Beyond Words

 

 

“A teacher affects eternity: he can never tell where his influence stops.” Henry Adams

I was watching an NFL game last weekend and was really impressed by a PSA featuring a player talking about how a certain teacher in his life influenced him.  It was all part of a campaign in support of America’s teachers…most of whom hopefully have today off for Columbus Day!  Like that NFL player, I bet you could quickly and easily name a special teacher in your life.  I can remember like it was yesterday learning that I’d gotten Mrs. Winston for fourth grade.  It was as if I’d won the lottery!

 

I guess you could say I’m a teacher in that I teach three-year-olds at my church’s preschool, but I’m not a certified or degreed teacher.  Still, today’s society demands that I not only love and nurture my students, but that I start making them Kindergarten ready by age 4.  Watching the recent debates made me realize that education in America is at a cross-roads.  How is it that my three-year-olds are being taught letter sounds but many of today’s elementary kids are only just beginning these lessons?  Education, like life, is often unfair.

 

I consider “real” teachers true heroes in our country…those in it for the right reasons that is.  They essentially have our country’s future in their hands and in their classrooms.  Those teaching in America’s inner cities and underprivileged schools, even more so.  I always respected Ms. Vanessa, Kristen’s former riding instructor.  “V” is funny, loving, and boasts brilliant horsemanship.  Vanessa is also a high school English teacher and for many years chose to teach in an underprivileged school.  I remember asking her one day why she didn’t transfer to a more wealthy school and she essentially said because she knew she was making a real difference in her students’ lives.  It all reminded me of a story I once heard called “What Teachers Make.”  I thought I’d share it with you in salute of those who are changing our children’s lives.

 

“What Teachers Make”

 

The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life.  One man, a rich and cocky CEO, decided to explain the problem with our education system.  He reminded the dinner guests of the old saying, “Those who can, do.  Those who can’t, teach.”  He then turned to a guest who was a teacher and asked, “You’re a teacher.  Be honest.  What do you make?”

 

Having the reputation for honesty and frankness, she replied, “You want to know what I make?  Here’s what I make:”

 

I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.

I make a C+ feel like a winner of the Congressional Medal of Honor.

I make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall in absolute silence.

I make kids wonder.

I make them question things.

I make them criticize wrongs.

I make them apologize and mean it.

I make them write and I make them read.

I make them show all their work in math and perfect their final drafts in English.

I make them understand that if you have the brains and follow your heart you can do anything and if someone ever tries to judge you by what you make, you must pay no attention because they just didn’t learn.”

I, MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

 

Remember, teachers make ever other profession possible.

What do YOU make?  What do you teach?

 

 

“Don’t worry about anything and have no anxiety.  Instead, tell God your needs and thank Him for His answers.  If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest.”  Phil. 4:6-7

Happy Friday everyone!

   

 

I just returned from a visit to New Orleans and came home with a blog’s-worth load of tales to tell.  It wasn’t my first visit to the home of the Saints (and sinners!) – I have been there many times – but it was the first time since starting this blog.  As we all know, New Orleans is synonymous with imaginative food and imaginative fun.  It is a city blessed with a bevy of natural attractions and a unique culture.  Unfortunately, New Orleans also has an abundance of sordidness.

 

Is “The Big Easy” really “The Big Sleazy?”  In some ways, yes, absolutely; at least in most tourist areas.  Walk down any street in the famous French Quarter and you’ll be treated to fine eateries, distinctive shops, and of course those celebrated drinking establishments.  Three-hour lunch at Galatoires?  Check.  Antiques on Royal Street?  Check.  Hurricanes at Pat O’Brien’s?  Check, check.

 

Sadly, you’ll also be subjected to everything and anything related to sleaze and smut…whether or not you want to be.  You can’t run from it in the French Quarter and you can’t hide from it.  Gaze up and you’ll find the city’s instantly recognizable distinctive lace-work balconies and legendary lanterns.  Look down, however, and you’ll see things you probably don’t care to see…ever.  Yes, I get it, it’s all part of the “Nawlins” experience, but why?  In my humble opinion, that kind of stuff should be found in cities that don’t have as much historical and epicurean appeal as New Orleans.

 

It’s a little disturbing to walk out of a celebrated restaurant that requires jackets on men, only to run right into a strip club that’s not hiding much from the innocent passerby.  I do love Brennan’s Bananas Foster, Café Du Monde’s beignets and Drago’s oysters, but I would like them a lot more in a city that knows how to clean itself up.  Don’t get me wrong, I like New Orleans.  It just saddens me that a city would choose to be so, well, shady in so many ways.  Even New York City cleaned up it’s act.

 

Most people I talked to agree and say that New Orleans, much like Las Vegas, is one of those cities you’re usually ready to leave, unlike say a tropical island.  Those same people also feel New Orleans needs to stop with the Katrina stuff.  Enough.  It was horrible but it was also so long ago. I’m not being insensitive; I’m only repeating what I heard over and over again.  Maybe I just don’t get that part either.  What I do know is New Orleans has somewhat recovered from that devastating hurricane, so perhaps it’s time for the Crescent City to take a cue from Sin City and reinvent itself.  Maybe, just maybe, what happened to Vegas could happen to New Orleans?   Could the Big Easy turn into the Big Cheesy?!

 

What I loved about New Orleans were the many locals who were just down-right nice.  I love their accents and could listen to them all day and all night.  Cab drivers, the doormen at our hotel, waiters, a restaurant owner, our Swamp Tour guide Allen, and even the dread-locked bartender at Bubba Gump’s.  They all bent over backwards to welcome us to their beloved town and couldn’t thank us enough for visiting.  They’ve got it down and they made my visit memorable.

 

I also loved the famous Carousel Bar and Lounge at our hotel, Hotel Monteleone.  The street-front bar actually rotates and the lounge harkens back to days gone by, where the clientele dressed up, acted respectfully, but still had fun…crazy fun!  I loved the hotel itself too and would stay there again in a heartbeat.  (unless of course they keep denying the hair straightener I know I left in our bathroom was not found!  That, is really annoying me!)

 

Two other things that stand out are the Swamp Tour our group took and the dance contest I stumbled upon one day in the French Market.  Boarding the small air boat in pouring rain, we nonetheless had the ride of our lives as we meandered through hanging moss and Cypress trees to catch many glimpses of alligators, raccoons, and even Bald Eagles.  And the dancers; oh the dancers.  Moseying solo through the French Market, I came upon a dance contest…not just any dance contest, but a jam-packed, highly-competitive, down-home, died-in-the-wool, Cajun style jitterbug/swing/stomp dance-a-thon.  It was both entertaining and mesmerizing and I stood there and watched for minutes on end.  I could have stayed all day.

 

These are the things that make New Orleans what it is.  So why, the sleaze?  Why the smut?  It is so unnecessary and distracts from what is truly special about a truly special place.  A place blessed with a treasured past and a place ready for an exciting future that includes not only annual Mardi Gras festivities, but this season’s Super Bowl, Sugar Bowl, and NCAA Final Four.  It’s enough to make any metropolitan area cry with envy.  But envy is not what I left with.

 

As the cab pulled away from our hotel to take us to the airport, I glanced across the street to a spot where every day and every night a rag top band of sometimes talented vagrants played music.  That day it was two men, but I couldn’t help but notice the woman sitting on the ground next to them just listening.  On her lap was a five-or-six-year-old little girl who was clearly exhausted and wanting to be anywhere else but there.  I thought to myself and actually said out loud to our friends in the cab that I wondered if we offered that woman money if she would hand over her little girl.  I would give her a long, hot, relaxing bath then tuck her in a warm bed and let her sleep until she woke up.  A home and a school is what that little girl needs.  Jokingly I said I’d also have her saying “Boomer Sooner” within a week, but in all seriousness, I’m still thinking about that little girl and hoping she’s okay.  I’m not sure how easy that will be for her though on the streets of The Big Easy.  Here’s hoping the saints are watching over her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Welcome Fall!  Autumn officially begins today and what better way to celebrate my favorite season than to talk about fall fashion trends?!  Temperatures cool down (hopefully!), leaves change color and fall, football is in full gear, and nighttime comes earlier.  What’s in and what’s out this autumn?  Here’s the lowdown on some “all the rage” yet tasteful trends to “fall” for:

 

 

IN AND IN A BIG WAY:

 

For the Feet

Ankle strap pointy heels

(Gianvito Rossi)

 

 

Booties

(Rebecca Taylor)

 

 

Pointy toe shoes (flats and pumps)

(Schultz at Bloomingdale’s)

 

 

Velvet loafers and Slipper loafers

(Alexander McQueen)

 

 

Loafer pumps

(Alexander Wang)

 

 

 

For the Body

All things black and gold (shoes and clothing)

 

 

All things jewel tone (shoes, bags and clothing, especially Hunter Green, Burgundy, and Oxblood)

 

 

Trumpet hems

(Jennifer Connelly in Stella McCartney)

 

 

Brocade (perfect for dressing up or pairing with jeans and flats)

 

 

Menswear

 

 

 

Glitter and metallic, especially gold

 

 

Leather

 

 

Equestrian

 

 

Also…

Embellishments (sparkly, oversize, anything goes!)

Military details (embossed and shiny buttons, epaulets, etc.)

Houndstooth

 

 

For Hair, Face and Nails

Braids

Wine red lips

Burgundy nails

Dark blue nails

Edgy French manicures

 

 

Accessories

 

Jeweled statement necklaces

(Kendra Scott)

 

Collar necklaces

Belts

 

 

WHAT’S BACK AND STILL HOT

Peplum

 

Lace

 

 

Colored denim

 

 

 

Riding boots

(Tory Burch)

 

 

Hi/Low hems

 

 

Also…

Patent leather

Printed Pants

Colorblock

 

 

WHAT TO DITCH OR DONATE

Thigh-high boots

Ombre

 

 

 

Have you ever been around someone whose confidence is bordering on arrogance?  I’m not talking cocky, as in athletic prowess, or secure, as in at peace with themself, I’m talking a plain ole know-it-all.

 

I recently enjoyed a spontaneous and fun dinner with my friend Karen during which we discussed the difference between confidence with arrogance.  What is the distinction, and how can we make sure we remain proud of ourselves but not full of ourselves?

 

Webster defines confidence as “a feeling or consciousness of one’s powers or of reliance on one’s circumstances: the quality or state of being certain.”  On the other hand, arrogance is defined as “an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions.”  When looking at them that way, it’s easy to see the difference.  Or is it?

 

In short, arrogant people are what I like to call “braggy.”  If you ask my daughter, she’ll tell you it’s one of three things I detest (the others being sneaky and phony.)  Arrogant people think they are perfect and better than anyone else, they rarely apologize or admit defeat, and they are surprisingly equally disliked and admired.  People look up to them because they are often successful, but once they are faced with any type of adversity, they don’t know how to handle it.  “This can’t be happening to me, I’m perfect!”  And, even though they are sometimes likable they are more often not well-liked because they are…well…arrogant!

 

Perhaps actress Angie Harmon said it best recently in “Good Housekeeping” magazine:  “I tell my kids everybody needs to be respected.  There is no one on this planet who is better than they are and they aren’t better than anybody else.”  This, mind you, from a stunning-former model-successful actress who’s married to a former NFL star.  If anyone could be arrogant, it’s Angie Harmon!  How refreshing to know she’s the furthest thing from it and is raising her kids that way too.

 

I didn’t have a lot of self-confidence growing up, which is one reason I made it my goal to raise a daughter who is self-confident.  Since day 1, my mantra to Kristen has been “Believe in yourself.”  I’m happy to report she is very confident, sometimes (I must admit) over confident, but confident nonetheless.  Every now and then she does need to be reigned in though, and I remind her that humility is as impressive and admired as confidence.

 

Aaahh humility.  How can we, as a society, promote being humble while at the same time encouraging independence and ambition?  Defined as “not proud or haughty,  not arrogant or assertive, unpretentious,”  being humble is not only Biblical, it’s benevolent.  Power and money tend to make even the most humble of people over-confident and ultimately arrogant.  It’s almost inevitable, but as Abraham Lincoln said, “nearly all men can stand adversity but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.”

 

One of my favorite bloggers, Gretchen Rubin of “The Happiness Project,” recently wrote about something similar, something she calls “oppositional conversational style.”  This, Rubin describes, consists of conversations with someone who disagrees with and corrects whatever you say.  You know the type, you say the sky is blue, they’ll say it’s green.  Conversations with these OCS sufferers, who tend to be arrogant by the way, are draining, unpleasant, and annoying.  They don’t listen, they’re always right, and by mid-conversation, you really don’t care!

 

In the end, arrogance is often not the result of over-confidence, but rather a deep-rooted lack thereof.  Know-it-alls often times are hurting inside and make up for that hurt by being overbearing.  They know it and it ultimately catches up with them.  They let others down and even themselves, and according to Oprah Winfrey, “there is no greater disappointment than the disappointment in oneself.”  Ouch.

 

Maybe it, like so many things, just comes down to being happy with yourself.  Confident people don’t have to be everything.  They’re convinced they are where they’re supposed to be and are satisfied with their lot in life.  It doesn’t mean they don’t try to meet goals or achieve great things, they just don’t have the need for constant approval and admiration.  They don’t need to prove anything and they generally aren’t the jealous types.  They are, quite simply, content.  I’m confident if more people were honest, that is what we’d all like to accomplish.  Let’s start today.

 

“The only cure to envy is happiness, but the difficulty is that envy is a terrible obstacle to happiness.”  Bertrand Russell.

 

I remember logging onto my computer that morning and seeing a headline under the “news stories” section asking “Accident or Terrorism?”  It wouldn’t be long before we all knew it was no accident.

 

I remember calling Smitty at his office and him immediately coming home.

 

I remember watching TV news reports with him all day and all night and the horror and helplessness we both felt.

 

I remember the utter fear I felt when the Pentagon was hit.  I thought, “they’re attacking everywhere and Austin could very well be in their sights.”

 

I remember seeing the second plane hit the WorldTradeCenter and feeling sick to my stomach.  When both towers collapsed onto themselves, I remember actually crying.

 

I remember all the people in New York City talking to TV cameras and posting photos of their loved ones, begging someone to tell them they were okay.

 

I remember hearing the company name “Cantor-Fitzgerald” again and again.  I had never heard of it before, but now 11 years later, I still remember it.

 

I remember being amazed that even ESPN was covering only the horrific events unfolding.

 

I remember Kristen getting off the bus that afternoon and I asked her if she’d heard anything in school.  She said something about “bad guys in New York.”

 

I remember President Bush standing with volunteers and blaring into that bull-horn.

 

I remember firefighters draping that giant flag on the Pentagon.

 

I remember being so very grateful that Smitty was not traveling that week.

 

I remember hearing the Alan Jackson song for the first time.

 

I remember changing my Fall-themed flag outside my house to a generic stars and stripes one.  It wasn’t the American flag, but it was close enough.

 

I remember buying a newspaper on 9/12 at a gas station not really near my home.  I’m not sure why I went there to buy it, but to this day, every time I pass it I think of 9/11.

 

I distinctly remember certain photo images:  the firefighter in the WTC stairwell, the skeleton frame of the WTC standing among the ruins, people dashing into buildings as the towers fell, filling Manhattan with a cloud of dust.

 

I remember the video of Andy Card whispering in President Bush’s ear while he read to Florida school children.

 

I remember embassies around the world creating memorials and tributes on our behalf.

 

When I think back to September 11, 2001 I also think of the fireman I had in my house all day.  He did contracting on the side and had been scheduled to replace my kitchen backsplash that day.  All day I kept telling him to go home to his family but he insisted he wanted to stay, that doing the work gave him something to do amidst all the dismay.  I will never, ever forget what he said when the second tower fell.  He looked at the TV and solemnly said, “A lot of firemen just died.”  How prophetic that I shared the awfulness of that fateful day with a fireman and that firefighters ended up being the true heroes of the day. For many years I called him every September 11 just to see how he was.

 

How are we today as a country?  We are far from the united front we demonstrated following the attacks and are instead a fractured society that has somehow forgotten what happened that day and how we felt.  How exactly we felt.  I feel it every time I watch a “Friends” rerun and see a skyline shot that includes the TwinTowers.  I have a Barbie book in my classroom that I keep safe and out of three-year-old hands because the “Business Barbie” page includes a photo of the WorldTradeCenter.

 

Where you were on 9/11/01?  Have the 11 years that have passed changed your opinion of things?  Why?  How?  My hope is that all of you will take a moment today to remember your thoughts of that day and the days that followed.  Wouldn’t it be nice to be truly the UNITED States again?   Mostly, let’s all consider and respect the nearly 3,000 innocent people who lost their lives and the cherished family members they left behind.  It’s all something we should never, ever forget.

 

 

 

“God, please give me the courage and strength to be full of the spirit of joy and hope.  Help me put emphasis on the positive.  Give me the grace to interpret all of reality through the basic attitudes of trust and hope.”