Beyond Words

One day recently while playing golf, the “Barbie” movie came up. Some had seen it but I haven’t. Don’t get me wrong, I looooooved Barbie but heard such mixed things about the movie I opted to pass. Will I watch it now that it’s streaming? Maybe. But while talking about the movie and its stars Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling, we got to talking about how much I loved Robbie’s TV series from way back called “Pan Am” and since I loved the book “Maid” I liked her in that too. We also talked about how Gosling’s wife Eva Mendes has opted to take a pause from her actress life to raise their kids. (Harrison Butker surely applauds her.) From there it took a turn to sandwiches. Yep, sandwiches.

 

One of my friends mentioned that she’d seen Gosling interviewed and when asked what his favorite sandwich was, he said “ice cream.” A bit unexpected but understandable nonetheless and it got me thinking about a recent Reel I saw online that listed the top favorite sandwiches. So, sandwiches it is today friends!

 

 

What is your favorite sandwich? Everyone has one, even if it’s an ice cream sandwich! Mine? I gotta admit I turn to my inner child on this one as two of my absolute favorites are a classic PB&J and a grilled cheese. A simple grilled cheese though, not (although I do like them) a “fancy” one a la Baltazar in New York City. And as for a PB&J, I like grape or strawberry jelly, over jam, and creamy peanut butter, over chunky. I love PB&Js so much that my recent discovery of them at a simple news store in Austin’s airport literally made my day. Wrapped in cellophane, they are the perfect go-to snack while waiting for a flight or boarding one.

 

 

The more grown-up Carla is not a fan of classic sub sandwiches made up of a variety of cheeses and meats but I do love a chicken or egg salad sandwich. Tuna salad is good too. Lastly, the more ravenous and unhealthy version of Carla loves a Philly Cheese Steak sandwich. I’ve even had one at one of Philadelphia’s original cheesesteak diners.

 

Okay, but back to the list.

 

“USA Today” reports that, according to data, 79 percent of people either “like” or “somewhat like” a good old’ grilled cheese sandwich best. It was closely followed by grilled chicken and turkey sandwiches, which tied for second with a 75 percent likeability score. Here’s the complete list of the top 15 favorite sandwiches in the U.S.

 

1. Grilled cheese
2. Grilled chicken
3. Turkey
4. Roast beef
5. Ham
6. BLT
7. Club
8. Bacon
9. Peanut butter & jelly
10. Pulled pork
11. Tuna
12. Egg salad
13. Meatball
14. Reuben
15. Cuban

 

 

While most of the above sandwiches are beloved across the country, it’s interesting to note how tastes vary by region in the U.S. For instance, YouGov reports that people in the Northeast prefer lobster rolls and meatball subs more than the rest of the country. And in the West, they’re much more into the French dip. I’m guessing the South ranks highest when it comes to egg salad or pimento cheese sandwiches and Texans love their pulled pork BBQ sandwiches. And, who’s ever been to New Orleans and not had a muffuletta? This combination of ham, salami, mortadella sausage, Swiss and provolone cheeses, and olive salad all served in a muffuletta loaf, which is similar to focaccia, is not my favorite, but beloved in the Louisiana.

 

One “sandwich” that didn’t make the list, and I added the quotes because the sandwich jury is out as to whether it’s truly a sandwich, is the good ole Sloppy Joe. I like the combo of ground beef, onions, and tomato sauce all slopped together in hamburger bun but not enough respondents did to make the below list. Other honorable mentions include a crab cake sandwich and a cucumber and cream cheese tea sandwich. Check, check; like them both.

 

 

Yet another debate is how you pronounce “sandwich.” My mom has forever said “sangwich” and then there’s the “samich” crowd. And, is the D silent? Sanwich or sandwich?

 

In all seriousness though, sandwiches are serious stuff. What goes into each one is the talk of the town square everywhere and they are big business, so here’s just a sampling of what’s what. Enjoy!

 

 

Grilled Cheese. Not widely exciting or inventive, a grilled cheese is simply hard to hate. The key is keeping it simple with just bread and cheese. I like my bread a little buttered too.

 

Chicken Sandwich. I had no idea that none other than Chick-fil-A actually invented the chicken sandwich. It was created by the fast-food chain’s founder as an alternative to the hamburger and is now beloved by many.

 

Turkey Sandwich. This one is kinda boring to me but most like it because it can be not only delicious, but healthy. Forego the mayo and opt for mustard, top with lettuce and tomato, and you’ve got a somewhat nutritious little treat. Turkey melts are also yummy!

 

Roast Beef Sandwich. This can be made in several ways, including with just mayo and other toppings ranging from horseradish and aioli to the more exotic French Dip. Consisting of thin-slice roast beef, Swiss cheese, and onions on a French roll or banquette, the French Dip is also served with a side of beef broth for dipping. Ironically, it was not invented in France but at an LA sandwich shop called Phillipe The Original back in 1918. Maybe this is why they are way more popular in the West then elsewhere in the U.S.

 

Ham Sandwich. Thick slices of ham are the stars of this sandwich and are often joined by cheese, preferably Swiss, tomato and mustard. The very first recipe for this classic came from cookbook author Eliza Leslie back in 1840, where she instructed, “cut some thin slices of bread neatly, having slightly buttered them, and if you choose, spread on very little mustard. Have ready some very thin slices of cold boiled ham and lay one between two slices of bread.” The sandwich, which I do like, has come a long way since then but its roots remain.

 

BLT. Fun story. Growing up our family’s “BLT” didn’t have lettuce or tomato, but rather bacon in between one slice of bread spread with peanut butter and another slice spread with mayo. Odd I know, but beloved by us to this day. The more traditional version consists of bacon, lettuce, and tomato served as one. The sandwich became a national craze after World War II when the ingredients were sold in grocery stores at affordable prices.

 

Club Sandwich. Like the BLT, it gets its name from its ingredients: Chicken and Lettuce Under Bacon. This, I did not know! The popular sandwich first appeared in America in the late 19^th century and traditionally includes chicken, lettuce, and bacon served in a three-layer form with an extra slice of bread in the middle and served in quarters.

 

 

PB&J. Another favorite named for its ingredients, the PB&J is favored by old and young alike. The simple sandwich has been around since the turn of the 20^th century and, like the BLT, became popular during World War II as they were staples on ration menus as their ingredients were cheap and accessible. You could say this is the “All American Sandwich.”

 

Pulled Pork Sandwich. I do enjoy a good pulled pork sandwich…preferably sauced up and shredded barbecue pork. It should come as no surprise that this sandwich has its roots in the South and that’s where you’ll find the best versions, often served with coleslaw, where it’s most popular.

 

Tuna Sandwich. The story behind this classic consists of not a sandwich, but a salad. Toward the end of the 19^th century, restaurants began catering to their female clientele by serving healthy yet hearty salads with tuna. Years later, as women joined the workforce en masse, the more complicated salad became an easy to go sandwich and it’s still one of America’s favorites. If you want to get really fancy, there’s always a tuna melt consisting of added cheese and a toasted creation. Yum!

 

 

Egg Salad Sandwich. Yet another southern favorite and a Masters tradition, egg salad sandwiches are considered a bit “old school” but once you’ve had a good one, young or old you are sold.

 

Meatball. Next up, the meatball sub. The whopping more-than-a-sandwich features a hearty helping of ground meat or meatballs, mozzarella or provolone cheese, all heated up on a baguette or other large roll. Men tend to prefer this sandwich over women and I’m on board with that.

 

Rueben. This seems to be one of those things that you either love or hate. I’m not a fan but many are. Like the meatball, the combination of corned beef, Swiss cheese, Russian dressing, and sauerkraut served up on grilled rye bread, is more popular with men then women and is especially beloved in the Midwest.

 

Cuban. I always think I’d like this sandwich more than I do. Maybe it’s the combination of thin-sliced roast pork and glazed ham. Traditionally those meats are topped with Swiss cheese and dill pickles and then stuffed into a thick and unique Cuban roll.

 

 

Amazingly, British royalty is to thank for the sandwich, which originated in the 18^th century and was named after John Montagu, the 4^th Earl of Sandwich. Legend has it that he came up with the idea of putting meat between two pieces of bread so he could continue eating while playing cards. Okay fine; the English may have invented it, but it’s safe to say the Americans have perfected it.

 

 

I’ll end with one of my favorite sandwiches not listed above: the compliment/criticism/compliment sandwich. Never heard of it? It’s actually pretty essential in the art of conversation when it comes to feeling the need to criticize or offer disparagement to someone. It’s ingredients? Start with praise or a compliment, top and follow that with the criticism or advice, and top it all with more praise. This sandwich takes the bite out of what might be an awkward encounter and makes a savory addition to what otherwise might be too salty or spicy. Give it a try and make conversations savory!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As I sit writing this my husband is out in the yard fertilizing our lawns. No big deal, right? Wrong. This is the husband who is not in any way, shape, or form a handy or home improvement kind of guy. For some reason though, this year he’s all about the lawns and has put a lot of love and effort into them. He even went to Home Depot today after mass to get the right lawn food. IYKYK and if so, you know that no day is really a day to find him on the home improvement aisles, least of which the Sunday of a major golf tournament. But there he was. All alone. And he even bought a gorgeous pot of Impatiens for our back patio and says we need more flowers! Someone call the troopers; this ain’t right. (No offense Scottie Scheffler…we are still rooting for you and love you!) Who is this guy and what did he do with my husband?

 

 

 

This is the time of year many of us are tending our gardens, feeding the lawns, and potting those plants. We plant, we water, and we hope. Ironically, today in the church we celebrate Pentecost, during which we commemorate and celebrate the Holy Spirit. Of the many and holy things the Holy Spirit is known for, what are called the Fruits of the Holy Spirit are among the most beloved. In order for fruits to grow, we need to plant them and water them, right? Gardeners plant the seeds much like the seeds of faith are planted in us, specifically those Fruits of the Holy Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control. Then, it’s up to us to water them.

 

 

 

Jesus talks often about seeds, most notably in the parable of the Seed Sower. The Sower spreads the seeds through the ancient practice of scattering seeds, which is the original meaning of our modern-day term “broadcasting.” In the famous parable, the Sower sows on a path, rocky ground, among thorns, and rich soil. On the path, the seeds never plant and are taken away by the evil one. Those sown on rocky ground lack roots so they only last a short time but never fully grow. The ones sown among thorns are choked and bear no fruit but those sown on rich soil are firmly planted and successfully grow. The parable is used to illustrate that Jesus is the seed and wants to take root in us. Is your garden one full of rich soil for those seeds of faith and the Word to grow or are they choked up and live only temporarily?

 

 

 

Gardens also need water. Pardon the pun, but scripture is flooded with water. Noah and his ark. The parting of the Red Sea. Jesus walking on water and turning water into wine. In the faith, when we think of water we also think of baptism, which without, our seeds of faith will not and cannot grow. Water drenches us, helps us grow, is necessary for life, floods us with strength, nourishes us, and cleanses us. Water your garden and your seeds and the good ones are sure to grow.

 

 

 

Unfortunately, there are weeds…in gardens and in life. Gardeners take time to pull weeds and take steps to prevent them and we need to do the same in life. The weeds in life are things that tempt us in all the wrong ways, lead us astray, have us believe lies as truths, and basically choke out what is healthy and right. Make sure you are pulling the weeds in your life.

 

 

In the end, gardens are not made up of just one plant, but of many. Our gardens of life also need many watering us with love and support. I don’t know about you, but those Fruits of the Spirit are things I want growing in my garden and I plan to keep watering them and sowing them in rich soil.

 

 

 

Lastly, not to worry sports fans: hubby’s yard work is completed and he is firmly planted (again, no pun intended!) in his big chair watching the big boys battle it out for this year’s PGA Championship. Those fairways and greens are looking pretty plush. They must have been planted in rich soil and have loving gardeners watering them and tending to them.

 

 

On that note, here’s a little Garden of Daily Living:

 

• Plant three rows of peas: peace of mind, peace of heart, and peace of soul.
• Plant four rows of lettuce: lettuce be faithful, lettuce be kind, lettuce be patient, and lettuce love one another.
• Plant five rows of squash: squash gossip, squash indifference, squash grumbling, squash envy, and squash selfishness.
• Plant six rows of thyme: time for family, time for friends, time for quiet, time for exercise, thyme for giving, and time for prayer.
• No garden is without turnips so turnip for work, turnip for school, turnip for church, turnip for service, and turnip for each other.
• Water gardens freely with patience and cultivate them with love. Remember: you reap what you sow.

Happy Cinco de Mayo! Today is a traditional day of celebration but do you even know why?

 

 

 

Cinco de Mayo, or May 5^th, celebrates the date when the Mexican army declared victory over France in 1862 at the Battle of Puebla during the Franco-Mexican War. It is not Mexican Independence Day, which is September 15, or Dies y Seis de Septiembre, which was declared more than 50 years before the Battle of Puebla. Surprisingly, while Cinco de Mayo is popular in the U.S., it a relatively minor holiday in Mexico.

 

One way many of us celebrate Cinco de Mayo is by enjoying a margarita, but how did the popular drink become so entwined with the holiday?

 

 

Many believe it’s nothing traditional but rather thanks to the invention of the frozen margarita machine, created by Mexican-American restaurateur Mariono Martinez in the early 1970’s. The machine not only made a yummy frozen version of the cocktail, but one that was easy to serve to the masses.

 

The margarita itself, however, does have historic origins albeit often debated ones. Living in Texas, I’m of the belief it originated in the legendary Cadillac Bar in Nuevo Laredo, Mexico, just over the border of Laredo, Texas and a place I’ve enjoyed a marg or two. The bar is known for its “Cadillac Margarita” and it’s a story I’m sticking to. There are many others though.

 

Most origins involve places in Mexico between the 1930s and 1940s and typically involve a bartender and a women named Margarita. One of the most popular ones involves an American socialite named Margarita Sames who claimed her friend Tommy Hilton invented a cocktail named after her and put it on his hotel menus. Paris must be proud.

 

 

Another rumor dates back to 1941 when bartender Don Carlos Orozco from Ensenada, Mexico offered his concoction to Margarita Henkel, the daughter of a German Ambassador. Mozart must be proud.

 

Last but not least is the story of Danny Negrete, who created a drink as a wedding gift for his sister-in-law named Margarita. Negrete has another connection to a woman named Margarita, none other than Rita Hayworth whose real name was Margarita Cansino and who performed at the Caliente Race Track, where Negrete worked.

 

 

Traditionally made with tequila, lime juice, and triple sec, but everyone has their favorite version. Mine is an old college friend’s recipe of a can of frozen lime juice, that empty can full of tequila, and then that empty can full of a beer. Surprisingly, the margarita is actually a descendant of the daiquiri, which dates back to the Royal Navy’s rum stations. Whatever its origins, by the early 20^th century, the margarita had arrived and is today one of the most popular cocktails around the world, ranking No. 7 on Drinks International’s list of the world’s 50 best-selling cocktails.

 

 

 

Something else I love as much as margaritas and is associated with Cinco de Mayo are mariachi bands. What is more festive than a marg in hand and a mariachi band? Mariachi is actually the group of musicians not the style of music and a mariachi band is generally composted of at least two violins, two trumpets, a Spanish guitar, and two other types of guitars usually a vihuela and guitarron. In the 1950s trumpets and a harp were added and all of this combined is what today’s mariachi bands look like. And even though when you think of a mariachi band you think of a group of males, I love that females are often part of one and that there are even all female mariachi bands. What they wear is as infamous as the sound of their music.

 

Called “charro” suits, the distinctive ornate horseman suits are often attributed to General Portofino Diaz who ordered the poor peasant musicians to don the outfits in order to look good for a visit by the U.S. Secretary of State. This visit took place in 1907 and the garments have remained ever since.

 

 

Some historians believe the name “mariachi” is derived from the French word mariage, meaning “wedding,” and it is fitting as mariachi groups still form an essential part of weddings in Mexico and elsewhere. Not having a mariachi band at our wedding either walking out of the church or entering our reception is the only regret I have of that special day. What was I thinking?!

 

Mariachi bands are known for their distinct style of music, but they play many different types although most are closely related to what is called ranchera music, songs that were literally sung on Mexican ranches. The music centered around traditional themes of love, patriotism, and nature and they rhythm of the music can be similar to that of a waltz, polka, or bolero. Ole!

 

 

Lastly there is the beloved pinata, another Cinco de Mayo staple. You will find them in all shapes and colors and they are also popular at birthday parties and Christmas in Mexico. The origin of these festive party favors is very interesting and has a spiritual meaning

 

Spanish priests used pinatas as a method of faith conversion and Aztecs celebrated the birth of the Aztec god of war. Missionaries gave the pinata increased religious meaning and the original pinata has the shape of a star with seven points. These seven points symbolized one of the biblical Seven Deadly Sins of wrath, envy, gluttony, greed, lust, pride, and sloth. The stick, which is used to break the pinata, symbolizes a method to destroy those seven sins. A pinata’s bright colors represent temptation while the blindfold used on whoever is trying to break open the pinata stands for faith. Lastly, the candy and prizes inside represent forgiveness and new beginnings. Who knew, right?!

 

 

 

So there you have it; everything you wanted to know about today’s celebrations. So as you toast your margarita, dance to mariachi music, and maybe bash a pinata, know that everything you do has meaning behind it. That’s life though, right?

 

 

 

Happy May everyone! Can you believe how fast this year is going by and that we are well on our way to summer? Crazy! But summer means many good things, one of which is flowers! I love flowers. I am by no means a green thumb but I do love flowers, especially my two favorites: daisies and Easter Lilies. Daisies are so simple and cheerful and Easter Lilies represent so much and smell so good. I also love Texas wildflowers and boy are we having a season this year! The photo above is from our backyard as I write this.

 

 

 

The photo above is an arrangement I made during a recent flower arranging class courtesy Bunches of Charm Floral Design. I went in knowing zero about the topic but I’m good at following directions and I love a pretty vase of flowers so this class was right up my alley.

 

 

 

And, although it’s past Easter (but still Easter Season in church) and my Easter Lily from this year is now lovingly planted in a flower bed, I also recently watched a Hallmark movie (yes, I love them) called “An Easter Bloom” about a gardener who sets out to save her family farm by entering a floral competition for Easter. Spoiler alert: yes, she saves the farm, wins the contest, and falls in love!  During the movie, a seasoned florist at one point tells her the four principles of floral design: harmony, contrast, purpose, and balance. It all made sense to me and piqued my interest. I wasn’t sure if this was accurate or just “Hallmarky” so I delved deeper.

 

 

Enter Wendy Mouton of Petal Republic who is quite versed in the area and says understanding the principles of floral design is the first step to creating beautiful arrangements. As with most rules, these guidelines are somewhat made to be broken depending on the arrangement’s purpose and supplies available, but you can’t follow or break rules without knowing them, right?

 

 

 

First for Mouton is Balance. An arrangement that’s top or bottom heavy or flat-out lopsided has balance issues, and I’m not talking because they were over-served. The key to achieving balance here is to use the horizontal and vertical lines of it as a guide. It’s easy, simply hold up a pencil in front of an arrangement in the center and determine if both sides are even and does each side attract equal attention? Keep in mind that larger flowers and shapes attract the eye more than smaller ones and warm or brighter colors attract the eye more than cool or dull colors. (More about colors below.)

 

 

 

Next up: Focal Point. This is a piece in the arrangement that draws the eye and anchors the design. This could be a large flower, which should always be placed just above the edge of the container leaving the outside for more delicate and wispy materials, or even a balloon or stuffed animal.

 

 

Accent and Emphasis are closely related to Focal Point and are generally the main cast members of a floral arrangement. These should be large flowers but not too many, shapes that create interest points, bright colors, and shiny textures.

 

 

 

Like a good musical piece, a good floral arrangement needs Rhythm and repetition offers just the right beat. Examples could be long and tall plants or flowers in a long and tall vase or a variation of the same color scattered throughout the design. Also, always use more than one of any type of plant or material and arrange them by thinking of a tree’s natural design: the trunk is broad and the branches generally get smaller as you move up the tree. In a flower arrangement, this type of transition works well by starting with the bigger and more compact middle and moving outward to smaller twigs and leafy materials to create rhythm and flow. Curves, of course, also create rhythm and curved plants are also playful and whimsical. When it comes to transition, color can also create rhythm by using a bridging color between two other colors such as using an orange flower between a yellow and red one.

 

 

Here’s where we bring in color as we talk about Contrast. One of the easiest ways to add contrast is with color and by making use of the color wheel. In case you’ve forgotten your elementary school color wheel, here’s a reminder:

 

In general, colors across the color wheel add instant contrast with the cornerstone Primary Colors of red, yellow, and blue adding the brightest and most vibrant punch that all work well together for a high-contrast grouping. The Secondary Colors of green, orange, and violet (or purple) are opposite the Primary Colors and mix well with their bigger and brighter brothers.

 

 

 

Lastly and perfectly, there’s Harmony. It just sounds pretty, right? Things that create harmony include repetition, texture, and using shapes, whether your arrangement is for in the kitchen or out on the porch. For example, match the color of the vase to the colors in the flowers and just for fun, sing while you’re doing it!

 

 

Okay, so maybe there’s more to floral design then depicted in the Hallmark movie, but isn’t that the norm? Things don’t always end up happily every after but if you follow even most of these guidelines, I’m confident you’ll be pretty happy with your creation. Even after it’s long gone.

Happy Independent Bookstore Day! Who knew? I certainly didn’t but when I found out, I was ecstatic. And the good news is that while big box corporate-owned bookstores are booming, the majority of the retail book market is controlled by small stores. This makes me so happy (actually I’m happy when any bookstore flourishes) as my dream has always been to own a small bookstore with a coffee bar and one that hosts book signings, book clubs, and other gatherings. I even have a name for it: Luna Books. Maybe in my next life.

 

Until then, I’ll celebrate the small book shop boom trend that isn’t limited to just U.S. sales. According to goodnewsnetwork.org, 50 percent of all retail book sales worldwide come from those little bookstores around the corner and tucked away. Yay!

 

 

It’s been said bookshelves say a lot about a person and are like self-portraits, as when you look at someone’s collection of books, you see what interests that person. Bookshelves are hot right now. I’ve always adored them and have several. I’m a physical book girl. No Nook or eBooks for me.

 

 

My dream rooms are either a library like the one in “My Fair Lady” with a rolling ladder or a dining room with built-ins. Again, maybe in my next life.

 

 

Bookshelf Wealth

I’m not alone here, as a new design trend has appeared dubbed “Bookshelf Wealth.” Like we need another video trend or the pressure of pursuing wealth, right? This one’s a good one though; I promise!

 

Yes, the idea first appeared in online videos but rapidly gained popularity in the design world. Videos featuring elegantly styled bookshelves filled with unique collections, objets d’art, paintings, photographs, and lots of lovely books rack up millions of views. But, as featured in “Veranda” magazine, this is a trend that will endure for years. Books are like that.

 

 

So, what’s the difference between a regular ole bookshelf and a “bookshelf wealth” bookcase? The latter’s shelves aren’t overly styled or staged, but rather have a lived-in look and lean into their imperfections to create a cozy vibe in your home. Without even trying or knowing about this trend, I gotta say my bookshelves follow this “new” trend.  Here are some of my faves I found:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Other key tips for creating this looks is to keep in mind that everyone’s bookshelves should be different and based on your own personal taste and collections. You don’t want them to look overly staged or perfect. Also, if you or your collection just aren’t there yet, no worries. You can start as early as today by purchasing a bookshelf or having built-ins installed and then add your favorite books along with souvenirs from your travels, pieces of art, and framed photos of friends and family. Most of all have fun with it and remember that just like financial wealth, you want to invest in your bookshelf wealth and let it grow over time.

 

 

 

Book Club Goals

Perhaps a good place to start collecting books is through a book club. I’m a member of one in my neighborhood and even though I don’t always like or read each month’s chosen book, I love my book club. Extremely popular and literally (excuse the pun) found everywhere, did you know book clubs can actually make you happier?

 

 

 

According to author/blogger/speaker Gretchen Rubin and right along with my previous “Find Your People” blog, belonging to a book club is a great way to meet new people who either share your same interests or open you up to new perspectives and ideas. Being a part of a book club that meets regularly also is in line with “Find Your People” as it ensures you are connecting consistently and hopefully building bonds that stretch beyond the books.

 

So many people claim “read more” as a goal but many also never achieve that goal. Joining a book club is the perfect answer as it ensures you don’t neglect reading or put it at the bottom of your to-do-list.

 

 

 

How to get started? The easiest way is to join an existing book club. If you want to start a new one, be clear about the club’s expectations. Who can join? Can people attend who didn’t read the book? Can anyone suggest a book? Who hosts the club and where? How often does it meet? People often assume a book club has to be organized in a certain way, but kinda like your bookshelves, they can be arranged and created however you want!

 

 

 

 

Reading is healthy for you and ancient philosophers and contemporary scientists agree that strong relationships make people happier and that we need enduring, intimate bonds. We need to feel like we belong. (Hello Jeannie Allen!) and we need to get and give support. Those same ancient philosophers and contemporary scientists also agree that eading makes people happier and that reading regularly boosts creativity, improves vocabulary, reduces stress, fosters empathy and understanding, and is FUN!

 

 

Hmmmm…it doesn’t take an ancient philosopher, contemporary scientist, or rocket scientist to realize that by combining community with reading you are creating happiness! Join a book club. Start a book club. Your personal bookshelf probably has some good starting points and if not, your local bookstore does. Check them out and check out books!

Earlier this week I wrote about finding your peeps and also discussed what I learned about doing so after doing a group neighborhood study on Jennie Allen’s book “Finding Your People.” Ironically the study wasn’t part of my neighborhood book club but rather, part of my neighborhood Bible study. When it comes to friends, you need look no further than the scripture.

 

 

 

Let’s start right with the source: Jesus. You want a squad? He had the squad of squads. Simon (to whom He named Peter), James and his brother John, Andrew, Philip, Bartholomew, Matthew, Thomas, James, Thaddaeus, Simon the Zealot, and Judas Iscariot who betrayed him. Okay, that last one proved anything but a friend but we’ve all been there though, right? We’ve had friends hurt and betray us. Maybe not to the point of death, but hurt just the same. You could say this is just one more way Jesus knows…really and truly knows…what we go through.

 

Jesus kept His 12 companions close at hand and spent the last days of His life with them. They were first called “disciples,” which means learners and then in Matthrew 10:2 they are first called “apostles,” which means messengers. So first they learned and then they preached. Probably something we should all do: listen and learn and then speak.

 

If you remember from my previous blog, Allen wrote with passion about proximity in friend groups and doing our daily lives with each other. We might read about various places in the Bible but think about it, there is only roughly five miles between Jerusalem and Bethlehem yet in those compact five miles, Jesus did work that forever changed the world. Five miles.  My grocery store is five miles away. Lesson learned? We don’t need to spread ourselves too thin to find our people. Who’s in your five miles?

 

 

 

You could literally say God planned this all. He did not want us to be isolated and alone. From day one, (actually day 6), He said, “It is not good that man should be alone” and created Eve to be Adam’s helper. We all know how that turned out but the point is God wants us to be together.

 

Even the Holy Trinity is a community of sorts and when Jesus taught us to pray, He didn’t say to pray “my father,” but “OUR father.” We are in this together whether we like to believe or not. What God has wanted from the very beginning is for us to gather in fellowship and share our lives together.

 

 

 

The gathering of community and banquets is found throughout the Bible and often times a table and food are involved. We need look no further than the Last Supper for proof of this, which is re-enacted and expressed during every Catholic mass. That gathering came towards the end of Jesus’ life, but throughout His life He hosted meals and invited all. Loaves and Fishes. The Wedding at Cana. I am the Bread of Life. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. The list could go on and on.

 

 

 

Equally important to note here is that Jesus invited everyone. He ate with sinners even as others watched in horror. He didn’t do so however, to accept or celebrate their sins, but to change them and their sinful ways. He befriended them. And He, the King of kings, didn’t call them servant. He called them friend. I always told my daughter when she was young, “No one has to be your friend. You have to make them want to be your friend.” Making a friend starts with being a friend and Jesus was a friend to all. You could say He sometimes added a little spice to a meal by way of invitees and often came away with a five star one.

 

 

 

I was thinking we should do that too. We should add some spice to our friend groups by sometimes mixing things up. I’ll up it the challenge even more and ask, what would it be like to have at your table people you have hurt? My hope is that come dessert time, you’d be breaking bread together. Yeah, it’s comfortable to hang out with those who are similar to you and who you are comfortable around, but sometimes we need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Maybe add some different ingredients to those you regularly hang out. Invite the quiet one. Welcome the outspoken one. When you mix beans, a fiber, with rice, a carb, you create a complete protein that gives you energy, builds strength, and fills you up. Same with our friends. They should together make us better and stronger.

 

 

Sometimes I feel my life if full of different ingredients, both sweet and spicy and sometimes even a little salty. The groups of friends I see frequently are so varied that I sometimes feel like a different Carla is part of each different one. Is that bad? Do you experience this too? I’m of the thinking that life changes but friends don’t have to so even though my life stage is different now (and maybe I am too) then years past. And, isn’t it normal to function differently in Bible study then while playing golf or catching up with college buddies? Help me out here.

 

 

 

I’ll close with a famous scripture verse I left out is the often heard: “You reap what you sow.” What seeds are you planting? Are you sowing friendships or are you hiding behind your fig leaf and social media? Instead, how about passing the flavoring and healing attributes of salt and breaking bread together? Be hungry not just for food, but for community. For God. For both. As beloved Father Jared Cooke so eloquently said, “If you’re not hungry for God, you’re probably too full of yourself.”

 

 

 

It’s the subject of one of television’s most beloved sitcoms and it’s the theme of a study I recently took part in based on author/podcaster/woman extraordinaire Jennie Allen’s book “Find Your People.” It is, friendship and it was fascinating.

 

 

In it, I learned we all want people connection and trusted friend groups but it’s kinda hard to find your people when both you and those people are always so busy or live so far away. Ironically, one of my dear college friends who lives far away gave me the book for my birthday a few years back. Now, years later, I got to study the idea all over again with neighborhood friends.

 

Truth be told I might not have been open to this a few years back. That was when, after living in the same city for 30+ years and living a life that included an exciting career and fulfilling motherhood, hubby and I moved to a new (but nearby) town and neighborhood. I remember “making” friends here and there but all the while thinking, “I have 30+ years of friends nearby. Why do I need new ones?” Boy was I wrong. Now I covet my neighborhood and the friends I’ve made in it. As a true introvert, it has taken me longer than others might take, but I’m comfortable and feel at home in our now not so new neighborhood.

 

 

 

Neighborhood. Key word. I’m thankful and grateful that my neighborhood has lots of activities to get people together. I do everything from golf to Bible studies, a rosary group to book club, cooking classes to wine tasting, exercise classes to happy hours and everything in between. Allen would applaud this.

 

Why? Because she stresses that proximity matters as it breeds intimacy. She also notes that yeah, it’s nice to have “every now and then” friends, but true friends do our daily lives with us. Research supports this and reports it takes 50 hours of interaction to move from acquaintance to casual friend, about 90 hours to move from casual friend to friend, and more than 200 hours to qualify as a best friend.

 

 

There’s no denying that everyone wants love and belonging, but they’re hard to give and receive when everybody’s busy and everyone is guarded. We avoid sharing the “messes” for fear of being judged or offending someone’s feelings, but as Allen says, messes are often where we bond the best and that transparency is vital in a tried-and-true friendship.

 

 

Boy isn’t that the truth and it’s something I learned firsthand late last year when I had a death in the family. It’s times like that when you really realize who is there for you and makes an effort to reach out. It’s when you find your people.

 

Former Texas Longhorn (I won’t hold that against him) and pro football player and now TV commentator, speaker, and podcaster Emmauel Acho has some brilliant stuff to say about all this. He categorizes people in his life as if they were a house. He has window friendships, door friendships, and floor friendships. Stick with me; it’s fascinating and eye-opening.

 

Window friends are those who see what’s going on in your life but don’t always know what’s going on. They are on the outside looking in and are those you touch base with on holidays, events. tragedies, etc. You allow who sees through these windows, knowing you can only let so many people in your house.

 

Door friends are those who come in and out of your life. They are there for a reason and for a season. They are also the ones who, when life gets tough or your world gets cold, might exit but sometimes want back in when times are good. They stop making the effort so when they come knocking, you decide whether to open that door again and again.

 

 

Floor friends aren’t going anywhere and are permanent fixtures in your house of life. You can track mud on them, scratch them up, and stomp on them but they will always be there to catch your tears and keep you standing up. They are also there for you to jump up and down on when celebrating. Your house would cease to exist and not be a house without floors. IMO the perfect example of this would be Tully and Kate from “Firefly Lane.”

 

In short, a house generally has more windows than doors and more doors than floors. As long as you have one solid floor, your house (and your life) will be held together securely.

 

 

These kinda fall in line with thoughts from an even deeper thinker: Aristotle. He identified three “species” of friendships:

 

 

 

Friendships of utility are those based on what someone can do for you or what you can do for someone. They have little to do with character and can end as soon as any possible use for you or the other person is gone.

 

The friendship of pleasure is based on the enjoyment of a shared activity or the pursuit of fleeting pleasures and emotions. Think going for drinks with friends or enjoying a hobby or sport. Aristotle notes that this type of friendship is especially common among the young and can end quickly as it is dependent on ever-changing likes and dislikes. This explains why it’s easy to make friends in college but tougher once you enter the real world.

 

 

 

The friendship of virtue gets to the heart of what good friends are. These are the people you like for themselves and who influence you in a positive way. There are common missions, common goals, and common values. It is this virtue that Aristotle lauds and says, that while friendships of utility and pleasure have their place, it’s the rare yet pure friendships of virtue that are the greatest contributors to a good life and prevent loneliness.

 

Ugh. Loneliness.

 

 

 

The Surgeon General once said “The greatest public health crisis in America is not cancer or heart disease, it’s social isolation. Loneliness.” Thank you, distance. Thank you, internet. Thank you Covid and your crippling isolation, increased separatism, and ongoing division. Lessons learned, right?

 

 

We simply cannot cope alone and yet, even though we have more ways to connect then ever before, there is an increase in isolation and loneliness. It’s not uncommon to feel lonely in a crowd. We may have more relationships and “friends,” but we also have fewer and less meaningful ones. In our hyper-connected world, loneliness has become an epidemic.

 

It’s easy to blame the internet, but according to Allen it started way before we were online. She points to the breakdown of the village structure generations before us lived in and thrived in. Today, we live far from those we love, are in neighborhoods with garage doors shut, and a simple wave to neighbors as we see them. We are divided…and I’m talking physically in this case.

 

We’ve also replaced real soul-bearing conversations with “likes” and “shares.” We celebrate individualism and independence way too much. Think about it, when we hear of someone who commits a violent crime, how is he or she typically described? “Social outcast.” “Living on the fringe.” “Kept to himself.” The enemy loves isolation and division and our spread-out world is tailor-made for both.

 

 

 

It came as no surprise to learn that men tend to be more isolated than women and that women generally have more true friendships then men do. It’s not connection males seek as much as belonging, so they often bond over a common purpose or interest. They rarely dive deep with their buddies. My husband can play a four-hour round of golf with someone and come home with zero “news” on their life. Don’t believe me? Next time you see women interact you’ll probably notice they do so face-to-face while men do so shoulder-to-shoulder. We are not the same.

 

 

 

What’s the moral of this somewhat depressing but totally fixable story? We need connection. We need authenticity. We also need frequency more than we need duration when it comes to relationships according to author Grechen Rubin. She firmly believes it’s better to have more short visits with others than few long ones.

 

So, BFFs, buddies, posse, homies, crew, squad, whatever you want to call it; call it often! I promise I’ll pick up.

 

Note: Allen’s book and videos also stressed how all of this is spiritual and I will touch on that in a related blog on Sunday.

 

Same Georgia; same.

 

I recently visited San Miguel de Allende in Mexico. The town is extremely popular and charming in many ways. Beautiful churches. Wonderful food. Colorful architecture. Friendly natives. Hilly streets. Lots of hilly, windy streets. I think we saw all of them as my four girlfriends and I went from store to store, market to market, and shopped til we dropped. I liked much of what we saw, but being a New Mexican native and a Texas resident for nearly 40 years, some of which were near the Texas-Mexico border, I’d seen much of it, purchased it in the past, or rather than fill my suitcase with what I saw, I knew I could buy almost all of it back home.

 

But, the art. The fabulous art. It was one of my favorite parts of the trip. Here is just a sampling of some of my favorites that I remembered to photograph, including art as a chair and a street! I love how the dots on the black-and-white horse spilled into the bottom of the frame too.

 

   

 

As I mentioned, I’m from New Mexico, Santa Fe to be exact, so I’ve been surrounded by and educated about art my whole life. Make no mistake, I have zero artistic ability but I love art. I love those little “Paint and Sip” classes but as much as I enjoy them, I’ve come to discover I have no room or need for the finished products at home.

 

 

I love a home that’s filled with art and I’d have more of it up if it weren’t for my husband who insists on some blank walls. I’m not talking expensive or collectors-type art, but original nonetheless. He’s onto something though I must admit because you never want every wall in your home over-flowing with art or any wall to have too much.

 

 

All of this is why I was so enamored by a recent article in “Elle Décor” that asked, “When decorating one’s home; what comes first: the art or the room?” I know many who have furnished their home then found art to go with it. Most designers agree however, that decorating is easiest and best when a client owns the art from the get go. In truth, maybe it’s a balance between the two.

 

 

I adore the above painting as well as Designer Billy Cotton’s quote that one should be “wary of designing around it too closely as that turns the art into decoration.” Boom! Love that. Art should not be “decoration.” It should be, well, art. Cotton goes on to say that “Art is so personal. It really doesn’t have any function aside from beauty.”

 

 

Yes, you can go to any store, scroll online, and find art. A lot of it actually really pretty and/or cute, like the above print of Andrew Wyeth’s “Master Bedroom” that hangs in our master. It’s always been one of my favorites and a print of it is just fine for me in this case. My heart however, wants original art. My dream would be to own an original Monet or Remington, but I am satisfied with original pieces of art painted by maybe not famous artists but those whose work is original albeit more affordable.

 

 

Art fills our home and fills my heart. One of my most treasured pieces is the above painting our dear friend Laurie Hatch painted. I gave her a photo of my husband and our daughter walking the beach and she worked her artistic magic from there. We also had her do one for my mother-in-law, and upon her passing it now hangs in our daughter’s home. The right art is always a keeper.

 

 

 

 

Does the art in your home need to be of all the same style? Nope. Feel free to mix and match but keep it clean and avoid the impression you live in a museum. Gallery maybe. Museum no. Your art should be personal and tell a story and if that includes something western-themed near a silhouette of a vase of flowers like the above “Red Vase” and “Dinner Reservations” by Terry Crump, so be it. Enjoy it. And buy it. I will forever regret not buying “Red Vase” when I originally saw it many years ago.

 

 

There’s no arguing that art is an essential element in any well-decorated room but what if you don’t have an eye for it or on a budget and can’t afford a designer? I would suggest research, discover what you love, consider your home’s style, and go from there. If you have the art you want to hang and are building a home, even better as you can create custom spots and architectural designs to accommodate it if possible.

 

 

 

Another tip I gleaned from the article and kinda already knew was to never put art in the service of a design scheme. In other words, if your beloved Rothko consists of his signature bold blocks of color, don’t jump to furnishing a room to match it. Better yet, allow it to make a statement and keep in mind that placement is important.

 

 

 

  

Unless you’re dealing with the masters or extremely formal areas, a little whimsy can go a long way. Take for instance the above colorful rubber ducks and toothbrushes for a guest bath, an original sign I had made for another guest bath, a treasured piece purchased on our honeymoon in Jamaica that hangs in our laundry room, and a ceramic deer head draped in pearls. So fun and so easy to replicate. Not every piece that’s up needs to be museum-ready. Sometimes they just need to be loved.

 

 

  

Groupings are also a good idea and create a more playful and whimsical pop of art. These groupings can be anything from the above copper molds in a kitchen, transferware, cowboy hats, some of my mom’s Santa Fe churches collection, the Brittany Fuson originals above the very desk I’m writing this on, or the simple buildings seen in the home we stayed in in San Miguel. Cluster those collections you have tucked away and you’ll be surprised how much joy they bring you and how many conversations they start.

 

 

Lastly, art that’s often overlooked is photography. The above photo is one of my all-time faves. Not sure whose it is but would love to own it! I also love Gray Malin’s photography with the above “Prada” being one of my faves. The Wall Street sign pictured above? That’s an original of mine that happened as I quickly crossed the street in New York and didn’t even know I’d created it until I got home. I still love it. Photography is often more affordable then original art and can make a bold statement all its own.

 

 

So, while I’ll never own a Michelangelo or Picasso, I am the proud owner of the above “original” piece by our daugher when she was little and while I don’t have a home big enough to house everything I like and own, I will continue to appreciate the art I have and discover both nearby and in faraway places. Even if it’s in a market in Mexico. Ole!

 

 

 

One more thing and just for fun: check out Photographer Stefan Draschan’s “Art Matches People” exhibit online. It’s amazing!

 

Here are few of affordable artists whose work I own and love:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

Have you ever wondered, like I did for so many years, why on earth today is called “Good Friday” when it feels like anything but good since it’s the day Jesus Christ was killed? I’ve heard it explained in various ways, but one of my favorites is perhaps that it’s called “good” because our Lord’s terrible death lead to the resurrection and salvation of the world and what is “more good” than that? Granted, there is so much evil in this world right now and more and more proof of unbelievers tooting their horns, but there is still good. There is still hope. And hope is what Easter is really all about.

 

 

The first time today was called good, or “guode” in Old English, was in a text from back in the 1200s…and I don’t mean a text on a phone. Later, in 1885, the Baltimore Catechism explained it as “good” because Jesus showed great love for mankind. And that is good.

 

There is no rainbow without a storm and we can’t have dawn without dark. That’s kinda how Good Friday relates to Easter Sunday. And yes, Sunday is all about joy and celebration but the sadness that came before it is unspeakable. So unspeakable in fact, that none of the four Gospel writers describe it. Matthew merely writes “after they crucified him…” That’s it. Five words to describe what is history like no other history.  Mark, Luke, and John don’t write much more about the actual crucifixion and perhaps for good reason. It was brutal. It was too awful to tell; even for them.

 

 

He was forced to carry an extremely heavy cross on the way to His own death by crucifixion. All the way mocked and, in today’s language “offended” and “bullied,” but protected by no one.

 

A crown of painful and sharp thorns was placed on His head.

 

He was thrown to the ground; kicked and spat on.

 

His arms were painfully stretched on the crossbeam of the cross and he was held down as they drove nails into his palms. Nails into His palms.

 

His feet were wrestled with and placed atop one another as nails were driven into them. Driven into them.

 

The cross was hoisted up with his body precariously nailed to it and writhing as He hung for all to see.

 

He must have wailed and screamed in pain right before He whispered, “Forgive them Father. They know not what they’ve done.”

 

Forgive them?

 

Would any of us ever be so forgiving?

 

This, my friends, was an incomprehensible act of love. Love for you and me. Love for all.

 

To show that love, Jesus died for us. To show our love; we live for Him.

 

Perhaps we’ve become all too familiar with and used to what happened on that cross and the cruelty that lead to His last breath. I remember the first time I saw the movie “The Passion of the Christ.” I could hardly watch parts of it as it was so graphic and real. I’d never witnessed it all like that and should probably watch it again. We all should.

 

 

The fact that it all took place on a wooden cross should not go unnoticed. On that cross made from a tree, Christ reversed the curse Adam reaped on humanity by eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. By being lifted up on the cross, He prepared our way upward toward heaven and the cross stretched His body toward the four corners of the world.

 

 

We all have crosses to bear but none as painful or humiliating as The Cross. Crucifixes are nothing new to Catholics as they adorn our churches, homes, and bodies. The word comes from the Latin “cruci fixus” meaning “one fixed to a cross” and serves as a symbol and a reminder of Christ’s journey to earth, His trials and death at the hands of humanity, and His victory over death. Plain crosses are equally popular among fellow Christians. (Why a crucifix for Catholics you ask? Because it’s not the cross that saved us.) But the cross is not the only example of Christ’s humility and undying love for us demonstrated during His passion. It is said that when we make the Sign of the Cross, the first two gestures form the letter I and the next two cross it out. It’s not about me. It’s not about you. It’s about Him.

 

 

He is King, but the only crown He wore was one made of thorns. Instead of being seated on a throne, He was nailed to a cross. And instead of wearing a royal robe, He was cloaked in mockeries. And yes, He could have ended it all and saved Himself but instead chose to save us.

 

 

 

So, as we “celebrate” Good Friday today, let’s remind ourselves about what actually took place some 2000+ years ago. It wasn’t pretty and it wasn’t painless. But it wasn’t the end. We believe that death is not the period, but the comma. There’s more to come. Yes, we grieve but we grieve in hope knowing that like on Good Friday, sorrow does not get the last word or last laugh. Sunday is coming.

 

 

We all know, or should know, proper etiquette regarding napkins at a table. In brief, they are either folder under the knife and spoon to the left of a plate or creatively folded on top of the plate. Once seated, you are to immediately take the napkin and place it on your lap and it should stay on your lap for the entire meal. When done eating or if you need to get up during the meal, you’re to neatly fold it and place it either on the empty plate or next to it. So that’s etiquette, but have you heard the biblical folded napkin story?

 

 

 

According to Hebrew tradition during the time of Christ’s life and death, a folded napkin had everything to do with a master and a servant. Every Jewish servant boy knew that when he set a table for the master, he made sure it was exactly the way the master wanted it. Nothing new here, right? Yes, the table was properly set and then the servant would wait, just out of sight, for the master to finish the meal. The servant would not dare touch the table until the master was done. Here’s where the napkin comes into play.

 

If the master was done eating, he would rise from the table, wipe his fingers and mouth, and then wad up the napkin and throw it on the table. This was the servant’s sign to clear the table as a wadded up napkin signified “I’m done.” If, however, the master got up from the table and laid a folded up napkin beside his plate, it mean “I’m coming back” and the servant was not to touch the setting.

 

I’m coming back.

 

Hmmmm…any guess how this is biblically related now?

 

Think about it. The Gospel tells us that the clothes Jesus was wearing at death were thrown aside but a cloth was neatly placed over His head. When Simon Peter entered the tomb, he noticed the wrapping lying about but that the cloth that had covered Jesus’ head was folded up and laying neatly on the side.

 

I’m coming back.

 

Powerful, right? The power and meaning of a meal in Jesus’ life is equally significant.

 

 

What immediately comes to mind is likely the Last Supper, but it started way prior. From the very beginning, it could be said that Jesus’ own life and ministry was food and/or meal-centered. At birth He proved food for a hungry world and is the Bread of Life. His ministry often involved meals or food, including His first miracle in which He turned water in wine at Cana and much of His preaching and teaching involved bread and fish. What’s glorious about Jesus’ meals is that everyone was invited. Even those who would betray Him and sinners. It’s important to note here however, that He sat with sinners but not to celebrate them but to change them. Big diff.

 

 

 

The central observances of Holy Thursday today are two-fold: the Last Supper and Jesus washing feet. This last one never fails to amaze me. Here was the King of kings choosing to wash the feet of others. Think about it; if you had one day left to live, what would you do? Jesus knew and He washed feet. Chills.

 

The Last Supper has been the subject of art for centuries, including the famous Leonardo Da Vinci masterpiece. It’s also been celebrated for thousands of years at every Catholic mass. At every hour of every day, somewhere in the world, Mass is being said and the Last Supper is being re-enacted.

 

 

As we sit down for meals this Easter, let’s imagine for a minute a table full of those we’ve wronged, not forgiven, judged, or even deceived. Not very appetizing, is it? Yet, that’s the type of table Jesus set. Then, be grateful for the food on our plates and for even the napkins on our laps. No masters or servants needed to know and believe He’s coming back.