Beyond Words

I’ve been dropped. Like a hot potato. Or a bad habit. By my dog.

 

Yep, my trusted sidekick Boomer has left me for another. My husband.

 

You see, for years Boomer was our only dog. She was the spoiled Queen B (for Boomer!) and pretty much ruled the roost. Then our daughter got a Beagle who visited every now and then. Boomer put up with Barry because Barry came and went and didn’t stay forever.

 

Unfortunately for Boomer, her owners fell in love with Barry and decided they wanted a Beagle of their own. Enter Nikki, the rescued Beagle we brought home last December. Unlike Barry, this Beagle doesn’t go away.

 

At this point Boomer was still “my” dog and Nikki was pretty much my husband’s. Two people, two dogs, all happy.

 

 

Happiest it seems when the two dogs are running free on our neighborhood golf course early in the morning or late in the evening when the golfers are gone but the deer and rabbits aren’t. Yep, my husband takes them nearly every day to do this and they love it! It’s made him their favorite and now I’m on the back burner. No amount of belly rubs, treats, or walks on a leash can compare to FREEDOM!!!

 

To make matters worse, Barry is back with us and looks to be indefinitely. It’s no big deal as we love having him around, but now we have a pack. A pack that sticks together. A pack that follows “Dog King,” as my husband likes to call himself, everywhere. Where he sits, they sit. Where he sleeps, they sleep. Just hearing the garage door open puts them in a full run to the door; Barry howling her Beagle howl all the way. Same thing in the morning. “You up???” “You ready to go???” You see, the pack thinks at any minute he could load them in the car and each one has major FOMO. They, even my beloved Boomer, won’t risk being with me in my office as I write this…or anywhere with just me…because if she is, she might miss out on the freedom ride.

 

She used to sit behind my back on my desk chair but now only comes in my office if Barry and/or Nikki come too. She’s definitely Alpha Dog though, as any good Jack Russell is, and our little pack of pooches have their roles. Boomer is the boss of the bunch, Barry is the fun youngster, and Nikki is the wise old veteran. They even have nicknames. Boomer is “OG” for original gangsta, Barry is “OB” cuz he’s the original Beagle, and Nikki is “LB” because she’s a tad stocky. OG, OB, and LB. I couldn’t love them more.

 

It doesn’t help that Dog King is forever giving his three followers “treats.” I literally cannot buy enough of them. Yet another reason they follow his every step.

 

Funny thing is, I’ve always been the dog person. He’s always liked our dogs but never to this extent. I secretly love it though, but please don’t tell any of them this!

 

It’s a fun dynamic even though Boomer’s dissing of me breaks my heart. It also reminds me that dogs are pack animals at heart and stick together.

 

 

I saw a variation of this months ago online regarding wolves. If you see a line of wolves in the wild, the three wolves leading the group aren’t the leaders; they are generally old and sick and have earned the front to set the pace. If younger wolves did so, these older ones would be left behind. By having them upfront, the group sticks together.

 

The next five in the line are the strongest of the bunch and their job is to protect the pack from any attack. The five behind them are also strong and theirjob is to protect the back of the pack.

 

And that last little wolf? The last one is the leader! He ensures that no one is left behind, keeps the pack united, and keeps all members on the same path. He’s also always ready to do anything it takes to protect the pack. You could say he’s the “bodyguard” of all.

 

“The strength of the pack is the wolf. The strength of the wolf is the pack.”

The Jungle Book

 

I remember learning similar things about sled dogs when I visited a musher camp in Alaska. Surprisingly, the hardest working aren’t the leads, but rather the two at the end of the tug line.

 

So, if our dogs were wolves, my guess is Nikki would be the lead, Barry would be in the middle, and Boomer would be the last one. Hopefully thinking of me the whole time.

 

 

So they say about an exercise routine or training program but have you thought about joining a fitness class lately or enrolling in a training program? Did you recently join a gym? Decided to get healthy? Breathed? Well, if you said “yes” to any of those you’ve probably discovered there are soooo many choices, many of which may sound foreign to you.

 

As they say in the south, “usta could” sign up for a fitness class and know what you’re signing up for. These days however, it’s like trying to buy toothpaste. Whitening? Tartar eliminator? Sensitive gums? HELP!!!!

 

Well, that’s me. I’m here to help. Help decipher all those classes you’ve heard about. Gone are the days of just aerobics and treadmills, enter the days of spin, barre, essentrics, and so much more.

 

 

Just today I saw a Facebook sponsored post on “Body Groove,” a four minute dance workout that promises to work wonders in just four minutes a day! I clicked on the link and watched it for a bit and will say it looked fun, but I don’t think it’s for me. For one, videos don’t work for me. I need to be accountable to someone. But don’t take my word for it on this one. Check it out to see if it sounds interesting to you.

 

What is for me is yoga and a class I’ve been doing in my neighborhood since we moved almost a year ago. It’s called Essentric Stretch, but come to find out I didn’t really know what it was until our awesome instructor Bonnie told us she had new business cards last week. On them was the title “Essentrics.” What? I thought all this time it “Eccentric Stretch,” as is an unconventional way of stretching. I was way off.

 

Essentrics

The Essentrics Technique is a full-body workout based on the theories of Miranda Esmonde-White. The completely original exercise lengthens and strengthens every muscle in your body and draws on the flowing movements of tai chi, the strengthening theories behind ballet, and the healing principles of physiotherapy. It increases flexibility, is considered an age-defying workout (I’m in!), and tones the body by dynamically combining strethening and stretching. It’s also low impact. Miranda is one of America’s greatest advocates on healthy aging and following her career as a professional ballerina, she developed Essentrics in 1997. Her show has been airing on PBS since 1999 and she’s served as a trainer to professional and Olympic athletes and celebrities. Who knew?!

 

Yoga

I also do Yoga and I love it. And guess what? You can too. As a matter of fact, almost anyone can do yoga. Promise! I’ve been doing it for several years now but once we moved, I had to find a new class as our new neighborhood does not offer it. (Grrrrr!!!!) Our previous neighborhood had wonderful yoga offerings and even though I’d never done it,  I just showed up one day and fell in love. Yoga is low impact and it’s beneficial in so many ways. It’s a centuries old Eastern practice steeped in religion but for me it’s just a way to help my body. And my mind. I thought I knew what I wanted as I searched for a new class, but I quickly discovered there are many different kinds of yoga.

 

In my quest, I came to the conclusion that I’m a Hatha or Vinyasa yoga girl. Hatha classes are generally gentle beginner classes that teach you the basic poses of yoga. Instructors help you with modifications, breathing techniques, and explain why the poses are what they are. Vinyasa could be considered intermediate yoga and classes often have “flow” in the title. It is for those who aren’t beginners but aren’t ready to do a “tree” just for fun. In a Vinyasa class, you will shift positions in one fluid motion. For example, you might start with Warrior 1, go to Warrior 2, then Triangle, then Side Angle. And then start again.

 

Then there’s hot yoga. Great for advanced students and for tight muscles, the temperature is cranked up over 100 degrees and postures are held for up to one minute. Classes can be grueling but many swear by them.

 

If you see an Ashtanga or “power” yoga class offered, unless you have practiced yoga for a while or do cardio and strength training regularly, walk away. This variety is the most physically demanding and requires you to not so much “flow” from pose to pose, but jump quickly in order to raise your heart rate.

 

Whatever level you choose, think of yoga as a way to release the mind while improving breathing techniques, holding poses in order to build strength and balance, reduce stress, and renew energy. On days when I do an evening yoga class, I find I sleep much better.

 

Barre

Barre classes are all the rage now. Most barre-based classes use a combination of postures inspired by ballet, yoga, and Pilates and incorporate a ballet-style barre for balance. Exercises generally focus on isometric strength training and holding your body still while you contract a specific set of muscles along with high reps of small range-of-motion movements like plies. Lots of plies! Some classes also incorporate light hand-held weights and mats for targeted core work. I’ve never done a barre class, but I’ve heard they are hard but produce great results.

 

 

Pilates

I’ve forever thought Pilates was created for and by dancers, but it was actually developed in the early 20th century by Joseph Pilates and consists of controlled movements that improve flexibility, build strength, and develop control and endurance. It puts emphasis on alignment, breathing, developing a strong core core, and improving coordination and balance. Exercises are traditionally done in a specific order, one right after another, and may incorporate Pilates-specific equipment designed to help accelerate the process of stretching, strengthening, body alignment, stretching, strengthening, body alignment, and increased core strength. All Pilates work is done around the six original principles of concentration, control, center, flow, precision, and breathing. It’s demanding but not the kind of workout where you work up a sweat. (Hello lunch break class!) It has a strong mind/body connection and might be just what you’re looking for if you want to strengthen your abdomen and pelvis, maintain good posture, strengthen and tone, and for increasing your flexibility.  Surprisingly, it’s often incorporated into other classes such as my stretch class and you’ll often find combo “yogalates” classes.

 

I did discover there is a dance tie-in though. Apparently dancers often practice Pilates as the method doesn’t build bulky muscles, which is something they try to avoid for the most part. Instead, elite dancers seek holistic strength of their entire body as daily dancing takes a toll on the body. Pilates helps them rectify the imbalances they tend to create in the studio and give them the space they need outside of the studio and outside of class to re-balance, release, and re-connect.

 

Spin

My daughter works with a personal trainer and visited a spin class and in a word, she said it was tough. You’ve probably heard about it and seen commercials for Soul Cycle and other programs, but what exactly are they all about? Spinning is a high-intensity cardio class consisting of cycling on stationery bikes. Classes are loud and energetic thanks to mic’d up class leaders and upbeat playlists. Participants are dripping in sweat, experience burning legs, and saddle soreness is not uncommon. Similar to treadmills and stationary bikes found in gyms, you can control speed and resistance on your cycle and some classes mix in upper body workouts, resistant bands, or a themed adventure. One idea I came across that might interest me at some point, are spin classes in the water! Still, even though Lady Gaga and Kelly Ripa tout spinning as the bomb, in my opinion, beginners need not apply.

 

 

 

Zumba

Zumba is dance fitness aerobic program inspired by Latin American dance and created by Colombian dancer and choreographer Alberto Perez. Proponents say it is a fun workout that involves aerobic dance and movements performed to energetic music. The choreography incorporates hip-hop, samba, salsa, merengue, and mambo as well as squats and lunges. Surprisingly, the name “Zumba” means nothing and was chosen arbitrarily by Perez and the program consists of nine different types of classes, all with different goals.

 

 

 

CrossFit

CrossFit is a branded fitness regimen created by Greg Glassman that is both an exercise philosophy and competitive fitness sport. The strength and conditioning program consists of a mix of aerobic exercise, calisthenics, and Olympic weightlifting. People who do it swear it’s the fastest way to get fit but its military-style mix of squats, weights, barbells, and sprints is not for the weak. Hour-long classes at affiliated gyms, or “boxes,” typically include a warm-up, a skill development segment, the high-intensity “workout of the day,” and a period of individual or group stretching. Competition and individual progress on the WODs are common.

 

 

Orange Theory

You’ve recently seen them pop up in strip centers everywhere, but they’re not juice places or paint stores. They are basically one hour group personal training inside orange-glow filled rooms where you are pushed to get your body in the “orange zone.” The program was developed around a scientific approach called EPOC or post exercise oxygen consumption. Using this method, heart rates are monitored to keep the rate in a zone that is designed to continue burning calories after the high intensity interval training is over. This so called “after burn” keeps heart rates in a target zone that spikes metabolism and increases energy. Conducted in small studios rather large gyms, Orange Theory workouts are also designed to build camaraderie and cultivate a team environment. Orange Theory is a tough workout and for those serious about their fitness routine.

 

Tracy Anderson Method

I’m including Anderson because her results are amazing. Think Gwyneth Paltrow and JLo. And because…have you seen Tracy’s body?! But don’t be fooled by the low impact design of the Method. Anderson’s revolutionary workouts are tough stuff and far from easy. I ordered her Metamorphosis DVDs, which are for those not near a TA studio, and didn’t hate them, but like I mentioned before, I need a class and an instructor I’m accountable to. If Ms. Anderson wants to visit my home three times a week, I’m in!

 

Anderson’s revolutionary method is intended to give anyone long, lean muscles and “true body happiness.” She knows this, because she’s done it herself. After moving to New York City on a dance scholarship when she was 18, Tracy gained a ghastly 35 pounds that she couldn’t shake from her 5’ frame despite over-exercising and under-eating. She put her dance dreams on hold and took note of the rehab program of her pro basketball player husband who was suffering from back problems. In it, a doctor eased the strain on large muscle groups by strengthening small, accessory muscles. The concept resonated deeply with Tracy, and after years of research, self-testing, and refinement, Tracy completely transformed her own body. Over five years, she created custom workouts that engage not the big muscles we think of, but smaller ones using small, quick movements. Her results didn’t lie then and they don’t lie now. If you don’t believe me, check her out.

 

 

Kickboxing

Kickboxing is a full-body workout that includes knee strikes, kicks, and punches. It’s high-energy but fun training that challenges the beginner and elite athlete alike and helps build stamina and endurance, improve coordination and flexibility, burn calories and blast fat, increase self-confidence, and build lean muscle. It also teaches discipline. There’s no area of your body kickboxing won’t tone and tighten, and as an added bonus, you also learn self-defense!

 

Kickboxing is considered part of Mixed Martial Arts, better known as MMA, which has seen a substantial increase in interest over the past few years, thanks in part, to Ronda Rousey and Anderson “The Spider” Silva.

 

 

Martial Arts

Which brings us to martial arts. There are many kinds, but here are descriptions of some of the more popular types:

 

Aikido. A gentler self-defense style that emphasizes mental acuity, breathing, and timing. It focuses on finding the body’s spiritual center and physical center of gravity.

 

Judo teaches the principle of using your opponent’s strength against him. It’s highly physical and a tough workout.

 

Karate is actually a broad term that covers hundreds of styles using highly rehearsed strikes and blows using both your hands and your feet.

 

Tae Kwon Do combines the art of hand and foot fighting and includes the popular breaking of boards and sparring with opponents.

 

Tai Chi It incorporates a series of silent, fluid, seamless, and slow motion movements to improve strentcth and balance. It is considered the national exercise in China.

 

Finally, here is just a brief description of some additional fitness terms you may often hear often but are not quite sure what they are or how to do them:

 

Planks

A plank is an isometric core strength exercise that involves maintaining a position similar to a push-up for the maximum possible time. You can also do perform one balancing on your elbows instead of your palms. Holding one is tough, but research shows that the best way to strengthen your core is via a simple plank because it builds isometric strength to help sculpt your waistline and improve your posture. When doing a plank, you use virtually every muscle in your body, so a simple hold is improving your back, arms, shoulders, glutes, and hamstrings. Start by holding maybe 30 seconds and continue to build up. You’ll be amazed at how quickly your stamina improves.

 

 

Kettlebells

A kettlebell is a cast iron cast-iron cast steel weight that resembles a cannonball with a handle. They are used to perform ballistic exercises ballistic exercises that combine cardiovascular, strength, and flexibility training and, if done properly, engage the whole body. “Done properly” being paramount. Holistic in their nature, kettlebell exercises often consist of large amounts of swinging movements in addition to dead lifts. They should be used with caution and only in the presence of a professional trainer. The improper use of a kettlebell can damage backs, wrists, and hamstrings.

 

 

 

Burpees

Created by New York Physiologist Royal H. Burpee in the 1930’s (yes, the thirties!) to assess the fitness of everyday people, the four-count movement only later would it evolve into the six-count beast we know today.  The full body exercise will condition your entire body, develop strength, increase power, and improve anaerobic endurance. a full body exercise used in strength training and as an aerobic exercise. The basic “four-count burpee” is done in multiple hi-rep sets and consists of:

1. Squat down and place both hands on the floor in front of you.
2. Jump feet back into plank position
3. Jump feet forward.
4. Return to standing.

 

 

Interval Training

Is your goal to burn more calories? Are you pressed for time to exercise? Then maybe you should consider interval training. Once the domain of elite athletes, interval training has become a powerful tool for the average exerciser, like me!

When I worked with a personal trainer a few years ago, she always had me do interval training. This mostly consisted of fast pedaling on a stationary bike followed by bursts of harder and faster pedaling. That’s basically interval training in a nutshell: simply alternating bursts of intense activity with intervals of lighter activity. Another example would be while out walking, mix in a few bursts of sprinting or jogging. It’s easy to do and you’ll burn more calories. Best thing about it? There are no hard and fast rules or do’s and don’ts. Simply figure out your stamina and go from there.

 

 

All of this doesn’t include traditional programs like aerobics and I could include popular “at home” programs like P90X (lauded by Pink and Sheryl Crow), and Insanity, but I’m exhausted just thinking about all of it!

 

One long-time popular option I will briefly address is water-aerobics. While similar to aerobics, water aerobics differs in that it adds the components of resistance training and buoyancy. Although heart rates do not increase as much as in land-based aerobics, the heart is working just as hard and underwater exercise actually pumps more blood to the heart. In fact, exercising in the water is not only aerobic; it also builds strength but is easy on joints and muscles. It’s a great aerobic option for those physically unable to do regular aerobic workouts.

 

In researching this topic, I read something interesting. It recommends workouts be done at 4 p.m., when you have a natural dip in your metabolism. After any workout, it’s important to refuel. Protein is best and if you want to increase your metabolism, build lean muscle, and lose inches, eat a healthy meal within 45 minutes of your workout.

 

In all honesty, I envy those who are physically fit and actually enjoy exercising. I don’t and really never have. At this point in my life my goal is to be healthy and not be stiff. I don’t want to be one of those “seniors” who has trouble getting up and down or just getting around. So for now, I’ll stick with my walks, my yoga, and my stretch class. They stretch me to my limits and I actually enjoy them. That, my friends, is the first step to physical fitness. After that, just get moving.

 

 

 

 

Can we talk? Can we talk about Melania Trump and how stunning she is? Here’s where I wait for all the haters to stop reading.

 

Okay, for all those of you who are mature enough to call a spade a spade or put away your bitterness, let’s talk.

 

Truth be told, there’s not a stable or honest person out there who can’t agree that our new First Lady killed it on Inauguration Day and on so many other occasions.

 

 

This being the case, it should come as no surprise that Melania Trump knocked it out of the ballpark on her first official international tour with her husband, President Trump.

 

So why, are we not seeing her on popular fashion blogs and magazine covers. Because, hate trumps respect.

 

Haters gonna hate.

 

Fashionistas used to love both her and Ivanka and even put them on countless covers.

 

But not no mo. Why? November.

 

Sad to say we saw more of Bella and Kendall’s Cannes Film Festival fashion than our First Lady’s stunners in Saudi, Israel, and Europe. And while I have you, can someone please remind me what films Bella and Kendall were in? We also saw a lot of the Pippa and Kate show for Pippa’s wedding. But hey, they’re real life royalty.

 

I will admit both Bella and Kendall are gorgeous and on most days I do admire their sense of style. But then again, they are models. They have one job and it’s to look fab.

 

A former model herself, Melania puts the “F” in fab and is not only gorgeous but smart. She speaks five languages (English, French, Italian, German, and her native Serbo-Croatian) and is her own woman, choosing to live in New York until son Brandon’s school is out rather than uprooting her son and following her husband to D.C.

 

She’s also an immigrant and the first naturalized citizen to become First Lady. Melania was born in Slovenia, which was then communist Yugoslavia, and earned her American citizenship in 2006.

 

Prior to Melania holding the FLOTUS title, all we heard for the past eight years was how gorgeous and stylish Michelle Obama was as First Lady. The flared skirts, the kitten heels, the arms. Politics aside, I have to admit I just didn’t see it. Yes, some of her choices were lovely but I personally do not put her right in the “gorgeous” category and I’ll call those flared skirts with an A-line, those kitten heels with stiletto pumps, and those arms with…okay checkmate. But for the overall winner, Melania trumps all. In a word, she is simply stunning.

 

For proof of this, I present “Melania’s Foreign Stage Debut.”

 

Melania started her trip in an orange leather Herve Pierre skirt, cream Max Mara knit sweater, and nude stilettos as she boarded Marine One that had everyone saying “wow!” Pierre also designed the lovely white gown she wore to Inaugural balls this past January.

 

     

 

In Saudi Arabia, she caused quite a stir by not wearing a headscarf but I applaud her and am on board with saying had she worn one, haters would have likely criticized her for not standing up for women’s rights.

 

Arriving in Saudi, our First Lady was not only stylish but respectful in a stunning black Stella McCartney jumpsuit with gold detailing on its high neck and paired it with a striking gold Saint Laurent belt and conservative black pumps.

 

 

Later in Saudi she donned a traditionally-bent Ralph Lauren khaki shirt-dress that she accessorized with a chunky brown belt with thick white stitching. The 47-year-old completed the sleek look with zebra-patterned Manolo Blahnik pumps that featured a high stiletto heel.

 

   

 

For the Arab-Islamic-American Summit, Melania made a business-chic transformation into a tailored white Dolce & Gabbana pantsuit and black blouse with a ladylike bow detail. Black Manolo Bahnik pumps completed the look.

 

 

 

Finally, her raspberry Reem Acra floor length cape-style gown was simply stunning for an evening dinner at Murabba Palace. The color. The cape. The matching shoes and diamond collar. Simple makeup and flowing hair. Perfection in pink.

 

 

On to Israel, where our First Lady was poised and polished in white.

 

The notched hem and collar Karl Lagerfeld jacket and skirt she wore in a photo opp was stylish and sleek and the Michael Kors skirt suit with yet another wide belt that she wore to pay respects at the Wailing Wall was paired with the red and white version of her previously worn zebra print Manolo pumps. Do I sense some signature looks here? Hey, if Kate Middleton can wear the same shoes over and over, Melania can too!

 

    

 

The white hot fashion continued with a sleeveless dress with bands of white and off white made by Serbian-born Roksanda, which the First Lady paired with those same nude pumps to attend a moving memorial service. Roksanda also designed the striking white dress with poof sleeves that Melania wore to the Republican National Convention.

 

Then, it was off to Europe, a place known for all things fashionable and stylish. The well-traveled Melania however, was more than up for the challenge.

 

In Italy, she was both reverent and refined yet oh-so chic.

 

From the moment she landed, donning a custom-made Dolce & Gabbana black coatdress with gold brocade details on the collar and sleeves to the black A-line stunner and loose chignon in her hair upon leaving Italy, Melania was on point and a big hit.

 

  

 

In between, she was elegant in white as she posed with U.S. Army members who she graciously thanked on Instagram for scuttling her and her staff around and showed her playful side as she took selfies in a Rome children’s hospital.

 

               

 

Perhaps her moment though, was the black lace dress, matching lace pumps, and veil she wore to meet Pope Francis. Yes, she covered her head at the Vatican but not in Saudi, and for good reason. Melania is the first practicing Catholic First Lady since Jackie Kennedy, but she is not a practicing Muslim and was “allowed” to not cover her head during her visit to the monarchy. She respects the strict dress codes forced upon Saudi women and was thoughtful in her clothing choices while there, but she also refuses to compromise her own beliefs and pretend to be something she’s not.

   

 

Mrs. Trump kept it toned down when she arrived in Brussels in a conservative Michael Kors blue and white gingham belted coat and matching shoes, proving she’s both in style and on trend. She stayed on trend in a blush suit made by Belgian designer Maison Ullens that included her signature wide belt and striped pumps.

 

 

Lauded in Saudi for her “classy and conservative choices,” Melania spiced it up a bit in Europe. The burst of color D&G coat she wore in Sicily was anything but boring, while the shimmery silver dress with matching D&G pumps she sparkled in for an evening concert with G7 leaders was a true “I have arrived” statement.

 

  

 

She wasn’t perfect though. I didn’t much care for either the dress or shoes she chose when meeting NATO wives but hey, no one is perfect right?

 

 

Melania Trump is basically a quiet and reserved woman who has been thrusted upon the world stage in a big way. But she’s also very smart and worldly. She knows how society works, how the media operates, and how to make the right impression. I feel confident in saying Melania not only proved she can hold her own but that for the next four years (maybe eight), she should also own the fashion pages. Can I get a high five?

 

 

 

This morning Father Larry said something in his gospel that caught my attention. He mentioned that being a true Christian is probably the hardest life to live. I immediately thought, “No way! Being forced to wear a burka or not being able to drive without my husband’s permission would be way harder than being a Christian!” I also thought about all the polytheistic religions in the world that worship more than one god such as Hinduism and Buddhism, and how difficult it would be for me to believe in more than one god.

 

But then, as he always does, Father Larry made it all very clear. He went on to explain that the rules of a Christian life often go against today’s way of life. He then suggested we look at the Seven Deadly Sins if we didn’t believe him. Yep, he had me at oh no.

 

Let’s refresh our memories of those seven sins: lust, greed, gluttony, envy, anger, pride, and sloth. So, if we are to live a true Christian life and follow Christ’s lead, or just be a good person in general really, we are to avoid all of those? Yes, Father Larry, that is quite a challenge. If you don’t agree, you are either living in denial or simply don’t believe.

 

Most of the seven are fairly self-explanatory, but what about gluttony and sloth? At first thought gluttony conjures up images of large tables of food and people eating to excess. Sloth? I think of that lazy zoo animal. Both, ironically, are somewhat accurate depictions of the sins. Gluttony is basically over-consuming beyond what you really need, food or otherwise, and sloth is not using your talents for good and just being flat out lazy. Yikes. I can be such a sloth!

 

But moving on, who doesn’t let their anger out, show their self-pride, and get a little too comfy sitting on that couch? Well, probably all of us. Most likely we’ve all also been envious, greedy, and either drank or shopped excessively, right?

 

And for all my Protestant friends who are pulling out their bibles as they read this, no, there isn’t a comprehensive list of the Seven Deadly Sins in the bible, but if you check out both Proverbs 6:16-19 and Galatians 5:19-21 the list of “sins to guard against” and that “I forewarn you about” are eerily similar.

 

 

 

What is in the bible is the Golden Rule: do unto others as you would want others to do unto you.

 

So there you have it. Written out. Plain and simple. Clear and concise. Or maybe not.

 

Father Larry joked about how many of us would probably prefer the unwavering rules in the Old Testament over the more eloquent writings of the New Testament in which Jesus often talks in parables. In the Old Testament we of course have only The 10 Commandments:

 

 

Pretty cut and dry, right? Catholics, Protestants, and Judaism all follow these rules handed down to Moses from God and when the great prophet addressed the Israelites before they entered the land of Canaan, he urged them to keep all the commands and to “Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road.”

 

Talking the talk and walking the walk they command can sometimes be challenging and avoiding those seven sins is indeed a hard burden. But, a rewarding one in the end. So what can we do? Maybe turn to 1 Thessalonians 5:14 where it says to “scatter joy!” I love this!

 

 

“Comfort those who are scared and help those who are weak. Be patient with everyone.

Always be joyful and always be praying. Scatter joy. This is God’s will.”  Thes. 5:14

 

 

Now we’re talking, right? We can all do that!

 

 

Maybe it helps to not be so negative about it all and instead think back to the simple WWJD? He would help someone hurting. He would give to someone in need. He would show humility rather than pride. And most of all, He would love.

 

 

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” Saint Teresa of Calcutta

 

 

When someone pulls in front of you in traffic, rather than get angry, consider that the woman driving might be a single mom who is rushing home from a 10-hour shift to feed her kids.

 

That rude waiter just might be a college student working to pay for his classes and is feeling a little overwhelmed.

 

That homeless person at the intersection is a human being and a person who is hungry and ashamed to be asking strangers for help.

 

And that elderly person at the grocery store blocking my way down the aisle might be lonely and dealing with multiple health issues. I’m talking to you Carla!

 

Remember, life’s challenges are designed not to break us, but to bend us toward God.

 

 

Another way to go is to pray for the Seven Virtues that overcome the Seven Deadly Sins, which are:

 

Chastity overcomes lust

Charity overcomes greed

Temperance overcomes gluttony

Love overcomes envy

Patience overcomes anger

Humility overcomes pride

Diligence overcomes sloth

 

Every day we should pray to be pure, giving, grateful, loving, patient, humble, and enthusiastic. But we will fail. No matter how hard we pray or how hard we try. We are human and we will fail. I fail every day.

 

But we should never give up. Keep fighting the good fight and focus more on what God thinks of you and less on what others do.

 

 

Sadly, today’s world tells us that the more Instagram, Facebook, and Snapchat followers we have the more important and better we are. Not only is this just silly, it’s greedy, gluttonous, and a whole lot of prideful. No, we can’t fully fill God’s shoes, but we can follow His footsteps and be followers of Jesus.

 

 

There is so much hate in the world right now, and you need look no further than your own Facebook page or internet site. Every day I scroll past posts that insult and offend me and are so full of anger and resentment, but I try not to let them sway me or hurt me. Maybe Saint Teresa of Calcutta said it best when she said, “peace begins with a smile.” Maybe today the best way you can be like Jesus is to just smile.

 

 

 

Waaaay less me and waaaaay more Jesus, right? Yes. God wants to make us like Jesus. Think about it though, does this mean He wants us LIKE Jesus or does He want us to BE like Jesus? I’m guessing both.

 

I’ll end today with more wisdom from Blessed Saint Teresa of Calcutta, whose following prayer is not only the subject of a wonderful book titled “Anyway,” but should be the goal of all of ours, Christians and non-Christians alike.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can you relate? We fight naps tooth and nail through childhood and then some time around adulthood we long for them. We may squeeze them into our days during college and then start them up again as we hit retirement age, but for the most part, a nap is a thing of the past from about six-years-old on.

 

Maybe they shouldn’t be.

 

Study after study shows that a nap can improve mood, energy, alertness, and performance. Some of the world’s greatest thinkers and accomplished humans were big nappers, including Winston Churchill, John F. Kennedy, Napolean, Albert Einstein, Ronald Reagan, and Thomas Edison. Maybe they were on to something.

 

Not only is napping associated with the benefits listed above, it can lead to improved memory and creativity and the habit of a mid-day rest has been associated with a 37 percent reduction in mortality. The reduction of cardiovascular stress induced by daytime sleep is why. Still, the United States is becoming more and more sleep deprived with more than 40 percent of Americans saying they get less than the recommended seven hours of sleep a night according to a Gallup poll.  Wake up people and realize that a mere 15 minute nap can make a world of difference.

 

Other places in the world know this, particularly the Mediterranean, Southern Europe, and much of Latin America where “siestas” are common. Originating in Spain, these early afternoon breaks came about not because people were tired, but because they were looking for a way to avoid the scorching mid-afternoon heat, especially during the summer. In countries where siestas are common so are heavy midday meals; another reason for afternoon drowsiness.

 

I’m sold but not necessarily on board because, as much as I love a good nap and the idea of regularly doing so, I find it hard to just doze off in the middle of the day. My mind reels and I think about the many things I could and should be doing.

 

Still, I loved that my father-in-law had what my mother-in-law called his “10 Minute Chair,” meaning you got in it and could doze for just a bit. I also stopped in awe when I got home from work the other day and saw my husband and his cousin who was visiting from NY both “head back, mouths open, and sound asleep” on our back patio. At 2:30 in the afternoon. So restful.

 

It all makes sense when you consider that more than 85 percent of mammalian species are polyphasic sleepers, or sleepers who do so for short periods throughout the day. Much of the animal kingdom falls in this group like the otters on an Alaskan lake I caught resting in Alaska in this photo. Humans, on the otherhand, are monophasic sleepers, meaning days are divided into two distinct periods: one for sleep and one for wakefulness. Ironically, infants enter the world as polyphasic but change to monphasic as toddlers.

 

 

Children need their naps. The Univeristy of Colorado discovered that kids who didn’t take an afternoon nap displayed less joy and interest in things around them and had higher levels of anxiety and lower problem-solving skills compared to those who napped regularly. Kids get cranky, right? Well, so do adults.

 

Truth be told, siestas are becoming fewer and far between among Spain’s adult professional workers, but you will still experience the closing of shops, restaurants, churches, banks, museums and other places of business between 1-5 p.m. in smaller towns. I remember when my sister lived in Spain she had to get used to scheduling her days around the siesta. Imagine all those errands you run every day not available between 1 and 5 p.m. Crazy, right? But like I said, this is also the case in Portugal, the Phillippines, Malta, Costa Rica, Greece, Nigeria, and in Italy where the naps are called “riposo.”

 

Originating from the Latin “hora sexta,” “siesta” relates to the fact that a day’s hours traditionally begin at dawn so noon, the sixth hour, is the perfect time to rest, as depicted in Barcelona painter Ramon Marti Alsina’s “Las Siesta” painting shown here. Traditional siestas in Spain can last for two hours, but experts recommend short 10-20 minutes naps to improve health and productivity.

 

It’s those short “power naps” that can prove most beneficial. According to the National Sleep Foundation, these types of catnaps provide improved alertness and performance without leaving you groggy. They also don’t interfere with getting a good night’s sleep. Not all naps are created equal though.

 

“Planned” napping are those snoozes you take before you actually feel tired. Think napping when you know you’ll be up late or when you want to avoid being tired later for a special event. “Emergency” naps are when you suddenly feel tired and just can’t go on another rminute with sleeping. Lastly, “Habitual” napping is the practice of taking a nap at the same time each day.

 

If you want to integrate the practice of napping during the day, make sure you have a comfy and restful place to do so. This would include limiting the amount of distracting noise and bright lights. Timing your nap is just as imperative. If you try to do so too early in the day, your body may not be ready for sleep but if you take a nap too late in the day, it might affect nighttime sleep patterns; a big no-no!

 

A nap longer than 20 minutes long is not recommended if your goal is to improve alertness and production because snoozing for any longer will result in just the opposite. It’s called sleep inertia, which is that feeling of grogginess and even disorientation when you wake up from a deep sleep. We all know the feeling. You say “I’m just going to shut my eyes for a bit” but then find yourself sound asleep in bed, unable to get up and get going. This is because when you wake up from a nap lasting longer than 20 minutes or so, you do so just as your body was starting to enter a deep stage of sleep. You don’t want to go into that deep sleep; you merely want to relax.

 

This was proven in a study by the research journal “Sleep” that examined the benefits of napping. The results showed that a 10-minute nap was most beneficial in reducing sleepiness and improving cognitive performance but a nap lasting 30 minutes or longer was more likely to result in sleep inertia.

 

 

Naps aren’t for everyone though. I can think of several friends and family members off the top of my head who I can’t ever imagine napping during the day. You know who you are and you shall remain nameless!

 

I think of them mostly because they are solid Type A personalities who can’t sit still or just live extremely busy lives. In addition to these types, napping isn’t for someone who has trouble sleeping any place other than their own bed or someone who simply has trouble sleeping during the day. Naps are not necessary or mandatory. If they don’t appeal to you, no biggie.

 

Those who do revel in naps report the reduction of mistakes and accidents in their work place and researchers say regular nappers also gain psychological benefits like relaxation; rejuvenation; and the feeling that your brain is being rebooted, refreshed, and, in the words of the tech sphere, defragged. Think of a nap as a way of “cleaning” your brain’s “cache” and “deleting cookies.” Some even equate them to taking a mini-vacation or experiencing a pleasant luxury.

 

Corporate America is listening.

 

    

 

Where as sleeping on the job was once a major taboo, today more and more companies are not only encouraging it, they are providing places to get it.

 

Zappos, Ben & Jerry’s, and Google all offer in-house napping rooms with Google’s being a futuristic lounge with womb-like chairs that boast built in soothing sounds. At athletic giant Nike’s Portland headquarters, employees have access to quiet rooms where they can nap, meditate, or just relax.

 

A lack of sleep costs the U.S. $63 billion a year in lost productivity and 29 percent of American workers say they have fallen asleep at work. Smart companies like these aren’t turning a blind eye to some office hours shut eye and are instead embracing the idea of napping during office hours.

 

Perhaps former Congresswoman Barbara Jordan said it best when she siad, “Think what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk about three o’clock every afternoon and they lay down on our blankets for a nap.”

 

I’m in. Are you?

 

 

 

 

I’m not sure how many of you watched last night’s Red Carpet arrivals to the Met Gala and I’m pretty over celebrities as a whole but I watched, because…fashion. The Met Gala is an A-list fundraiser that benefits New York’s Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute but in recent years it’s morphed into a star-studded “bring out your most dramatic and innovative fashion” event. Think more Star Trek meets the MTV Awards then the Oscars.

 

Each year there is a theme around which the fashion is supposed to revolve, and this year it was avant-garde Japanese fashion designer Rei Kawakubo. The annual event is held the first Monday in May, which is also the name of an entertaining docu-film and if nothing else, it’s eye-opening.

 

 

It’s where Taylor Swift showed us her punk side

 

 

Rhianna wowed us in yellow

 

 

Beyoncé dropped the fashion mic in latex

 

 

Ivanka Trump stole the show in cobalt blue

 

 

And in 2004 it’s where her dad proposed to current First Lady Melania

 

But those are so previous years. What about last night?

 

 

Here are my Best and Worst Dressed attendees:

 

South African Supermodel Candice Swanepoel brought the drama is this stunning black gown by UK retailer Topshop. I was both impressed and surprised by how many other attendees wore Topshop creations.

 

 

Vogue Editor and Met Gala queen bee Anna Wintour was sparkly and festive in this Chanel complete with tulle and feathers. So unlike her and I liked it! She’s even smiling!

 

 

I remember watching a young Blake Lively in “Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants” and thinking, “Wow! She’s gorgeous and should be a star!” Well, hell-oh stardom! Lively was regal in this gold and feather-trained Versace. And her earrings? Flawlessly cobalt. Perfection.

 

 

 

I’m not usually a fan of most anything that “actress” and model Emily Ratajkowski wears as it’s normally way too much Emily and way too little fabric, but this shimmering turqouise Marc Jacobs sheeth was fabulous. Simple meet spectacular.

 

 

Julia Roberts’ niece Emma did her aunt proud in this red Diane von Furstenberg. I love the peek-a-boo lace inserts beneath the straps and I loved the red lining of her bubblegum pink stole.

 

 

Karlie Kloss in this Carolina Hererra short take on a tuxedo is a bit too low cut for me but I would die to be able to wear it, albeit with a little less plunge. Those legs! Those shoes! That hair!

 

 

Reese Witherspoon pushed her traditional style limits in this one sleeve, thigh high, black and blue Mugler and I love it. It’s sassy, stylish, and stunning.

 

 

Model Taylor Hill in this custom burgandy Carolina Herrera is breathtaking. I think Taylor is so beautiful and if I could have any one designer dress me, it would be Carolina Herrera. What’s not to love here?!

 

 

Actress Zoey Deutch dazzled in this clean and chic Tory Burch with oh-so-trendy flounced sleeves. I loved that she paired the traditional look with modern disk-shaped earrings and that Burch is proving herself on the Red Carpet.

 

 

Now for the Worst…

 

Let’s start with the “It” Girls…Bella, Kendall, and Kylie.

 

We get it Bella, you’re stunning. We also get that when you have to witness this cuteness between your Ex and Selena Gomez, you opt for an attention-getting cat suit and try to bring it. Maybe next time don’t try so hard. And is it just me, or do they have the same hairstyles? Awkward. Selena -2. Bella – 0.

   

 

 

Next up, Kendall and Kyle. It pains me to write about any K family member (and I’m purposely not including their older half-sister because her white dress was …yawn…underwhelming) but I’m the first to admit Kendall is a natural beauty and in that family, natural is hard to come by. Still, her barely anything La Perla number was swooned over as was Kylie’s Versace. Kendall’s “gown” fit like a tee and fits right in with La Perla’s famed undies line and the fact that her bootie was out there to be seen by all was just unnecessary. The top model’s younger and uber-surgically-enhanced sister’s flesh colored mesh gown seemed to wash her out, as did her blonde wig.

  

 

 

Katy Perry looked so ridic I don’t even know where to start. Maybe just start over.

 

 

Zendaya is a very pretty young girl but it sometimes seems like she’s still trying to prove herself as anything but the reason Giuliana Rancic tarnished her Fashion Police hostess crown. IMHO this hideously-hued gown won’t help her case. I keep hoping but the fashion verdict is still out on her.

 

 

Anytime I see Lena Dunham I think “ick” and this only makes that a capital “Ick.” Girl gone wrong.

 

 

Ri-Ri, you always bring it but I just can’t bring my head around this one. I don’t even like the lace-up sandals.

 

 

Is this a case of “we really don’t give a flip” or was the dress code really “Coachella goes glam?” Either way, I don’t blame Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson for not smiling. I’d frown too if I had to wear either of those get ups.

 

 

And for the worst of the worst I bring you Madonna. Can someone please tell this aging woman to grow up and quit begging for attention? A grill and a camo dress? Please. Maybe it’s time someone blows up her fashion choices.

 

 

I always have some “on the fence” choices, and here are my Met Gala ones:

 

I loved the idea of Cara Delevingne’s dazzling Chanel pantsuit and I’m obsessed with her silver stilettos, but something is just not right here. Maybe it’s the hair. Was it too much? Maybe it’s the plunge. It was definitely too much. Still, there’s hope. And it’s Chanel.

 

 

Kate Hudson’s one-shoulder white Stella McCartney is probably one of my favorites on her but I’m not sure about the matching hair. I like the top knot but am still shaking my head. Maybe it’s because I’m not her biggest fan. Still, the dress is killer.

 

 

I like the idea of trench coat gown, and have long swooned over this Ralph Lauren gown from previous years:

 

But for some reason Priyanka Chopra’s custom Lauren just didn’t seem right. Maybe if it had been in black. Yeah, that would have worked.

 

 

As for couples who worked it, here’s the best dressed:

 

Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen, Selena Gomez and The Weeknd, and Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriquez.

 

 

Bundchen looked every bit her super model self in this silver, open back Stella McCartney, but who wouldn’t look dazzling with Tom Brady on their arm?

 

 

If anything says the opposite of a black cat suit, it’s Gomez’ simple and serene Coach dress. On a Red Carpet filled with “look at me, look at me” drama, sometimes less is more.

 

 

JLo for once covered up and looked every bit as breathtaking as a princess in this lovely blue Valentino that screamed “old school glam.” On a Red Carpet filled with young girls, sometimes it pays to dress your age. Are you listening Madonna?

 

And that’s a wrap. Let me know whose dresses you loved and whose you loathed. Did I miss anyone? Did I mislabel anyone? I love hearing your opinions!

 

The other day as I jumped in a friend’s golf cart I was surprised when she said, “You’re all done up to play golf!” I said, “But I’m just in normal golf clothes” to which she replied, “But you’re wearing perfume.”

 

I didn’t know how to respond, as I almost always add a spritz of fragrance as I sprint out the door regardless of where I’m going, whether it be to meet the Queen of England or play a round of golf. You could say it’s how I was raised.

 

One of my fondest childhood memories is of my mom and dad getting ready to go out. They always got dressed up and my mom always wore perfume. She still keeps her lovely bottles of perfume perched like little trophies on a bathroom counter mirror.  Joy and L ‘Air du Temps were her go-tos and to this day they remind me of her. We were a solid middle class Hispanic family so perfume was considered very special in our home. We got it for gifts and we gave it for gifts. Still do to this day. Every year I get perfume from my mom for either my birthday or Christmas. I do the same for my daughter and my husband is firmly all in on the sweet smelling gift-giving idea.

 

“I just adore fragrance. I can’t leave the house without putting on a scent, even when I’m at my most minimal and rugged.

I have bottle of perfume in every handbag.”

Sarah Jessica Parker

 

I’m with you Carrie Bradshaw and Kate Middleton might also agree.

 

Just last week I learned what perfume the Duchess of Cambridge wore on her wedding day to Prince William: “Bluebell” by English brand Penhaligon. And while most of us can’t afford an Alexander McQueen gown similar to Kate’s, we can afford her royal-approved scent, which goes for around $50. Who doesn’t want to smell like a princess and have a special “something blue” to wear on her wedding day?

 

 

I don’t know if Bluebell is Kate’s signature scent, but I do know than mine is Chanel’s Coco Mademoiselle. I’ve worn it for years and never tire of it. I do, however, like other scents, and on a crystal cake stand in my closet are perched some of my other favorites: Carrie Bradshaw’s perfectly named “Lovely,” David Yurman’s classic gold Eau De Parfum, Nina Ricci’s L ’Air du Temps (probably from my mom!), Caudalie’s The Des Vignes, Cartier’s classic red, a small sample of the currently popular “Flowerbomb” to see what all the hoopla is about, and a trademark Chanel No. 5 perfume that I bought in Chanel’s flagship Paris boutique.

 

If I could, I’d probably also have a bottle of Ralph Lauren’s original square red-bottled fragrance, as it will forever remind me of college. Sweet Honesty, Jovan Musk, and Clinique’s Aromatics will always bring back my younger years. Then there’s Charlie, White Shoulders, and even Halston. We all remember them, right? Perfume has a funny way of lingering in our memories. You could say it’s almost spiritual.

 

 

Well there you have it, it’s not only spiritual; it’s biblical, with the next verse stating “For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ.”

 

I recently read Author Rita Snowden’s story about visiting a small village in Dover, England. Sitting one day in an outdoor café, she picked up the most beautiful of scents and later learned that what she smelled was the villagers themselves, most of who worked in a nearby perfume factory.

 

The blog “Our Daily Bread” compares a person’s aroma with their Christian life, quoting Paul as saying “we are the aroma of Christ, spreading His fragrance everywhere.” Indeed. We “spray and spritz” Jesus through our words and our actions. We can tell others about Him, speak words He would be proud of, and conduct ourselves in Christ-like ways. At the same time, as we follow Jesus, we become permeated with His fragrance and carry His aroma with us.

 

Okay, so we want to smell good and do good, but when it comes to perfume, how can we do it best?

 

First of all, understand that perfume is activated by body heat so for long-lasting results spray it on pulse points like your wrist, neck, behind your knees, and on your ankles. If you want a more subtle scent, spray it on your hair and clothing and if you really want your scent to last, layering may help. This is when you combine a body lotion with a perfume. Either way, make sure your skin is always moisturized as nourished skin helps a fragrance last longer. Also, be sure to store perfume bottles away from light sources.

 

Fragrance in perfume is built in what are called “notes.” The “top” notes of a fragrance are what you smell right away but burn off the most quickly. These are often citrusy or fruity. Florals are often “middle” notes, which are considered the heart of any fragrance, are warm and soft, and last longer than top notes. “Base” notes develop last, linger longest, and consist of those heavier woodsy and musky scents.

 

Still, just because a scent smells wonderful on someone you know doesn’t mean it will smell the same on you. Just as chemistry-like labs are where perfumes are concocted, body chemistry is really the final ingredient in how any fragrance smells. I’ve had many a friend and family member buy Coco Mademoiselle because they like how it smells on me only to be disappointed that it smells entirely different on them.

 

Many perfumes stand the test of time, others come and go. The newest trend in perfume is “fragrance cocktailing.” This is the art of mixing two or more scents to create a scent no one else will have or be able to purchase, unless of course you divulge your mixing secrets.

 

If you are tempted to go this route, consider doing so with two fragrances that have a common ingredient, say jasmine or musk. Or if you’re the adventurous type, do the opposite and mix two completely different scents such as citrus and spice. Either way, have fun with it as there is no right or wrong way!

 

Okay, but what’s up with cologne, perfume, eau de toilette, and the likes? Basically, they are all variations based on the potency of the perfume. The higher the concentration of fragrance oil, the more staying power and usually the higher price. Parfum boasts the most oil concentration, followed by Eau de Toilette, and then Cologne, which got its name from the German city in which it was first created.

 

The word perfume comes from the Latin “per fumus” meaning “through smoke” and its origins vary from India to Cyprus to Persia.

 

The first modern perfume is thought to have been made at the command of Queen Elizabeth of Hungary in 1370. France soon became the center of perfume making but perfumes were used primarily by royalty and the wealthy to mask body odors. It ultimately came into its own with Louis XV’s reign who named his court “la cour parfumee” court and who demanded a different fragrance for his apartment every day. Madame de Pompadour was also known to order generous supplies of perfume and Napoleon continued the tradition, demanding two quarts of cologne every week and 60 bottles of jasmine extract every month. Still, it wasn’t until the 19^th century that modern fragrances really developed as chemists began using molecules to create new scents and later when a little glass bottle with a number on it hit the market.

 

 

In 1903 Chanel No 5 perfume was created by the House of Chanel and the rest is perfume history. Everyone knows its iconic simple square bottle but the story behind it and its name is just as intriguing as its scent.

 

From an early age, the number 5 was important to French orphan Gabrielle Chanel. She attended daily prayer at her convent-run orphanage in a circular pattern that repeated the number five and she had an affinity for the five-petal rose that was found in the abbey’s gardens and surrounding hillsides.

 

Years later and then a high-end fashion designer, “Coco” Chanel was presented with small glass vials containing sample selections to be made into a perfume under her name. The vials were numbered 1 to 5 and 20 to 24 and she chose the fifth vial.

 

She later told her master perfumer, “I present my dress collections on the fifth of May, the fifth month of the year, so we will let this sample number five keep the name it has already.”

 

Coco Chanel was just as instrumental in the iconic bottle’s design, desiring one in sharp contrast to the elaborate crystal fragrance bottles popularized by Lalique and Baccarat. Instead, her bottle would be “Pure transparency; an invisible bottle and simple bottle adorned only by precious teardrops of perfume of incomparable quality.” The bottle’s shape has remained unchanged since 1924

 

A friend I’ve known since our daughters were in preschool has worn the same scent all these years. If I close my eyes I can smell it, if I smelled it anywhere I would look for her, and if she wore any other fragrance I would pitch a fit. At work just last week I hugged one of my coworkers and smiled as I smelled like her perfume all day. That’s how significant perfume can be. There’s a reason the global fragrance market is worth an estimated $40 billion. Smells like a winner to me.

 

Do you have a signature scent? Do you wear perfume and if so, when? Do certain perfumes remind you of certain memories or people? Please share your thoughts!

 

 

 

 

 

Quick, name three things that make most people cringe.

 

Heights.

Going to the dentist.

Moving/Selling their home.

 

Those are just three and I’ve done all of them in the past year. Didn’t enjoy one.

 

Funny thing is, since moving to Austin 30 some years ago, we have moved five times! This fact is a bit surprising to me considering what a nester I am and considering my husband owned a home in Houston during the big bust in the 1980s, had to write a check for someone to buy it, and swore he’d never buy another house in Texas again.

 

Fast forward and my sweet Yankee boy is still in Texas and just bought his sixth house here. Never say never, right?

 

Our most recent move was eight months ago and consisted of a major downsizing. We are loving our new one story home and the neighborhood it’s in and I’ve surprised even myself at how quickly I felt at home. And good thing, because I don’t want to sell a house or move again anytime soon!

 

For the first time, we built our house, which was great but which also means every little detail had to be selected by us. This can be both exciting and painstaking. My best advice? Don’t rush through any decisions. Consider and reconsider every knob, light, drawer pull…everything.

 

I put a lot of time into the kitchen and master closet and am thrilled with both of them because….storage! Our kitchen is bigger and brighter than our previous one and I love the white beadboard cabinetry with black hardware. I also love the two lantern style pendant lights I convinced the builder to use over the kitchen island rather than three small ones that were given to me as choices. I also scrapped one upper cabinet and had them add a bookshelf, which I’m obsessed with. In hindsight I wish I would have gone with an apron-front farm sink, but that can always be done later!

 

Closet-wise, I couldn’t be happier. When meeting with California Closets to design it, I jumped on the shoe cubbies as well as additional shoe shelves for. You just can’t have enough shoe storage, right? The closet also has drawers for him and drawers for her, including one that is a jewelry drawer complete with a jewelry storage insert. I also had them include space for my ironing board and iron. I’m an ironing freak so these tools deserve a spot of their own!  Something else I’m thrilled I thought of when working with the builder was eliminating florescent light boxes and opting instead for several can lights. Someday I envision replacing the center one with a fabulous chandelier! I also did this in our utility room and will be changing out the flush mount for a pendant or chandelier.

 

Now for some things that I would rethink or do over.

 

I really, really wish I would have made one of the bathtubs in at least one of the extra bedrooms a walk-in shower. Again, can be done in the future but woulda, coulda, shoulda at the get go.

 

In another bathroom, the light switches are behind the door. How did I not notice this, especially considering I had them move a thermostat and switchplate off a main room wall so I could hang a large piece of art on it? Besides, who put switches behind a door? Grrrr….

 

I’m proud to say I didn’t have any mirrors hung in any of the bathrooms, as I really wanted to select them myself. I do kind of wish I would have opted for pendant lighting over the sinks instead of the wall mounts, which I did do in our powder room.

 

In our entry we have a wall of windows that are operable. Considering the Texas heat and constant allergens in the air, I wish I would have made them fixed, like the ones in our family room.

 

I added kitchen drawers, but wish I would have added at least two more.

 

I know, I know…pretty picky, right? But you should be! You are paying a lot of hard-earned money for a home. It’s hard though because you are picking and choosing soooooo many things!

 

All in all though, I love our home and am so very grateful.

 

The Business of Real Estate

On any list of “things that are stressful,” selling a house is usually somewhere near the top. Nothing anyone tells you beforehand can change this.

 

So, what did we learn from recently going through it all?

 

Number one, we learned to be picky about the realtor you choose. My husband’s entire family has worked in real estate for as long as I’ve known him (31 years) and many, many friends are realtors. They pretty much have a market made in real estate heaven right now with Austin, but even though houses may sell in a matter of days, the process is still stressful and choosing an agent is still critical.

 

In choosing our agent, I respected my husband’s appeal to not choose a realtor friend. He’s a successful businessman and wanted to keep this business deal purely business so we went with someone he was familiar with but came to find out he wasn’t a hustler. Our original agent seemed to work around the premise that our house would sell itself but guess what, it didn’t. We ultimately switched agents and are so impressed with Realtor #2 who was such a go-getter, great communicator, and sold our home in no time.

 

This brings me to probably the smartest real estate tip I’ve heard. As we were signing the title to our new home and discussing our selling experience with the title agent, she said it’s not an uncommon complaint in Austin right now, or in any “hot” market. Her advice? Always choose a realtor who was a realtor when the market wasn’t so hot. These long-time agents know what it takes to market a home and are willing to work overtime to do so. If all your agent thinks they need to do is put up a sign, post some photos online on MLS, and are difficult to get a hold of, keep looking.

 

When interviewing agents, do your homework. Your best bet may be someone who specializes in your neighborhood or style of home. Most of all you want them to go the distance for your house so ask them point blank who will be handling your phone calls, marketing your home, taking you to look at houses, and their hours and days of availability. Real estate is a 24-7 business. Your agent should be too. Ask them specifics about how and where they will market your home. The MLS is a must, but don’t let them stop there. If they offer references, ask who they are. If they’re relatives or good friends, ask for additional ones. Finally, know about added “administrative fees” that are on top of standard commissions. We learned this the hard way with the agent who ultimately didn’t even sell our house. These fees are negotiable so negotiate away before signing away!

 

When deciding on a realtor, you will run across hundreds. Everyone sells real estate today. My friend who used to sub where I teach? She’s selling real estate. Former stay-at-home moms? You’ll find their names on “For Sale” signs now. Be picky and think of them as any other professional you might hire to do work for you.

 

If you are selling a house, you will hire a “listing agent,” sometimes also referred to as a “seller’s agent.” If you are looking to buy a house, you will hire a “selling agent.” Confusing, right? Just remember, a listing agent or seller’s agent holds the listing to sell your home, while a selling agent represents someone buying a house. In essence, when you sell your house, the listing and selling agents typically split the commission.

 

To add more confusion, they are all pretty much real estate agents, but they might not be realtors. What?

 

Yep, Realtors are only those who are member brokers of the National Association of Realtors, the industry’s trade association. And what, you ask, constitutes a broker? Basically a broker owns or manages a real estate office or franchise, teaches real estate courses, holds various licenses sales agents don’t, contracts with sales agents to work for the brokerage, and also works directly with buyers and sellers.

 

Whew! Now that we’ve got all that out of the way, what might those listing and selling agents advise you? Here are just a few tips I’ve come across again and again:

 

If you are selling, don’t be put off by potential buyers wanting to look at your property in 15 minutes or so. Let them, even if your house is a bit messy. Messy, not dirty. Why? Last minute types often make impulsive buying decisions and your house may just be their next one. This is also why the agent you hired should be available at all times, as you are expected to be able to show your house at all times. Remember those key words: YOU HIRED. They are working for you.

 

Plug-in air fresheners and other masking products will turn off as many visitors as they will impress. Avoid them.

 

Open Houses in some markets are beneficial, but in hot markets they aren’t necessary or as popular as the majority of visitors aren’t potential buyers, but nosy neighbors.

 

Don’t overprice your house, which is the most common mistake home sellers make. Focus on a fair price, not your dream price. Yes, it’s your home but it’s also business. Take your emotions out of it.

 

Don’t miss the final walk through (and during it, don’t miss things like switch plates behind doors!) This is your last chance to make sure repairs have been done, things are as you requested, and all items that convey are still there.

 

When getting your house ready to show, clear off all countertops and stage it. You want potential buyers to see what the house will look like with their stuff in it, not yours. Plant flowers, buy more lamps, and do anything you can to make your home homier. Also look for things that may not bother you like a broken window blind or faded front door but that will turn away a buyer. In other words, see your house through the eyes of a buyer.

 

When analyzing property values and appraisals, keep in mind that they assess nearby homes of similar size, not the inside of them or any upgrades you’ve made to yours.

 

Millennials are a growing and important real estate demographic and it should come as no surprise that they have very specific wants and needs. These first-time homebuyers ages 20-36 look for open floor plans, energy efficiency, and a place they can ultimately morph into their own style with little effort. Most importantly, they want new kitchens and baths and make sure your agent is up-to-date on all real estate websites and apps, as that is where Millennials head first. Not proficiently marketed online? Not gonna sell!

 

Lastly, if your house just isn’t selling perhaps look no further than St. Joseph. Yes, that St. Joseph. Small statues of Joseph have long been buried in the front yard of homes that are for sale and many swear by them.

 

As head of the Holy Family, Joseph is seen as a source of domestic strength and home security and the practice of enlisting his help in real estate matters dates back centuries. It all started when European nuns buried medal of the saint as they prayed for property on which to build convents. The only rules? Bury the statue upside down and next to the FOR SALE sign.

 

So there’s my two-cent’s worth on moving, selling a home, and building a home. I would love to hear any tips you have so please share!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, we’re officially halfway through Lent. How are you doing with your Lenten sacrifices? Have they gone wayward much like New Year’s Resolutions do, or are you still giving up and giving more?

 

Why do we give up things during Lent?

 

Giving up things we like is said to help us realize that the pleasures of this life are not what we live for. We are traditionally encouraged to abstain from contraptions and trappings that take our attention away from God and anything that distances us from God.

 

Most followers also abstain from meat on all Fridays during Lent and the reasons why vary. Some say it’s a way of following the apostles in saying no to our wants in order to say yes to Jesus. Abstinence from meat also reminds us that Christ offered his own flesh and blood for us on the cross. And yet another tradition holds that years ago only the very wealthy could afford meat and fish was a poor man’s meal. By choosing fish over meat during Lent, we are reminded of that Jesus lived a very simple life and preached humility.

 

The purpose of fasting is also to open up space inside of us to make room for the Holy Spirit to work. Spiritual writers use the analogy of a stringed instrument in that unless the body of a cello is empty, it cannot produce beautiful music.

 

In the middle ages, meat, eggs, and milk were forbidden during Lent. That’s one of the reasons we celebrate with Easter eggs. After 40 days of having no eggs, they became part of Easter morning breakfast traditions. Eggs are also symbols of new life, which is what we all received on Easter Sunday.

 

In addition to fasting, we are asked to offer up prayers and almsgiving. Prayer is said to be our relationship with God, almsgiving is our relationship with others, and fasting is our relationship with ourselves.

 

So why 40 days?

 

You really need look no further than the bible for the answer, as 40 is a very significant number throughout scripture. Moses spent 40 days on Mount Sinai, the Great Flood lasted 40 days and 40 nights, the Hebrews wandered in the desert for 40 years, and Jesus spent 40 days in the garden praying and preparing for God’s plan.

 

If you look even closer at all of those, one thing sticks out: they all involve pain and struggle. Our Lenten sacrifices shouldn’t give us pain, but they should remind us that God uses suffering to bring us closer to Him.

 

There’s something else that takes 40 days to complete: birth. When a pregnant woman reaches her 40^th week, she is considered full term. Ironic? Probably not.

 

Lent hasn’t always been 40 days long however. In early times, the fasting time leading up to Easter was as short as two days but got gradually longer and longer and by the 4^th century, it officially began six weeks before Easter. Fasting is not required on Sundays though, so Ash Wednesday and the three days following it were added, giving us today’s 40 days of Lent.

 

Okay, but why is it called Lent?

 

The English word “Lent” comes from the Anglo-Saxon word “Lencten” meaning “spring.” It is also derived from the German word “Lenzin,” which means “long” as in the lengthening of days as spring approaches. It can also be looked at as a time during which we can work on lengthening the time we spend in prayer and charity.

 

Lent is practiced all over the world, so naturally there is a word for it in almost every language. Most of those words have something to do with the number 40. In Italian it is “quaresima” and derived from the Italian word for 40, quaranta. Same with Spanish, where is it “cuaresma” and similar to “cuarenta, the Spanish word for 40. In French they call it “careme,” which is similar to “quarante,” the French word for 40.

 

 

Lent is a time to renew your mind, body, and spirit. It’s also a time to grow in your faith and prayer life. And, it’s not just a Catholic thing. Observed in Anglican, Lutheran, Methodist, and Eastern Orthodox faiths, Lent officially began on Ash Wednesday and will end on Holy Thursday, March 13.

 

There’s still time to make those amends and find that spirituality. In reality though, there is always time for them. Lent simply reminds us of the importance of doing so but if you’re like me, a timetable and deadline are pretty much all I need to succeed at something. And the way I look at it, if Moses, Noah, and Jesus could all do it, so can I.

Happy Friday and Happy Saint Patrick’s Day! We are all Irish today and there’s a good chance you are wearing something green as you read this. Forever connected with Ireland, Patrick was a gentle and humble man who was actually born in Scotland. Ordained a bishop, he was sent to Ireland to preach the gospel and used the shamrock to teach people about the Trinity. The simple, green plant grows abundantly in Ireland so he cleverly used its three separate parts to explain the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Soon after hearing Patrick’s message, kings and entire kingdoms converted to Christianity and Catholicism.

 

Ireland was sold, and today we all are just a wee bit Irish, but did you know there are more Irish people in the U.S. than in all of Ireland? An estimated 34 million Americans claim Irish ancestry but the population of Ireland in just over 4 million! St. Patrick is said to be buried in Down Cathedral in the County of Down in Ireland, and ironically we celebrate St. Patrick’s Day on the day he died.

 

So now you know the story behind the saint, the holiday, and why you are wearing green today. Green is definitely tied to St. Patrick’s Day, but it’s also tied to jealousy. You know it, you’ve heard it: “green with envy.” That my lads, is nothing to celebrate.

 

 

Envy can cause major problems and even wars. It can make us physically ill and it wreaks havoc in relationships. The strain it puts on us brings out the worst in us. Living in a state of “green with envy” leads to saying mean things to others, thinking malicious things about others, and maybe even acting out negatively toward others. In a word, it’s bad.

 

Still, most of us struggle with envy at one time or another. We envy someone else’s possessions, successes, and life in general. Their kids are smarter, their house is bigger, their job is better. The many faces of jealousy come in the way of wanting something we don’t have such as money, power, beauty, or even fame and prestige. But all of those begrudging thoughts get us nowhere and ultimately make us feel blue.

 

 

You see, regardless of how much we covet what others have and strive to top them, there will always, always be someone better than you in some way. Always. And, as Michael Dell so eloquently said, “If you’re the smartest person in the room, find a new room.”

 

That’s why the constant comparing of your life to someone else’s results only in you feeling inadequate. The only thing comparisons do is point out what you lack and how you don’t measure up. In your mind that is.

 

 

I’m as guilty as anyone about doing this. I think it’s human nature to do so and especially if you’re a Type A personality like me. I live for perfection and everything in its place. If and when I do something, I give it my all and truth be told, I secretly hope someone notices and appreciates my efforts. Interestingly, I’m not super competitive and try my best to be happy with what I have. Where I stray is home décor. I know. It sounds crazy and I love my home, but I’m forever finding new ways to decorate and embellish. I might also occasionally stray to the evil side of envy when it comes to my family. Don’t we all?

 

So, how can we, in today’s “bigger and better” world, avoid that pukey shade of green with envy? One way is, when you feel envy rearing its ugly head, sit back and honestly ask yourself, “What am I jealous of?” “Who am I jealous of?” “How do I compare myself to others?” “Why do I do this?” Also, keep in mind that those people in the gated mansions have problems and struggles just like the rest of us…they just deal with them surrounded by luxury. But remind yourself of one of life’s most reliable rules: money does not buy happiness. With more money comes more pressure and with fame and power comes more responsibility.

 

At the same time, think of ways you can be like those you are jealous of. That friend who has the perfect body? She likely works out and eats right. Get off the couch, put down the ice cream, and just do it. Those material things you think you need so bad? Maybe they were earned by hard work and saving money. Still, there are some ways you just won’t have what they have, be it wealth or health, but keep in mind there are people out there praying for what you do have and what you maybe aren’t appreciating.

 

 

That’s when you should make a list of all you are thankful for and proud of, all of your accomplishments, and all the things going right in your life. Instead of being envious and jealous, be grateful and confident. In doing so I think you’ll find all those Joneses you are trying to keep up with are probably no better off than the Smiths. Hey, I’m a Smith! Time for me to keep up only with who I am and what I’m blessed with.

 

Happy St. Patrick’s Day to all and may you reap the blessings of his prayer.