Beyond Words

 

 

I love my bed. I actually look forward to climbing into it every night. Not only is it comfy and cozy, next to it are books I’m reading, my TV remote for late-night viewing, and Boomer. Sometimes it even includes my daughter or my husband too!

 

 

Still, as hard as I try and as much as I buy, falling into bed at home never lives up to doing so in a high end hotel.  What gives?  Well, I’ve researched and dug, and here are some tips for duplicating that five star bed of your dreams. I hope the result will be sweet dreams for everyone, wherever you are!

 

 

The first thing you probably notice about a dreamy bed are its many layers. Much more than just sheets and a comforter, the perfect bed consists of sheets, a duvet, a coverlet, mattress cover, matress pad, and an abundance of fluffy pillows. Notice I didn’t say anything about the physical bed or actual mattress.

 

That’s because most experts (Who is a bed expert anyway?!  Sign me up!) agree that putting your money into great bedding rather than into an overpriced mattress is the way to go. It’s amazing what good quality sheets and the right topper can do for a the quality of your sleep and comfort.

 

Your first step is to invest in sheets. To get that crispness we all love, look for 100 percent natural fiber sheets like cotton and a thread count of 200-350, any higher thread counts really don’t make a huge difference.  As for pillows, buy new ones regularly and don’t be afraid to spend some money on them too.  Consider how important they are to a good night’s rest and how much time you spend on them, and opting for higher-end ones won’t seem so outrageous after all. I prefer goose down pillows, which are fluffier than duck down, but if you have allergies or favor foam, there are so many options from which to choose.  January is the best time to invest in new bedding, as annual White Sales offer deep discounts on most items.

 

Okay, now for the mattress. I sleep on a Tempurpedic, but I do feel they are slightly overrated. What I most love about it, is the feather mattress topper I bought that lays on top of it!   A word of caution though: always put a feather mattress cover under both the mattress cover and the fitted sheet so as not to feel feathers poking out of just the sheet! I learned this the hard way.

 

What goes on over the top sheet is entirely up to you. I love my down duvet and comforter but my mom still prefers bedspreads. I also love quilts.  Blanket-wise, I’m not as crazy about them as my mom, but even in the heat of a Texas summer, I like the weight of both of them on me and use them year round.

 

 

I recently watched a popular YouTube commencement address during which the speaker instructed graduates to make their beds every morning. I confess, I don’t. I do sometimes, but not always. I know, I know. Shame on me! But, when I do make it, I follow the standard rule of placing the top-sheet “upside down” so when folded over the duvet, the folded flap is right side up. I like having a contrast of pattern and/or coordinating colors among my bedding. If my sheets are solid, the comforter has pattern. Any shams and throw pillows will have a mix of both.

 

The comfort of your bed doesn’t stop at the mattress and bedding though. Your goal should be to make your entire bedroom a sanctuary of peace and comfort. Don’t have anything next to your bed that doesn’t delight or relax you and try to make even the most utilitarian items pretty. I love the idea of live plants in a bedroom and I much prefer table lamps as a bedroom’s lighting of choice.

 

Finally, how should you take care of all that bedding you’ve invested in? I’ve always been one to wash my sheets in hot water and use fabric softener so they smell yummy, but my friend Ann recently told me she learned just the opposite. Apparently hot water is not the way to go, nor is fabric softener, if crisp sheets are what you want. You decide.

 

I leave you with everyone’s “how to” question: how do I fold a fitted sheet? Here is an easy guide I found in Woman’s Day magazine. Good luck and good night!

 

 

“God cares about the relationship between fathers and their kids. And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction.” Malachi 4:6

 

 

Happy Father’s Day!  Even though my dad passed away years ago, I’m blessed in that I get to celebrate the day through Smitty and Kristen.   Sadly my dad never met Smitty, as he passed my senior year of college.  Maybe that’s why this is one of my favorite collage pics:

 

My dad was a handsome and proud man who worked hard til the day he died.  He proudly served our country and supported our family.  He and Smitty would have gotten along great.  In fact, in many ways I married my dad.

 

 

Photos are all I have left of my dad.  I love taking photos and I cherish so many of them, my personal ones and others I come across.

 

I love this photo of a bride stopping to kiss her dad as she walks down the aisle after her wedding:

 

I also love this photo of a solider with his baby:

Let’s not forget all those dads who can’t be with their children today.

 

 

In our house, Father’s Day couldn’t fall on a better day for, as Kristen calls him, Pops.  He has the U.S. Open, NBA Finals, and World Cup soccer to choose from all day on TV.  In some households this might drive the women nuts, but in ours, it’s “dad’s perfect day, and mom and daughter are so down for it all too!”

 

As many of you know, I love quotes and sayings.  One of my favorites about dads is when, in the movie “The Descendants,” George Clooney’s character says, ““Give your children enough to do something but not enough to do nothing.”  Hollywood, yes but also so true.

 

Here then, are some more funny and philosophical thoughts about dads:

 

 

 

And from one of TV’s wisest and funniest dads:

 

 

Happy Father’s Day Smitty!  Enjoy your day and your daughter!

         

                    

 

Don’t be anxious about tomorrow. God will take care of your tomorrow. Live one day at a time. Matthew 6:34

 

 

 

 

Thank you and Happy Friday the 13th everyone!

So for me, nine out of the above 10 I agree with;  cold Chinese food does nothing for me.  But cold fried chicken or ice cold milk?  Now we’re talking!  I love milk and I drink it daily.  If I were Fraulein Maria, I would sing about it as one of my favorite things.

 

Another one of my favorite things are those quizzes that are all over Facebook and Buzzfeed.  They have you choose colors, decades of music, how you like to wind down and other random things to “determine” what country you should live in, what your theme song is, and other fun things.  I love them!   They make me happy.

 

 

When we get bogged down by the negatives in our lives, it’s important to remember the positives and the things that give us simple joy and make us smile.  It got me thinking, which is also something else I love to do.  So I thought and thought and came up with this:  the things I consider to be “My Cup of Tea,” in no particular order.  Obvious things like good health and the three Fs:  faith, family, and friends, are not included because they kinda go unsaid.  After reading it, I’d love to hear some of yours!

 

My Cup of Tea

Pearls

Dogs

Deep conversations

Football

The University of Oklahoma

Play Do

Lighthouses

Rain, particularly thunderstorms

Snow

Easter lilies

Daisies

Marcona almonds

Cashews

Fajitas

Sleeping late

Tervis Tumblers

Sharpies

The mountains

The beach

The smell of a new can of tennis balls

Chips and queso

“Gilmore Girls”

Shoes

Hot tubs

Spas

“Words with Friends”

Laughing

Coffee

My annual college girls trip

Stone crab

The song “My Girl”

Fruitstripe gum

Donuts

Cartier Love bracelets

Transferware

Sharpies

Pashminas

Rosebud Salve

Current events

The song “Ode to Joy”

OU Mom’s Weekend

Ugg Boots

Toms shoes

Lip balm

Adirondack chairs

The Chrysler Building in NYC

NYC

Votivo Red Currant candles

The smell of rubbing alcohol

The smell of gasoline

Praying

Lantern style light fixtures

“The Sound of Music”

Fashion

Books

Book stores

Stripes, checks and plaid

Photographs

Cows

Road trips

Nesting

Lazy days

Board games

Swedish Fish and most gummy candy

Beyonce’s “Halo”

Lists

Travel

Sinking a long putt

Fields of bluebonnets

Cowboy boots

Magazines

Geico’s camel “hump day” commercial

Coco Mademoiselle and David Yurman perfume

Pedicures

Hot stone massages

“Seinfeld,” “Friends” and “Will and Grace” reruns

“College Gameday”

“Good will Hunting”

“Sex and the City”

“Legally Blonde”

“Hope Floats”

Kendra Scott jewelry

George Strait’s “This Is Where the Cowboy Rides Away”

Vanilla Suede Scentsy

MacKenzie-Childs Courtly Check enamelware

Mary Kay “Toffee”lipstick

Chanel lip gloss

Glitter

Churches

Planners

Sandpipers

Baby’s  Breath

Peanut butter

Team mascots

Princess Diana

Christmas lights

Winnie the Pooh

Pajamas

Order and organization

Oxford shirts

Lettuce wraps

Snorkeling

Wild flowers

The Seed Sower

Donuts

New Mexico chile

Ping pong

Water volleyball

A great steak

Poppies

Macaroons

Petit Fors

Dinner at a really nice restaurant

Paella

Tim Tebow

Kevin Costner

Rubber ducks

Reading the paper

Crayons and coloring books

Chicken salad

Google

My IPhone

This blog

Saints Francis, Jude, Ann, and Therese

Black, white and khaki clothing

Shutters

Tiffany blue

Thanksgiving

Yoga

Trivia

 

 

Happy Birthday Kristen!

 

Well, not really but yesterday, June 9, was supposed to be her birthday. It was my “due date” during my pregnancy and I heard the date non-stop for nearly nine months. Isn’t it funny how, 21 years later, June 9 is still a date that stands out to me? It always makes me think of Kristen as a little baby and ironically I just had coffee with my friend Kathy, in town from Florida, who I haven’t seen since…Kristen was that little baby we called “glow worm.”

 

Do you know someone who has recently welcomed a new bundle of joy to their life? Are you wondering what to take them or how to help them? In keeping with the fact that I wrote yesterday’s blog a day late, I’m doing it again today! In honor of my June 9 due date, here are some Tuesday Tips on how to help someone who just had a baby.

 

When to Visit and For How Long
First off, always call before planning to visit the new parents and avoid the desire to just drop in. During the first several weeks of having a new baby, 15 minute stays are the perfect length of time to stay, but as the post-baby weeks grow in length, so can your visit lengths as this is the time when long-term helpers and family members have probably gone back home, people have stopped coming by, and spouses have returned to work.

 

Wash your hands immediately upon entering the home, don’t wear any perfumes or scented lotions as they are often overpowering to both baby and mom whose senses are heightened, and if you have any signs of illness, don’t go!

 

Something else to keep in mind when visiting a new mom and dad is that the purpose of your visit is, yes to bring a gift and see the new baby, but mostly it’s to be of help. This is the time to do a chore without being asked.  Cook a meal or clean up a mess.  Load or unload the dishwasher. Sweep the kitchen floor. Fold clothes. Take out the trash. Scrub the toilet while using the bathroom.

 

Equally important is to always acknowledge the new baby’s siblings. Bring them a special treat and greet them right away. But, don’t bring your kids along unless they can independently and quietly entertain the baby’s siblings while you visit with and help out mom.

 

 

The Out of Town Guest
First of all, never invite yourself but if you are invited, offer to stay at a hotel.  Chances are you will be welcomed to stay at the home, but leave the hotel option open.

 

Once in the home, it’s your job to be the new parents’ personal assistant. Drive them to appointments. Run errands. Pick up prescriptions. Babysit siblings. Cook. Clean. Do laundry. Everything! Remember that having a houseful of visitors, regardless of how close you are to them, can be overwhelming so try your hardest to do things independently. The less you ask things like “where are the garbage bags” and “what time does Suzie get out of school,” the better.

 

Nighttime is a the perfect yet often overlooked opportunity to help. Offer to stay up late with the baby while mom and dad catch some much-needed rest and after night-time feedings, volunteer to burp the baby and put him/her to bed.

 

Finally, don’t forget outside chores. Lawns still need to be mowed, weeds still need to be pulled, leaves still need to raked, and snow still needs to be shoveled when a new baby arrives.

 

If you live out-of-town and can’t manage a visit, the best gift is that of paying for services such as housecleaning, yard work, diaper service, food service, and even gift cards.

 

 

Other Ways to Help
Anyone who’s had a baby knows the joy of having quiet time either just with the baby or while the baby sleeps. If there are older siblings you feel comfortable with, take them somewhere on an outing. Offer to walk the dog or scoop the poop. Run errands for the new parents like school drop-offs or grocery store shopping. If you are on your way to buy your groceries, call and ask “what can I get you while I’m there?”

 

Help out anywhere you can but don’t give advice unless asked and keep in mind that parenting techniques and philosophies could very likely have changed since you had a baby, especially if you are a generation older than the new mom.

 

The Gift of Food
Who doesn’t love having to not cook, right? Well, new parents rank right up there with those who love it most. But, there are some important guidelines to consider before bringing over that spaghetti or meatloaf.

 

First off, ask about any food allergies or dislikes and don’t take anything that needs to be eaten within the next 24 hours. Also consider cooking breakfast meals, as dinner seems to be what most friends and families drop off. Paper plates, plastic ware, and disposable cups also make great gifts to bring with a meal. Always put whatever you cook in disposable containers and attach heating instructions and a note stating the dish does not have to be returned. In the early days of baby being home, front porch drop offs are more than appropriate, just be sure to notify the family of your delivery!

 

If the mom is breastfeeding, consider making items that have ingredients known to promote breast milk such as oatmeal, whole grains, dark leafy greens, beans, vegetables, and nuts. At the same time, avoid those that contain herbs like peppermint and sage, which reduce breast milk production.

 

Most of all, new parents often just want support and love. Ask them how they’re doing and listen to their answers to get a feel for what they may really need. It most likely is simple encouragement and to be told they are doing a wonderful job.

“He breathed on them and said to them, Receive the Holy Spirit.”  John 20:22

 

I feel horrible.  Yesterday was Pentecost Sunday and I failed to write my normal Sunday Scripture blog.  I’m so bummed about it that I’m writing it today…never too late for God, right?

 

Pentecost Sunday is one the Church’s most ancient feasts and recounts the time when the Holy Spirit came to the Apostles and the Blessed Virgin Mary.  Christ had promised He would send His Holy Spirit and on Pentecost nearly 3,000 non-believers were baptized and the Apostles were granted the Gifts of the Holy Spirit.   On that day, often called the “birthday of the church,” through the descent of the Holy Spirit, Christ’s mission was completed and His promise to be with us forever was fulfilled.

 

I’ve always had a special place in my heart for the Holy Spirit.  Every day I pray, “Holy Spirit help me today in everything I think and do and say” and I’ve passed that simple prayer onto my daughter and the young man I recently sponsored for the sacrament of confirmation.  It’s fitting, as during the Catholic confirmation process, the Gifts of the Holy Spirit are studied at length and it is the sacrament during which we receive and are anointed with the same Spirit of Jesus.  Not a different Spirit or a lesser Spirit, but the same exact spirit.  Hash-tag chills.

 

The Gifts can be found in scripture and are considered gifts from God.  We cannot merit them and we are not entitled to them.  With the help of these gifts we are to go out into the world and proclaim the Word and our faith.  In a way, they are simple rules on how to live life.  They are:

 

 

Gifts of the Holy Spirit

(1 Cor. 12)

Knowledge

“Good sense”

Prevents us from being mislead

Knowing only God can make us truly happy

Wisdom

Helps us have God’s view of things

Helps see God even in suffering

Understanding

Helps us understand church doctrines and mysteries

Helps us avoid evil

Fear of the Lord

When we see what we’re afraid to lose, we see what we really love

Fear of offending God

Fortitude

Courage

Gives us energy to overcome difficulties and pressure

A “holy patience”

Piety

Reverence for God and religious obligations

Inspires ministry

Saints’ intercessions are acts of piety

Counsel

Instructs good judgment

Sense of trust

 

 

 

Amazing, right?  Hair stylists are our friends; sometimes almost family.  What to do then, when your hair stylist moves away?

 

 

Sadly, this has happened to me.  My stylist of more than eight years, Missy, is moving to West Texas.   Needless to say I am selfishly not thrilled about it but I am so happy for her.  She will be opening her own salon and I wish her nothing but the best.  She’s earned it, she deserves it, and I just know she’s going to “blow them away” in her new home.

 

 

Me, I’m losing not only a stylist but a trusted friend.  Missy and I have been through so much together during the last eight years.  I have her cell number.  I’m her Facebook friend.  We’ve shared it all and heard it all.  Nearly once-a-month we have gotten together to not only cut and color but almost more importantly, to listen and support.

 

 

I remember when I first stepped into Missy’s booth.  She had been referred to me by another stylist who wasn’t taking new clients so I figured she was going to be good.  The first things I noticed about her though were her numerous tattoos and her funky hair.  Hmmmm…I thought, how is this going to work out?

 

 

Everyone knows you are not supposed to judge a book by its cover, and boy was I waaaay off base that first day.  I quickly learned that Missy was not only talented and fun; but smart, compassionate, sensible, and very Christian.  In short, she was the whole package:  just enough funk but plenty of faith.

 

 

 

 

 

Missy made me feel like a beauty queen and I looked forward to our two or so hours together every five weeks.  Regardless of what was going on in my life, she always had a way of encouraging me and making me smile.  She is one of the strongest women I know.  Ends up this unconventional looking hair stylist and classic looking suburban mom have so very much in common.  We shared many of the same struggles and dreamed many of the same dreams.  We got each other.   I’m convinced it was a God thing.

 

 

Tomorrow Missy leaves for her new adventures and encourages me to always do the same.  In the meantime, I am now in search of a new hair stylist.  If anyone can recommend someone, please let me know.  They will have very big shoes to fill, and an even bigger heart.

 

 

 

 

 

In light of my Facebook post of today…

“Overheard at the gym today: lady telling our trainer that she was in California and visited a “balance” class but was rudely told that, as a Texan, she probably couldn’t handle the class. She proceeded to tell her maybe not, but at least Texas can balance its budget. Then she went on to work out right next to her and killed it!”

 

…I thought I’d share some cute and funny workout pics.  Enjoy!