Beyond Words

“Nearly all men can stand adversity,

but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.”  

Abraham Lincoln

 

The Benghazi committee hearings have come to a close and what does Hillary Clinton have to say for herself? She thanked committee members for “contributing” to her campaign by way of an influx of donations following the hearings. As always, it’s forever about her. Not the four Americans who died (although she did state she has weathered more sleepless nights than anyone…again, all about her) and not about how it happened or why it happened. I’m confused. I’m baffled.

 

Here’s the deal: I’m a Baby Boomer Hispanic college-educated female who thinks for herself and has raised a strong and successful daughter. I’m deeply religious and a proud conservative Republican even though I grew up very middle-class and in a predominantly Democrat hometown so yes, I’ll take your “you are biased” comments up front. I’m also slightly obsessed with current events and have been for literally as long as I can remember. It’s one of the reasons I studied Journalism in college.

 

So, get to the point Carla. The point of this blog is that I’m puzzled and disappointed. I just don’t get why anyone, especially a woman, would support Hillary Clinton for anything much less President of the United States of America. But, my purpose here is not to sway you against Mrs. Clinton, but rather to ask those of you who do support her, a simple and honest “why?”

 

It truly perplexes me that any woman who calls herself a feminist, a Democrat, or anything in between can stand by a woman who has “stood by her man” through public betrayal after public scandal, even though she so famously claimed she wasn’t and wouldn’t. Have we become so desperate for a woman president that we’ll vote for whatever female runs regardless of her lack of true accomplishment and substantiated trust? Is she really the best the Democrats have to offer?

 

I’m pleading with you, my sensible, logical, and smart friends who I respect and admire, what is it? How is it that you so blindly and vehemently support Hillary Clinton?

 

Is it because she has so many accomplishments that you can name?

Is it because she is a publicly humiliated yet loyal wife?

Maybe it’s because in your heart you consider her honest and trustworthy.

Perhaps it’s only because she’s a Democrat and she’s a woman.

Do you just feel she’s “earned” the “title?”

Her successes you cannot deny, but at what cost?

It could be that maybe you’re still just crazy about her husband and long for days gone by.

I can see how you admire her smarts but what about her standards?

Okay, how about it’s because she’s full of new ideas and represents a fresh start for a country on the brink of discord?

I get it, she’s intelligent and accomplished but so is Carly Fiorina and you hate her. Go figure.

 

One thing’s for sure, Hillary Rodham Clinton is polarizing and I doubt she will bring our nation together. Keep in mind she was defeated by a previously unknown former community organizer. What has she done since then that makes her more worthy today than she was eight years ago?

 

Let’s look back.

 

Hillary Rodham Clinton burst onto the national political scene in the 1980s when her husband Bill ran for and was elected president. She was an accomplished yet somewhat controversial lawyer who undoubtedly saw the fast-lane to power through her husband. It seemed like what he had she wanted and she would do anything for and put up with anything to get. The scandals are lengthy and historic, and without going into any gory details, which I’ll let you do if you doubt me or don’t remember them, and these are just a few:

Using the IRS and FBI to target political opponents

Stalking and harassing the legions of women who claimed harassment from her husband

Helping herself to taxpayer-funded White House items

Vince Foster

Travelgate

Filegate

Whitewater

Pardongate

 

And now Emailgate and Benghazi. Let’s look at these two more closely since they are front and center today.

 

“Character is doing the right thing when no one is watching.”

J.C. Watts

 

 

I Want My Own Server and I Want It Now

When HRC became Barack Obama’s secretary of state in 2009 she went through the trouble and expense of acquiring a private email server, something none of her predecessors had ever done. As anyone who’s had simple internet set up knows, much less an entire server, this is no easy task. To do so for the United States’ secretary of state means even more security and precaution. The fact that she claims to have done so for the convenience of using one hand-held device is not only ludicrous but downright insulting.

 

Then there’s the little detail that a State Department employee was paid by her family to maintain the private server, an employee who has since invoked his constitutional right against self-incrimination if called to testify.

 

It goes without saying that the United States State Department had a perfectly good and secure server, but Clinton chose to send, receive, and store emails on a private server during her 2009-2013 term. This begs the question, why? And, it’s estimated that more than 65,000 emails were deleted, thousands of which have since been determined to contain classified information, including material regarding the production and dissemination of U.S. intelligence.

 

And you want to be our president.

 

Equally amazing is that the IT company that maintained Clinton’s private email account was run out of a loft apartment in Denver and the company’s servers were kept in a closet. Emails for the secretary of state of the United States of America and our national security were stored in a closet. In Denver.  Unbelievable, and anyone who doesn’t find it even a tad dubious is either lying to themselves or brainwashed beyond reasoning. Had Condoleezza Rice or James Baker done even half of this, they would have been run out of Washington faster than you can say “vast right wing conspiracy” and they certainly wouldn’t be running for president.

 

 

Four Americans

Then there is the 2012 attack on the American compound in Benghazi, Libya that killed four Americans including U.S. Ambassador Christopher Stevens. Clinton was secretary of state during the attacks and her leadership and honesty have been the subject of Congressional hearings. In the months leading up to the attacks, Stevens repeatedly requested additional security, to no avail, resulting in him being the first U.S. Ambassador killed in the line of duty since 1979. That’s 33 years people.

 

After the bombings, Clinton and her staff as well as the Obama administration all publicly laid blame for the attacks on an anti-Islamic video even though it was later revealed that she had privately communicated with both her daughter and the Egyptian prime minister that it was what she labeled a “planned attack” by an “al Qaeda-like group.” She’s also on record as saying “at this point what does it matter?” Shameful.

 

This is all nothing new. In a 2008 speech, then-Senator Hillary Clinton recalled a trip she made to Tuzla, Bosnia as First Lady, saying, “I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base.”

 

But, news footage of her visit revealed her “sniper fire” claim wasn’t just exaggerated, it was completely false.

 

NBC news anchor Brian Williams was fired for making a similar claim. A news anchor.

 

It’s no coincidence that “Clinton” has become synonymous with scandal. Many would claim that all politicians lie and cheat, but something about the president of the United States conducting sexual affairs in the Oval Office just makes my skin crawl. The fact that his sexual escapades lead to a subsequent impeachment by the U.S. House of Representatives on charges of perjury and obstruction of justice is no laughing matter. He used a cigar; a cigar! And his loving and ambitious wife stood by him and tarnished the character of multiple women who laid similar claims against him. That doesn’t sound like someone I want having my back or fighting a “war on women” and it certainly doesn’t sound like a feminist.  Again, ask yourself: what if this had been George and Laura Bush? She would have been laughed off the page and sent packing to Crawford with all the other so-called rednecks.

 

It seems Hillary Rodham Clinton’s “war on women” consists of covering up and accepting her husband’s multiple affairs and accepting Clinton Foundation donations from countries that have abysmal women’s rights records. Are these facts alone not troublesome to women voters?

 

Pyschologists often say the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Kinda scares me.

 

Sometimes people just become so accustomed to stretching the truth they don’t even realize they’re doing it. When you repeatedly get away with doing so, it’s almost like people start to believe you and you feel you’re above the truth and above the law. Apologies are rare and think about it, when have we ever heard Hillary Clinton apologize for anything?

 

Again, is she really the best we women can offer our country? Shouldn’t we be demanding someone more trustworthy and respectable and a little less flippant and secretive? Just what are her accomplishments anyway? Yes, she’s held the title of senator and secretary of state, but name just five incredible and admirable things she did as either. She ran for senator in a state she wasn’t from and she seems to running from the truth every time I turn around.

 

Still, millions support and adore her. My mom met her years ago at an event in Santa Fe and said she was nice as can be. Cool. I’ve heard Taylor Swift is nice too but I don’t want her running our country.

 

In my opinion, Hillary Clinton seems anything but nice or friendly. In fact she comes off as downright angry and out to get people. I’m not sure I want that in the White House. There is already enough anger out there. We don’t need someone full of resentment and an “I’ll show you” attitude commanding our military and trying to make this country work again.

 

So friends, do we punch the gender lever just because Hillary Clinton is female or do we dig deep and demand someone who will turn this country around and who we have no doubts about? Do we truly believe our country is in such great shape that we want more of the same? I for one am done with a Clinton and Bush campaign and am instead opting for someone new. I will always love and respect both Presidents George Bush and George W. Bush, but I am also a thinking woman who refuses to stay the course and choose a candidate based solely on a name and my loyalty. I prefer a president who is going to offer us a new direction and renewed hope.  If anyone can convince me otherwise, I’m listening. Do tell.

 

 

Fall, my favorite season of the year, is upon us and any day now I’m hoping to be able to start wearing some autumn attire. I love everything about fall: the colors, the weather, Thanksgiving, and the clothing. Aaah, the clothing.

 

 

Several trends were spotted on the fall runways, many of which were not to my liking (wide leg pants, tucking in everything, and skinny scarves to name just a few), but many I did like. Best of all, a lot of them are actually wearable, which is always something I look for in anything trendy or new that I’m thinking of buying.

 

If you are thinking of purchasing clothing you’ve seen everywhere of late, remember my two golden rules: 1. Don’t go overboard on any certain trend and don’t invest too much money in one. Keep in mind trends come and go…and go quickly!  2. If something was previously trendy and you wore it, you’re probably too old to wear it the second time around.  Example in my case: wide leg pants!

 

Here is a quick peek at some of the Fall 2015 Fashion Trends I do like:

 

 

Athleisure

I’m a casual kind of girl. Yes, I love getting dolled up for a special event, but day-to-day I’m much happier in casual clothing and footwear. I’m all Austin and very little Dallas, hence my love of this take on casual yet fashionable that, if done right, can tastefully go from the office to the gym to the happy hour. Women love it and it’s not going anywhere so feel free to stock up on your Altheta, Lulu, and any other chic après-sport lifestyle wear. Just be sure to leave the grey sweats at home.

 

 

Plaid

Anyone who knows me knows I’m mad about plaid. Madras. Buffalo check. Window pane. Mel Gibson’s kilt in Braveheart. You name the plaid; I love it so I’m loving this fall trend! The prep-school pattern doesn’t need to be stuffy though. Pair it with something edgy and you’re good to go. Best of all, you need not spend a ton of money on it…Target is as mad about plaid this fall as I am!

 

 

Capes

Ann Taylor                         Ted Baker             Vivienne Westwood

These outwear alternatives to a classic coat were all over the runways and I’m all over them. They are both stylish and dramatic and are the perfect winter cover for Texas’ mild winters. Pair them with a fun mini, take cover, and be your own superhero!

 

 

Car Wash Skirts

How fun are these?! More refined than fringe and more sensational than a plain wrap, these whimsical numbers are best teamed with simple blouses. Show off those legs and swing away!

 

 

Long Blazers

      InStyle magazine

I’m not a big fan of blazers in general, but perhaps that’s because they really don’t fit my lifestyle. So, when I saw this trend I thought, “Okay, I can go for it.” Longer than a traditional men’s cut, these jackets add a bit of polish to your look as well as warmth.

 

 

 

“Accessorize Me”

 

Color Block Bags

             Furla                               Longchamp                    Prada                    Valentino

Probably not something you want to carry if you’re sporting hot plaid, these bags are still to die for. A little mod, a tad retro, and a whole lot of style!

 

 

Gloves

My bridesmaids wore them in our wedding and Amal Clooney brought them back at the 2015 Golden Globes, and all I can say is “it’s about time!” Audrey would be so proud and I’m so happy they’re back!

 

 

Block Kitten Heels

Call me old-fashioned or call me just old, but I love me a stylish kitten heel. Thankfully I can be a bit trendy this fall with the hot new crop of block-style kittens. Sky high and stiletto have met their style match in this fall’s trendiest heel. Can I get an amen?

 

 

 

Fall 2015 Trends I’m Not Loving But Not Hating

Fringe

                    Shopyourway.com

Some of this I like, some not so much. I’m not big on looking head-to-toe western, but a tasteful bootie or bag with fringe make me smile. Pair with something dressy and think more Rodeo Drive than rodeo.

 

Bows and Tie-Necks

I had one on my wedding dress and I loved Princess Di’s obsession with them. Now they’re back on everything from blouses to wrap dresses. Keep everything else traditional though so you don’t scream “Alexis Carrington.”

 

“Tips Not Trends”

Give Them The Boot

                InStyle

Boots are everywhere this fall and winter. They are fun, sensible, stylish, and often comfortable so what’s not to love? What’s not to love is when a certain boot is mismatched with clothing.  In a nutshell, booties or ankle boots look best with maxis or anything that falls right around the ankle. Midi or moto-boots look great with slit skirts and those that tickle the mid-calves, while over-the-knee boots are a mini’s best friend as long as they are flat unless you are a super model.

 

Here are some other tips from “Good Housekeeping” magazine. (Perhaps not the “Vogue” of fashion, but I thought this visual was both helpful and accurate.)

 

 

 

Coat Check

I love winter coats but sadly I really don’t get the chance to wear them much so I try not to invest too much money on them. As with boots and almost anything fashion-related, there are rules to live by when choosing what coat to wear.  If you’re wearing a pantsuit, choose a maxi coat and if you’re wearing a dress, opt for a chic cinch-waisted wrap coat if possible.  Knee-length skirts look best with short swing or what I like to call “car” coats, and if you’re brave (and young!) enough to wear a mini skirt, keep it classy with a traditional double-breasted long coat.

 

So there you have it, my humble take on fall 2015 fashion. Shop wisely, have fun, and keep it classy!

There’s been a lot of talk in the news lately about a privately funded granite monument of the Ten Commandments being ordered removed from the grounds of the Oklahoma state capitol. I guess some people find the 10 rules offensive, but why? My guess is because they are God’s Ten Commandments. Were they some government’s or court’s “laws on how to live,” I bet people would be way more supportive of them.

 

Think about it. What can anyone possibly have a problem with guidelines declaring you to respect your parents, not kill, not cheat on your spouse, not steal, not be envious, and not gossip? Well, surprise, those pretty much sum up much of those ten rules God handed down to Moses, rules that both Christians and Jews believe.

 

As a refresher, here are the Ten Commandments:

1. I am the Lord your God.
2. Thou shall bring no false idols before me.
3. Do not take the name of the Lord in vain.
4. Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy.
5. Honor thy father and thy mother.
6. Thou shall not kill.
7. Thou shall not commit adultery.
8. Thou shall not steal.
9. Thou shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
10. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s wife or anything that belongs to your neighbor.

 

Pretty basic, right?

 

Okay, I get the whole “God thing” about the first four to a degree if you are not a believer, but after that, what’s the big deal?

 

It’s easy to see that the first four deal with our relationship to God and how to worship Him, and the rest are about our relationships with other people. “Well I certainly don’t kill or steal” you might say to yourself, but have you ever left someone feeling lifeless just by what you said? Do you bring life to the people you meet or do you leave them feeling empty and unworthy, thereby killing their spirit?

 

At the same time, “I’ve never cheated on my wife” may come out of your mouth but keep in mind that cheating can be more than sex. Much of society today is sadly indifferent about sex and we live by a “as long as I’m not hurting anyone it’s okay” mantra, but perhaps this is where the “bear false witness” and “steal” enter the conversation. Do you “steal” time away from your husband or wife pursuing your own personal interests? Do you “steal” someone’s reputation through lies or gossip? You may not covet your neighbor’s wife per se, but are you envious of those infamous Joneses? Makes you think doesn’t it?

 

It baffles me that people find these rules offensive and inappropriate for public display. Let us not forget that our country was founded on Christian principles by Christian men and women and that Christians are still the majority in our country…at least for now. Still, we are somehow being pushed to the back of the room and all liberties and rights are being afforded to everyone but Christians. And don’t start with the whole “church and state” thing because it doesn’t fly. The separation of church and state was created to keep the state out of the church, not vice versa.

 

I find it amazing that other countries such as Ghana, whose first line of its national anthem is “God bless our homeland Ghana” and Nigeria, whose anthem includes “O God of creation, direct our noble cause,” have no issue with those lyrics and yet “God Bless America” and “In God We Trust” suddenly bother so many Americans. Go figure. Go pray.

 

Another thing that baffles me is how and why atheists or agnostics are so troubled by the mere mention of God and by things like those Oklahoma Ten Commandments. Even the devil believed in God. Besides, if you don’t believe in something, how can it offend you? Wouldn’t that be like me being offended by public displays of unicorns? Wait, there I go, bearing false witness against my neighbor.

 

Even though I have never watched, or in many cases even heard of, at least half of the shows nominated and honored during last night’s Emmy extravaganza, I watched the show off and on for, if nothing else, the fashion; the gowns!

 

So, without further ado, here my personal “Bests,” “Worsts,” one “The Verdict is Still Out,” and one “Trend Alert” for the ladies of last night’s red carpet. Let me know what you think.

 

BEST DRESSED

Jaime Alexander in Armani Prive

The minute I saw this gown I died. The color. The fit. The details. The slicked back hair. Perfection. And how gorgeous is she?

 

 

Tatiana Maslany in Bouchra Jarra

The early arriver stole my heart from the get go. I loved her pantsuit choice that played peek-a-boo. Sleek. Streamlined. Stunning. I only wish it was tailored better. She’s young. She will learn.

 

 

Ariel Winter in Romona Keveza

Showing many of her elder stateswomen how glamour is done, young Ariel brought old-school Hollywood glamour to the red carpet in her strapless sophisticated gown. Soft waves in her hair just added to the feel. You go girl.

 

 

Zoe Kazan in Miu Miu

Call me crazy but I’m crazy about this candy-striped confection. Playful yet dramatic and accessorized to perfection, it was one sweet gown!

 

 

Christine Baranski in Zac Posen

How uh-mazing does Baranski look? The “Good Wife” star definitely knows what looks good on her and on a red carpet (if you don’t believe me, check out previous year choices) and she does it all so age-appropriately and with glamour and style. Loved the hot pink and how hot (yet classy) she is.

 

 

Viola Davis in Carmen Marc Valvo

Hats off to Davis for wining and for the somewhat unknown Valvo for putting her in such a gorgeous gown. Who wasn’t cheering for her and who won’t be Googling Valvo? A win-win.

 

 

Maggie Gyllenhaal in Oscar De La Renta

One rarely goes wrong when Oscar is chosen and Gyllenhaal did it right in this purple delight. Dubbed too “promy” by some I say “hey, if I could have worn Oscar to my prom, I’m in!” Loved the full skirt and the tie-back.

 

WORST DRESSED

Kerry Washington in Marc Jacobs

Much like Jessica Alba, Ms. Washington could wear a Hefty bag and the glamour squads would applaud. Many of them did so for last night’s tea-length razzle-dazzle but I didn’t care for it. At all. And that hair! Mine looks just like that and I’ve had strep for a few days. Ugh.

 

 

Heidi Klum in Atelier Versace

Heidi, Heidi, Heidi. What were you thinking? Unflattering color, bad cut, and just wrong on so many levels. And why were her legs so much darker than her chest and arm? Looks like Ms. Project Runway needs a new Project Manager.

 

Tracee Ellis Ross in Zac Posen

You want a bad prom dress, here it is. The “Black-ish” star should have been very “if-ish” on this choice.

VERDICT STILL OUT

Christina Hendricks in Naeem Khan

Although I loved “Mad Men” and her role in it and I adore how Hendricks adores her own curves, I’m not sold on this dress. The detailing feels like it should work but something just doesn’t.

 

TREND ALERT

Chain Straps

Both Taraji P. Henson in Alexander Wang and Claire Danes in Prada rocked the chain straps. I loved Henson’s look head-to-toe (The cut-out!  The sleek Bob!) and I kinda liked Dane’s purple sparkler, but that hair! It’s like she wore a youthful dress then decided on a 1980’s anchorwoman hairstyle. Not good. On anyone.

 

 

 

And that’s a wrap. Let me know what you think and share your favorites and not so favorites!

 

 

 

 

Tomorrow school officially starts for me, as my little three-year-olds begin their year in my preschool class. “Carla’s Crayons” are in for a year of fun and learning, growing and doing. Why the Crayons? Because I love to color! My class has always been the “box of crayons” and our class book is “The Crayon Box That Talked” by Shane DeRolf, but little did I know a bunch of preschoolers were on trend!

 

Apparently coloring is the new “it” thing…for grown-ups!

 

 

Check your social media sites and visit a local book store. Both will be full of coloring pages posts and coloring books. But I’m not talking Dora the Explorer or Frozen, I’m talking about very detailed and intricately designed coloring books for adults.

 

There are coloring books featuring animals, flowers, Hindu and Buddhist symbols, and pretty much anything you might want. I still prefer coloring Barbie, dogs, Winnie the Pooh, and princess books, but am pretty sure I could color just about anything.

 

 

So, why coloring and why now? The reason for its boost in popularity among adults is a mystery, but the benefits of doing so are scientific. Expert after expert raves about the positive effects of the fun and colorful activity normally associated with children, and are keen on the fact that coloring uses both the holistic and tactical sides of our brains.

 

Coloring slows people down. In today’s “hurry up, hurry up” world, sitting down with a coloring book slows your heart rate and reduces stress by lowering the activity of the amygdala, the part of our brains that controls emotions affected by stress.

 

Sitting down with a color sheet also relaxes you and quiets your mind. It takes us back to our childhoods and simpler times filled with more playing and less stress.

 

 

The other parts of the brain that coloring incorporates are those that stimulate creativity, logic, and motor skills. While coloring, we use our imaginations and even though we use someone else’s design, the end result is our own, personal and unique work of art. You get to choose what to color where, and in the end, you feel artistic and a sense of accomplishment all thanks to a little box of colorful crayons.

 

The childhood pastime also not only helps little ones focus, but grown-ups too. While coloring, especially a very detailed piece, your brain is completely engaged in your work. Unlike other tasks like surfing the web or even knitting, it’s very difficult to multi-task while coloring.

 

Finally, it works on our tendency to want instant gratification. We are so accustomed to Googling everything and instantly responding, that we’ve lost our ability to wait for something to happen. You can’t hurry coloring and you can’t hurry art. It’s a win-win.

 

 

As I write this, sitting in my desk drawer is a big box of crayons, the one that has a sharpener on the back. That box of 64 crayons was always my dream as a school-aged girl. Much like Cocoa Krispies and store-bought Play-Do, I couldn’t wait to buy one as an adult. Not far from that box of crayons and in the closet is the Halloween costume I wear each year in my class. Yep, you guessed it, I’m a giant crayon. I guess you could say my fascination with crayons goes way back even though I am not artistic. At all.

 

I also love Sharpies, which could very well be considered the crayons of grown-ups. I’ve always said that if I win the lottery I will write with nothing but Sharpies!

 

 

So popular are adult-targeted coloring books right now, they are on many a bestsellers list in both France and England. There are also coloring clubs being formed across the U.S., leading some to consider them today’s quilting bees for group therapy and socialization. All things coloring are also of course everywhere on the internet, ranging from print-at-home pages to Facebook pages boasting nearly 4,000 members.

 

So, the next time you’re feeling stressed or unfocused, don’t reach for a cocktail or a smart phone, reach for a box of crayons and get coloring! Who’s with me?

 

 

 

 

Happy First Day of School!

 

Although my girl is off being a grown up, I love seeing everyone’s photos of their kids headed to their first day of school. It got me thinking about an activity called “History that Matters” from a training training I attended that asked:

• Name the 10^th president of the United States
• Name the last three Heisman Trophy winners.
• Name your best friend in high school.
• Name last year’s World Series champions.
• Name the vice president in 1974.
• Name three gold medal winners from the most recent Olympics.
• Name last year’s Oscar winner for best actor.
• Name a teacher who touched your life.

 

What does this tell you? As we head off to school today, let’s help kids remember that the teachers they have will matter much more to them in the years to come than any athlete or actor.

 

Here’s to all teachers and students.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Last night I went to a girls only Game Night. We played several games, chatted, drank wine and green tea, ate, and generally caught up on life and laughs. While playing a trivia game, we were all shocked to find out the answer was “The Bible.” The question? “What is the most shoplifted book?” Being that the topic was “Irony” maybe the answer wasn’t so surprising, but in a way it still was.

 

Most of the time “The Bible” is the answer to questions such as “What book has most influenced your life?” NOT what’s been shoplifted!

 

The Holy Bible is a very unique book. Whether you read it or not, you’ve heard about it and can probably even quote it. Have you ever said “Just turn the other cheek?” You just quoted the Bible!

 

Those words, and all the words that make up the Bible, weren’t penned overnight. They were scribed over a period of some 1500 years by what is believed to be more than 40 generations and 40 authors. Those authors weren’t necessarily scholars or royalty either. Yes, there were poets and kings among them, but many a fisherman, shepherd, and peasant are amongst the inspired scripture authors.

 

As a Catholic, I grew up in a home where a large gold-edged, red leather-bound Bible sat boxed on a coffee table in our living room. It’s almost like it was meant to be adored not read.

 

Fast forward many years and I find myself in a Bible study and have been in one for going on 20+ years. Some of the members remain the same, some are new. I love that about it though. It’s the perfect combination of old wisdom and new blood.

 

As a writer, I like to look at the Bible as not just God’s word, but some of the prettiest and most fruitful words ever written. I receive an email every day from a blog called “Our Daily Bread” and really resonated with one of its posts that compared the Bible to love letters, saying “We all cherish letters from those we love and those who love us. That’s why there is so much encouragement in the fact that our heavenly Father has given us a letter called the Bible.”

 

I love that. The Bible is a love letter from God.

 

 

 

I also love my personal Bible. As you can see in the photo above, it is tabbed, highlighted, and marked up. It’s also totally falling apart. I’ve researched companies that can rebind it, but that’s proven to be a search for a miracle. No luck yet.

 

I remember talking about its tattered state in a Bible study some years ago and one of the members said, “Carla, that is the Bible your daughter will someday have and she will cherish its torn pages forever.” Chills.

 

 

 

Different Bible for Different Folks?

What’s interesting, is that as read and referred to as it is, Catholics and Protestants use two different versions. Protestant Bibles have 66 books while a Catholic one has 73. Although they share the same New Testament, the Old Testament in a Catholic Bible includes seven books not found in a Protestant version.

 

The reasons vary but in a nutshell, the final list was approved by Pope Damasus I in 382 AD and formally adopted by Rome. But, in the 16^th Century Martin Luther threw seven of the books out. Interestingly, Luther also wanted to get rid of several New Testament books, including James and Revelation, but he eventually accepted today’s 27 books.

 

Over time, scripture has been authored and handed down and as time went on, the Catholic Church compiled books to form a Canon, an authoritative set of Sacred Scripture. When they did, they included the seven “deuterocanonical books” of Tobit, Judith, Wisdom, Sirach, Baruch, Maccabees I and II, and Esther, which can’t be found in a Protestant Bible. Interestingly enough, these books were also written in Greek rather than Hebrew, which is another reason Protestants decided they shouldn’t be included.

 

Rather than become cynical or skeptical about the differences though, it’s important to keep in mind that God never actually handed down a book and said “Here it is, in its entirety.” Instead, accept the differences and live the word of both.

 

“Preach the gospel, and when necessary, use words.”

St. Francis of Assisi

 

I’ve always loved St. Francis, his “Peace Prayer,” his love of animals, and I love that quote of his. Francis, in all his wisdom, is basically telling us to walk the walk not just talk the talk. We are to live the gospel through our actions, not just read it and repeat it. I think we all struggle with that. I know I do. I am by no means a Bible expert or perfect Christian. I don’t know scripture by heart and much of the Old Testament can still confuse me. Still, it’s something I strive to learn more about and learn better.

 

It’s been said that reading the Bible but not living it out or acting on it is like looking in the mirror and not fixing what’s wrong. If you see your hair is sticking up, you brush it. If you see something in your teeth, you brush them. In the same way, it’s a good idea to brush up on what God’s word tells us and instructs us to do and not do.

 

 

Did You Know?

Like me, some of us find the Bible hard to comprehend. Others know it inside and out. Whatever side you fall on, or even if you’re somewhere in between, here are some fun facts about the Bible to get you going:

 

It is the best- selling book of all time, having sold upwards of 10 million copies in more than 2000 languages and dialects.

• The word “Bible” comes from the Greek word “Biblia,” which means “books.”
• If read out loud, the Bible would take approximately 70 hours to finish.
• The first three words in the Bible are “In the beginning.”
• The last word in the Bible is “Amen,” which means “it is so.”
• The first five books of the Bible were written by Moses and are called the Pentateuch.
• The shortest Bible verse is John 11:35, “Jesus wept.”
• The word “God” appears more than 3,300 times in the Bible.
• The word “Christian” appears three times.
• Sheep are the most mentioned animals in the Bible and the only domesticated animal never mentioned is the cat. (Dog lovers everywhere rejoice!)
• The Apostle Paul wrote 14 books of the New Testament; more than half of it.
• The word “testament” means “contract”
• The Old Testament was written in Hebrew and the New Testament was written in Greek.

 

Perhaps the most interesting tidbit about the Bible is this: The longest book in the Bible is the Book of Psalms. Psalm 117 is the shortest chapter in the Bible, while Psalm 119 is the longest. Between them naturally sits Psalm 118, which is amazingly the center of the Bible! In fact, there are 594 chapters before Psalms and 594 after Psalms. When you add up those two numbers of chapters you get 1188. What is the one verse that’s considered the center of the Bible? Psalm 118:8, which reads, “It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.”

 

Coincidence? I don’t think so! As the Bible itself says in Luke 18:27,“Things that are impossible with men are possible with God.” Am pretty sure He knew what He was doing on this one. Maybe we should just trust Him.

 

 

Did you hear about the pro football player who took away his sons’ trophies? Pittsburgh Steeler James Harrison’s actions went viral when he tweeted, “I came home to find that my boys received two trophies for nothing, participation trophies! While I am very proud of my boys for everything they do and will encourage them till the day I die, these trophies will be given back until they EARN a real trophy.”

 

Bada-boom, bada bing!

 

But, he didn’t end there, but went on to say, “I’m not sorry for believing that everything in life should be earned and I’m not about to raise two boys to be men by making them believe they are entitled to something just because they tried their best cause sometimes your best is not enough.”

 

All of this touched a nerve across the country at a time when kids coast-to-coast are starting a new school year. Some praised Harrison for his actions, others questioned them. I’m somewhere in between. I believe everyone should be applauded for simply working hard but I also think kids today are praised and rewarded too much.

 

I’m not alone.

 

A study conducted by The National Academy of Sciences earlier this year found that children who are overly praised and told they are special are more likely to become narcissists. Webster defines narcissist as a person who is overly self-involved and is often vain and selfish. They think they are better than others. We’re raising a generation of self-centered and arrogant narcissists?

 

Great.

 

 

So, constantly praising our little ones can result in little monsters? Hash tag not surprised. It shouldn’t come as a shock that overvaluing our kids’ practices and behaviors may in fact raise their levels of narcissism rather than their self-esteem.

 

Oh, there they are. The dreaded two words: self-esteem. Do we push it or de we allow it to evolve? Does someone with high self-esteem succeed or does someone who succeeds benefit from the resulting self-esteem? It’s more confusing than the proverbial chicken and egg.

 

If you ask researchers, giving your kids encouragement and “parental warmth” is much more beneficial than praise and telling them they are special.

 

All parents have the goal of raising self-confident, successful, and self-sufficient children and one way we try to do so is by offering words of praise to acknowledge their accomplishments. This was long believed as a way of fostering confidence and ultimately achievement, but now we’re learning it may not always be the case.

 

We also hope to raise leaders. But as Jim Rohn said, “All great leaders keep working on themselves until they become effective.” Rohn encourages aspiring leaders to:

Learn to be strong, not rude

Learn to be kind, not weak

Learn to be bold, not a bully

Learn to be humble, not timid

Be proud but not arrogant

And deal with realities and deal in the truth.

 

Good stuff, right? When’s a good time to start that leader-in-waiting training? Today!

 

 

For starters, avoid the tendency to want to make your kids “feel good” and instead encourage them to “do good.” Compliment them but praise their behaviors not just their brains. We want them to “be nice” as much as we want them to “be smart.” Approval is good, but constant approval isn’t and effort should be admired as much as outcome. Think about asking your child “are you proud of yourself?” when they accomplish something rather than immediately saying “I’m so proud of you!” Self-compliments and self-worth are your goals, not self-indulgence.

 

I’ll never forget watching “CBS Sunday Morning” recently and listened as one of the Rockefeller daughters said, “Everyone, rich or poor, has something bad that happens to them in their childhood but I’ve come to figure out that it’s not net worth that matters, but self-worth.”

 

In addition to the risk of raising a narcissist, praise happy parents are creating “praise junkies:’” kids who grow up in need of someone else’s acceptance and praise rather than their own. Excessive praise can also keep children from feeling bad; which makes it harder for them to learn how to feel good. It can also lead to them tuning out your constant compliments because they hear them so often. Finally, they may ultimately be unable to recognize their own unique strengths and weaknesses.

 

 

Finally, we are raising overly competitive and ultimately mean kids. As Dan Zadra says, we focus too much on winning and not enough on living, “The best example you can leave your kids is an example of how to lie a full and meaningful life.”

 

So what’s the answer? How can we bring up today’s youth in a way that allows them to succeed but still remain humble? I didn’t grow up with a lot of self-esteem so I was bound and determined my daughter would. Still, I didn’t want her cocky. Just confident. So, since day one I enforced the “Believe in Yourself” mantra to Kristen and I’m pretty sure I succeeded in that goal. Sometimes to a fault, but that’s another story.

 

 

 

Be responsible. Be accountable. Also very important. Those two column-writing sisters seem to agree and so do experts, who strongly suggest the presence of clear and consistently-enforced rules and limits. The clearer the rules, they say, the higher the self-esteem. Think about it, if a child has the run of the house, he has nothing to feel proud about or really never has to learn what’s expected of him and meet those expectations. Self-esteem is not the cause of delinquent behavior, it’s the consequence and it is more likely the result of an achievement, not the cause of one.

 

“My father used to ask my brother and, ‘What did you fail at today?’ He encouraged failure. When a parent gives you permission to do that, you learn to take risks and try new things. Real failure is not trying.”

Sara Blakely, Spanx Found and Owner

 

When I read that quote in Good Housekeeping magazine I both fell out of my chair and fell in love with it. Using failure as a motivator and validator. What a concept!

 

In addition to Blakely, many a “failure” has gone on to do great things. It’s believed Albert Einstein didn’t speak until he was four-years-old and that Beethoven’s music teacher said, “As a composer, he is hopeless.” Thomas Edison’s teacher told him he was stupid and Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team. Walt Disney was fired for lack of creativity while many other “creatives” are high school drop-outs, including Billy Joel and Daniel Radcliffe.

 

Failing doesn’t make you a failure. It makes you try harder. Kids with that kind of resilience are the kids we want to raised, not those who feel they are the smartest and the best at anything and everything. If you’re going down the praise crazy path, take a turn and start letting your kids know that there will always be someone smarter, prettier, and richer than them. Someone will always drive a better car and get better grades then them and you as a parent need to realize that other children will do better than yours and be okay with that.

 

“If you’re the smartest person in the room, find a different room.”

Michael Dell

 

 

In the end, self-esteem is strengthened when we overcome a challenge or tackle a difficult situation. Teach your children to tolerate frustration, not avoid it, and to view adversities as challenges to overcome. It is said that adversity reveals and shapes one’s character and that without it; you suffer in ways you wouldn’t even think of.

 

“You will never be the person you can be if pressure, tension, and discipline are taken out of your life.”

James G. Bilkey

 

I’ll end with some advice Bill Gates gave to high schoolers. He warned them that today’s feel-good, politically correct teaching has created a generation of kids with no concept of reality, rights without responsibilities, and how this is setting them up for failure in the real world. Here are just a few of the ones I liked best:

 

• Life is not fair. Get used to it!
• The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself.
• Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not.

 

Although they probably wouldn’t be the best of friends in high school unless it was the “Breakfast Club,” I’m fairly certain James Harrison would totally agree with Mr. Gates. He may be a rich professional athlete, but it’s interesting to note that he was a Kent State University walk-on who was not drafted professionally. He went on to play football in Europe and was later cut by the Baltimore Ravens before becoming a force with the Steelers. Yeah, I guess you could say he’s earned his trophies and the right to raise his kids to do the same.

 

 

Enough. Just enough. Enough of the political correctness police and every one being offended by everything. I swear this country has turned into a nation of wimps and “my way only” whiners. I thought I’d seen and heard it all…until today.

 

That’s when I was browsing social media and came across reports that the Prisoner of War flag is suddenly being considered offensive by some because it, according to a column by Rick Perlstein in Newsweek magazine, “distracts the American public from atrocities waged by U.S. troops against people overseas.” People who were trying to kill Americans Mr. Perlstein! I’m not sure what the last war was that Perlstein fought in, but as presidential candidate Ben Carson recently so eloquently said, “There are no politically correct wars.” Amen Mr. Carson, amen.

 

The other item I ran across that made me scream out loud was on the very “offensive” recruitment video produced for and by Alpha Phi sorority at the University of Alabama. The video, which also features a Bama football player, has been deleted from cyberspace for all time because it “lacks diversity and objectifies women.” Oh dear. Call the troopers people, this is a bad one.

 

Really? Can you say grow up people; grow a pair?

 

All of this later had me singing to Kacey Musgraves’ delectable song, “Biscuits.” Here are the lyrics. I think we can all learn something from them.

Taking down your neighbor won’t take you any higher
I burned my own damn finger pokin’ someone else’s fire
I’ve never gotten taller makin’ someone else feel small
If you ain’t got nothin’ nice to say don’t say nothin’ at all

 

Just hoe your own row and raise your own babies
Smoke your own smoke and grow your own daisies
Mend your own fences and own your own crazy
Mind your own biscuits and life will be gravy
Mind your own biscuits and life will be gravy

 

Nobody’s perfect, we’ve all lost and we’ve all lied
Most of us have cheated, the rest of us have tried
The holiest of holies even slip from time to time
We’ve all got dirty laundry hangin’ on the line

 

So hoe your own row and raise your own babies
Smoke your own smoke and grow your own daisies
Mend your own fences and own your own crazy
Mind your own biscuits and life will be gravy
Mind your own biscuits and life will be gravy

 

Pourin’ salt in my sugar won’t make yours any sweeter
Pissin’ in my yard ain’t gonna make yours any greener
And I wouldn’t know about the rocks in your shoes
So I’ll just do me and honey you can just do you

 

So hoe your own row and raise your own babies
Smoke your own smoke and grow your own daisies
Mend your own fences and own your own crazy
Mind your own biscuits and life will be gravy
Mind your own biscuits and life will be gravy

 

 

 

Nobody’s perfect.

You do you and I’ll do me.

Hoe your own row.

Own your own crazies.

 

Awesome, right?

 

But rather than live by these simple rules, Americans instead are fighting the fight against everything from flags to team names. It’s almost like people are looking for the next trendy something to be offended by. Oh, but unborn human baby body parts and the religious rights of Christian bakery owners? Yeah, they don’t count.

 

Ub. Surd.

 

Amazingly and actually totally contradictorily, while we’ve become a nation of intolerants, we at the very same time are preaching that we should tolerate everything and everyone. You can’t have it both ways people. You just can’t.

 

 

Let’s go back to the POW flag controversy.

 

The commonly flown black and white flag was conceived by Mary Hoff in 1971. Hoff’s husband, Navy pilot Lt. Cmdr. Michael Hoff, was deemed Missing in Action in January of 1970. Hoff called Annin Flagmakers of New Jersey and talked about creating a flag to represent all POWS and MIAs. The task was assigned to World War II vet Newton F. Heisley who modeled the flag’s silhouette after his son who is a Marine. Today the flag is the only non-national flag that any federal government anywhere in the world has mandated to be flown regularly.

 

Pretty offensive, right? I’m appalled.

 

Ugh.

 

 

Okay, I get some of it. The Dixie flag? I can see how it might be offensive to some, but to the point where we can’t watch “Dukes of Hazard” on TV or have confederate hero statues in public places? Cray-cray.

 

Instead of arguing and fighting about what’s offensive and what’s not, I’d love to see America once again become a nation of victors, not victims. Winners, not whiners. What’s happened to us? Maybe it’s time we all take a deep breath and mind our own biscuits. Maybe, just maybe, life will then be gravy.

 

In these lazy days of summer I’ve found myself binge watching the glorious “Parenthood” and in one, Julia’s friend tells her:

“Pretending you are happy is almost worse than being miserable.” 

Hmmm, I thought. So true.

Today, pretend no more!

Be happy and, if you can, eliminate what makes you miserable. If you can’t, then as one of my favorite bloggers Jennifer Boykin recently wrote, tell and ask yourself, “So what. Now what?”

Now what friends? Make it a great day that’s what!