We’ve collectively waited for this day for nearly a year, but now that it’s here, does anyone else feel a little meh about it? I know I do. The celebrations were muted and the uncertainty remains. It’s as though we’ve anticipated it for so long and now that it’s arrived, things are pretty much the same as they were yesterday…and in October…and in July…and back in March. Yes, there’s hope with the vaccines, but we shall wait to see.
Maybe for me it’s because 2021 didn’t start off on the right foot…literally. The annual Polar Plunge that I l’ve looked forward to for many years running was cancelled. Of all the years we needed it! But, I’m vowing to jump into the new year feet first anyway and with a lot of hope and a little optimism.
2020 was rough. To say the least. But it was also a good year for many. Friends of mine welcomed a beautiful baby boy into their lives after many years of fertility struggles. Weddings happened, albeit edited ones. And if you’re reading this, you survived a year thousands did not. So, 2020 will be a “good” year for so many and for that, I am grateful.
But here we sit, all hoping this year is infinitely better than its predecessor. But as I mentioned above, not much is different today. We’re still on lock down, struggling businesses are still closed, the virus is still out there, and sadly, a year that began with the chorus “we are all in this together” ended with still so much hate and animosity permeating our beloved country. I’m also exceedingly troubled by the direction so many people chose for our country. It’s something I will never, ever understand. So, where does that leave us? Are we hopeful? Pessimistic? Relieved? What do we really and truly want starting today?
Oddly enough, that very question was asked of my amazing yoga instructor Nicki at @InnerEssenceYoga and her response is one we can all embrace:
In other words, it’s on us people. We feed the flames, we feed the monsters, and we ultimately feed our souls. Let’s all try to focus on not only unity but what’s at stake if we don’t. Namaste!
There’s no denying 2020 has been a tumultuous year but in the midst of all the chaos, I’m pretty sure we each can come up with some positives and things we can appreciate. The little things. Maybe it was a book you read that you loved or the discovery of a new TV show that you enjoyed watching. Perhaps you connected with your stay-at-home family on levels you never had. Maybe it was making new friends in your circle that was increasingly smaller or a new puppy. Courtney Carver of “Be More with Less” suggests creating a “Little Things Journal” to keep track of all of these soft nuances in our days that bring us joy and magic.
Carver takes this a bit further by reminding us we need to let go…let go of 2020 as much as we can and let go of the things that we just don’t need anymore. These might include guilt; the guilt you have from not doing things, what you didn’t get done, or how you did things last year as well as the guilt of what you chose to help you feel better. If baking bread or shopping online made you happy during quarantine, it’s okay. Give yourself grace that you might have added a few pounds since last spring and kindly remind yourself that you can take those pounds off. Or not. Let go of guilt.
Let go of old goals and expectations and thoughts and beliefs that just don’t fit you anymore. Maybe you didn’t achieve your goals but remember, many of them might have be made back in January and things changed dramatically after. You are not the same person this January that you were last January or even last year as a whole. Things don’t always go our way and we will all fail, but don’t allow your failures to define you. Cut your goal-oriented self some slack and feel the freedom of starting over. At the same time, let go of expectations of others.
Let go also of what other people think or say about you. Live your best life and let them live theirs. Let go of any resentment, pain, or envy and replace them with forgiveness and understanding. We all changed in 2020 and none of us are obligated to be the same people we were even one year ago. Embrace the new you and stop caring about what others think of you. Their circus and monkeys are not yours to tend to and vice versa.
Let go of your mistakes. Acknowledge them and learn from them, but remind yourself of the successes you experienced and progress you made in 2020. Steer you brain train off the negative 2020 track and take stock in what you accomplished and the little things that made you smile. Make peace with 2020 and make peace with yourself.
Now it’s time to not see obstacles anymore, but opportunities instead. Start today by embracing you and giving yourself more credit. Look out for yourself and stick up for yourself. Self-care is not selfish and can indeed be done while caring for those around you. In fact, the more you love yourself the more you can give and share love with others. When you think better of yourself you live a better life, despite any obstacles or adversity.
Make happiness a priority and continue doing anything you enjoyed in 2020. Maybe it’s a new hobby or something you learned that brought you joy. This year, put your heart and soul into it in meaningful but healthy ways and see where it can take you emotionally.
Keep paying attention to the right people in 2021 and show them love and respect. If 2020 taught us anything, it’s how important some of the people in our lives are. We learned who we value, who we missed, and who we can count on.
Find the balance. Juggling working from home, homeschooling, and trying to stay healthy and informed is exhausting. Not much of that will change in the immediate future so work hard but rest, stay informed but unplug. The news cycle is toxic right now. Walk away from it.
Consider and reflect on your 2020 wins. Maybe you walked more and got more physically healthy. Maybe you organized and simplified. Maybe you learned all kinds of new things while homeschooling your kids. If you look and seek, you will find achievements you may not have been paying attention to.
Think beyond the pandemic and the politics and ask yourself what made 2020 memorable. Maybe it was someone you connected with for the first time or a milestone date. I had both. I turned 60 in 2020 and I made wonderful new friends when I took up tennis again and had the time to play more golf. When I look back on 2020 I also find memorable the time our daughter “got” to spend at home with us, reading more, slowing down, staying healthy, discovering a new priest and his fabulous Sunday sermons online, and that I really don’t need manis and pedis and not having to go to the appointments was actually freeing. I also learned just how big an introvert I am, and coupled with the fact the I’m also an empty nester, I actually didn’t mind and sometimes actually enjoyed the #stayhome mandate. But that’s just me.
So as we all dive into 2021, ask yourself what’s one thing you learned in 2020? What’s one hard thing you did and triumphed over? What is your biggest 2020 regret? What were some of 2020’s positive experiences? And finally, what are you grateful for? Be honest and then jump feet first into this new year and let go of the things you can’t control and make the positive changes you can. It’s time to leave behind what you don’t need and the many bitter disappointments we encountered. It’s time to take a leap of faith.
Beyond Words 