Beyond Words

In the spirit of Thanksgiving…

“Manners easily and rapidly mature into morals.”  Horace Mann

Memories of Thanksgiving as a child conjure up images of my parents’ dining room table set perfectly with a formal table cloth; my mom’s china dinnerware; crystal stemware; silver serving pieces; and all of us dressed in our “Sunday best.”  They are happy memories but I also remember being very stressed that day and anything but relaxed.  We had to wake up early to get things going and my mom expected nothing but the best of table manners during dinner.  I’m grateful for the education and, for many years, followed her traditions with my own family.  I considered it important to teach Kristen how to set a table and am hoping she’s comfortable doing so.  Lately, however, I’ve opted for a more relaxed (and fun!) Thanksgiving Day and dinner complete with TV trays and football watch parties.  Both Norman Rockwell and my mom would be mortified!

Don’t get me wrong, I do believe everyone should know the proper way to set a formal table but I also believe sometimes relaxed is the way to go.  By knowing how to set the stage and table for a formal or even informal meal, however, you can essentially paint a serving canvas for any occassion.  So, read on for my latest installment of “I like it but don’t always practice what I preach” blogs!  Even if you don’t use the guidelines for family meals, it’s good information to know when dining out.  In addition, sometimes it’s fun to jazz up a casual family dinner by simply setting the table in a formal manner.  Think about it:  paper plates and utensils look better placed properly on a table and mac and cheese never looked so good as when on a china dinner plate!

Before consulting the diagram below, here are some basic rules of thumb to remember:

“BMW” = bread, meal, water/wine.  This is an easy way to remember the order of items from left to right.  (Or, make the “okay” sign with both your left and right hand and then place your fingers facing across the table with pinkies lowest.  Your hands will make a “b,” for bread and a “d,” for drinks.)

A tip even kids can remember:  “The silverware had a fight.  The knife and spoon were RIGHT so the forks LEFT.”

Wet on the right, dry on the left.  (water, wine, coffee/tea, salad and soup utensils go on the right.  Bread and main meal utensils and napkins go on the left.)

Always place knives you are using on their corresponding plates.  Never place a used knife on the table.

Napkins stay on your lap throughout your meal.  If you leave the table for any reason, put your napkin on your chair until you get back.  Never, ever place a napkin you are using on the table.  When leaving the meal, it’s okay to nicely fold your napkin and place it down.

The proper way to eat soup is to spoon away from you and wipe the bottom of the spoon on the lip of the bowl.

Always cut your salad.

Always pass the pepper with the salt and vice versa.  Think of them as a couple.

Bread is to be torn one piece at a time, buttered one piece at a time, and eaten one piece at a time.

A white fabric table cloth will complement any formal setting.

Remember to keep centerpieces low enough so guests can see over them.

Servers will typically serve you from your right side and remove plates from your left side.

Don’t push your plate away when you are finished eating.  Instead, place your knife and fork at the top of your plate, which signals a server that you are done with that course.

I hope this helps and someday comes in handy for you.  Until then, bon appetit!

Today I’m starting my first of many “Thanksgiving Tips” rather than my weekly “Tuesday Tip.”  With Thanksgiving just one week away, I thought I’d share some practical and some not so practical tips and information.  Use them as you wish!

Let’s start with, what else, setting up a proper, self-serve bar.  Granted most of us, me included, simply pull out bottles of wine and bottles of beer, but for those of you who care, there are guidelines for serving spirits with style.  Even if you could care less about being fancy, setting up a proper bar will prevent you from having to stock it repeatedly, making your time more enjoyable!  Keep in mind that, in most situations, it is customary for the host to prepare the first round of cocktails, after that, guests are on their own.

First off, pick your spot.  Choose somewhere sturdy and big enough for several people to gather around.  A central location is best, but you don’t want it to be where everyone gathers.  The actual bar should be integral to the party, but not the center of attention.

Next, gather the essentials.  Your goal, depending on budget and crowd, should be high-quality ingredients and meticulous care in preparation. You will want both red and white wines as well as dark and light beers.  As for the “hard stuff,” standard basic liquors include vodka, bourbon, rum, whiskey, tequila, scotch, vermouth and gin.  Equally important are mixers.  Club soda, cola, diet cola, tonic water, ginger ale, lemon lime, orange juice, and cranberry juice are essential.  You will also want to have a carafe or two of water as well as bottled water.

Once the ingredients are set, garnishes are next.  Be sure to include an ice bucket nearby (or better yet, ice maker, as you never have too much ice!); a jigger or shot glass for measuring; a bottle opener; a simple-to-use cork screw (key word:  simple!); and small bowls of lemons, limes, olives, and cherries.  You should also have a small cutting board and knife nearby should additional fruits be needed.   Provide a discreet towel for any minor spills and always keep a garbage bin handy but out-of-sight.  Finally, a pretty or festive glass with stirrers and a basket or tray with cocktail napkins will complete the set up.

As for glassware, go all out!  Have appropriate size glasses for white and red wines, steins or mugs for beer, high ball glasses, and a mix of other sizes including martini and margarita stems.  You will generally stock as many glasses as there are guests.   Disposable cups in various sizes are good to have on hand as well.  Toby Keith would be proud of your red solo cups!

It’s that simple friends!  If this seems like too much and you are able to staff a bartender, that is yet another option.

Finally, keep in mind that your home is the bar so you need to be responsible for those drinking in it and then driving away.  It’s important to be a savvy host but even more important to be a smart one!  Cheers!

It was only two words, but two very powerful words.

I pride myself on being the wordsmith in the family and Smitty is the numbers guy, but yesterday he was the wordsmith.  We were sitting at a table enjoying some pre-game tailgating before the OU-Baylor game when were joined by two gentlemen.  Come to find out that the elder of the two, Jerry, was the young man Chance’s godfather and a veteran.   We talked at length about his service, the Sooners, our kids, and our country.  He was a good ole boy, friendly as all get out, and now gratefully retired. He lives a simple but happy life on a lake near Tulsa, loves his godson and loves his Sooners.  He isn’t wealthy or handsome but has riches money can’t buy.  As he said goodbye and “nice meetin ya’ll,” Smitty softly said, “That’s America” as Jerry walked away.  His words literally gave me chills.  So true and so prophetic coming from the numbers guy.  Sometimes even wordsmiths are at a loss for words.

So today on Veterans Day, thank you Jerry and all veterans to whom we owe so very much.  You make us proud, you make us free, and we honor you.

“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power. ”  Abraham Lincoln

Today is officially the day before the day that could change this country.  Tomorrow is Election Day and so much is at stake this time around.  Most of you know my politics so I’m not going to make this a political rant.  You and I both agree that we’ve heard enough ranting and raving over the past few months to last a lifetime; most of which really doesn’t matter and probably isn’t true.  As history has proven time and time again, it’s not over til it’s over and every vote could count!

This has got to be the most tumultuous, and by-far the most expensive, presidential election ever.  It pits two vastly different men with vastly different beliefs and vastly different plans for our great nation.  What happens tomorrow could, at the risk of sounding redundant, vastly change the direction of the country and the futures of our children and their children.  It literally scares me.

Many of you may still be in that enigmatic “undecided” group.  How you can be is beyond me but amazingly you just might hold the election results in your indecisive little hands.  It’s frightening on many people take voting for American Idol more seriously than voting in a presidential election.

Whether you love or hate either or both President Obama or Mitt Romney, please vote if you haven’t already.  There are many other candidates and offices on the ballot and many of us are also voting on propositions, bonds, and other important items.  My friend Leslie told me just this morning that she heard in a news report that regardless of who wins the presidential election, many of us will probably not see a big change in our lives.  This is not always the case with local elections however.  They are most likely the ones that will affect you and your pocketbooks.  Don’t overlook or underestimate them.

I hate to admit it, but I still haven’t voted.  I will most definitely be in line tomorrow but it is not how I planned things.  I tried several times to early vote.  Come to find out that Travis County, the county I reside in, was kind enough to provide one permanent early voting location for an entire swath of populous land in northwest Austin.  If you ask me, perhaps the long-time liberal officials tried their hardest to make it difficult for voters in the more conservation northwest ‘burbs to vote.  Not so fast my friends.  We will vote!

I don’t need to remind you that voting is a right and privilege; rights denied to many.  Think of the millions in countries around the world who would appreciate and covet the simple yet powerful right that many of Americans voluntarily deny themselves.  FDR once said, “Noboyd will ever deprive the American people of the right to vote exept the American people themselves, and the only way they could do so is by not voting.”

Get out there and vote America.  Our future depends on it.