Many people rely on vitamin C, zinc, and other supplements to prevent or expedite the length of a cold. Some studies have shown that zinc may indeed decrease how long a cold lasts by one day but it’s recommended you take zinc in a lozenge form and not a nasal spray.  Vitamin C can also be beneficial but surprisingly exercise may affect its effectiveness.  One study revealed that regularly taking more than 200 mg of vitamin C per day and then exercising cuts the duration of a cold.  What?  The last thing I feel like doing when I have a cold is exercising, but maybe I need to rethink my laziness!  Still, doctors agree that if your symptoms are above the neck (runny nose, sore throat, headache) it’s okay to exercise but if you’ve got symptoms below the neck like chest congestion or bodily aches and pains, exercise is probably not a good idea.

I still haven’t gotten my flu shot and I know I need to. I get one every year and I’ve never gotten the flu.  Knock on wood and get in line Carla!

If you have any unique or unusual tips on how to prevent a cold or cut one’s duration, please share!   God bless you!