Beyond Words

Enough’s Enough

 How much is enough?  Do we really need more than we have?  What if we could finally come to the understanding that what we have right this minute is really and truly enough?  Those, my readers, are not my words but a descriptive review of the Will Davis Jr.’s new book “Enough:  Finding More by Living with Less.”  The book was recommended by Susie Davis, whose blog “The Good News Girl” is one of my favorites.  It arrived in my in-box as I was writing my recent blog about the little things in life, in which I talked about loving simple daisies over extravagant roses.  I also included one of my favorite quotes, “enough is as good as a feast,” from Mary Poppins, and it got me thinking.

 I’ll admit it:  I’m a pack rat.  A major pack rat.  My husband would agree and would probably go so far as to say I’m a hoarder, even though I guarantee he’s never seen or heard of the reality TV show.  I say it’s because I’m so nostalgic.  He’d say it’s because I’m crazy.  Thankfully, I am an organized pack rat.  I know just where everything is, even though those “things” should probably be donated or in the nearest landfill.

 Whatever the case, when do we ever have enough?  When are we satisfied?  We live in a society that stresses more…more money, more stuff, more power, more everything.  In his book, Davis challenges us to move away from this type of thinking and instead discover the peace that comes through contentment with what we have and compassion for those in need.  His goal is to show us the rewards of living with less in order to be more and do more with our lives.  Sounds simple enough, right?

 I don’t watch “Hoarders” but I am newly addicted to Pinterest.  Many say it is the on-line version of hoarding, and I gotta kinda agree.  My boards do consist of cool ideas and tips, but some are just collections of things I love and cherish.  But, isn’t it more important to collect moments, not things?   How do we become not just happy, but truly content?

 George Lorimer once said “it’s good to have money and the things money can buy, but it’s also good to check once in awhile to make sure you haven’t lost the things money can’t buy.”  And what would those be?  I believe they are faith, family, friends and good health.  Without those, nothing else really matters, right?  They should be the “things” we strive to attain and cherish.  Sadly, I don’t always practice what I preach.

 Maybe I should take a personal challenge and not buy one thing for a certain amount of time.  I would probably discover that my life would not suffer a bit from doing so.  Do I really need another frame, another pair of shoes, or another end table?  I’m hearing a resounding NO!   

 My friend Christie is probably saying it the loudest.  She of the exquisite taste and fabulous wardrobe, but, she of recently selling her stunning Florida home with everything in it.  WHAT?????  No way!  When she told me, I about fainted.  I think I’d rather bungee jump then sell my house with EVERYTHING in it!  What’s the lesson here though?  The more things you own, the more they own you.

So true and so what got our country into the current debt crisis.  “I can’t afford that huge house with a pool but the bank will lend me the money anyway so let’s get into debt up to our eyeballs and buy it anyway.”  There will always be someone with bigger, better and more things than you.  Rather than envy, I often sympathize with those who live in Hollywood or anywhere where money is abundant, as the competition to keep up with the Joneses must be exhausting.  Maybe that’s why they turn to plastic surgery and substance abuse so often.  They own everything and have been everywhere, the only thing left to change is ME and then numb the inevitable dissatisfaction I have with everything.  An exaggeration?  Probably, but maybe ever so slightly accurate.  A pretty face doesn’t always mean a pretty heart, and it certainly doesn’t always mean a happy heart.  Some people are so poor all they have is money and still others have more money then sense.

 One of my favorite children’s authors was Maurice Sendack, who recently died.  I keep a favorite quote of his on my refrigerator:  “There must be more to life than having everything.”  Yes, Mr. Sendack, there must be.   To find that life, maybe the secret is simply not letting the things you want make you forget the things you have.  It’s called being grateful and it just might be the real secret to genuine happiness and to finding what’s truly “the right stuff.”

“True friends are like jewels:  precious and rare.  False ones are like leaves:  found everywhere.”

Is Tilapia Really Worse Than Bacon?

I love red meat.  I can’t imagine being a vegetarian.  Still, I know full well that red meat is not always good for me.  So, in recent months I’ve worked hard at buying more fish to cook at home.  Imagine my horror when I read the above headline on a recent blog!  What???

The post was by Dr. Axe at draxe.com who cited a report by Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center that showed farm-raised tilapia, one of the most highly consumed fish in America, has very low levels of beneficial Omega 3 fatty acid and, perhaps worse, very high levels of Omega 6 fatty acids.  Many of us don’t think twice about eating fish and tilapia tastes reasonably good and is relatively inexpensive.  If it sounds too good to be true, is it?

Yes and no.  It all revolves around where the fish you eat came from. There is a world of difference between fish caught in the wild and farm-raised fish, and it’s worth your while to know just what those differences are.  Turns out, all fish are not created equal.

 Most nutritionists believe farm-raised fish can actually sometimes be bad for you. They may be healthier than some red meats, but they are not always “health food.”  Farm-raised fish may have at least 10 times the cancer causing pollutants as those bred in the wild.  The crowded conditions of fish farms cause the fish to be more susceptible to disease so farm owners give them antibiotics, which can be dangerous to humans.  They are also often treated with harmful pesticides to combat sea lice. 

“For individuals who are eating fish as a method to control inflammatory diseases such as heart disease, it is clear that tilapia is not a good choice,” Dr. Floyd Chilton, a professor of physiology and pharmacology and the director of the WakeForestCenter for Botanical Lipids said.  “All other nutritional content aside, the inflammatory potential of hamburger and pork bacon is lower than the average serving of farmed tilapia.”

In fact, the study concluded that eating farm-raised tilapia may worsen inflammation, which can lead to heart disease, arthritis, asthma, and other health conditions, and could be a potentially dangerous food source for those patients.

 It’s not all bad news though, and facts need to be personally tailored to an individual’s health plan.

“Tilapia is not necessarily worse just because it contains less Omega-3 than salmon and more Omega-6 than bacon,” said Dr. Eliza Mei Perez Francisco, a nutrition support physician at St. Luke’s Medical Center. “It still has many nutritional benefits, and cannot be judged solely on its potential to cause inflammation.”

And unlike other fish, tilapia has very low levels of mercury because it is a fast growing- and short-lived fish that mostly eats a vegetarian diet.  It has been around since Biblical times and is even sometimes called “Saint Peter’s fish” because that was the fish the apostle caught that reportedly carried a coin in its mouth.

Originally, tilapia was only raised in Africa, but because of its introduction into fresh water lakes, it is not only a growing food source, but a growing industry.  Today Asia accounts for 63 percent of worldwide tilapia production, with China, Indonesia, Thailand, and the Philippines producing the most.  Dr. Kevin Fitzsimmons, president of the World Aquaculture Society, calls it the “food fish of the 21st century” and is also referred to as “aquatic chicken” because both Americans and Europeans consider it a low cholesterol “white meat.”

Besides Tilapia, the most common types of farm-raised fish are:

Salmon

Carp

Sea Bass

Catfish

Cod

 If you’re looking for a healthy daily does of omega-3-fatty-acids, stick to wild caught fish like wild sockeye salmon.  Taking a high quality fish oil that contains astaxanthin is also recommended for many.  As for buying fish to eat, check local health food stores and make sure you’re buying real wild caught fish. 

 Sources:  Agriculture Business Week 4/16/09, Brad Sylvester/Yahoo, draxe.com.

Kate Spade

 I was recently watching one of my all-time favorite movies, “Sex and The City,” and even after numerous viewings, I teared up during several scenes.  I love when sweetCharlotteangrily screams “NO!” at Big when he tries to talk to Carrie after leaving her at the altar…or the stairs in her case.  I also totally relate to the scene where Charlotte, Amanda and Samantha decide to go to Cabo after peaking at a still sullen Carrie sitting on the couch, and, what girl doesn’t love the scene when Samantha spoon feeds Carrie in Cabo?  These are true girlfriend moments and equal any of the funny and romantic parts of the movie.

Yet another scene that always touches me is when Big puts that gorgeous cobalt blue Manolo Blahnik pump on Carrie as he proposes in the closet.  So loving.  So fitting.  Wait, the gesture or the shoes?! 

Okay, I admit it:  I am a self-proclaimed shoe-a-holic.  There, I’ve said it.  Anyone who knows me is aware of this.  I never deny it, I never hide it, and I certainly know I am not alone!  Have you seen the TV ads for JustFab.com…an entire website dedicated to finding you that perfect shoe complete with a shoe consultant?  Have you watched “House Hunters” and died every time a giant walk-in closet is revealed?  But, where is HE going to put all HIS stuff?!

What is it about shoes and women?  Maybe it’s what I like to call the “Cinderella Syndrome.”  It is said the Disney princess is proof that “a good pair of shoes can change your life” and, although I may not agree that a prefect pair of pumps can literally change my life, I do agree with this Marilyn Monroe quote. 

Remember playing in “high heels” as a child?  What about all those adorable Barbie pumps?  Were they fun or what?  I am not, by any means, a Wizard of Oz fan, but I get the magic of those ruby slippers Dorothy wore. 

For me, shoes provide an avenue of style and fun.  They also are a matter of comfort…both internally and externally.  Being a “plus size” woman, I forever struggle with clothes fitting just right.  This is not the case with shoes.  I know I can walk into any shoe store anywhere and find a fabulous fit! 

As I said before, you know and I know I am not the only one who is obsessed with shoes.  Take my dear friend Christie who has more style in her pinky than I do in my entire body but is, at the same time, the original “save the earth” momma.  Yet, during hurricanes in herFloridahome, what does she take with her?  Photos and shoes!  Now that’s a girl I can relate to!  Then there’s my high school friendBeckywho worked for two high-end and reputable shoe companies before going back to college to get a late-in-life college degree.  I am so proud of her and I’m also proud that, where is she today?  Working in the shoe industry and living a fabulous life of fun and travel.

My husband and daughter make fun of my devotion to shoes, but trust me, she is right there with me.  On her Christmas list?  Shoes.  Birthday list?  Shoes.  Have I created a monster or a fashionista…are they the same thing?!   

No essay on shoes would be complete without mentioning Christian Louboutin.  For those of you who don’t know, Louboutins, or “Loubous” are the most coveted shoes in the universe by those who can afford them.  Prices start at around $1,000 and can go up to tens of thousands.  Yes, TENS of thousands!  You may have seen them.  They’re the shoes with the trademark red lacquered soles.  Would I ever spend that much money on a pair of shoes?   Probably not, and I have to wonder if they would be as trendy as they are without those red soles.  Yes many of them are works of art, but so are Manolos and other brands.  I am therefore convinced that JLo, Cameron, and all 500 Kardashians wear them just to show they can.  This, annoys even this shoe-a-holic.

Even as I contemplate my next purchase, I instead admire someone like Kate Middleton who wears her trusty nude pumps over and over.  I also treasure the card that hangs in my closet that my friend Ana gave me during a trying time, which asks, “Do these shoes go with my stress?”  I love it so much I used the wording for a board on Pinterest.  Yes, I OF COURSE, have an entire board just for shoes!  One of the coolest pins I included is this photo of the sole of a bride’s shoe that has a surprise love note written on it from her groom.  That, my friends, is much more special to me than a red sole.

I have no plans to therapeutically address my shoe addiction and most likely will continue to stock my closet.  I know it’s excessive and impractical, but it works for me and if the shoe fits…

   “Never look back.  If Cinderella went to pick up her shoe, she wouldn’t have been a princess.”

“I said to myself I’m going to quit complaining.  Lord, help me realize how brief my time on earth will be.  My whole lifetime is but a moment to you and all my busy rushing ends in nothing.”  Ps. 39

“Love ya.”  That’s all the text said yet I’m still thinking about it and even now, writing about it.  It was simple, came from my daughter Kristen and, was more than enough. She doesn’t say it often in a text so when she does, it means the world to me.  Such a little thing that made such a big difference.  Isn’t that what life’s really all about though:  the little things?

Call it what you want…”smell the roses,” “count your blessings,” or simply enjoy the simple things.  Amazingly, even as I was writing this, my friend Karen called to invite me over.  She had bought a strawberry de-corer for me and was ready with melted chocolate, berries and Arnold Palmer iced tea.  It made my day!  A tiny, $5 kitchen gizmo resulted in a couple of hours of quality time with someone I just don’t see often enough. 

Yet another friend, Carolyn, chronicled these very sentiments in her wonderful book “BackyardPearls,” in which she cleverly reminds us that in order to find the gems in our crazy lives, sometimes all we need do is look out our backdoor and into our own homes.  Perhaps Mary Poppins said it best when she told a young Jane and Michael Banks “enough is as good as a feast.”  It has always been one of my favorite quotes and I must say, the British nanny was spot on!

I do love to travel and enjoy getting “dolled up” once in a while, but this photo depicts one of my all-time favorite things to do:  surround myself with good friends, good food,  and good conversation.

 Give me a mason jar full of daisies over an elaborately packaged dozen roses.  For me, a heart-shaped box of chocolates on Valentine’s Day brings me as much joy as a little blue box from Tiffany’s.  And speaking of sweets, I do love my Crème Brule but I’m also a full-fledged Brownie fanatic.  And cheese?  Yep, I’m proud to admit I’ll take a bowl of queso any day over a platter of Brie. 

For me, it is about counting my blessings and enjoying the little things.  I actually have a small “count your blessings” sign above my bathroom sink that I see every morning and every night and it serves as a constant reminder that big doesn’t always mean better and expensive doesn’t always mean the best.  I love nothing more than lazy “do nothing” days and I tend to look back more than I look forward.  Nothing confirms this better than our family Christmas tree.  Number one, it’s always real and number two, it’s not lavish.  Nope, it is humbly decorated each year with treasured childhood and homemade ornaments and those bought in far away places.  No color-coordinated, fancy-smancy tree for us.  Give me down-to-earth and give me the real deal.

That sign pretty much describes me – I’m definitely a wordsmith and I do love pretty things – as long as they are meaningful, elegant, or practical.   One of my favorite extravagances, if you will, are expensive sheets and down comforters and pillows.  I LOVE comfy and cozy beds.  But, right next to them in my inexpensive nightstand are not high-end, celebrity-endorsed lip balms, but rather Mentholatum and Rose Bud Salve…right next to my dollar store back scratcher.

I don’t know what kind of sheets my dear friend Janel has, but I do know she always uses cloth napkins, which I love about her.  You see, Janel is one of the most unpretentious ladies I know.  She’s not out to impress anyone.  She’s not trying to save the earth from needless paper napkins.  She plain and simply likes cloth napkins and the grace and polish they represent.   I love scented candles, but as long as one smells good it can be from a posh boutique or an inexpensive chain store.  Keep it simple silly. 

So today, look around.  What little things in your life bring you great joy?  Appreciate them and always remember that someone else is happy with less than you have and that there is always, always something to be thankful for.  What are you grateful for today?

Think about it…

What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?

Let me first start by saying I am not a millionaire.  I am not even close.  I grew up very middle class in a simple but safe home.  Today I enjoy a good life thanks to hard work and a dedication to living within our means.  Still, it pains me that America used to be a proud nation whose people wanted to succeed and become rich.  More and more we are today a country that wants government handouts for everything.  Being wealthy is actually often considered a negative and failure is accepted and justified.  How did we get here?   What are your thoughts? 

“Before you own the garage, you gotta sweep the floors.”  Kid Rock

“Discipline yourself and others won’t need to.”  John Wooden

Summer is a popular time for travel.  This mean family photos, fun memories and favorite spots.  It also means burglar heaven.  It should come as no surprise that burglars love targeting homes during the summer months.   Although thieves are in and out of your home in an average of six minutes, the damage they can do during that short time can last a lifetime.  Protect your home and everything in it every time you leave.  It’s simple and it’s smart.

In addition to home security systems and the ever-popular timers for lights, hiring a house sitter, and a barking dog noise maker, security expert Ira A. Lipman of Guardsmark says there are other ways…many surprising…to be safe while you’re away and while you’re at home. They include:

• Store valuables in a child’s room rather than in the master bedroom or other common places.  Burglars often leave kids’ room untouched.
• If your car has a remote-controlled key chain alarm, sleep with it next to your bed.  If you hear anything suspicious, hit the panic button and your car alarm will go off, hopefully scaring any potential predators away.
• Outside shrubbery is, in general, not recommended around ground-floor windows because it can serve as a hiding place for burglars, but, if you must plant some, plant thorny ones like rose bushes, which will make thieves think twice about scaling them.
• Keep valuables (including TVs, wrapped presents, computers, etc.) out of sight from passerbys or anyone knocking on your frontdoor.  The more they see, the more they may want.  Be sure to close all window coverings before leaving.
• Experts say 34% of all thieves come in through the front door. Consider installing double key deadbolts, which require a key to enter and to exit. When you’re gone, hide the key. If someone does break in, getting any of your big items out will be difficult unless they break the door down.  (When you are home, be sure to keep the key in a safe and unvarying spot close to the door.) 
• Back up all computers before you leave.   In the event they are stolen, you’ll be glad you did! Also, put any portable hard drives in unlikely places like a laundry room or kitchen pantry
• Ask a neighbor to check your driveway and porch for newspapers, packages, and flyers.  Burglars have been known to leave flyers on doors to see if they are removed.  Best bet:  always cancel your newspaper subscription and mail delivery while you’re gone.
• Always load up your car right before you leave, not the night before, especially if the car will be parked outside all night.  A packed car tells a burglar you’re leaving.
• Lower the volume on your home phone and on any audible voice mail machines.  Repeated voice mail “pick ups” could indicate you’re gone.
• Don’t store anything – chairs, pots, wood, etc. – on a hidden side of your house.  They can serve as ladders for potential burglars.
• Before heading for the beach, wash out an empty suntan lotion bottle and use it to store your phone, wallet, and/or money in your beach bag.

Do you have any tips to add?  Please do so!

For more tips on locks, alarm systems, and general safety, check out Lipman’s book “How to Be Safe,” available through Reader’s Digest Association. 

Be smart and be safe!