Beyond Words

Isn’t that the truth? I believe this every day and last night the thought was reinforced yet again. In a big way.

I had had a very long and busy week and wanted nothing more than to get in my jammies, watch endless episodes of “Downton Abbey” on Neflix, and call it a week. But, I had somewhere I needed to be: a get together with a group of ladies who I’d done bible study with for more than 10 years starting some 20 years ago. Yes, 20 years ago!

We’d long stopped getting together to live by the name we gave ourselves: LIPS: Ladies in Prayer and Service and monthly Saturday breakfasts had become our norm. Being a woman who loves nothing more than sleeping in on Saturday mornings, I rarely made the breakfasts so when an evening gathering of wine and apps was quickly thrown together I knew I was in even though I was exhausted. It was a decision well made.

I just this week wrote about “The Happiness Project” author Gretchen Rubin saying strong relationships are the keys to true happiness and that if given two options, always choose the one that involves others. Suddenly I had to practice what I wrote so off I went to Kelli’s gorgeous home in the hill country.

I had not seen many of the ladies for months but we all quickly caught up and enjoyed a fabulous night of laughter and love. The women, each and every one of them, truly amaze me. When we started our group years back, we had small children, were figuring out our lives, and praying for guidance and understanding. Today, we are strong, accomplished women who are watching our parents age and pass away, stressing over college-age kids, sharing stories of grandkids, downsizing our empty nests, travelling the world, dealing with health issues, and going back to school to get master’s degrees and become respected and award-winning college professors. The babies some of us had while starting our group are now grown and the struggles we now have were all shared and supported. Did I mention I got home past midnight?!

It wasn’t the first night I was out way past by bedtime on a “school night” the past few days.  Earlier in the week I was home at midnight, again for my new prayer group. What a wonderful women they are as well and how lucky I am to have them in my life.

How am I so blessed with such great women in my life?  What I love so much is that the women in my life believe in me. They respect me.  They think I’m funny and they think I’m smart.  They also know I’m not perfect and that my life isn’t either.  Still, they love me.

Four such fabulous friends are the ones I will take my annual girls trip with next month.  We went to college together and nothing compares to our journeys through life and our annual journeys to far away places where we can laugh and be ourselves. It’s always a highlight of my year. This year will be our 11th trip and we are already literally counting down the days.  Again, why me? Why so blessed?

As I’ve blogged many times before, friends are gold to me. They make me laugh and they’ve gotten me through some tough times. Kathy, Ana, Jeannie, Deb, Jenelle, Leslie, MB, Kelly, Melissa, Judy, Deb, Cindy, Rosie, Liz, Norah, and all the women mentioned above. They are my rocks and my inspirations.

Smitty and I often talk about moving now that our nest is empty. I’m all for it, but I am not at all for leaving my friends. It may be easy to keep up with friends via Facebook, Skype, and email, but nothing replaces getting together over wine and coffee and sharing lives face-to-face. It happened so gloriously last night and I am looking forward to it happening again. Hopefully with you!

Great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.

“Happiness doesn’t depend on who you are or what you have, it depends solely on what you think.”  Dale Carnegie

“Happy, happy, happy.”   That, as many of you fellow Duck Dynasty fans know, is Phil’s mantra.  He is one happy man, but what really and truly makes one happy?

I was lucky enough to attend a “meet and greet” and book signing with “The Happiness Project” and “Happier at Home” bestselling author Gretchen Rubin this week and I’m happy to share some of her ideas and findings with you.

Ms. Rubin had a lot of words of wisdom for those in attendance, but three that stood out to me were:

1. The key to happiness is relationships.
2. The biggest mistake people make in pursuing happiness is following career goals in hopes of being happy once they accomplish them.
3. Safe does not always mean happy.

Before elaborating on these, I just want to say how surprised I was at how funny, how real, how entertaining, and how tiny Ms. Rubin is.  She was so down-to-earth and fun to listen to.  I guess those are the results of being a happy person!

So, without any further adieu, number one:  the key to happiness is relationships.   But, not just any relationships, but true, strong bonds with others.  It is truly a case of quality over quantity.  It seems that, regardless of how much money you have, how thin and healthy you might be, where you live, or what your job is, unless you have friends that you trust, that you respect, and that make you laugh, your chances of being truly happy diminish greatly.

I love Ms. Rubin, love her books and her blogs, and quote her often, but I’m also one of those who is never bored being home and doesn’t have the need for constant interaction and activity.  So, it was a little jolting when she recommended that, when debating what activity to do, always choose the one that involves other people.  Yikes.  Sometimes I don’t want to!    Still, I do cherish friends and close relationships.  I thrive on them.  They are gold to me.

Not everyone finds it easy to make friends though, and even more importantly, keep them.  As I always told my daughter when she was little, no one has to be your friend.  You need to make people want to be your friend.  Ms. Rubin says she knows this all too well and expressed her belief that the best place to find a friend is friends of your friends.  What?  Yep, friends of your current friends or those you meet through your current friends are the best possibilities for, well, friendship.

Number 2:  checking off your career goals spreadsheet is no guarantee for happiness.  Ms. Rubin told us that so many folks get bogged down in being successful in their careers that they never actually enjoy their work and aren’t happy.  She also said pursuing your dreams and not those that others think are the “right ones” will result in more joy and happiness in your life than vice versa.  In other words, do what you love and love what you do.  Just because a teacher or parent says Finance is a good thing to major in and then get a good job in, if you hate numbers and lack of creativity, don’t major in it!  No matter how much money you make, you won’t be happy.  As George Burns so famously said, “I would rather be a failure doing something I love than a success doing something I hate.”

Which leads us to number 3:  safe does not always mean happy.  Yes, Accounting is probably a “safe” major and a “safe” bet for employment, but it may not blow your skirt up.  Living in suburban Austin is indeed safe, but downsizing and living on a beach might make me just as happy, if not more so.  If, I can take all the special people in my life with me who I share wonderful relationships with, right?!

So what makes you happy?  Please share your thoughts and tips on what keeps you going and what keeps you smiling.

The Our Father

I cannot say “Our” if my life has no room for others and their needs

I cannot say “Father” if I do not believe in Him

I cannot say “who art in heaven” if all I care about are earthly things

I cannot say “thy kingdom come” if I don’t take time to pray

I cannot say “on earth as it is in heaven” if I worry more about what others think of me then what God thinks of me

I cannot say “give us this day our daily bread” without giving to others first

I cannot say “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us” if I keep grudges and don’t forgive others

I cannot say “lead us not into temptation” if I stay in situations where I know I’ll be tempted

I cannot say “deliver us from evil” if I’m not spiritually prepared

I cannot say “for thine is the kingdom” if I don’t obey God’s laws

I cannot say “thine is the power” if I am unwilling to let God control things rather than try to control everything myself

I cannot say “thine is the glory” if I seek glory for myself first

I cannot say “amen” unless I believe and live in this prayer

Jesus taught us how to pray and He taught us to call him

Our Father

Who art in heaven

Hallowed be thy name

Thy kingdom come

Thy will be done

On earth as it is in heaven

Give us this day

Our daily bread

And forgive us our trespasses

As we forgive those who trespass against us

And lead us not into temptation

But deliver us from evil, amen

For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory

Forever and ever

Amen

So true!

Happy Friday everyone!

I have been so busy writing blogs pertaining to the new year that I’ve totally forgotten to say “thank you!”  Thank you for another great year of allowing me to share my words of wit and wisdom with you.  I am still amazed that so many of you have signed up to read my blogs via email (the easiest way to read it!) and that in 2013 “I Am Woman, I’m a Wordsmith” was read by at least one person in 55 countries, including more than 2,300 Americans!   Wow!  I am beyond overwhelmed!

As I mentioned in my New Year’s Resolution blog, now that I’m clearly fully committed to this writing endeavor that I started on a whim back in June of 2012, I am now committed to improving it.  I will work to make photo groupings and captions better and also hope to incorporate how to allow you to click on links that I write about.  Again, I’m open to any techie support I can get!

As a way of expanding my communications and inspirations with you and others, I am also now more active on Instagram (carlawordsmith) and on Twitter (Carla Smith.)  I’m finding both of them fun and am so grateful that I’ve had my college-aged daughter home for her Christmas break as she’s been a tremendous help and inspiration in improving my social media outlets.  Thank you Kristen!

I started writing this blog as a way of putting down all the many thoughts and ideas I forever have in my head while keeping my beloved writing skills up to par.   As a former journalist, I find that I am always interested in current events, interesting stories, and things that make you think.  As they say, “once a newsie, always a newsie.”   I’ve always loved magazines and so my blog has turned into what I consider my own little on-line magazine chalk-full of just about any subject matter.  What I’ve discovered along the way is that it has become one of my favorite hobbies, is truly a passion of mine, is a documented journey that one day I may look back on in awe, is so very cathartic for me, and has been a blessing in so many ways.

Finally, I want you to know how much I love hearing from you and hope to continue doing so.  Your comments always make my day an your words of encouragement keep me going; you have no idea!  Please continue to tell others to subscribe to my blog, to continue reading it on Facebook, and to continue feeding me ideas and input.

So, here’s to another year of blogging and another year of blessings.  May we enjoy them both together.

 
They say the only two things you can rely on in life are death and taxes. Well, so are certain sales. Below is a quick listing of what goes on sale using a calendar based shopping system, which could help you take of advantage of possible deep discounts throughout 2014. Happy shopping!

January
Winter clothes and accessories, holiday decorations, appliances, furniture, linens, towels, swimwear, toys, TVs, exercise equipment

February
Jewelry, lingerie, air conditioners, electronics, computers, furniture, exercise equipment, mattresses, used cars.

March
Coats, boots, scarves, gloves, gardening tools, washers and dryers, cameras, small electronics, TVs, winter sports gear

April
Dresses and spring clothing, wedding gowns, cruises, vacations, wallpaper, paint, computers, lawn mowers

May
Summer clothes, sneakers, athletic gear, luggage, mattresses, outdoor furniture, televisions, camping and outdoor gear, carpeting, phones, small electronics

June
Electronics, summer sporting goods, mattresses, building materials, camcorders, carpeting, computers, furniture, swimwear

July
Furniture, bikes, mattresses, refrigerators, tires, air conditioners, electronics, outdoor furniture

August
Fall shoes and bags, school supplies, furniture, air conditioners, backpacks, dehumidifiers, outdoor furniture, snow blowers

September
Jackets and boots, cookware, dishes, fans, pool and patio supplies, tires, cars of that year, bikes, cameras, gas grills, lawn mowers, shrubs and trees

October
Winter clothing, fishing gear, new cars after the introduction of next year’s model, gas grills, lawn mowers, cameras, computers

November
Shoes, boys’ clothing, blankets, baby products, camcorders, GPS navigators, toys, TVs

December
Candles, bikes, camcorders, GPS navigators, home appliances, toys, TVs

A scripture to remember all through the new year:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. He will direct your path.” Prov. 3:5-6

May God make our year a happy one. Not by making our paths easy, but by making us sturdy to travel any path. Not by shielding us from all sorrows and pain, but by strengthening us to bear them as they come. Not by taking hardships from us, but by taking fear from our hearts. Not by making our lives always pleasant, but by showing us the many little blessings in our lives. Not by focusing on self-love, but by being there when those we love need us the most. Not by making us anxious, but by relying on God’s love, peace, hope, and joy for the year ahead.

Have you gone shopping for light bulbs in the last three or four days? If you have, you’ve discovered that finding old favorite incandescent bulbs is nearly impossible. That’s because January 1, 2014 began the phase out of standard 40 and 60-watt bulbs…you know the kind we’ve all used for centuries and that Thomas Edison invented?

Why the change? It’s all part of the federal government’s new lighting standards that were part of 2007’s Energy Independence and Security Act. Step one was enacted in 2012 when 100-watt bulbs were eliminated, followed by their 75-watt cousins. Basically it means familiar, general-service bulbs can no longer be made in or imported into the U.S. Incandescent bulbs are not banned, so to speak, but they are required to be more energy-efficient. Some incandescents are even exempt from the new legislation, including three-way bulbs and narrow candelabra-based bulbs. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like any of the “new” bulbs and I’ve stocked up on my favorite “vintage” bulbs.

Still, sometimes you can’t fight change. Our options now are either fluorescent, LED, or halogen bulbs. It all gets very confusing, so here’s the skinny on each:

Incandescent, CFL, LED bulbs

Compact fluorescent light bulbs, or CFLs, last long, are energy efficient and relatively inexpensive, but they have features man people don’t like. First of all, they contain mercury, raising concerns about breakage and disposal; they are ugly (squiggly just doesn’t cut it!); they take forever to light up; they cast an unflattering and harsh light; and they don’t fit clip-on shades.

LED bulbs work through light-emitting diodes. They last for decades, use even less energy than CFLs, but can be fairly expensive. If you have high ceilings and dread light bulbs going out though, find one of these you can live with.

Halogen bulbs are most like incandescent faves but they don’t save as much energy or last as long as CFLs and LEDs. They are your best bet if you’re really fighting the change.

All this was enacted to reduce the amount of energy needed to power American homes and businesses. They’ve done that, but in the meantime consumers are confused and unhappy. Buying a light bulb today often requires more time, more attention, and more money.

It’s not surprising then that consumers have overwhelmingly rejected the new bulbs. Nationwide, incandescent and halogen bulbs still accounted for roughly 75 percent of sales in 2013. Buyers don’t like the confusing varieties and they certainly don’t like spending $30 for a light bulb, like some LEDs can cost, which is probably why they account for a measly 1 percent of bulbs in American homes.

So, what should you do and what bulb should you chose? Consider these tips:

Read the Lighting Facts label that is on every package of light bulbs. It looks a lot like Nutrition Facts labels on food items and will give you the information you can use to compare different bulbs. Also read all packaging to determine if the bulbs are dimmable, can be used outdoors, fit an enclosed fixture, and other specific uses you might be in need of. The days of just buying one style of light bulb and using it everywhere are long gone. Different bulbs today have different uses.

Be familiar with all the new lighting lingo like “lumens” and “Kelvins.”
Lumens basically means the bulb’s brightness. Here’s a comparison to incandescent bulbs:
450 lumens = 40 watts
800 lumens = 60 watts
1,100 lumens = 75-watts
1,600 lumens = 100 watts.

“Kelvin” is the scale used to measure the color temperature. You prefer the warm style of lighting incandescents offer, look for a color temperature of 2,700 Kelvin. The higher the Kelvin number, the cooler…and whiter…the light will be.

It’s also recommended that you look for the Energy Star logo when buying CFL or LED bulbs. This stamp indicates they meet certain quality standards and are backed by warranties.

I know it’s all for the good and that energy savings is vital in today’s ever expanding populous world, but I’m still hoping for a light at the end of this tunnel that’s much more like my favorite 60-watters.