Beyond Words

 

Smitty and I dropped Kristen off at OU this past week for her senior year of college.  I still cannot believe it.  As author Gretchen Rubin says, “Days are long, years are short.”  Indeed.

 

 

The above scripture has always been mine for Kristen and now that future is getting closer and closer.  Where did the time go since she was that smiling little girl in the photos above?   Through it all, He has helped her prosper in ways I never dreamt, and despite the obstacles she faces, she has shined and she has enjoyed every minute of her college experience.

 

Many of my friends are sending their kids off to college for the first time this month.  I feel for them as they face empty rooms and quiet family gatherings but for all of them – Melissa, Norah, Angie, Shawn, Jeannie, Cindy, Joanna, Karin – and all the others, know that your kids are in good hands and are where they’re supposed to be.  You have raised them well and given them roots.  Now it’s time to give them wings.

 

For these ladies and everyone sending their kids to college, whether for their freshman year or any years after, I offer this “Prayer for Parents of College Students” that I found one time while visiting Smitty’s alma mater, Niagara University.  I hope it gives encouragement, hope, and comfort.

 

“O loving God and source of life, for many years you have blessed and challenged our family with a child.  With your grace we have seen our child grown in heart and mind, in body and spirit.  In order to seek higher learning, our grown child is away from home and we are anxious about the future.  But, we call upon your grace, once again, to surrender the one we love to the guidance of your spirit.  May this child hear your gentle call and follow it to the destiny that you have always had in mind.  Grant this in your name, Oh Lord, who are Father and Mother to all.  Amen.”

 

“He will shield you with His wings.  They will shelter you for He orders the angels to protect you wherever you go. “  Ps. 91:11

Think about it:

Is there anything worse than being around someone with no sense of humor or someone who is full of themself?

 

How does a cradle Catholic even begin to put down in words what it meant to go to Rome with her daughter?  That, my friends, is where I find myself today:  at a loss for words but so desperately wanting to jot it all down.  In many ways today’s blog is written as much for me as it is for you.  It’s a way for me to share my wonderful experiences with you, but to also preserve my memories in a manner that I can look back on from time to time.

 

Let me say up front that the flight was not so bad, other than it’s truly the time you wish you could have anted up for first class!  In my crowded British Airlines aisle seat, I watched several movies and episodes of “House of Cards” and read a lot.  I also slept being that my flight was overnight.  I arrived in London (non-stop from Austin!) refreshed and ready to go.  Before I knew it I was in Rome and looking frantically for Kristen in baggage claim, as her flight from Seville miraculously arrived within 15 minutes of mine.  (Thank you dear Lori at AAA!)  I found her, hugged her nearly to death, and we were off to search for our hotel’s airport shuttle driver.  If you’ve ever been to Rome’s airport, you know what a challenge this is!  We eventually found him and were on our way.

 

Before I go on though, can I just ask why so many people who travel like to be or pretend to be the most seasoned travelers going through security, at the gate, and even in the plane?  People, please.  I don’t care how much you’ve flown overseas or how often your illustrious job flies you around the world, we all hate flying and we’ve all “been there, done that.”  I’ve been to Europe many times but felt perfectly fine in coach.  Quit with the holier than thou attitude.

 

 

 

Okay, now onto something truly holy:  Rome.

 

Beginning with Sunday mass in a small church near St. Peter’s Square on our first full day in Rome, the trip got off to a great start and only got better.  St. Peter’s Square was next.  It was electric and joyful with throngs of people dancing and singing and all eyes gazed upon the window where “il papa” would soon appear.  Once he did, chills.  I literally had tears in my eyes with one arm around Kristen and both eyes and ears attentive to Pope Francis’ Sunday Angelus.  THE Pope!  I still can’t believe it.  I never wanted it to end.  From his initial “bon giorno” to his final blessing, I was in awe and in heaven.  He is one of the main reasons I chose to meet Kristen in Rome rather than London, Paris, or other European destinations.  I’ve been to both but had never been to Rome and I love this Pope.  With our daughter?  The decision was easy and one I will never regret.

 

 

 

 

The People

The City of Seven Hills is a crazy, busy, and noisy city.  I can’t say I fell in love with it, but I did fall in love with its people and its food.  Those lovable, passionate Italianos drive wherever they want, park wherever they want, and basically do whatever they want.  They talk a lot, eat a lot, drink a lot, smoke a lot, and stay out late.  What’s not to love?!  In talking to many of them, I also discovered that they work a lot and they work long, hard hours.  They are quick to point out that their homeland doesn’t offer the same opportunities that they envy about America, but they make the best of their lives and epitomize believing in “la dolce vita.”  I didn’t find the city particularly pretty, but I did find it enchanting.  Everywhere you look there is something historical or remarkable.   It is chalk-full of Bucket List items.

 

I will also always cherish that when an Italian tells you something in English, most words end with “uh.” “The church-uh is at the end-uh the next street-uh.”  And it’s definitely true that when they speak to one another, they “sing” the words.  It is beautiful to hear.  Language was everywhere and I will never forget when Kristen asked her new friend Alessandro if he spoke English his answer was not “a little” or “not much,” but “very small.”  Adorable.   Yes it becomes a struggle to have to think about what you are saying, to not use contractions or slang of any kind, and to have to refer to a translation book or app constantly, but it’s also so delightful and something we just don’t get to experience in America.

 

For the most part, most of the people we met were fascinated with America.  We were pleased to learn one young man is a huge Kevin Durant fan and were somewhat surprised to learn that an Italian man said he was happy Germany won the World Cup only because, “the cup stayed in Europe.”

 

I loved meeting all those people speaking different languages and coming from different lands.  One night we ate dinner between two tables, one of Israelis and one of Mexicans.  I couldn’t help but think that those two countries are the lead stories in newscasts every night back home and here I am sitting with and talking to them.  We were all just enjoying life and not worrying about bombs or borders.  Another night a group of older couples from Pennsylvania chatted with us as a couple from Malta sat between our two tables.  You can’t make this stuff up.  It is what travel is all about and why, although expensive, is ultimately priceless.

 

 

 

 

The Food

Now can we talk about the food in Rome?  As Kristen said, “this is seriously a dream of mine come true:  pizza every day!”  Sorry other world-class cities, Rome has you beat hands down on this one.  Everything you’ve heard about it is true.  The pizza.  The pasta.  The gelato.  Uh-mazing.

 

Knowing we’d be eating quite a bit, we quickly discovered what would become our favorite “home away from home” restaurant:  L’Insalata Ricca in Piazza Risorgimento.  It’s a small, unassuming place and the piazza is not one of Rome’s finest or most famous, but the food was fabulous and the waiters became our friends.   We would return many times.

 

Another foodie highlight was our cooking class, which I talk about in a bit.  It was a blast and not only did we learn how to prepare authentic Italian pasta dishes, we also learned that the ingredients of a Margherita Pizza are what they are because they represent the colors of the Italian flag:  red sauce, green basil, and white cheese.  Prego!

 

 

 

Getting Around

Getting around Rome is not easy.  Street and landmark signs are often impossible to find and walking is often the best way of getting somewhere.  Maps are a must and yet we forever found ourselves lost.  Constantly having to refer to one or to ask directions is probably the one thing I don’t miss about being in Rome.

 

We walked a lot.  Forget heels ladies, they would be a nightmare on the cobblestones and even a cab couldn’t save the day for you here.  You have to walk.  Did I mention you walk a lot in Rome?!

 

The subway system, with just two lines, is easily navigated but I wouldn’t recommend taking it at night.  We’d heard horror stories about pick-pockets on them and throughout Rome, but we never had a problem.  We kept our eyes open and our minds on task.

 

Cabs were also our friends, and what saved us many times with drivers who notoriously don’t speak English, was my idea to carry several cards from our hotel in my purse, which I would simply hand the driver.

 

 

 

Our first underground venture took us to the bustling Piazza di Spagna and the adjacent Spanish Steps.  Amazingly, Kristen ran into some of her American study abroad buddies from their school in Spain right in front of the famous steps.  Tell me I wasn’t quick to snap a few photos of her “Spanish” friends in front of Rome’s Spanish Steps!  Kiss, kiss, adios, and ciao and it was on to shopping on the city’s famed Via del Corso.  You want it, they’ve got it…for a price.   We were officially beat though.  Time to head back to the wonderful Hotel Hearth and call it day.

 

Another tip I’ll share:  do cities by neighborhoods.  I do this all time and it works.  Before visiting a big city, I’ll research its various sections or neighborhoods and divvy them up by days.  This worked like a gem in Rome and I was so glad I did so!

 

 

Slept Tight

We got lucky with our hotel.  I chose it based solely on on-line reviews and photos.  It was perfect.  Small and quaint with a staff and room that were both wonderful.   Mere steps from the Vatican, the hotel offered free breakfast and free Wi-Fi and the room was big, modern, and new.  We quickly grew to love Enrico and Nicola at the front desk as they went out of their way to make sure we got to where we were going.  Write it down.  Hearth Hotel.  You won’t regret it.

 

 

 

Walking and Cooking

The city’s “Centro Storico,” or historic old town, was our next destination.   This is the area of Rome that tourists pine for and our pre-scheduled walking tour of it included Piazza Navona, the Pantheon, Trevi Fountain, and all sights in between.   And, although Trevi Fountain was closed for repair and we couldn’t toss in the requisite “return to Rome” coin, the tour was informative and interesting and ended with a cooking class in a traditional Italian restaurant aptly named “That’s Amore,” during which we made pasta from scratch and enjoyed the fruits of our labor.  It was certainly one of many highlights of the trip.

 

When in Rome you are never too far away from something sacred and religious, so next we hopped on the subway and headed the Lateran area.  Not the first stop on a tourist’s to-do list, but I’d read about the “Scala Santa” in our diocesan monthly newspaper months ago and knew I had to go.  The 28 white marble “Holy Stairs” are, according to legend, the Jerusalem steps leading up to the praetorium of Pontius Pilate on which Jesus stepped during his Passion.  Jesus walked up them.  What?!  Today, pilgrims crawl up the steps on bended knee, which was astonishing to see.   I will never forget the moment I witnessed it all.   (Interesting note:  contrary to popular belief, St. Peter’s Basilica is not the seat of the Bishop of Rome.  That title belongs to the Archbasilica of St. John Lateran, right across the street from Santa Scala.)

 

 

 

Carefree Capri

The next day was yet another “Bucket List” day as we headed to the island of Capri.  Pinch me.  On board our chartered bus we met another mom and daughter travelling under similar circumstances as ours (daughter studied overseas, mom comes to visit) and we enjoyed the Italian countryside as we made our way to the port city of Naples, passing the notorious volcano Mount Vesuvius on the way.  Not much to admire in Naples, but historic nonetheless.  We quickly hopped on a ferry and soon found ourselves among the lemon trees and blue waters of Capri.   Following in Jackie O’s footsteps…literally…I had a pair of sandals personally made for me, bought plenty of lemon products, marveled at the spectacular views that I’d seen so many times in movies and magazines, and swam with Kristen in the sea.  Such an amazing day.

 

 

 

Seeing It All

Day four brought us back to Rome and an official “Skip the Lines” tour of the Vatican.  In a word:  wow.   Funny and knowledgeable Luciana from Argentina was our tour guide and made every minute special.  I, of course, could write an entire blog on just Vatican City, but what I loved most was not the Sistine Chapel as so many do, but actual St. Peter’s Basilica itself.   Described as “an ornament of the earth and the sublime of the beautiful” by American philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson, St. Peter’s is an amazing feat of architecture and beauty without equals.  Religion aside, consider just the art and architecture of the building and you can’t help but stand in awe.

 

Before I go on, I cannot stress enough how much I recommend booking all tours ahead of time.  We did so for the Vatican, Capri, and our walking tour/cooking class through an excellent company called Viator.  There are many tour options available, but I also like time to roam and wander.  The Vatican one is a must though.  I found the entire place mesmerizing.  These are just a few of my personal highlights:

 

• The “baldacchino,” a pavilion-like canopy structure that sits over the main altar is 10 stories tall. Ten stories!t look that big thought because the entire basilica is so massive.  s also said to be the largest piece of bronze in the world.
• The church itself takes up more space in just length than two football fields, and coupled with St. Peter’s Square, encompasses the equivalent of four football fields. That’s a lot of walking to do, and trust me, you walk every inch of it.
• St. Peter’s gravesite sits under the altar. Yes, that St. Peter.
• St. Peter’s Basilica can host 20,000 people…comfortably…and 800 people actually live in the surrounding square.
• The Sistine Chapel is not really a chapel. I pictured a gorgeous altar and pews, but it’s really “just” a long room that was packed with people and guards making sure no one took photos or talked. Granted, the art is unmatched anywhere on earth, but I still found myself longing for a more “churchy” atmosphere.
• I loved the famed bronze statue of St. Peter, the one that pilgrims rub or kiss his right foot. And yes, I did it. I also love that in it, Peter is holding the keys to heaven in his hand.
• Which brings me to the fun fact that St. Peter’s Square and Basilica, when observed from above, were designed to be in the shape of key, as the faith inside of them are the Keys to Heaven.
• I also loved all the chapels off to the sides, particularly those of the Pieta, Michelangelo’s only signed piece of art; the one that holds the body of Pope John Paul II; and the one dedicated to Queen Christina of Sweden who abdicated the throne in order to convert to Catholicism.
• Finally, I love that inscribed in the nave’s ceiling is, “you are Peter and on this rock I will build my church. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven,” taken straight from the bible.

 

To me, the Vatican is Rome and every morning I’d wake up, open our hotel room window, and see the line of people waiting their turns to tour it.  Every morning.  Hundreds of people.  In line for hours.  Lines winding forever around the building’s immense wall.  It is so impressive and so powerful to see.  These people are standing in line to see what is undeniably the world’s greatest religious structure and all it symbolizes.  Not a movie star or an athlete.  But religion at its finest.  They are there to pay homage and to pray.  So unbelievably powerful.

 

 

 

Vatican aside, turns out my favorite area of Rome was Trastevere.  Its small, tree-lined streets were calmer and quieter then those found elsewhere and, sitting adjacent to the Tiber River, it also has a festive river-side section with tents and live music.  Granted, cars literally drove right next to us as we sat eating dinner, but the ambiance was unbelievable.  Loved.  It.

 

 

 

We saved the Coliseum and Roman Forum for our last day and found ourselves smack dab in the middle of what I consider to be the most hectic area of the city.  No arranged tours this time, we just winged it and had fun doing so even though our energy level was low and the area seriously lacks for signage and directions.  I feel fortunate to have seen the Coliseum, but the grounds surrounding it were so busy and chaotic that some of its charm and significance were diminished.

 

I did, however, love the nearby Santa Maria in Aracoeli Basilica.  I truly felt as peace the minute I stepped into it.  Located on the highest summit of Capitoline Hill, one of Rome’s seven hills, the church is reached by walking an almost unbearable amount of steps that I had to rest between several times.  It was worth it and I knew it would be as it houses “Santo Bambino,” a wooden statue of an infant Jesus with faith-filled miraculous powers.  The church itself was gorgeous.  Stunning.  Breathtaking.  Again, not included in the normal tourist guide but worth every step.

 

 

 

Rome is amazing.  I love that, unlike Paris, London, Madrid and even Naples, there are no high rises.  The city buzzes with its own unique energy.  Cars drive anywhere, park anywhere, and are generally banged or scratched up.  There are also nuns everywhere.  We saw them in the subway, crossing busy intersections, and standing in that massive line to tour the Vatican.  (I kinda think they should have their own private entrance, but what do I know!)

 

 

The Little Things

Come to find that what I loved most about Rome were the little things; not the grand ones that one would expect.

 

I loved the cobblestone streets and sidewalks and that in between each square-shaped black and worn stone you can find hundreds of wine corks.  I also loved that dogs were everywhere and that the breed of choice was none other than Jack Russell Terriers.  Boomer would have been so proud!

 

I loved the street musicians as we ate outside and drank Prosecco and “acqua natural.”  Often times I felt like Audrey Hepburn in “Roman Holiday.”

 

I loved just watching the people as they congregated in piazza after piazza and I love that, even though we didn’t go to one, they sell beer at McDonald’s!

 

I will most definitely never forget all the laughs Kristen and I had (“oh no, Prosecco got on my phone!); all the great food we ate; and the wonderful, wonderful people we met, including the sweet Asian girl who laughed and said “we velly silly” as we all kept trying to “pull” a store’s door instead of “push” it, all the time wondering why the sales girls weren’t opening it for us.   Again, the little things.

 

 

 

My visit to Rome was a full week, but I still often felt hurried and rushed.  We were determined to relax and take it all in, but it’s inevitable that tours keep you moving and crowds keep you on edge.  I cherished the down times and the times when Kristen and I could just talk and laugh.   Rome is trying.  Both Kristen and I were often exhausted, but it is also mesmerizing.  I’d often catch myself thinking, “are those columns really tried and true Roman columns and can they really be that old?”  Yes and yes.  You simply can’t believe what you are looking at and I enjoyed and appreciated every bit of it.

 

 

Most of all, I loved experiencing everything with Kristen.  I will never forget the man from Montreal with the stunning eyes who sat next to us on the flight from Rome to London and said, “I can tell the two of you have a very special relationship.”  It melted my heart.

 

Mom and daughter did it all and are so grateful to “dad” for making it all possible.  I feel so incredibly fortunate to have taken this trip of a lifetime and my gratitude for it will never cease.  And, even though Trevi Fountain was closed, we both vow to return and will forever be open to a trip back to Rome.  Mi piaci molto.

 

 

 

 

One week ago today I was attending Sunday mass in a small church near the Vatican in Rome.  It still gives me chills just thinking about it.  It was Kristen’s and my first day in Rome and so fitting that it was a Sunday.

 

You see, the beauty of being Catholic is that you can go to church anywhere in the world and know exactly what is being said, what is being prayed, and what is being offered throughout the mass, regardless of the language. A Catholic mass in Cedar Park, Texas is exactly the exact same mass in Sao Paolo, Brazil or anywhere else in the world, including Rome.  Hash-tag so very blessed.

 

Ironically, our Sunday mass that day in Rome happened to be said by a visiting priest from New Jersey so it was all in English.  I remember leaning over and whispering to Kristen how ironic it was that we had an American priest saying mass in Rome but yet back home in Texas our two parish priests are from Uganda and India.  Again, so Catholic, as the very word means “universal.”

 

From mass we took the short walk to St. Peter’s Square and waited for Pope Francis to appear at the window of the study in the Apostolic Palace to pray the Angelus with the faithful pilgrims gathered, including me and my daughter.  The massive crowd was joyful as groups sang and danced in anxious anticipation.  Flags waved and everyone was polite.  No pushing, no shoving.  Young and old stood as one.  And then we saw the wave and heard that familiar voice say “bon giorno.”  The crowd went wild.

 

How lucky I am to have been a part of something so special.  Kristen and I have been blessed by the Pope.  I am honored.  I am humbled.  So, today my Sunday Scripture blog consists of Pope Francis’ very words from that Sunday morning, words that still ring in my ears:

 

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

The brief similarities put forward in today’s liturgy conclude the chapter of Matthew’s Gospel dedicated to the parables of the Kingdom of God (13:44-52). Among these are two small masterpieces: the parables of the treasure hidden in the field, and the pearl of great price. They tell us that the discovery of the Kingdom of God can come suddenly, as when the peasant farmer is ploughing, finding the treasure unexpectedly; or after a long search, as the pearl for the merchant, who finally found the pearl of great price he had long dreamed of. But in that case and in the other, the primary fact remains that the treasure and the pearl are worth more than all other goods. Therefore, the farmer and the merchant, when they find them, give up everything else to buy them. They do not need to reason, to think, to reflect: they realize immediately the incomparable value of what they have found, and are willing to lose anything to have it.

 

So is the Kingdom of God: whoever finds it has no doubts, he feels that it is what he was looking and waiting for, and that it responds to his most authentic aspirations. And it is really so: those who know Jesus, who meet him personally, remain fascinated, attracted by so much goodness, so much truth, so much beauty, and all in great humility and simplicity. Look for Jesus, encounter Jesus. This is the great treasure!

 

How many people, how many saints, reading the Gospel with an open heart, have been so struck by Jesus, converted to Him. Think of St. Francis of Assisi. He was already a Christian, but “milk-and-water” [insipid]. When he read the Gospel, in a decisive moment of his youth, he met Jesus, and found the Kingdom of God, and then all his dreams of earthly glory vanished. The Gospel makes one know the real, living Jesus. He addresses your heart and changes your life. So yes, leave everything. You can actually change your way of life, or continue to do what you did before, but you are another, you are born again. You find that you are given meaning, flavour, light to everything, even to hardships, even to suffering, even to death. Read the Gospel, read the Gospel. We’ve said this before, remember? Read a passage of the Gospel every day. Also carry a small copy of the Gospel with us, in your pocket, in your handbag – have one at hand, anyway. And there, reading a passage, we find Jesus.

 

Everything makes sense when you find this treasure, which Jesus called “the Kingdom of God,” that is, God reigning in your life, in our lives. He is love, peace and joy in every man and in all men. This is what God wants, it is that for which Jesus gave himself up to die on a Cross, to free us from the power of darkness and move into the realm of life, beauty, goodness, joy! Read the Gospel and find Jesus, and have this Christian joy and the gift of the Holy Spirit.

 

Dear brothers and sisters, you see, the joy of having found the treasure of the Kingdom of God shines through. The Christian cannot conceal his faith, because it shines through in every word, every gesture, even in the most simple, everyday ones. The love that God shines through, given to us through Jesus. Let us pray, through the intercession of the Virgin Mary, that his kingdom of love, justice and peace comes to us and to the whole world.

 

Tomorrow marks the one hundredth anniversary of the outbreak of the First World War, which caused millions of deaths and immense destruction. This conflict, which Pope Benedict XV called a “senseless slaughter”, resulted, after four long years, in a most fragile peace. Tomorrow, as we remember this tragic event, I hope that the mistakes of the past won’t be repeated, but that the lessons of history be taken into account, that the demands of peace through patient and courageous dialogue are always made to prevail.

 

In particular, my thoughts go out to three areas of crisis: the Middle East, Iraq and Ukraine. I ask that you continue to join me in prayer that the Lord may grant to the people and authorities of those areas the wisdom and strength needed to push ahead with the path of peace by addressing each dispute with the tenacity of dialogue and negotiation and with the force of reconciliation. That at the center of every decision, special interests aren’t put forward, but rather the common good and respect for every person. Let’s remember that all is lost with war, and nothing is lost with peace.

 

Brothers and sisters, no more war! No more war! Above all, I think of the children, those who have been denied hope of a decent life, of a future: dead children, wounded children, maimed children, orphaned children, children who have remnants of war as toys, children who don’t know how to smile. Please stop!  I ask you with all my heart, it’s time to stop! Stop, please!

 

I extend a cordial greeting to all of you, pilgrims from Italy and other countries.

 

I greet the group of Brazilians, the parishes of the Diocese of Cartagena (Spain), the scouts of Gavião (Portugal), young people in Madrid, Asidonia-Jerez (Spain), and those of Monteolimpino (Como), ministrants from Conselve and Ronchi Casalserugo , the cubs of Catania and the faithful of Acerra.

 

I wish everyone a good Sunday. Don’t forget to pray for me. Have a good lunch. Goodbye!

 

“He fills me with strength and protects me wherever I go.” Ps 18:32

Scripture is filled with passages about strength. Flip open any bible and you’re sure to come across a chapter or verse dealing with God’s gift of strength to us, the strength of those in the bible, and various other versions of it. The recent bestselling book “Lean In” offers women words of wisdom regarding work-place strength and if you’ve watched the news lately, you’ve seen a lot reported on and written about the rights of women and women of power. They say strength is a virtue, virtues are in the bible, so who then, do I consider “strong women?” Some, may surprise you.

 

She’s not in the bible, but Clarissa Ward is one such woman. You may not know her by name, but you’ve heard her reports. She’s the 5’10” blonde reporting for CBS News from all over the globe. She may look like a movie star but this Yale-educated smartie pants has covered conflicts many a male wouldn’t touch and speaks fluent Mandarin, Russian, and Arabic. Can you say impressive?

 

I’m also impressed with the strength of my friend Kelly who has been dealt several blows in the past few years. Still, her faith sustains her and her God protects her. I’ve also always considered Bernadette, the young French girl who Mary appeared to in Lourdes, France, as incredibly strong. Here was a young girl who knew what she saw and heard and stood by her story even in the face of both ridicule and punishment. Anyone who knows me also knows how much I revered Princess Di, a woman of grace and style who longed for nothing but love and who single-handedly changed the way Britain’s royal family does business. Now that’s a strong woman!

 

 

Many consider Hillary Clinton the perfect example of a strong woman. Not me. In my opinion, she is a woman who married her way to power, stuck by a man who repeatedly cheated on her and humiliated her in a most public manner, has forever sidestepped scandal after scandal, and who just never really seems satisfied. I will, however, give her props for the job she and Bill did raising Chelsea, who by all accounts seems to be a well-rounded and respectable woman. That just may be Hillary’s most important and impressive accomplishment, ranking way above Senator or Secretary of State.

 

On the flip-side, someone who many ridicule is a woman I do consider strong: Sarah Palin. Here’s a woman who negotiated with the Russians, didn’t marry her way to power and took on her party’s leadership head on, ran for vice-president, has raised a family that includes a special needs son, always looks put together, and can shoot her dinner then cook it. Now that’s what I call a feminist!

 

Lastly, I respect the many women in the military and those supporting them at home. My level of esteem for single moms could not be higher, and I applaud all good teachers and nurses. I also truly admire those who are simply trying to make this world a better place, starting with their families and communities in which they live.

 

The Power of Ruth

But, back to scripture. Our bible study recently read the Book of Ruth and my friend Catherine discovered some interesting bits of inspiration from Ruth that we can all relate to and draw encouragement from.

 

Ruth shows us where to turn and what to do when life hurts.
Ruth gives us permission to be bold when we need to be.
Ruth demonstrates the beauty of humility and hard work.
Ruth proves that a woman doesn’t have to be beautiful to get a man’s attention.
Ruth teaches us the value of speaking our minds and opening our hearts.
Ruth makes it clear that patience is a virtue worth cultivating.
Ruth gives us a glimpse of God and the hope He offers.

 

Amazing, right? All this coming from a woman of old, old school and yet still so timely today.

 

 

Women of Excellence

Finally, I’ll leave you today with tips of being a “woman of excellence” as discussed by Karla of the “Classy and Fabulous” blog. She was inspired to do so by a speech given by Joel Osteen and inspired me as I read it.

 

Being a woman of excellence is not the same as striving for perfection, but rather it’s a standard by which you run your life. You give your very best and you do your finest work. First of all, you must have the right mindset. Start your day with a positive thought and try your hardest to steer clear of complaining, whining, and general negativity. One small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.

 

A woman of excellence is also respectful and takes her work seriously, whether it’s running a large corporation or running her household. She is a woman who honors her commitments, is responsible, reliable and trustworthy. She also enjoys being of service to others and looks for opportunities to make life less about herself and more about those around her. Most importantly, she does these things even when no one is watching, which is perhaps the biggest character-revealing action of all.

 

 

 

Still, she cares about her appearance and makes the effort to present herself respectfully and well-groomed. Lastly, she allows faith to play an important role in her life, knowing that the ultimate judge sees her every move.

 

How can we all do a better job of being women of excellence and strive to be more like Ruth and less ruthless? Ask yourself what you are most proud of as a day ends. What did you work really hard on and put extra effort into? Could you have been kinder? Could you have been more tolerant or patient? If you were faced with challenges, did you handle them calmly or could you have done something different? Don’t beat yourself up, but evaluate and reflect.

 

 

None of us are perfect, but that shouldn’t be our goal anyway. Our goal today and every day should be simply to try our best and do the right thing. If you stick to those two things, everything else will most likely fall into place or fall away. Either one is what’s meant to be.

 

I’m interested in knowing who you consider a strong woman.  Please share!

(All photos courtesy Con ‘Olio)

 

 

I attended a fabulous Olive Oils and Balsamics Workshop this past weekend and learned so much.  The cooking class also consisted of a chef’s preparing of three healthy and flavorful salads, so I thought I’d share some of the many tips I acquired as well as one of the recipes.  Thank you Faraday’s Kitchen Store and Con’Olio!

 

 

First, a little background.  The recent and increasing popularity of the long celebrated “Mediterranean Diet” has resulted in massive amounts of olive oil being sold and consumed across America.  It seems we’ve discovered what Italians, Greeks, and Spaniards have known for centuries:  consumption of an olive oil-rich diet has immense health benefits.  The key however, is making sure you are consuming real olive oil.  Yes, sadly, there is what’s basically fake olive oil and it’s probably on your favorite grocer’s shelf.

 

 

 

FAKING IT

Researchers at UC Davis recently concluded that roughly 70 percent of the EVOO, or extra virgin olive oil, sold in the U.S. is tainted and falsely labeled, a stat echoed in the book “Extra Virginity.”  Most of the oils you find on a grocery aisle are pressed, imported, bottled and sold with no regulation guaranteeing their freshness or authenticity.  In the most common practice, EVOO is blended with, or sometimes even substituted by, lower-grade olive oil and processed from olive-pressing waste and over-ripe olives.  In Mediterranean countries, this type of oil is called “lamparte or lamp oil and is considered unfit for human consumption.  Yikes!

 

 

Other common fillers found in so-called pure olive oil are canola, sunflower, and hazelnut oils, as well as chlorophyll, which gives the fake stuff the popular greenish tint.  You’ll also find these types of oils often bottled in green bottles.  I’m not going to mention any names here, but just know that some of the market’s biggest and most popular brands have been found guilty of doing so, largely because there aren’t laws in the U.S. protecting consumers against such products.  This practice is so widespread that producing and selling fraudulent olive oil is said to rival that of the illegal drug trade.

 

 

It’s tough to regulate the olive oil industry in the U.S. because virtually 98 percent of it is imported.   There has been no need to protect domestic olive oil producers and the EU’s International Olive Council’s grading systems carry no weight stateside.

 

 

And, don’t think that just because you spend a lot of money on an olive oil it’s going to be pure and real.  Price is not a sole indicator of this, but if you pay less than $10 a gallon it’s likely the product you just bought isn’t made of olives, much less pure ones.

 

 

 

FOR THE HEALTH OF IT

The attraction to an olive oil diet is understandable.  EVOO is high in anti-oxidants and is known to help cardiac health, lower blood pressure, protect against certain cancers, ease symptoms of ulcers and gastritis, lower gallstone formation, lower “bad cholesterol” in the blood, protect bone density, and it’s a proven anti-inflammatory.  It’s also said that consuming just three tablespoons of fresh olive oil a day helps with joint, heart, and memory health.

 

 

How then, can you know you’re buying the real deal?  Of course Con ‘Olio recommends you buy all your oils from them, but if you don’t, here are some tips they shared:

 

 

Make sure the product you’re buying has a “Harvest” or “Crush” date.  This is the day the olives fell off the tree.  Keep in mind that all those health benefits I mentioned earlier are really only around the first year of oil’s life.  Any oil that has a “best by” date less than two years out is considered good and contrary to what many believe, an olive oil can be used on high heat as long as it’s six months or younger.

 

 

During the class, we actually tasted olive oils much like you would wine at a wine tasting.  I was so hesitant at first, but it’s amazing how wonderful a good olive tastes!  It is vibrant and lively and not greasy or oily…at all.  When tasting an olive oil, it’s recommended you slurp it then continue with a few more “slurps” as it goes down your throat.  It should feel crisp and slightly more and more peppering with every slurp.  That’s how you know you have a new and high-quality olive oil.   After experiencing this, you will know right away when tasting an old, rancid, or just not good olive oil.

 

 

So now that you’re looking in your pantries and seeing that the olive oil you have may just be one of those “blends” of olives from different countries and may contain mysterious fillers, what to do with it?  Use it on cutting boards, wooden salad bowls, and other similar items.   One more tip:  do away with all those decorative olive oil decanters for counter and stove tops.  The best place to store an olive oil is in a cool, dark pantry or cabinet…not on a counter where sun or artificial light can hit it all day.

 

 

We are Austin’s source for the highest quality, largest selection of Ultra Premium extra virgin olive oils & aged balsamic vinegars on tap! Our oils are imported fresh from the Northern & Southern hemisphere, chemically verified & sensory evaluated to ensure authenticity & quality. Harvest dates & full chemistry provided. Come taste the delicious difference!

 

 

Balsamics, on the other hand, are often better the older they are.  In fact, a balsamic that’s been cast-aged for at least 12 years is considered the finest.  Thankfully, a good balsamic will last up to three years in your pantry and considering that “balsam” is the Latin root for “to cure” or “to restore,” you can bet they have health benefits as well.  In fact, they have been used medicinally since the middle ages!

 

 

 

Now to the fun stuff:  the recipe for Chef Katy Parker’s fabulous salad!

 

Quinoa with Arugula, Butternut Squash and Cranberry Salad

For the salad:

2 tsp extra virgin olive oil

1-2 pounds pealed butternut squash

1 cup rinsed quinoa (considered a “super food” and the only grain that’s a whole protein)

2 cups water or vegetable stock

2 cups baby arugula, rinsed and spun dry

¼ cup dried cranberries

 

For the vinaigrette:

Juice of one lime

2 T orange juice

2 T lemon olive oil

2 T strawberry balsamic

½ t salt and pepper

 

Preheat oven to 425.  Place butternut squash in large baking dish and drizzle with olive oil.  Toss to coat and roast for 15-20 minutes until tender and beginning to brown.  Remove from oven, set aside, and cool.

 

While squash is baking, make the quinoa by warming 1 t olive oil in a heavy medium saucepan set over medium-high heat.  Add quinoa and stir until toasted.  Add water or stock, bring to boil, then reduce heat and simmer uncovered until liquid is absorbed and quinoa is tender, about 15 minutes.  (Katy recommends rinsing quinoa before cooking to reduce its bitterness, look for dark quinoa for more flavor, and cook your quinoa in a flavored liquid like stock or wine.)  Quinoa is done cooking when grains appear translucent except for a whitish ring around the middle of each.

 

Remove quinoa from heat, fluff with fork, and transfer to large bowl.  Cube squash and add to bowl, along with arugula and cranberries.

 

In a small bowl, whisk together all vinaigrette ingredients and pour in bowl, tossing to coat all salad ingredients.

 

Serve warm, at room temperature, or chilled.  Serves 4 to 6.

 

Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A crisis has happened in my life.  No, it’s not a crisis in the real sense, but to me, it’s still a crisis.  I’ve become a person who finds it hard to make a decision.  I don’t know why and I don’t know what’s caused it, but I have decided it’s driving me crazy!

 

 

My husband says I over-analyze things waaaaaay too much.  Yes, I do, but is that a bad thing?  Maybe not if the decision is a big one like selling our house or changing jobs, but deciding whether to sign up to volunteer somewhere for four hours or stay home to putter and read probably should be made much easier than I’ve been finding it to be.  This makes it look pretty black and white, but it’s not always the case:

 

 

 

I am committed to improving my ability to make choices, if for no other reason than the fact that it’s been proven that making and sticking to a decision is an actual source of happiness.   I learned that in the July chapter of “The Happiness Project” and it really made me think.   At this point, just making a decision and not lamenting over it would make me happy!

 

 

One positive step I’ve made toward doing this is eliminating all the “shoulds” from my life.  I should do this, I should like that, I should stop something.  Nope, no more shoulds for me.  Should has officially been replaced by “want” or “need.”  End of story.  It’s been decided.

 

 

 

I’m pretty sure one of the biggest obstacles in my inability to make a decision is my fear of regret.  I’m so afraid of making a decision I’ll later regret.  Big or small.  I’ll find a way of seeing the grass could have been greener or even worse, should have been greener.   “I should have just stayed home and read my book.”  “I sure wish I had gone with my friends instead of just staying home reading my book.”  I guess, in a sense, I want to do it all…but I can’t, and neither can you.

 

 

We have all made decisions we later regret.  Some of them have been life-altering, some just lead to undesirable results.   In researching this topic, I discovered that making sound decisions is not necessarily something that comes naturally to us.  In fact, doing so is considered a skill that needs to be developed.   Great.  Now I get to learn something else.

 

 

So, learn I will.

 

 

 

Surprisingly, many experts agree that going with your gut instinct is often a safe bet.  You will, of course, want to take into consideration many factors when deciding yay or nay, which may include all or some of the following:

 

Data.  Basically this is the “give me the facts” stage.  Statistics weigh heavily here, but keep in mind that basing decisions solely on data are often flawed.

 

Information.  This is a collection of the data but with meaning and context added.

 

Knowledge.  Information, but information that is refined by analysis and is tested and verified.

 

Decisions made at the gut level may be either easy or quick to arrive at, but they come with greater risk than those made analyzing data and information.  You also want to factor in any and all sources of information.  Are those sources credible, reliable, and without bias?  If not, find other sources.

 

“Don’t let other people make your choices for you because you are the one who will be accountable for them I the end.”  Joyce Meyer

 

 

I’m not one to ask people’s opinion when grappling with a decision, but seeking input from friends, family members, and co-workers can prove beneficial to many.  Don’t ask too many people, though, as sheer volume of opinion will just lead to more confusion on your part.  Stick to trust sources and rely on the quality over quantity equation.  In the end though, go with your decision.

 

 

 

It is said that nothing will test someone’s ability to lead more than their ability to make decisions.  In fact, a Forbes magazine article that I sourced for this blog states that you cannot separate leadership from decision making and that the two are inexorably linked.   Sadly, it usually takes years of solid decision making to elevate your position, but it only takes one bad decision to lead to your demise.

 

 

Also recommended in the “make a decision” process is to always have a back-up plan.  I also like the idea of incorporating a choice that goes against everything you normally would consider.  Lifehacker.com says doing the exact opposite is sometimes the best way around a decision-making impasse.   Step outside of your comfort zone.  Rattle things up.   Throw in an option that is essentially the opposite of what you’d normally do.  Chances are you won’t go with that choice, but having to consider it may just make the other choices much easier to pick.

 

 

Another idea is to pretend you’re advising a friend on making the very decision you’re contemplating.  Sometimes our emotions make it difficult to make a decision, but helping a colleague do the same may seem less intimidating.

 

 

I like to use is the “pros and cons” method.  You know the drill, on one side I list all the pros of said decision, and on the other side I list all the cons.  This will normally paint a pretty fair picture of what you’re analyzing and has helped me many times.

 

 

 

Okay, maybe that’s what I should start doing…flip and coin and go with it.  Yeah, right.   I’ve decided the mere thought of that scares me to death!  Maybe I’m too much of a planner.  Maybe I worry way too much.  Maybe I’m not trusting enough.  Maybe, as my husband says, I JUST OVERANALYZE TOO MUCH!!!!

 

“You don’t make decisions because they are easy, because they are cheap, or because they are popular.  You make them because they are right.”  Theodore Hesburgh

 

In the end, probably the only question that should be asked when making a decision is “Is it the right thing to do?”  If the answer is no, your decision has been made.