Beyond Words

Happy St. Patrick’s Day…the day when we’re all Irish, we wear green, we pinch family and coworkers, and the river in Chicago flows green…on purpose! It’s also the day when we see lots of shamrocks and four-leaf clovers, but what’s the difference between the two?

The shamrock has three leaves, is considered a clover plant, and is the national symbol of Ireland. Legend has it that it’s what St. Patrick used to teach the Holy Trinity when he travelled in Ireland as a Christian missionary. Patrick was actually born in Great Britain but was captured by Irish pirates when he was 16. He later escaped, returned home, but ultimately heard his calling in the Emerald Isle where he later served as bishop. He is considered the country’s patron saint and March 17, the date of his death, is both a religious and national holiday in Ireland.

My bookmark on a cross of St. Patrick

A four-leaf clover on the other hand, is the result of a mutation in the clover plant that causes it to sprout four leaves instead of the normal three. These four-leaf wonders are very rare and are considered a universal symbol of good luck. May you find one today!

It’s also interesting to note that the Union Jack, the flag of the United Kingdom, is made up of three different crosses:

On that note I will leave you with what is my favorite of the many Irish blessings and sayings:

(Kim Throckmorton-Kimmel photography)

I read a blog today on idolizing and was most struck by the fact that it talked about today’s idols are sometimes the regular people in our lives and not just the people I thought it would mention: movie stars, athletes and other famous celebs. Yes, we will probably forever look up to our favorite athletes and religious mentors but whoever it is we idolize, we put on a pedestal. That’s when, my friends, we tend to be let down because the higher the pedestal, the bigger the fall. It might be my Oklahoma Sooners who let me down, but it could also very well be my daughter or my husband. And vice-versa.

I feel let down today by someone I don’t idolize per se, but who I admire and respect: Marco Rubio. I was let down by his recent stooping to Donald Trump’s juvenile level of personal insults and by his dismal showing in his home state of Florida’s presidential primary yesterday. It appears my pick for president has officially suspended his campaign. He was supposed to be my American Idol but instead he’s now merely “the voice” behind that face. I’ve liked Rubio since the 2012 election and wished then that Mitt Romney would have picked him as his running mate (and still think he would have won if he had.) But now, I’m left without a candidate, a pervasive mood among both Republicans and Democrats I fear.

“A democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.” Thomas Jefferson

Maybe we put our politicians on waaaaay too high of pedestals and then become angry when they don’t live up to their campaign promises. We also expect waaaay too much from them.

Take the “free college” guarantee being thrown around by Democrats. Think about it. Is that really possible? Cue the critics but who will pay professor and staff members’ salaries? How will the electric and internet bills be paid by the hundreds of universities? I’m looking at you Harvard, purveyor of all things progressive.

Free is never free. It bears repeating: free is never free. And what about worth? Doesn’t something need to have value in order to be desired? Well if everyone can get a college education at no cost, what is the value of that degree? In addition, who will choose to take on the jobs all societies need like plumbers, and builders, and electricians if they can instead go to college for free? And that wall Donald Trump vows to build and make Mexico pay for it? Does anyone really and truly believe that is going to happen? Uh…no.

“If God wanted everyone to be the same, He would have made it so everyone had braces on their legs.” Forrest Gump

It all goes back to expecting our candidates to be someone they simply are not and cannot be. Bernie Sanders can no easier promise free college to everyone in the U.S. than I can. His Socialistic “spread the wealth” philosophy has failed every time it’s been tried in other countries (please see Cambodia, Romania, Poland, East Germany, and a little place called the Soviet Union) and his “I’m on your side” tirade is, well, tired. Why is working hard, sacrificing, and succeeding suddenly been a bad thing? Nationalizing the economic production of our country will not work. Capitalism and private sector incentives will. Remember, government does not invest, it spends. It won’t invest in you and your family and what it spends is other people’s money. Your money. It can also raise taxes to increase capital. Your taxes. What is left is a dependent society not increased production or drive. It’s not social justice as elitists would have you believe, it’s, in the words of Winston Churchill, “the sharing of misery.”

“Does it ever get cold on the moral high ground?” Downton Abbey

But all those uniformed protestors and “I want it all” millennials don’t realize all of this. They hear “free” and they vote. Ugh. We have become a society that only hears what it wants to hear and what sounds good rather than one that uses its critical thinking and common sense. And yet, any candidate who tells potential voters “you deserve more and you deserve better” is often judged on their good intentions rather than on their results. No one blames them for making unreasonable promises because “they care.” Ballyhoo. I call B.S. When I hear current complaints about inequality and underrepresented that Sanders and Hillary Clinton preach to their supporters, all I can think is “but you’ve had control for the past eight years!” Maybe all that “hope and change” was unrealistic or maybe it had more to do with fundamentally changing America as a whole and less on giving hope to real Americans.

Not everyone reading this will agree with me, and that’s okay. I can’t expect everyone to think like me and have the same opinions as me. The “Greater Things Today” blog also said doing so is another way we put people on too high of pedestals. I have a lot of respect for some of my friends who I disagree with and I also realize that what I feel or believe is not always entirely right. At the same time I need to realize that who I do admire (and idolize?) will undoubtedly disappoint me.

Worshipping your own good works is also a form of idolatry and one to steer away from. So you’ve completed a marathon, quit drinking, or reached a work goal. Those are all great accomplishments and deserve praise, but it’s wrong to think that because of doing so you are complete and have no other changes to make or goals to reach. Be careful of idolizing yourself just as you are cautious of idolizing others.

As for me, I’ll take my Marco off his political pedestal and continue to search for the next true American idol.

Oh, the Oscars. I stomached as much as I could last night and kept going back to the yawn fest wondering all the while, why. Joining us was my niece and nephew-in-law. He is from Japan and it was the first time he’d ever watched American classic. Needless to say, I was a bit embarrassed for the U.S. The glitz and glam just weren’t there. Instead they were once again replaced by social and political whining.

I thought Chris Rock was funny at first, but his constant racial jabs grew tiresome real fast. And the politics. Double yawn. Sam Smith, a singer no less, wins an OSCAR and all he talks about is his sexual orientation. Leo wins his first Academy Award and proceeds on a tirade about climate change. People, you make millions pretending. Please stop pretending you can also save the world. But I digress…

Moving on to what really matters…the gowns! Here then is my recap:

Pity poor Emily Blunt who had to share the stage with this…

Charlize Theron once again owned the red carpet in her amazing fiery red Dior. Just knowing she would be on the red carpet would make me say, “Okay, you win” even prior to the event. Case closed next case.

And shame on me for saying Hilary Swank hasn’t been heard from in years in my pre-Oscar blog. The girl still has it and this Michael Kors number that she graced the after parties in proved it. Loved the sparkles. Loved the simple slitted skirt. Even loved the shoes.

I also thought Naomi Watts looked stunning in her embellished Armani Prive as did sweet Jennifer Gardner in black Versace. Ben who?

A wicked case of “who wore it best” goes to Reese Witherspoon in Oscar de la Renta and Tina Fey in Atelier Versace. Both purple numbers were stunning but can you say awkward?

I thought Rachel McAdams killed in in this body con green August Getty stunner, which as my niece said, consisted of very unforgiving fabric.

Mindy Kaling. Who knew? She looked fabulous in this blue and black off-the-shoulder trained Elizabeth Kennedy. One of my “best dressed” for sure.

As obnoxious as she is, Sarah Silverman cleaned up well (at least in her clothing) in this understated and chic Zac Posen. Now if we could only work on her mouth.

Sofia Vergara generally looks hot on every Red Carpet albeit similar to any previous one, but I did like her strapless navy Marchesa ball gown. The girl knows what works on her curves and brings it. Every time.

I swooned over the movie “Brooklyn” but didn’t swoon over Saoirse Ronan’s emerald green Calvin Klein sparkler. I liked it but didn’t love it. And what’s up with two different earrings and why didn’t anyone ask her about them?

Best Actress winner Brie Larson looked flowy and airy in her ruffled periwinkle Gucci but again, it was okay to me. Didn’t love it. Didn’t hate it. (Hated her hair though…more on that later.)

I have to include OU grad Olivia Munn in this elegant one-shoulder Stella McCartney. So simple and so stunning but orange? C’mon Olivia!

Kate Bosworth wasn’t on the Red Carpet but when I saw photos of her at after parties in this gray Ralph and Russo I knew she had to make my list of faves.

Every year there is that one couple that kills it. Brad and Angelina. Matthew and Camila. George and Amal. This year that award goes to Jennifer Flavin and Sylvester Stallone. Her black Saint Laurent was breathtaking. Sly might not have won the Oscar but his wife took home the gold fashion-wise. (Speaking of couples, can someone please get Gwen Stefani a dress? We get it girl. You stole the much younger husband but you’re a mom of boys! Hash tag act your age.)

Now for the hair. I thought it was so underwhelming last night. Middle part. Slicked back. No style. But that’s just me. Thank you Reese for keeping it real.

My “in between” look…wanted to love but something kept me from doing so…was Rooney Mara’s. There was just too much going on for my liking. I loved the beading and the winter white, but would have adored it more minus the slit and the layered bottom. And as Shawn Mullins one time sang, “she’d be a whole lot prettier if she smiled once in a while.”

As for disappointments, hate me all you want but I thought Cate Blanchett’s gown was just that, disappointing. Commentators called it sea foam green, I saw 80’s mint green. And, as my niece commented, it was very “arts and craftsy.” Totally agree. It was a Pinterest creation well-done.

I also loathed Best Supporting Actress Alicia Vikander’s yellow high-low, bubble hemmed number. I thought high-low was out. The Danish winner looked more Disney’s Belle than Hollywood movie star.

This truly breaks my heart to write, but Jennifer Lawrence was no bueno last night. The black lace tiered gown just didn’t live up to her impeccable Red Carpet rep. First time she’s failed to impress and it hurts.

Then there’s super model Heidi Klum. Did I say super model? Then why does she always stink up the Red Carpet? Heidi, please, get a new stylist.

But, my worst dressed of the night? Newly crowned “Sports Illustrated” cover model Ashely Graham. The plus-sized sensation is everywhere now, but when she showed up on E! News’ Red Carpet coverage show I about died. No, no, and just no.

What about you? Agree or disagree? Who were your favorites? Who wasn’t? Please share!

Like many of you, millions of Americans, and millions more worldwide, I will be in front of the television tomorrow night watching the Academy Awards. It’s not because I loved the nominated films (although I did LOVE “Brooklyn”) or that those Hollywood types are on my list of “people who I admire the most.” Nope, it’s because….fashion! Truth be told, I’ll probably watch several of the pre-show Red Carpet specials, tune in to see Chris Rock’s intro, stick around for the Best Supporting Actor and Actress awards, then check out until the last hour or so. Who knows, if it’s good and not overly political, I might stick around for the whole thing.

But, let’s get back to the “who are you wearing?” question rather than the “and the Oscar goes to” statement.

Yes, I will wait with bated breath to see Matt Damon and Leonardo DiCaprio’s handsome selves, but sorry men; the Red Carpet is all about the babes. I can’t wait to see what nominees Jennifer Lawrence, Cate Blanchett, Kate Winslet, and Rachel McAdams arrive in as they are pretty bankable as not only actresses but style stars. Julia Roberts, Helen Mirren, Nicole Kidman, Reese Witherspoon, Lupita Nyongo, and Emma Stone also often take my breath away and I’m hoping they do so again this year.

There’s no telling what anyone will show up in and who will make the “Best Dressed” and “Worst Dressed” lists so while we wait, I thought I’d share my top Oscar style picks from years past.

Let’s start with one of this year’s nominees, Jennifer Lawrence. Can I just say JLaw is kind of amazing? Her 2014 red peplumed Dior was simple yet stunning and when she wore her necklace backwards in 2013 jaws dropped. She gets it.

Someone else who, in my opinion, almost always gets it is Renee Zellwegger. A Carolina Herrera fan (as am I), Zellwegger was on point in both 2003 and 2004.

Someone who knows how to dress for her shape is the uber-talented Octavia Spencer. In both 2012 and 2013 she honored Adashi Shoji by chosing his masterpieces and she killed it both times. When you find a design that works, stick with it.

My “most memorable but still chic” awards go to Sharon Stone, Nicole Kidman, and Halle Berry. Stone’s decision in 1988 to pair her lavender Vera Wang skirt with her husband’s Gap shirt was brilliant (as was her newly cropped hair), Kidman’s embroidered chartreuse John Galliano column stole the attention away from even her famous escort in 1997, and who can ever forget Berry’s delicious Elie Saab creation in 2002? She won not only the Oscar that year, but “Best Dressed” as well.

Looking back at Hollywood’s true glamour years, one can only admire Julie Andrews’ simple canary gown that she elegantly paired with gloves and a white stole to accept her Oscar in 1964, while the equally elegant Grace Kelly donned Edith Head’s mint green satin number. Not to be outdone by anyone, Marilyn Monroe glammed up the 1951 Oscars in a black tulle gown that she borrowed from the 20th Century Fox wardrobe department.

Perhaps the most elegant of all elegant, Audrey Hepburn spiced up her trademark Little Black Dress with a fun polka-dot and striped number in 1988 but returned to her simple glamour with a one-shoulder hot pink Givenchy in 1992. No one does it better. No one.

Charlize Theron usually does it well too. Her white two-piece Dior in 2013 was both striking and fun and I adored her “hidden illusion straps” black Dior in 2015.

A somewhat new but reliable style star is the likable Emma Stone. Her red bow-tied Giambattista Valli in 2012 and pulled back hair were perfection and I’m still obsessed with her 2015 Sag Awards black Dior allusion skirt and 2015 Golden Globes black Lanvin embellished top and pants so I’m including them here. Perfection.

Hilary Swank. Haven’t heard that name in a while but boy could she bring it. Her olive green Randolph Duke gown was glamorous enough in 2000 but what stole the show and still has me saying “that’s just sick,” was her stunning Asprey & Garrard necklace that was originally designed for Queen Victoria’s daughters. In 2005 she showed everyone how proud she was of her killer body in a drapey and cut to “there” in the back blue Guy Laroche. Uh-mazing.

Gwyneth Paltrow will never be one of my faves, but the bubblegum pink Ralph Lauren she wore when she won the Oscar in 1999 will forever scream “Oscars” to me (ill-fitted as wrinkled as it was), and the caped winter white Tom Ford in 2012 was also award-winning in its own chic way.

Never a nominee and not even an actress Camila Alves regularly shows Hollywood how it’s done. The Brazilian bombshell and wife of Oscar winner Matthew McConaughey, Alves’ eggplant Donna Karan Atelier in 2015 was as gorgeous as her hubby and this wordsmith has no ample words to describe the incredible blush Gabriela Cadena she wore in 2015. Speechlessly spectacular.

One can never go wrong in basic black, as Reese Witherspoon, Angelina Jolie, Beyoncé, and Julia Roberts all proved. Witherspoon looked stunning with her hair in a pony and her Armani Prive in 2011, and it’s not so much Jolie’s Elie Saab number that I loved in 2009, but rather the incredible 115-carat Lorraine Schwartz earrings she wore with it. I still remember thinking, “wow!” when I saw them. Maybe it’s because emerald is my birthstone. Maybe it’s because they were insanely striking. In 2005 Beyonce was striking in a simple black velvet Versace. It was so refreshing to see her tone it down and strike a classy pose, as did Roberts holding her “Best Actress” Oscar in the forever memorable vintage Valentino in 2001.

Red can sometimes be a risky Red Carpet choice (you never want to blend in with what’s under your feet!), but Kate Winslet, Nicole Kidman, and Jennifer Hudson all proved it can be done. Winslet’s Ben de Lisi red silhouette with a floral strap was oh so pretty in 2002 while Kidman again rocked the red carpet in 2007 in what I still consider one of her best looks ever, a tomato red bowed-at-the-neck Balenciaga. And who looked better and more joyful than Jennifer Hudson in her orange-red Atelier Versace in 2011? New body, new Oscar, new “I’ve got it going on” attitude!

So what do you think? Who have been your favorites? What would you wear to the Oscars? It’s fun to dream, right?

I can only imagine. That was the title of a song magnificently sung during a funeral I attended this past week. It’s a popular song and it’s a gorgeous song. In it, MercyMe wonders if one will dance upon reaching heaven, or will one fall to their knees or just be still. It always makes one think and it had the congregation hushed and reflective.

It’s never easy to attend a funeral but this one was inspiring in so many ways.

First off, the celebrant, who was a family member visiting priest, compared life to the departed’s love of golf. Apparently this loving man had a wicked slice but still loved the game. He had faith in his game and such is life said Father Bobby. Life is often all over the place, full of slices and hooks and even many a sand trap and bogey, but through it all we still have faith. We have faith that at the end of our ultimate round, we will find our true game and our glorious eternity.

As hard as it is to attend a funeral, it’s even harder to find the new normal once a loved one is gone. The calls stop coming, the hugs disappear, and people move on with their lives. Reality sets in and pain resurfaces. I loved what Father Bobby told the family though when he said, “Life changed, but it didn’t end.” For their loved one, life is now at its fullest and although theirs is forever changed, they too can only imagine what lies ahead. He lived a good and full life and was loved by all. That’s all we can ask, even as our hearts break and our souls ache. Life’s challenges are designed not to break us though, but to bend us toward God. At times like this however, we stiffen up and it all seems so difficult but as Martin Luther King, Jr. so eloquently said, “Faith is taking the first step, even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”

As I sat in the service, wiping tears when “The Peace Prayer of St. Francis” was sung, I couldn’t help but reflect on my own life and those I love and cherish.

Fresh off my annual college girls’ trip, I felt beyond grateful for these four gal pals of nearly 30 years. Being with them brings true joy and laughter to my life and I feel energized when I’m with them (albeit frumpy as well, surrounded by their beauty and impeccable style) and always learn something from each one of them.

I’m always happy to return home though. My sister is in town with my new grand-nephew (I constantly remind my niece that I’m officially a “great” aunt!) and I love spending time with them and my husband. I also enjoy being back at work, and as I sat in the funeral and noticed two entire pews of colleagues there supporting our co-worker who lost her dad, I couldn’t help but get chills and tear up once again. How beautiful it was to see these busy but loyal women drop everything on their day off and come be as one.

This is what life, and death, is all about. It’s not about money or power or things, it’s about the people you love and who love you. It’s about living a life that results in every putt dropping and the caddie of all caddies carrying you through every round. I can only imagine.

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, the day Lent officially begins and the day many of us vow to “give up” something. Lent is not just a Catholic thing, as many would believe, but is also observed in Anglican, Lutheran, Methodist, and Eastern Orthodox faiths. Considering that its purpose is to draw us closer to God and to be more Christ-like, what’s not to recognize about it by all believers?

Why the Ashes?

To address the elephant in the room, Catholics around the world will gather in churches tomorrow to receive blessed ashes on their foreheads in the shape of a cross. The ashes come from burnt and blessed Palm Sunday palms and symbolize the “ashes to ashes” scripture from Genesis 3:19. They also remind the faithful of their sinfulness and the need to make changes in their lives. Lent begins on Ash Wednesday and ends Holy Thursday, March 24. Sundays are not included as days of abstention or fasting.

Now that the specifics are out of the way, let’s move on to the more spiritual aspects.

Give Up and Give

In mass this past Sunday Deacon Dean gave a sermon that was the kind of sermon I wish we got every week. I left church feeling both fed and inspired. His message to us was to use Lent as a time to grow closer to God step-by-step, day-by-day, so when the day comes that we take our final step, it is an easy one. Loved the analogy.

But why do we “give up” something at Lent? Tradition has it that we abstain from things that take our attention away from God. We try to watch less TV; eat less; and waste less time on computers and phones texting, emailing, and endlessly scrolling through social media sites like Facebook and Instagram. Sunday’s sermon so eloquently suggested we fast from things like those that distance us from God and instead use the time for more proactive and good things. It got me thinking.

What do I habitually do that distances me from God? In today’s ever-growing secular and spiteful world, so many things. So very many things.

Giving up certain foods is what most of us automatically think of. When I was growing up, we’d always give up candy. This made the sweet treats in our Easter baskets all the more rewarding. As I’ve grown up, I still give up a certain sweets (Swedish Fish and any and all gummy candies, which I love, if you must know!) as well as other things that may not take me away from God, but are sacrifices nonetheless. We sacrifice things during Lent to remind us of what Jesus sacrificed for us: his LIFE! But, what can I remove that takes me away from God? I thought about this in mass and am still contemplating it.

One idea I have is to read any type of spiritual book when I go to bed rather than turn to my IPad or TV. When I think of it that way, choosing the IPad or TV over praying or reading definitely leads me away from God. Bingo. I’m gonna give it my best shot! Maybe I’ll even start to like it.

Lent is all about just that: conversion. The goal isn’t just to abstain from something during the 40 days of Lent, but forever. It’s kind of like going on a diet or a fitness program. Your goal shouldn’t be to eat healthy only while dieting or to exercise only while trying to lose weight, but to take on those habits daily and regularly. Giving up sinful things and negative habits during Lent can be as difficult as giving up sodas, chocolate, or fast food, but eliminating them from your life all together is even tougher.

So, avoid those unhealthy sodas and mindless computer games, but how about also giving up things that take the joy out of our lives like resentment, complaining, pessimism, worry, anger, pettiness, and even gossip. As Deacon Dean said on Sunday, rather than seeing homeless people at your car window at a stoplight as an annoyance, think of them as an opportunity to serve Jesus. He suggested giving them socks and underwear as they have nowhere to do laundry so once their undies get old or soiled, they have no choice but to throw them out. How hard is it to keep sock and underwear in your car? Not very.

We tend to look at those homeless souls as icky and dirty, but none of us are genuinely clean and pure. Consider Lent as an early exercise in “spring cleaning” and look at what you need to “clean” out in your “temple.” We all have cobwebs lurking behind all of our good intentions, but as they say, your beliefs don’t make you a good person, your behavior does.

Lastly, Deacon Dean reminded us that we are encouraged to offer up Prayer, Almsgiving, and Fasting during Lent. Prayer consists of our relationship with God, Almsgiving is our relationship with others, and Fasting is our relationship with ourself. Isn’t that how we should always prioritize things: God, others, and self? Tomorrow is a good day to start.

“Happiness comes to those who are fair to others and are always just and good.”

Psalm 106:1

“We are ALL brothers and sisters.” That was the message of today’s gospel and homily and they were both eye-opening and timely. They also go hand-in-hand with the above crayon photo, which is trending as the new and improved variation on skin colors and the coloring of them.

Leading off with the popular 1 Corinthians 13 “Love is patient, love is kind, love is not pompous or boastful…” reading, mass then turned to the gospel and Luke 4:21. In it, Jesus is not accepted by some even in his “native place” and He scolds others for not accepting lepers, foreigners, or anyone different from themselves. Fast forward to today’s world and you can’t help but see the correlation between the lepers of Jesus’ time and today’s refugees and immigrants.

Father’s homily was powerful and riveting. Sitting there, I’m certain I wasn’t alone in asking myself whether I’m welcoming to others. Do I tolerate differences? Do I accept even though I disagree? I’ve always joked that as a conservative Oklahoma Sooner living in uber- liberal and home of the Texas Longhorns, Austin, Texas I have no choice but to do just that if I want friends and co-workers who like me, but in all seriousness and in matters more important, yes but sometimes sadly no.

I’m human and have no shame in my game admitting that the global refugee crisis concerns me. Do I believe many of them are innocents? Yes, of course. Do I fear that hidden among them are potential terrorists and enemies of the free world? Absolutely. Would Jesus accept them? Probably so. Would he condone the recent string of rapes and sexual assaults committed by them in Germany, Sweden and other countries that have welcomed them with open arms? Probably not. Do I want them next door to me? Sadly, no. Do I want them living next to my daughter. Again, no.

Does all this make me a bad person and a non-Christian? I pray not. What about you? Think deep and think hard about it and be honest with yourself.

“Comfort those who are scared and help those who are weak. Be patient with everyone.

Always be joyful and always keep praying. This is God’s will.”

1 Thessalonians 5:14

Father also spoke about St. Francis calling everyone his “brothers and sisters” and encouraged us to do the same. All people…the rich, the poor, the gay, the straight, the right-wing, the left-wing, the black, the white. It’s a tall order but one we must strive to fulfill. Again, I struggle with doing so every day. I struggle on congested roadways. I struggle as I watch the news.  I even struggled in mass today as a young child made loud noises and was allowed to walk up and down the aisles all during mass. This annoyed me. His doing so was very distracting to me. Then I thought, “Would Jesus want him and his family in mass even though he was disruptive?” Yep, and double yep.  Back to “love is patient, love is kind,” right?

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”

Mother Teresa

Driving home from mass Smitty and I talked about judging people and being judgmental. What exactly do they mean?

Basically it’s having an overly critical view of someone and judging them too quickly and too harshly. It’s one thing to disapprove of someone’s actions and think you are better than them but it’s a whole other ballgame to do so based on what’s commonly considered right and wrong. It’s a fine line and one we all walk on a daily basis.

As you start your work week try to be less judgmental and think of ways you can maybe be more patient, more kind, less rude, and less self-seeking. I promise to do the same.

Pretty generous, pretty patient, pretty polite, pretty decent.

Happy National Handwriting Day everyone!

I can hear you now. Yawn. Zzzzzzzz. Boring!

But wait (in that annoying infomercial voice), not everyone is as interested in handwriting as me, but what about if it affects your children’s learning abilities and your memory as you age?

Maybe I have your attention now. Maybe not.

Either way, today is National Handwriting Day and I’m all over it. Especially the lost art of cursive writing, which in my opinion is a shame. I distinctly remember the white on green cursive ABC letters that hung in my childhood classrooms and I treasure recipes I have of my mom’s written in her handwriting. Printing out a recipe off the computer just doesn’t have the same sentiment. And what about historic documents like The Declaration of Independence? They just wouldn’t look the same typed out. On a more current note and considering all the personal data protection concerns we face, what about forgery? It is waaaay easier to forge a printed signature than a cursive one.

Still, think about it: when was the last time you actually wrote something? I still write thank you notes. I still write out my grocery list. And, I’m handwriting all of my student assessments. I’d bet the house that most people email thank you’s, enter grocery lists on their phones, and print work materials off their computers. All this, even though putting pen to paper is proven to help kids learn to read and helps adults learn new concepts.

The Lost Art of Cursive

But, cursive is fast becoming a correspondence relic and what some consider a 21^st century skill. The writing may be on the wall for cursive, and it’s not pretty. Do we really want future generations to be unable to read our country’s historic documents? Remember shorthand? Well, cursive may not be far behind even though the physical act of writing helps students improve fine motor skills that help them get through life. It also develops letter recognition, which is a strong predictor of reading success. The spill-over between writing and reading is undeniable and yet it seems the keyboard is taking over. So is Common Core.

Oh Common Core, the set of uniform (and controversial) educational standards that have been adopted in most states and that do not support the teaching of legible writing after first grade. After that, it’s all about keyboard proficiency. It’s an effort to improve America’s schools, but not everyone is on board the keyboard only trend.

Get it Write

Psychologists and neurologists alike warn educators that learning cursive is an important tool for cognitive development and that it is way too early to eliminate handwriting curriculum. A New York Times article reported that children read better when they learn to write by hand and that writing also makes them better at generating ideas and retaining information.

Apparently the brain likes handwriting so what’s not to love?

A study at Indiana University proved this by showing a letter to children who had not yet learned to read or write and asked them to draw or write it down. They could either trace the letter, write it freehand, or type it on a computer. While doing so they were placed in a brain scanner, which showed that those who wrote freehand exhibited increased activity in three key areas of the brain while those who typed or traced the letter showed no similar brain effect. In short, when they wrote the letters they used brain regions known to help reading skills but they did not use these areas when they typed or traced the letters. Mic drop.

The brain is also affected by handwriting in that seeing a letter written in various forms is way more beneficial than seeing it the exact same way every time we read it, like on a computer despite the many font choices. No two letters are the same every time we see one and yet if all kids see are typed versions, their ability to distinguish variations diminishes.

There is also a difference in how the brain relates to cursive and printing and the distinctions are leading some researchers to believe it may even lead to a potential treatment for dyslexia. In alexia, or impaired reading, some people who are unable to process printing can read cursive and vice versa. In addition, students with difficulty reading may develop difficulty with writing, part of what’s known as dysgraphia. Everyone focuses on dyslexia, but alexia and dysgraphia should be equally researched and developed.

So much is being discovered, that a whole new field of research called “Haptics,” in which the interactions of touch, hand movements, and brain function are studied.

And it’s not just school-aged children who benefit from handwriting and who may be in jeopardy if it’s eliminated. A UCLA study showed that college students learn better when they take notes by hand rather than on a laptop and other research showed that writing by hand allows a student to actually reflect on what is being taught, which in the end helps them better understand the lesson as a whole. In adults, memory and learning abilities are greatly enhanced with handwriting.

Another benefit of handwriting something is ownership. Personal style and individuality results in a sort of “I did this” attitude and a proud, confidence-building moment. Everyone can type something in Helvetica but not everyone can artfully write and illustrate. In addition, writing is said to be something akin to playing an instrument and while not everyone has access to an instrument or can afford music lessons, everyone has access to pens and paper.

So, although keyboarding may be fast and efficient, it may also diminish our ability to process new information, and as Yale psychologist Paul Bloom told the New York Times, “With handwriting, the very act of putting it down forces you to focus on what’s important. Maybe it helps you think better.”

Sounds like something “we the people” should be thinking long and hard about. Maybe cursive is the “write stuff” after all.

Snowstorm Jonas is currently wreaking havoc in America’s south and mid-Atlantic and is climbing its way north and east, bringing with it crippling snow, heavy icing, damaging winds, coastal flooding, and “thundersnow.” Businesses are encouraging staff members to head home early and airports up and down the eastern seaboard are cancelling flights. If you do get on a flight, you might want to stock up on flu medications.

Although this winter has been what experts call a “slow” flu season, it’s storms like Jonas that can tip the flu scales into high mode. Here’s why: when blizzards hit people stay inside. When people stay inside they spread more germs. No, you don’t “catch” a cold because it’s cold outside. You get a cold or the flu through viruses spread by germs. Days spent inside allow germs and viruses to spread more readily and easily and THAT’S why more people get sick in colder months. Schools also come into play as they are now in session; meaning kids are together and probably not so worried about spreading their germs. Viruses also spread more easily in dry air and cold weather has dryer air, so do heated homes. In warmer months, we tend to be outside more but “summer colds” are not uncommon, especially during rainy seasons in tropical places when people stay indoors.

So far the U.S. has not seen a scary flu season like we have the past three years. Last year was especially bad as the flu vaccine that many received was not effective against the strain of flu that was going around. Although very rare, it could happen again.

Most doctors agree that your best bet against getting the flu is getting the flu shot. You want to get the vaccine before flu season hits, as you become protected about two weeks within getting the vaccine. Prevention is key. As an added bonus, the flu vaccine may reduce your risk of heart attack and stroke for a whole year. Here’s how: when you get the flu your body produces inflammation to fight it but too much inflammation can make your blood vessels unstable, which can result in heart attacks or strokes.

If you do come down with the flu, drink plenty of water and get lots of rest are what most doctors “prescribe.” And although Tamiflu may relieve symptoms and even shorten your flu cycle, most doctors reserve it for patients who are really sick, vulnerable, or weak, such as those with immune disorders, the elderly, or pregnant women. The rest of us will most likely leave our doctor’s office without a Tamiflu prescription. As for how much water you should drink, most physicians say to divide your weight in half and get that many ounces of water each day…even when you’re not sick.

In addition, even though grandma may be wrong about “catching” a cold if you go outside with wet hair, she is right about using a humidifier. Humidifiers help by keeping the mucous membranes in your nose moist, which relieves congestion. They also moisten the air, eliminating the aforementioned and dreaded dryair that viruses thrive in. I also like to use peppermint oil when I’m sick. Peppermint has menthol, which gives it that minty smell, and sniffing it is believed by some to “unstuff” a stuffy nose. It’s also relaxing.

And from the TMI department, doctors interviewed by Redbook magazine say keeping your nose moist also keeps the tiny hairs inside of it called cilia, moist. These little hairs actually fight off viruses by preventing them from entering your body. They literally move around and act like a shield and they work best when they are moist. Who knew?

Since colds and the flu are passed by contact between people, please people, stay home as long as you can if you get sick and keep your kids home if they come down with something. No one wants someone hacking and moaning in the office or sniffling and sneezing in the classroom. Stay home and stay away from people.

Once you are on the road to recovery, be sure to clean and replace. Clean your bathrooms, your sheets and towels, and replace things like toothbrushes and water bottles. Even though once you catch a particular strain of the flu you become immune to that strain for the rest of the season, others in your home could be infected and you could catch something else.

It goes without saying that you should always cover coughs and sneezes with the inside of your elbow (not your hand, which in turn will spread the germs) and wash your hands often. That commercial currently on TV that shows someone sneezing out a blue cloud of air gunk in an elevator really demonstrates why. Think about it, everything that’s touched by someone has the potential of harvesting germs. This, of course, includes door knobs and elevator buttons, but also credit card machines at stores, pens to sign checks at restaurants, and seat pocket reading materials in airplanes. Yep, we’re back to the airplanes. So what about the seats themselves? I’m not even gonna go there.

If Snowstorm Jonas has anything to say about it, millions of flyers may not go anywhere this weekend.

Stay safe, stay warm, and stay healthy.