New kid on the block. No one wants to be THAT person. But, it’s what I am right now. I’m the new neighbor. The new girl. The new kid. And, I don’t like it.
Don’t get me wrong, we are all moved in our new home and I’m loving it. I also love the neighborhood and have surprised even myself in how quickly I feel at home. As many of you know, I initially dug in my heels at the beginning of this whole move idea, partially looking forward to it and partially asking “why?” But, we’re here and I have no regrets. As they say, a home is where you make it.
But as pleased as I am with our home and our move, I’m still the new kid on the block. This is something I’m struggling with. I’m not a “go out and meet everyone you can” kinda gal and I detest small talk and big groups. I’m more of a small, intimate group girl and am very happy with the friends I have. But, make new friends I must so rather than host a pity party or refuse to embrace it all, I’ve instead jumped in and gone to everything I possibly can. Adios comfort zone.
Book club? I’ve joined and been twice.
Ladies Spa Day? Oh yeah, you know I was at that one.
Golf? I’ve yet to actually go out on ladies play day, but I will.
Tennis? Racquets are currently being restrung and I’ve been invited to join a team.
Bible Study? Am bummed they meet on a day I work, but will join up when I can.
So yes, I’ve pushed myself to giddy up for almost everything I see posted. It’s been a bit stressful and kinda caught up with me last night for Ladies Game Night.
I’d RSVP’d weeks ago, but thanks to a busy week and horrible allergies keeping me up at night, I just wasn’t feeling it. Plus, the night before I had gone to Book Club so I was sporting a “social box checked” attitude. “But it’s two different groups Carla. Don’t you want to make friends?” the little voice in my head asked. Go away, go away! I just want to take a bath, read my book, take some allergy meds, and crawl in bed.
Then my phone rang. It was my daughter. My voice of reason.
I told her my dilemma and she didn’t hesitate to tell me that making new friends is “like a job and right now it’s your job!” Ouch. This from the girl who has solid and loyal long-time friends and has had no problem making new ones as she moved to both Scottsdale and Dallas after graduating. Guess I should listen to her on this one. Role reversal in full affect.
“You can only grow if you’re willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.”
Feeling comfortable with the uncomfortable. That’s my new mantra so out I went to Ladies Game Night and boy did I have fun! It was a smaller group and there were a few who I’d already met. Yay! I also met several new women I really liked and when I mentioned to one that I’m thinking of getting back into tennis, she and another woman immediately welcomed me to join their team. Double yay!
It’s important to have friends in your life. Girl friends. As much as we love our husbands, dogs, coworkers and the like, girlfriends are vital in a woman’s life. Not all of them will be your BFFs, but many will leave a mark and have an impact. Never settle but always be open. Treasure the old but relish the new. It’s all a balance that may not be easy but worth the effort.
So lessons learned. Get your butt out there Carla. Yes it can be exhausting but it can also be rewarding. Here’s looking at you new kid.